THE  LIBRARY 

OF 

THE  UNIVERSITY 

OF  CALIFORNIA 

SANTA  BARBARA 

COLLEGE 

PRESENTED  BY 

Mrs.    J.   R.    Sackridfr 


/  01 


UNGENSORED  CELEBRITIES 


UNCENSORED 
CELEBRITIES 


BY 


E.   T.    RAYMOND 


NEW  YORK 

HENRY   HOLT  AND   COMPANY 
1919 


Printed  in  Great  Britain 

All  rights  r curved 


UNIVFF.STTT  OF  CALIFORNIA 
5  \a  k  ,i  a^JSTA  UAJWtJAKA  COLLEGE  LIBRA*! 


PREFACE 

In  the  political  world,  as  in  all  others,  the  war  has 
created  new  standards,  and  the  following  sketches, 
slight  though  they  be,  are  designed  to  assist  the 
process  of  revaluation . 

They  are  not  meant  for  the  hero-worshipper.  The 
Hero  as  Politician,  always  rare,  is  not  discoverable 
just  now  by  the  present  writer.  "  The  Man  "  of 
the  newspaper  articles  has  still  to  appear,  though 
he  has  been  regularly  announced  every  three  months 
or  so.  For  the  most  part  one  can  only  say  of  political 
things  that  they  have  got  themselves  transacted 
somehow.  But  while,  like  the  angry  ape,  certain 
politicians  have  played  "  fantastic  tricks  before  high 
heaven,"  others  have  emerged  with  credit  from  the 
supreme  test,  and  still  others  have  meant  exceedingly 
well . 

In  his  task  of  classification  the  author  has  paid 
scant  attention  to  party  labels,  and  has  always 
preferred  the  wider  to  the  narrower  loyalty.  The 
most  important  question  to  be  asked  of  any  public 
man  at  this  time,  "Is  he  a  good  Englishman  ?" 
cannot  be  resolved  by  purely  intellectual  tests. 
Judge  Jeffreys  used  to  say  that  he  could  "  smell  "  a 
certain  kind  of  person  "  a  mile  off."    The  present 

5 


6  PREFACE 


writer  can  claim  no  such  delicacy  of  perception ;  yet 
he  is  not  ashamed  to  admit  that  in  some  doubtful 
cases  he  has  relied  chiefly  on  his  nose. 

/With  one  or  two  exceptions,  the  impressions  here 
assembled  were  first  published  in  Everyman. 


CONTENTS 


PAGE 

9 


Mr.  Lloyd  George  - 
Sir  Edward  Carson  - 
Mr.  Asquith     -  - 

The  Earl  of  Derby  - 
Viscount  Grey  of  Fallodon 

Lord  Robert  Cecil    - 

Mr.  Balfour    - 

Sir  F.  E.  Smith 

Mr.  Bonar  Law 

Mr.  Reginald  McKenna 

Lord  Newton  and  Others    - 

Mr.  Winston  Churchill 

Mr.  Harold  Cox         - 

IIO 

Viscount  Milner        - 

Mr.  and  Mrs.  Sidney  Webb 

General  Smuts 

Mr.  Arthur  Henderson 

Mr.  Horatio  Bottomley 

The  Marquess  of  Lansdowne 

Viscount  Northcliffe 

Mr   Austen  Chamberlain 

THE   "  MOVING   POST  "    AND   H>.    R    A.    GWVNNE 

Mr.  Walter  Long       -  ' 

Lord  Beaverbrook     - 
Earl  Curzon  of  Kedleston 

7 


27 


54 
62 

69 
75 

8i 

89 

96 

103 

no 


132 
141 

147 
152 
159 
166 
172 
178 


191 


8 


CONTENTS 


Viscount  Haldane      ... 

Lord  Burnham  and  the  "  Daily  Telegraph 

Mr.  W.  M.  Hughes     -  -  -  - 

Sir  Auckland  Geddes 

Mr.  H.  A.  L.  Fisher 

Sir  Mark  Sykes 

Lord  Buckmaster  of  Cheddington 

Mr.  Samuel  Gompers- 


PAGE 

197 
203 

208 

216 

222 

228 

233 

238 


UNGENSORED  CELEBRITIES 


MR.  LLOYD  GEORGE 

It  is  not  very  material  to  this  or  any  other  generation 
that  Mr.  Lloyd  George  has  been  "  filmed."  But 
posterity,  in  its  study  of  this  time,  will  be  grateful 
that  he  has  been  painted  by  a  man  of  genius. 

To  our  successors  most  that  has  been  written  con- 
cerning this  eminent  man  must  make  for  sheer  be- 
wilderment. It  is  "  hot  ice  and  wondrous  strange 
snow."  They  will  read  of  a  white  negro,  a  dwarf  ten 
feet  high,  a  demagogue  who  tyrannized  over  the  mob, 
a  sycophant  who  bullied  and  plundered  the  rich. 
Many  quite  rational  people  believe  that  Shakespeare 
never  wrote  the  plays  and  sonnets  simply  because 
the  only  dependable  portrait  of  him  is  that  mournful 
Droeshout  engraving  showing  what  Gainsborough 
called  "  as  damned  stupid  a  head  as  ever  I  saw." 
What  degree  of  mis  judgment  might  not  be  possible 
to  men  examining,  after  the  lapse  of  centuries,  a 
newspaper  illustration  of  Mr.  George  opening  a 
bazaar  or  patting  an  election  baby  ? 

But  Mr.  Augustus  John's  notable  canvas  will  tend 
to  avoidance  of  the  grosser  kind  of  error  concerning 
Mr.  Lloyd  George's  character.  Just  as  the  painting 
of  Vandyke  tells  us  more  about  the  essential  Strafford 
than  all  the  careful  pages  of  Clarendon,  so  this 
remarkable  study  reveals  the  true  personality  of 
Mr.  George  better  than  many  volumes  of  Hansard 
and  the  Parliamentary  sketch-writers.     In  regarding 

9 


10      UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

it  one  begins  to  understand  wiry  the  subject  stands 
where  he  is  to-day.  One  realizes  for  the  first  time 
that  there  is  great  strength  in  the  man.  Physical 
strength  first,  despite  the  lack  of  inches :  sturdy  build, 
bull  neck,  powerful  shoulders,  the  whole  man  approxi- 
mating to  that  southern  European  type  which  pro- 
duces the  greatest  masters  of  swordsmanship,  a  type 
that  surprises  in  the  test  of  battle  those  northerners 
who  are  prone  to  overvalue  mere  stature.  One  feels 
that  in  other  times  and  other  circumstances  the 
owner  of  this  physique  might  have  fought  many  duels 
and  yet  died  in  his  bed.  As  things  are  one  is  not 
surprised  to  learn  that  he  bears  fatigue  easily,  can 
sleep  anywhere  and  at  an}'  time,  and  is  not  readily 
daunted  by  difficulties,  so  long  as  they  challenge  his 
interest.  In  the  features  can  be  read  an  inflexibility 
of  purpose  compatible  with  infinite  pliability  of 
method ;  an  impatience  of  opposition ;  even  a  certain 
ruthlessness — one  of  the  abler  Roman  Emperors  of 
the  later  period,  from  Illyria  or  Spain,  might  have  had 
much  such  a  face.  It  is  not  the  face  of  a  great  master 
of  statecraft ;  the  brain  behind  those  rather  sceptical 
and  mocking  eyes  is  quick  and  vigorous,  but  neither 
capacious  nor  subtle;  it  enjoys  an  intellectual  game  of 
draughts,  but  chess  is  rather  beyond  it.  Still,  so  far 
as  they  see,  the  eyes  see  clearty,  and  the  brain,  within 
its  limits,  is  an  admirable  instrument.  For  the 
special  purposes  of  its  owner,  perhaps  as  good  an 
instrument  as  he  could  have. 

For  Mr.  Lloyd  George  belongs  essentially  to  the 
empirical  school  of  statesmanship.  He  does  not  look 
"  before  and  after,"  but  only  about  him.  He  stands 
in  small  awe  of  precedent,  principle,  and  doctrine;  he 
is  always  readier  to  experiment  than  to  think.  In- 
tensely interested  in  the  things  of  the  moment,  in 
himself  and   the  people   he   likes,   in  the  "  causes 


i  > 


MB.  LLOYD  GEORGE  11 

which  appeal  to  him  in  his  varying  moods,  no  man 
has  less  sense  of  the  continuity  of  human  things. 
For  him  the  present  tick  of  the  clock  has  all  the 
dignity  of  the  eternal.  He  is,  in  truth,  as  much  a 
man  of  action  as  any  foxhunter  of  the  shires  or  any 
leader  of  a  forlorn  hope.  Withal  there  is  in  him 
something  of  the  poet ;  he  has  a  touch  of  the  true 
Promethean  fire,  and  only  when  he  is  very  tired  does 
the  coin  from  his  phrase-mint  ring  tinny.  Occasion- 
ally, like  the  German  Emperor,  whom  he  somewhat 
resembles  in  his  knack  of  saying  memorable  things 
on  trivial  occasions  (as  well,  it  must  be  added,  as 
trivial  things  on  some  memorable  occasions),  he  rises 
to  very  considerable  heights;  if  the  Victorian  book- 
making  fashion  still  held,  a  very  tolerable  collection 
of  "  Beauties  "  could  be  made  from  his  speeches. 
But,  though  he  keenly  enjoys  his  gift  of  eloquent 
utterance,  and  sometimes  takes  a  more  languid 
pleasure  in  the  eloquence  of  others,  words  are  for  him 
only  missiles  and  munitions,  better  or  worse;  the 
fight  is  the  main  thing.  The  fever  of  doing,  the  gust 
and  passion  of  perpetual  movement,  the  revolt  against 
passivity,  are  in  his  very  blood.  If  thought  is  a 
malady,  he  is  of  all  men  most  healthy.  His  poor 
acquaintance  with  history  and  literature  are  less  the 
consequence  of  lack  of  opportunity  than  of  his  innate 
dislike  of  hard  study.  He  is  in  a  sense  indolent 
through  excess  of  energy.  What  can  be  done  at  a 
sitting  he  does  as  well  as  most  men;  but  he  quickly 
tires  of  monotonous  application,  and  his  only  idea  of 
repose  is  change  of  effort.  Hence  the  just  criticism 
that  he  raises  many  questions  and  settles  few,  that 
whatever  he  touches  he  leaves  a  litter  for  some  less 
gifted  person  to  clear  up,  and  that  the  more  passion- 
ately he  advocates  a  policy  the  less  he  can  be  trusted 
to  carry  it  to  its  logical  conclusion. 


12  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

The  energy  was  no  doubt  inborn ;  the  lack  of 
discipline  may  be  partly  traceable  to  the  desultory 
education  to  which  he  was  condemned  by  the  failure 
and  early  death  of  his  father.  He  is  fond  of  referring 
to  himself  as  a  child  of  the  people,  and  his  enemies 
used  to  speak  of  him  as  an  essentially  cultureless  man. 
Both  descriptions  are  misleading.  Mr.  Lloyd  George 
belongs  to  a  class  with  a  social  pride  no  less  highly 
developed  than  that  of  the  heraldic  gentleman.  His 
grandfather  and  father  were  both  entirely  "  respec- 
table " — the  former  a  yeoman  farmer  and  the  latter 
a  schoolmaster  who  narrowly  missed  the  ministry. 
Half  the  peerage  might  search  in  vain  for  as  creditable 
a  beginning  of  their  famity  trees.  It  was  accident, 
and  not  birth,  that  threw  the  infant  George -among  the 
poor.  There  is  a  curious  resemblance  between  his 
early  life  and  that  of  Charles  Dickens,  and  a  parallel 
might  be  drawn,  not  inappropriately,  between  the 
effects  of  precocious  experience  of  misfortune  on  these 
two  men.  Had  John  Dickens  been  a  success,  Charles 
would  have  found  life  smoothed  for  him  by  school, 
university,  and  the  rest ;  he  would  doubtless  have 
gone  to  the  Bar  or  passed  into  the  higher  Civil  Service, 
and  would  have  ended  the  usual  "  brilliant  career  " 
in  knighted  and  pensioned  ease.  But  John  Dickens 
made  shipwreck  of  everything,  and  Charles,  with  his 
vivid  nature  and  wounded  middle-class  pride,  filled 
bottles  with  blacking  and  his  soul  with  bitterness. 
To  the  end  of  his  days  he  was  haughtily  conscious  of 
the  outrage,  and  let  it  envenom  every  dart  of  satire 
he  hurled  against  English  society.  What  would  have 
happened  had  the  paternal  George  lived  to  coach  his 
son  for  scholarships,  despatch  him  cheaply  to  Oxford, 
and  throw  the  necessary  monetary  sop  to  the  Inner 
Temple  or  Gray's  Inn  Cerberus  ?  Probably  Mr. 
George    would    have    still    entered    politics,    but    it 


MR.  LLOYD  GEORGE  13 

would  have  been  as  an  Asquith  or  a  Simon,  funda- 
mentally satisfied  with  things  as  they  are,  and 
"  except  in  opinion  not  disagreeing  "  with  his  late 
enemies  the  Dukes. 

As  things  were,  he  started  the  world  without  what 
is  called  education,  but  with  such  substitute  as  a  lad 
of  quick  parts  and  vivid  temperament  may  pick  up 
at  a  village  school  and  from  the  conversation  of  his 
elders.  Such  disadvantages  may  be  easily  over- 
estimated. There  are  many  worse  tutors  than  the 
village  shoemaker  who  was  his  uncle  and  second 
father;  and  it  may  be  doubted  whether  the  Oxford 
Union  offers  a  better  training  for  tne  embryo  politician 
than  the  debating  circ!  j  oi  a  Welsh  Nonconformist 
chapel.  At  any  rate  }foung  George  scraped  together 
enough  information  to  qualify  as  a  solicitor  at  the 
age  of  twenty-one ;  he  became  a  practised  speaker  in 
two  languages  before  he  had  need  of  a  razor;  and  at 
fifteen  he  knew  more  of  the  realities  of  life  than  most 
men  do  at  thirty.  He  was  not,  and  is  not,  possessed 
of  formal  culture.  But  many  of  the  greatest  scholars 
have  had  smaller  opportunity.  If  he  learned  only 
what  was  immediately  necessary  for  his  purpose  the 
fault  was  mainly  his;  application,  as  has  been  already 
noted,  was  painful  to  him,  and  what  could  not  be 
picked  up  sparrow  fashion  he  never  acquired.  But 
to  speak  of  such  a  man  as  "  uneducated  "  is  merely 
snobbish. 

It  is  in  that  last  word  that  we  have  the  secret  of 
much.  In  America  a  politician  thus  "  raised  "  and 
instructed  would  feel  no  sort  of  handicap,  and  nobody 
would  feel  it  for  him.  If  he  did  not  know  one  set  of 
facts,  what  matter  ?  There  are  too  many  facts  for 
one  man  to  know.  Education  of  any  kind  is  to  the 
purpose:  mode  and  place  of  education  matter  little. 
But  in  this  country  schools  and  universities,  though 


14  UNCEXSORED  CELEBRITIES 

in  some  incidental  way  concerned  with  education, 
are  very  much  more  concerned  with  another  thing. 
They  aim  chiefly  at  manufacturing  gentlemen.  In 
this  age  of  progress  we  have  only  negatively  improved 
on  the  ideal  of  the  great  Dr.  Arnold.  His  scheme 
was  for  the  multiplication  of"  Christian  gentlemen;" 
we  have  dropped  the  adjective  and  intensified  the 
substantive.  Otherwise  Arnold's  theory  holds  in  all 
its  massive  simplicity.  Against  the  undoubted  advan- 
tages of  this  view  is  to  be  set  one  trifling  drawback. 
A  certain  number  of  quite  talented  young  men  con- 
stantly fail,  from  some  reason  or  another,  to  receive 
the  recognized  hall-mark  of  good  form,  and,  according 
to  their  natures,  resent  the  fact  either  lazily  or 
vehemently.  Some  run  to  satire,  more  or  less  good- 
humoured  ;  some  take  up  a  fiercely  hostile  attitude 
to  the  established  order  of  things.  There  are  few 
men — and  very  few  Englishmen — so  philosophical 
as  to  be  indifferent  whether  they  are  thought  gentle- 
men, and  the  most  sensitive  of  all  are  those  who,  well 
educated  "  privately,"  find  a  subtle  barrier  between 
themselves  and  the  men  of  Balliol  or  Trinity.  They 
are  snobs,  of  course,  to  trouble  about  the  matter;  but 
they  would  not  trouble  about  it  but  for  the  general 
snobbery. 

The  mischief  operates  in  two  directions.  It  breeds 
not  only  an  irritation  which  sometimes  takes  dis- 
tinctly anti-social  forms,  but  an  involuntary  over- 
estimation  of  academic  and  social  advantages  which 
not  seldom  leads  the  tribune  of  the  plebs,  once 
arrived  at  power,  to  yield  undue  homage  to  great 
wealth  and  settled  position.  The  same  man  who 
declaims  against  privilege  in  the  abstract  is  apt  to 
be  overflattered  when  privilege  in  the  concrete 
invites  him  to  a  country-house  week-end. 

It  may  be  doubted  whether  Mr.  Lloyd  George  was 


MB.  LLOYD  GEORGE  15 

much  troubled  by  his  educational  or  social  limitations 
when  he  entered  Parliament  at  twenty-seven  for 
Carnarvon .  His  rebellion  then  was  against  something 
less  subtle :  something  personified  by  the  squire  of  his 
district  and  the  parson  of  his  parish.  But  as  he 
gradually  ceased  to  be  a  Welsh  Nationalist  and 
developed  into  an  English  Radical  there  can  be  little 
doubt  that  an  additional  touch  of  venom  was  imparted 
to  his  attacks  on  the  "  gentlemanly  party  "  by  the 
fact  that  it  was  so  very  gentlemanly.  Though 
Joseph  Chamberlain  was  the  chief  object  of  his 
youthful  fury,  it  was  not  against  him  but  against  the 
grandees  of  Conservatism  proper  that  the  real  vendetta 
existed.  Mr.  Lloyd  George  no  doubt  felt  much  of 
the  passion  he  expressed  during  the  Boer  War;  one 
of  the  finest  features  of  his  character  is  a  hatred  of  the 
more  theatrical  kinds  of  oppression,  and  he  quite 
sincerely  saw  in  the  warfare  of  the  African  republics 
the  resistance  of  a  weak  thing  in  the  right  to  a  strong- 
thing  in  the  wrong.  He  little  cared  that  the  Boer 
had  been  himself  a  considerable  oppressor.  But 
though  he  might  assail  Mr.  Chamberlain  with  every 
weapon  in  an  armoury  that  included  invective,  satire, 
personal  gibe,  and  imaginative  appeal,  he  could 
hardly  feel  against  that  great  man  as  he  did  against 
the  hereditary  hidalgos.  Both  he  and  Chamberlain 
belonged  to  the  middle  class;  both  were  destitute  of 
what  is  called  the  higher  culture;  Chamberlain  had 
made  his  way,  as  the  young  Welshman  hoped  to  make 
his,  by  sheer  force  of  ability  and  character.  And  if 
some  secret  sympathy  may  have  mingled  with 
antagonism  even  at  this  period,  there  was  assuredly 
more  when  Chamberlain,  flinging  out  of  office,  started 
on  that  last  campaign  which  exhausted  his  ebbing 
vitality.  Such  an  act  of  courage  was  very  much  in 
Mr.  George's  own  way.     Besides,  he  was  not  quite 


16  UN  CENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

at  home  in  the  battle  of  the  economists.  He  declaimed 
rather  than  argued  on  stock  party  lines ;  it  is  doubtful 
whether  his  mind  was  so  constituted  as  to  understand 
the  deeper  issues.  Possibly  it  was  fatigue  of  the 
Tariff  controversy  as  much  as  anything  that  urged 
him  to  the  great  Budget  diversion  of  1909;  during  his 
two  years  at  the  Board  of  Trade  he  was  certainly  as 
silent,  and  probably  as  bored,  as  at  any  period  of  his 
life.  But  he  had  made  some  business  reputation  in 
that  office.  True,  he  was  nothing  to  boast  of  as  a 
departmental  chief;  penny  plain  business  has  never 
attracted  him  like  twopence  coloured  adventure.  He 
left  the  permanent  staff  to  manage  things  much  as 
they  liked;  he  revealed,  however,  a  capacity  in 
negotiation  which  surprised  many  who  had  so  far 
seen  in  him  no  more  than  an  unusually  clever  agitator. 
But  the  comparative  narrowness  of  the  job  irked  him, 
and  when  Mr.  Asquith  became  Prime  Minister  it 
is  believed  that  one  of  his  first  difficulties  was 
Mr.  George's  demand  for  instant  promotion.  The  new 
Chief  is  said  to  have  fancied  Mr.  McKenna  as  his 
successor  at  the  Treasury.  But  Mr.  Lloyd  George 
made  it  plain  that  he  would  be  Chancellor  of  the 
Exchequer  or  nothing,  and  Mr.  Asquith  could  not 
afford  to  let  him  be  nothing. 

As  for  Mr.  George,  he  had  determined  to  be  some- 
thing in  the  most  emphatic  sense.  "  I  care  not  who 
makes  my  country's  laws  if  I  make  its  songs,"  said 
a  rather  foolish  phrase-monger.  Mr.  George  cared 
not  who  presided  over  the  Cabinet  so  long  as  he  made 
the  Budget.  He  was  determined  to  create  a  sensation, 
and  he  succeeded.  The  Budget  of  1909  was  hardly 
revolutionary;  in  these  days  of  really  "  confiscatory 
taxation  "  the  fierce  debate  on  Mr.  George's  proposals 
seems  in  retrospect  theatrical  and  unreal.  But  if 
the  Chancellor  had  really  proposed  to  inscribe  the 


MR.  LLOYD  GEORGE  17 

words  "  National  Property  "  over  Chatsworth  and 
Bowood  he  could  have  hardly  done  it  with  a  more 
apocalyptic  air.  There  is  no  doubt  that  he  enjoyed 
the  whole  thing  immensely.  He  was  avenging  all 
the  slights  of  the  little  Welsh  lad,  all  the  stately 
tolerance  of  the  village  attorney,  all  the  polite  sneers 
levelled  at  the  rising  politician.  Never  was  public 
duty  so  happily  wedded  to  private  inclination. 
There  was  always  something  a  little  feline  in  Mr.  Lloyd 
George,  and  he  now  took  a  perfectly  cat-like  pleasure 
in  tearing  out  the  tail  feathers  of  some  solemn, 
gorgeous,  jewelled  bird,  some  peacock  of  the  peerage 
who  rasped  out  denunciations  of  his  wickedness.  He 
rejoiced  in  his  new  character  as  a  political  Attila  or 
Hammer  of  God,  and  positively  revelled  in  what  he 
called  the  "  howls  from  Belgravia."  He  shrieked 
with  gay  laughter — as  who  would  not? — when  told 
that  he  would  never,  no  never,  be  again  invited  to 
Blenheim ;  he  drove  Lord  Rothschild  into  terrified 
silence  with  a  single  quip.  No  man  in  our  time  has 
ever  enjoyed  such  extremes  of  popularity  and  detesta- 
tion ;  it  was  the  mark  of  good-breeding  to  vilify  him 
as  the  "  little  Welsh  solicitor,"  and  in  the  more  select 
suburbs  of  London  he  was  known  as  the  "  Cad  of  the 
Cabinet."  All  this  glory  could  not  last,  and  if  there 
had  been  no  Insurance  Act  and  no  Marconi  affair 
Mr.  George's  vogue  must  have  suffered  some  diminu- 
tion .  Still,  though  his  prestige  was  somewhat  dimmed , 
the  outbreak  of  war  found  him  still  the  most  powerful 
of  British  ministers. 

It  will  probably  be  many  years  before  the  world 
knows  precisely  how  it  came  to  pass  that  the  most 
pronounced  Pacifist  of  the  Pacifist  Liberal  Cabinet, 
the  man  who  had  declared  that  we  were  "  building 
Dreadnoughts  against  a  phantom,"  and  had  but  six 
months   before  begun  a  passionate  crusade  against 


18  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

armaments,  sided  in  the  fateful  decision  of  August  4, 
19 14,  against  Lord  Morley  and  Mr.  Burns  and  with 
the  Prime  Minister  and  Sir  Edward  Grey.  The  fact 
having  been  taken  for  granted,  its  decisive  impor- 
tance has  hardly  been  enough  realized.  Opposition 
to  war  was  far  stronger  than  is  generally  supposed. 
The  great  financial  interests  were  against  participation ; 
so  far  from  the  war  being  a  "  capitalists'  war,"  it  was 
declared  in  the  teeth  of  the  cosmopolitan  money  kings. 
A  majority  of  the  Cabinet  was  either  unconvinced  or 
lukewarm;  the  great  Quaker  supporters  of  the 
Ministry  were  naturally  adverse;  the  "  Socialists  " 
were  up  in  arms;  even  the  undeniably  patriotic 
Parliamentary  leaders  of  Labour  were  deeply  dis- 
trustful. Had  all  these  elements  been  united  under 
a  leader  of  genius  and  great  Parliamentary  skill, 
the  decision  of  the  Cabinet  might  well  have  been  in 
favour  of  neutrality,  or  at  the  best  Great  Britain 
would  have  entered  the  war  a  State  not  only  militarily 
unprepared  but  divided  against  itself.  It  is  idle  to 
give  imagination  rein  as  to  the  conceivable  limits  of 
the  might-have-been.  But  it  is  hardly  fanciful  to 
sa}''  that,  when  some  instinct  saved  Mr.  Lloyd  George 
from  a  capital  error,  it  also  preserved  civilization  from 
a  crowning  calamity. 

"  The  ill  that's  done  ye  can  compute,  but  never 
what's  resisted."  The  same  applies  to  good.  Many 
may  have  forgotten,  but  none  can  dispute,  as  none 
can  estimate  with  precision,  the  service  Mr.  George 
rendered  to  the  Allied  cause  by  merely  espousing  it. 
But  there  is  naturally  more  division  of  opinion  con- 
cerning the  value  of  his  specific  contributions  to  the 
prosecution  of  the  war.  The  whole  question  is  so 
mixed  up  with  personal  and  party  considerations  that 
it  is  almost  hopeless  to  look  for  an  impartial  judgment 
from  British  men  of  this  generation.     Let  us,  however, 


MR.  LLOYD  GEORGE  19 

make  an  effort  to  view  facts  as  they  would  appear  to 
posterity  or  even  to  a  contemporary  foreigner.  The 
war  work  of  Mr.  Lloyd  George  divides  itself  roughly 
into  two  periods :  his  service  as  a  nominally  subordi- 
nate but  exceedingly  powerful  Minister  and  his 
service  as  titular  head  of  the  Government.  During 
the  first  period  Mr.  Lloyd  George  was  one  of  three  men 
of  British  race  who  in  the  political  sphere  stood  out  as 
world  figures;  the  others  were  Mr.  Asquith  and  Sir 
Edward  Grey.  There  can  be  no  question  as  to  which 
of  the  trio  most  impressed  the  imagination  of  non- 
British  mankind.  Mr.  Asquith 's  words  might  carry 
more  weight  with  a  select  minority ;  Sir  Edward  Grey's 
lightest  whisper  caused  strained  attention  in  every 
gathering  of  official  men.  But  it  was  Mr.  Lloyd 
George's  voice  that  reached  everywhere  the  masses; 
in  France,  Italy,  the  United  States,  and  the  British 
Dominions  he,  perhaps  the  one  politician  (save 
Lord  Milner)  least  typically  British,  figured  as  specially 
the  representative  of  the  British  people. 

The  fact,  of  course,  was  due  to  that  extraordinary 
gift  of  expression  which  Mr.  Lloyd  George  has  brought 
to  the  highest  possible  pitch  of  cultivation,  while 
wisely  refraining  from  anything  which  would  spoil  its 
peculiar  race  and  flavour.  He  has  the  great  advan- 
tage of  being  a  real  orator  in  an  age  when  oratory 
hardly  exists.  It  would  be  tempting  to  discuss  how 
it  happens  that  rhetoric,  most  artificial  of  the  arts, 
was  most  assiduously  cultivated  when  Parliament 
was  most  real,  and  has  declined  with  the  veracity  of 
Parliament.  An  off-hand  answer  would  be  that 
statesmen  thought  it  worth  while  to  cultivate  the  art 
of  persuasive  appeal  so  long  as  votes  might  be 
influenced  by  speech,  but  disdain  such  devices  when 
Whips  can  inform  a  Prime  Minister  long  before  the 
event  what  the  result  of  a  division  will  be,  assuming 


20       UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

that  this  group  is  placated,  and  that  group  effectively 
threatened.  Be  that  as  it  ma}',  there  is  no  doubt 
that  public  speaking,  if  it  had  not  exactly  degenerated, 
had  wholly  changed  its  character  before  Mr.  Lloyd 
George  showed  that  passionate  and  compelling 
rhetoric  still  counts.  A  dry  and  parsimonious  manner, 
of  which  Mr.  Asquith  is  perhaps  the  most  notable 
exemplar,  was  the  model  for  the  High  Court  of 
Parliament  as  well  as  the  King's  Bench;  the  style  of 
Burke  was  as  obsolete  in  the  one  place  as  that  of 
Buzfuz  in  the  other.  There  could  be  no  greater 
reproach  to  a  Parliamentarian  than  to  class  his 
speaking  as  florid  and  "  high-faluting."  Macaulay 
described  the  best  Parliamentary  oratory  as  "  reason 
penetrated  and  made  red  hot  by  passion."  In 
much  modern  speaking  plausibility  depends  on  low 
temperature;  things  which  would  seem  wholly  mad 
if  declaimed  gain  a  certain  appearance  of  sanity  by 
the  moderation  of  their  presentation.  It  is  certain 
that  a  languid  House  of  Commons  has  accepted  many 
measures  at  the  suggestion  of  a  frigid  under-Secretary, 
and  in  face  of  tepidly  rational  objections,  which 
would  have  been  rejected  had  they  been  justified  by 
the  stately  periods  of  Pitt  and  opposed  in  the  splutter- 
ing eloquence  of  Fox. 

Mr.  Lloyd  George  has  to  some  degree  respected  the 
modern  House  of  Commons  humour,  but  the  larger 
audience  of  the  nation  he  treats  to  the  full  power  of 
his  verjr  real  eloquence,  and,  somewhat  to  its  astonish- 
ment, the  British  people  finds  that,  Carlyle  notwith- 
standing, the  talker  is  vastly  important.  Mr.  Lloyd 
George's  talk  has  been  of  incalculable  service  during 
the  war.  I  am  not  referring  here  to  his  more  ambitious 
efforts  of  statesmanlike  utterance;  Mr.  Asquith 
could  always  reply  to  a  German  or  Austrian  statesman, 
or  to  a  great  neutral,  with  more  weight  and  dignity. 


MR.  LLOYD  GEORGE  21 

I  am  thinking  rather  of  speeches  addressed  straight 
to  the  British  people,  telling  them  things  already 
familiar,  but  in  tones  that  vibrated  to  the  very  centre 
of  their  being.  Mr.  Asquith  could  tell  the  people 
why  they  must  fight  as  a  duty.  Mr.  Law  could  tell 
them  what  they  would  lose  by  not  fighting.  Lord 
Lansdowne  could  explain  why  they  must  fight  until 
the  real  pinch  came.  But  only  the  Welsh  orator 
could  say  a  simple  thing  in  this  simple  but  yet  enor- 
mously effective  way: 

"  We  have  been  living  in  a  sheltered  valley  for 
generations.  We  have  been  too  comfortable  and  too 
self-indulgent,  many  perhaps  too  selfish,  and  the  stern 
hand  of  fate  has  scourged  us  to  an  elevation  where  we 
can  see  the  everlasting  things  that  matter — the  great 
peaks  we  had  forgotten,  of  Duty,  Honour,  Patriotism, 
and,  clad  in  glittering  white,  the  towering  pinnacle  of 
Sacrifice  pointing  like  a  rugged  finger  to  heaven." 

Many  of  these  speeches,  as  one  reads  them  now, 
cause  at  once  a  thrill  and  a  shiver — the  thrill  because 
they  revive  in  throbbing  reality  the  emotions  of  a 
moment  past,  the  shiver  because  one  thinks  for  an 
instant,  thanking  Heaven  for  its  mercy,  what  might 
have  been  had  this  power  been  exercised  on  the  other 
side.  It  is  a  power  almost  independent  of  the 
personality  of  the  orator.  Those  who  most  distrust 
Mr.  George  yield  to  the  spell  of  his  eloquence  at  its 
best  with  the  facility  of  his  most  enslaved  admirers. 
Time  and  again  he  has  met,  in  the  House  of  Commons 
and  elsewhere,  an  audience  under  the  cloud  of  a  great 
misfortune,  sullen,  suspicious,  unfriendly;  hardly 
ever  has  he  sat  down  without  bringing  its  mood  in 
harmony  with  his  own.  Occasionally  he  has  been 
tempted,  by  the  consciousness  of  his  power,  to  abuse 
it ;  but  on  the  whole  a  splendid  and  unique  talent  has 
been  well  employed. 


22  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

Of  Mr.  Lloyd  George's  purely  official  activities 
during  the  earlier  war  period  it  is  only  possible  to 
speak  in  general  terms.  When  the  whole  fabric  of 
finance  threatened  to  topple,  large  and  bold  measures 
were  taken  by  a  Treasury  of  which  he  was  the  head. 
They  were  justified  by  their  success,  and  it  is  worth 
noting  that  when  it  was  proposed  to  remove  the 
Chancellor  of  the  Exchequer  to  another  field  the  City 
of  London,  once  bitterly  critical,  petitioned  that  he 
should  remain  in  charge  of  national  finance.  His 
work  at  the  new  Ministry  of  Munitions  was  a  monument 
to  his  energy,  if  cool  examination  could  not  fail  to 
detect  a  good  deal  of  incidental  sloppiness  in  the 
execution  of  a  grandiose  plan.  Under  his  management 
the  department  rapidly  expanded,  and  produced  and 
spent  (even  squandered)  on  a  scale  before  unimagin- 
able. New  industries  were  created,  old  industries  were 
adapted,  to  meet  the  colossal  requirements  of  war, 
and  undeniably  the  main  object  was  attained  in  full 
measure.  If  all  difficulties  were  not  met,  they  were 
at  least  skilfully  dodged ;  some  sort  of  concordat  was 
established  with  Labour  as  to  the  relaxation  of  trade 
union  rules  impeding  production,  and  though  there 
has  been  constant  friction  there  has  been  no  al  solute 
breakdown.  It  is  pretty  certain  that  nobody  but 
Mr.  Lloyd  George  would  have  had  the  courage  to 
attempt  the  fifth  of  what  he  actually  achieved,  and 
that  in  doing  so  he  sacrificed  much  of  his  prestige  with 
a  certain  "  democratic  "  section  to  which  he  had 
always  looked  for  support  must  be  counted  unto 
him  for  righteousness. 

With  Mr.  Lloyd  George's  departure  from  the 
Ministry  of  Munitions  the  first  period  of  his  war 
administration  may  be  said  to  end ;  his  tenure  of  the 
War  Office  was  featureless,  and  hardly  matters  in  a 
review  like  the  present.     We  now  approach  the  most 


MR.  LLOYD  GEORGE  23 

debatable  part  of  his  career — the  coup  d'etat  of  191 6. 
It  can  at  once  be  said  that  the  methods  employed  to 
displace  Mr.  Asquith  could  only  be  justified  on  one 
ground — that  of  pressing  national  necessity.  "  I 
can  save  the  country,  and  no  other  man  can,"  said 
the  elder  Pitt ;  and  that  is,  too,  Mr.  George's  apologia. 
Established  in  office,  he  certainly  showed  by  every 
action  that  he  possessed  illimitable  confidence  in  his 
power  to  bring  the  State  through  its  troubles.  He 
began  by  a  not  inconsiderable  constitutional  revolu- 
tion:  the  Cabinet  system  was  destroyed  at  a  blow; 
the  supreme  governing  power  was  put  in  the  hands  of 
a  knot  of  men  who  need  not  necessarily  be  members 
of  either  House  of  Parliament  or  even  citizens  of  the 
United  Kingdom.  "  Party  claims  "  could  not  be 
ignored  entirely,  but  men  of  "  push  and  go  "  from 
great  business  houses,  railways,  and  elsewhere  were 
recruited  for  the  Ministry.  New  departments  were 
created  with  a  lavish  hand.  The  control  of  food, 
travel,  and  other  necessities  of  life  was  vastly  extended . 
Immensely  increased  demands  were  made  on  the  man- 
hood of  the  country,  and  the  cost  of  the  war  and  the 
public  services  mounted  sharply.  An  enormous  but 
rather  undisciplined  energy  pervaded  the  administra- 
tion; there  was  bustle  enough;  whether  bustle  was 
always  business  was  not  so  clear. 

In  some  respects  the  new  Government  had  very  bad 
luck,  and  misfortunes  which  no  skill  could  have 
avoided  rendered  judgment  difficult  regarding  those 
which  derived  from  want  of  foresight  and  co-ordina- 
tion. The  Russian  revolution  destroyed  all  the  fair 
hopes  built  on  the  military  position  after  the  Battle 
of  the  Somme.  Unrestricted  submarine  warfare, 
while  bringing  in  an  ultimately  powerful  AII3-,  pro- 
duced also  an  immediate  situation  of  the  most  alarm- 
ing kind.     In  the  air,  as  at  sea,  we  were  on  the  defen- 


24  UNCEXSORED  CELEBRITIES 

sive,  and  on  land  small  and  transient  successes,  gained 
at  great  cost,  were  all  that  could  be  set  off  against 
a  great  disaster  like  Caporetto.  At  home  the  food 
troubles  grew  daily  more  insistent ;  and  Irish  difficulties 
were  accentuated.  On  the  whole,  however,  it  was 
plain  that  the  new  Government  had  certain  definite 
advantages  over  the  old.  It  was  more  united  as  to 
its  objective;  it  was  in  a  certain  sense  what  it  pro- 
claimed itself  to  be,  a  "  win-t he-war  "  Government. 
In  discarding  elements  wear}'  or  lukewarm,  it  had 
gained  in  momentum,  and  had  behind  it  the  energy 
of  a  people  with  new  hope.  On  the  other  hand, 
evidence  was  quickly  forthcoming  of  one  grave  fault, 
which  is  sufficiently  indicated  in  the  recurrent  cry 
for  better  "  co-ordination."  The  right  hand  of  the 
Administration  knew  too  little  what  the  left  hand  was 
doing  ;  and  the  head  seemed  to  know  even  less  concern- 
ing either  hand.  Ministers  were  set  up  with  an  hotel 
and  an  expensive  office  establishment  and  told  to  make 
themselves  busy,  with  such  results  as  were  revealed 
in  the  extreme  case  of  the  first  National  Service 
experiment .  Meanwhile  powerful  newspaper  interests 
which  had  favoured  the  dismissal  of  Mr.  Asquith 
attempted  to  dictate  policy  in  headlines,  and  all  these 
factors  combined  to  give  an  oddly  vacillating  char- 
acter to  administration.  Certain  great  things  were 
achieved;  the  food  troubles  were  met  with  success; 
and  the  signal  advantage  of  unity  of  command, 
pursued  by  somewhat  devious  means,  was  at  length 
attained.  But  undeniably  the  new  arrangements  did 
not  make  for  orderliness  or  economy  in  the  public 
service. 

The  character  of  the  Prime  Minister,  in  brief,  was 
reflected  in  the  character  of  his  Administration.  It 
cannot  be  a  rational  complaint  that  he  attacked  his 
work  in  the  only  way  compatible  with  his, tempera- 


MR.  LLOYD  GEORGE  25 

ment .  It  is  useless  to  expect  a  Michael  Angelo  to  have 
the  finish  of  a  Dutch  "  little  master,"  and  Mr.  Lloyd 
George's  fancy  is  all  for  the  "  grands  contours  du 
dessin  ";  he  recks  little  of  the  finishing  touches. 

He  has  a  quite  unusual  capacity  for  getting  to  the 
heart  of  any  matter  to  which  his  attention  is  specifi- 
cally directed ;  his  judgment  is  shrewd ;  his  courage 
high;  his  driving  power  remarkable.  But  the  very 
intensity  of  his  nature  forbids  calm  envisagement  of 
things  as  a  whole.  He  has  little  faculty  for  exercising 
a  general  command,  and  his  talent  for  discovering 
talent,  though  considerable,  is  not  always  allowed  full 
pla}r;  the  claims  of  private  partiality,  political  affinity, 
or  convenience  and  so  forth  are  often  given  undue 
weight.  Thus  he  is  often  badly  served,  does  not 
discover  the  fact  till  too  late,  and  too  often  fails  to 
correct  what  is  wrong  even  after  it  is  manifest.  Mr. 
Lloyd  George's  Minist^  is  like  an  orchestra  composed 
of  performers  of  very  unequal  merit,  under  a  conductor 
who  only  occasionally  troubles  to  conduct,  being 
engaged  in  writing  the  music,  looking  after  the  stage 
carpentry,  advertising  the  performance,  and  even 
selling  the  tickets.  It  is  not  quite  an  adequate 
compensation  that  the  conductor  himself  is  a  master 
on  many  instruments,  and  can  always  be  relied  on  to 
snatch  trombone  or  piccolo  from  a  pretender  and  show 
how  the  thing  should  be  done. 

Allowance  must  be  made,  however,  for  many 
difficulties,  from  which  his  predecessor  also  was  not 
exempt.  His  efforts  to  shake  himself  free  from  party 
have  not  been  wholly  successful ;  in  that  he  resembles 
the  man  who  finds  his  trouble  far  from  ended  by 
separation  from  a  troublesome  wife.  Of  some  of  his 
colleagues  one  might  repeat  the  French  wit's  dictum  on 
women  :  one  can't  live  with  them  and  can't  live  without 
them.     The   scheme   by   which   Mr.   George   was   to 


26  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 


supply  the  ideas  and  energy,  and  others  the  "  calm 
wisdom,"  was  perhaps  inherently  unworkable;  it  has 
not  in  fact  worked .  In  attending  to  the  only  interests 
about  which  the  public  cares,  Mr.  George  has  had 
to  keep  a  watchful  eye  on  interests  for  which  the 
public  cares  nothing,  but  the  management  of  which 
is  essential  to  the  maintenance  of  his  position.  He 
has  had  to  work  with  many  tools  he  would  not  have 
chosen,  and,  like  other  tailors,  has  had  to  cut  his  coat 
to  his  cloth. 

That  garment  is  still  in  the  stage  of  shreds,  thrums, 
and  chalk-marks ;  it  is  yet  too  early  to  say  what  will 
be  the  final  result.  In  the  language  of  a  discarded 
philosophy,  we  can  only  wait  and  see.  But  we  cannot 
honestly  withhold  admiration  from  much  we  have  seen, 
even  if  we  have  to  place  limits  to  our  worship .  And  we 
wait  in  a  spirit  of  increasing  hope,  tempered,  perhaps, 
with  some  little  concern  lest  at  a  critical  moment 
audacity  should  degenerate  into  recklessness  or  that 
the  instinct  which  dictated  the  right  course  in  1914 
should  falter  in  face  of  things  almost  as  vital  and  far 
more  complex. 


SIR  EDWARD  CARSON 

I  remember  well  the  afternoon  in  the  early  summer 
of  191 5  when  the  first  Coalition  Government  met  an 
anxious  and  rather  angry  House  of  Commons. 

While  discarded  Ministers  gloomed  at  them  from 
the  Speaker's  left  hand  the  members  of  Mr.  Asquith's 
new  team  made  a  brave  show  of  coalescing  in  public. 
Mr.  Long  exchanged  elaborate  civilities  with  Mr. 
Birrell.  Mr.  Bonar  Law,  with  something  of  the  self- 
consciousness  of  a  schoolboy  presented  to  the  squire 
at  a  prize-giving,  tried  to  be  at  ease  in  Zion  with  Mr. 
McKenna.  Mr.  Harcourt  showed  princely  urbanity 
to  some  understrapper  recruit. 

It  was  not  very  hopeful  or  convincing.  Yet  men 
did  hope.  They  thought  there  was  a  chance  for  the 
Government,  and  were  disposed  to  give  it  its  chance. 

And  then  something  happened  that  even  the  visitor 
in  the  Strangers'  Gallery  could  feel,  though  he  might 
find  it  mysterious.  A  tall,  gaunt  man  entered  behind 
the  Speaker's  chair,  and  perched  himself,  like  Poe's 
raven  on  the  bust  of  Pallas,  at  the  very  extremity  of 
the  Treasury  Bench.  A  very  ravenlike  personage, 
black,  aloof,  and  sinister.  He  spoke  to  none.  He 
listlessly  turned  over  the  pages  of  his  order  paper, 
yawned  with  the  easy  but  terrifying  grace  of  one  of 
the  higher  carnivora,  surveyed  the  House  with  super- 
cilious, heavy-lidded  eyes,  and  presently  went  out. 

It  was  nothing,  and  yet  everything.  The  coming 
of  Sir  Edward  Carson,  the  new  Attorney-General,  had 
cast  a  shade  which  his  departure  did  not  remove. 
For  the  sight  of  that  hatchet  face — the  profile  of  an 

27 


28  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

Indian  brave,  the  heavily  pomaded  black  hair  combed 
back  from  the  low  forehead,  the  dew-lapped  eyes,  the 
humourless,  scornful  mouth,  the  projecting  Habsburg- 
like  chin — reminded  all  but  a  few  how  slight  was  the 
chance  on  which  they  relied.  A  few  moments  ago 
the  political  equation  looked  hard,  indeed,  but  not 
insoluble.  But  here  was  the  intractable  surd  that 
was  bound  to  complicate  everything. 

It  is  just  this  difficultjr  at  arriving  at  the  square 
root  of  Sir  Edward  Carson  that  makes  him  so  interest- 
ing a  man  and  so  impossible  a  politician.  Trotsky  and 
his  like  are  hard  enough  to  understand.  Still,  they 
remain  Trotskys.  But  there  have  been  so  many 
Carsons.  First,  as  the  foundation  of  all  subsequent 
Carsons,  we  have  the  young  ex-Liberal  barrister  who, 
in  the  da}*s  of  "  resolute  government,"  entered  into 
the  dreary  task  of  repression  with  a  zealot's  gusto  that 
almost  dignified  it.  Then  come  some  years  of  high 
official  rank  and  emolument ;  Sir  Edward  Carson, 
English  Solicitor-General,  quietly  enjoys  the  reward 
of  strenuous  party  service.  With  the  Unionist  defeat 
of  1906  emerges  another  Carson,  for  we  can  almost  con- 
sider the  great  advocate  of  the  King's  Bench  in  his 
best  period  as  different  in  kind  as  well  as  degree  from 
all  earlier  Carsons.  It  was  not  until  this  time  that 
he  showed  all  his  gifts  at  their  fullest — unmatched 
dexterity  in  cross-examination,  masterful  logic,  cor- 
roding satire,  a  deadly  suavity,  wonderful  skill  in 
suggestion. 

Then  suddenly  the  briefs  are  shot  back  at  the  attor- 
neys; Sir  Edward  will  not  come  into  court  at  any 
figure ;  he  has  greater  work  on  hand  :  there  is  an  Ulster 
Government  to  be  formed,  an  Ulster  Army  to  be 
raised  and  drilled,  guns  to  be  "  run,"  laws  to  be  broken. 
Once,  indeed,  the  great  man  relented  and  put  on  his 
wig — to   represent   a   member   of  that   Government 


SIR  EDWARD  CARSON  29 

which  he  was  defying  and  denouncing.  On  the 
strength  of  such  piquant  incidents  in  the  life  of 
a  Frondist,  there  are  those  who  hold  that  all  that 
complicated  business  of  the  Ulster  Force  and  the 
Provisional  Government  was  a  gigantic  bluff.  Who 
knows  ?  True,  it  is  not  usual  for  a  real  rebel  to  have 
a  house  in  Eaton  Place  and  a  week-end  cottage  at 
Rottingdean,  to  insist  on  a  fire  in  his  bathroom,  and 
to  remain  "  the  most  popular  man  in  the  House  of 
Commons  "  by  virtue  of  his  social  gifts.  But  nature 
is  rich,  and  one  anomaly  the  more  means  little  to  her. 

Perhaps  it  is  better  frankly  to  give  up  as  hopeless 
the  attempt  to  discover  what  Sir  Edward  Carson 
really  is,  and  devote  ourselves  to  the  simpler  problem 
of  defining  what  he  is  not.  We  now  know  that  he  is 
not  a  statesman.  He  is  as  little  a  statesman  as  Sir 
Frederick  Smith.  The  rather  vague  hopes  built  on 
the  fact  that  he  could  speak  well  (if  rather  confusedly), 
that  he  was  rich,  and  that  he  was  excessively  pug- 
nacious, are  now  seen  to  have  been  entirely  fallacious. 
Sir  Edward  Carson  has  been  many  things.  He  was 
an  excellent  tomahawk  in  the  hands  of  others.  He 
has  shown,  like  Parnell  and  Lenin,  a  certain  power  of 
destructive  organization.  He  has  even  filled  routine 
posts  with  fair  credit.  But  of  the  higher  statesman- 
ship of  creation,  or  even  the  lower  statesmanship  of 
imaginative  administration,  he  has  indicated  no  trace. 
His  mind  is,  indeed,  only  strong  on  the  negative  side. 
Even  in  advocacy  he  always  relied  rather  on  breaking 
an  adversary's  case  than  on  developing  his  own. 
"  My  lord,  I  must  object,"  is  his  attitude  to  everything. 
He  objects  to  Prussia,  as  he  did  to  Home  Rule.  But 
he  has  no  positive  formula  with  which  to  confront 
Prussianism,  any  more  than  he  had  a  positive  pro- 
gramme to  confront  Home  Rulers. 

Indeed,  it  would  be  hard  for  him  to  evolve  one,  for 


30  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

he  is  himself  not  a  little  touched  with  the  infertile 
spirit  of  Prussia.  So  personally  amiable  a  man  could 
not,  of  course,  have  anything  but  loathing  for  the 
grosser  abominations  of  Potsdam.  He  has  none  of 
the  Junker's  blood-lust,  and  none  of  his  griping  avarice. 
But  he  is  cursed  with  not  a  little  of  the  Prussian 
sterility.  His  mind  has  the  harshness  of  the  East 
wind  of  the  Baltic  flats  and  the  gritty  unfriendliness 
of  the  soil  of  Mecklenburg.  It  is  destitute  of  sym- 
pathy, of  insight,  of  flexibilit}^.  His  head  is  hard,  with 
the  hardness  of  iron-wood,  which  is  still  wood. 

Within  its  narrow  limits  the  Carson  intellect  is  as 
keen  as  the  razor-like  Carson  face.  But  nothing  will 
grow  on  a  razor  except  the  rust  that  spoils  it.  Even 
in  his  own  profession  Sir  Edward  Carson  has  produced 
little  but  verdicts  and. vast  fees.  He  does  not  belong 
to  the  Mansfields  and  Eldons.  No  eager  student  at 
the  Temple  will  ever  turn  to  him  for  illuminating 
exposition  of  that  enormous  legend  of  the  law.  Only 
those  who  aim  to  be  masters  of  the  art  of  browbeating 
will  study  with  emulous  admiration  the  classics  of 
cross-examination  which  lie  to  his  credit. 

In  some  respects  the  Prussian  has  an  advantage 
over  Sir  Edward.  He,  at  least,  knows  Europe,  though 
with  the  lower  knowledge  of  hate;  Sir  Edward  does 
not  even  know  England,  perhaps  not  Ireland.  The 
Prussian  has  some  wooden  sense  of  construction, 
though  we  may  chiefly  pray  to  be  saved  from  what 
he  builds:  Sir  Edward  Carson  has  only  made  name 
and  fame  as  a  critic  or  a  destroyer.  The  Prussian  aims 
at  a  soulless  kind  of  S3^mmetry :  Sir  Edward  strives  for 
the  perpetuation  of  the  amorphous.  He  is  rightly 
insistent  on  the  satisfaction  of  the  French  claim  for 
Alsace-Lorraine.  Yet  his  attitude  to  the  Irish  of  his 
own  native  Dublin  is  that  of  the  Prussian  garrison 
in  Alsace.      He  regards  them  with  the  stiff  Prussian 


SIR  EDWARD  CARSON  31 

intolerance    for    a    happier    and    perhaps    healthier 
race. 

The  whole  truth  about  the   Ulster  intrigues  will 
probably  not  emerge  in  our  lifetimes.     Whether  the 
fanatic  or  the  party  man  was  uppermost  when  Sir 
Edward  Carson  blessed  the  Covenant  of  contingent 
rebellion  in  the   presence  of   the    Ulster  lords    and 
Galloper  Smith — this  we  do  not  and  cannot  know. 
But  we  do  know  now — Mr.  Gerard  has  made  it  clear — 
that  Potsdam  betted  heavily  on  Carsonism.     Potsdam 
may  have  been  wrong.     But  some  part  of  the  readiness 
with  which  Germany  accepted  a  great  risk  was  un- 
doubtedly due  to  the  conviction  that  the  schism  was  real 
and  serious,  that  it  affected  the  discipline  of  the  British 
Army,  and  would  probably  paralyze  British  diplomacy. 
In  the  general  truce  and  amnesty  of  19 14  these 
things  were  more  or  less  forgotten  in  England.     Un- 
happily they  could  not  be  forgotten  in  Ireland.     When 
the  Coalition  of  191 5  was  formed,  Mr.  Redmond  stood 
out ;  Sir  Edward  Carson  came  in ;  and  with  his  entry, 
conveying  the  implication  that  Home  Rule  was  dead, 
went  the  last  hope  of  maintaining  Irish  unity,  already 
impaired  by  War  Office  mistakes.     The  only  apparent 
explanation  of  this  great  political   blunder  was  that 
"  Ulster's  strong  man  "   would   be  safer  inside  the 
Cabinet  than  out.     But  Mr.  Asquith  lost  Ireland  with- 
out even  gaining  Sir  Edward  Carson.     In  a  few  months 
he  flung  out  of  the  Cabinet  in  a  pet,  and  became  the 
centre  of  a  new  set  of  disintegrating  intrigues. 

His  reputation  gained  enormously  by  a  dramatic 
revolt  against  supposed  incompetence,  and  there  were 
millions  who  hailed  him  as  chief  Sandow  when  Mr. 
Lloyd  George  formed  his  Cabinet  of  strong  and  silent 
men.  But  Sir  Edward  Carson  was  fated  not  to  satisfy 
these  expectations.  That  force  of  character  which 
had  prevailed  against  the   British  Cabinet  and  the 


32  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

Irish  Government  was  powerless  against  the  German 
submarine  and  the  Admiralty  "  dug-out."  It  was 
understood  that  the  Carson  broom  was  to  make  a 
clean  sweep  of  all  the  cobwebs  which  had  collected 
under  Mr.  Balfour's  gentle  sway.  It  may  have  been 
all  a  myth ;  there  may  have  been  no  cobwebs.  In  any 
case  Sir  Edward  Carson's  advent  made  no  perceptible 
difference.  He  announced  betimes  that  he  knew 
nothing  of  naval  affairs  and  should  be  guided  in  all 
things  by  his  advisers ;  that  pledge  he  seems  to  have 
fulfilled  to  the  letter.  Before,  however,  he  had  well 
settled  down  the  Prime  Minister  decided  on  placing 
Sir  Eric  Geddes,  the  ex-railway  manager,  in  his  place, 
and  it  was  announced  that  Sir  Edward  Carson's  calm 
wisdom  would  now  be  unrestrictedly  at  the  disposal 
of  the  War  Cabinet. 

Shortly  it  appeared  exactly  how  the  calm  wisdom 
was  to  be  employed.  Propaganda,  it  seemed,  was 
needed  to  bring  home  to  the  British  masses  the  justice 
of  the  cause  for  which  this  country  had  been  fighting 
for  over  three  years.  It  had  to  be  explained  that  our 
sword  was  drawn  in  the  interests  of  small  nationalities, 
for  the  vindication  of  public  law,  and  for  the  further- 
ance of  democratic  ideals.  It  might  be  thought  that 
this  quite  measurable  task  could  have  been  entrusted 
to  a  statesman  of  less  questionable  eminence — one  who 
had  never  employed  a  private  commander-in-chief, 
landed  guns  for  contingent  rebellion,  or  obtained  con- 
ditional promises  from  "  some  of  the  greatest  generals 
in  the  Army."  Yet  Sir  Edward  Carson  was  chosen 
to  convince  the  British  Pacifist  of  his  errors.  It  was 
a  grim  and  costly  jest  on  Mr.  Asquith's  part  to  en- 
trust him,  as  Attorney-General,  with  the  guardian- 
ship of  laws  he  had  boasted  of  breaking.  It  was  an 
even  subtler  pleasantry  to  make  him  the  chief  director 
of  our  spiritual  munition  department. 


SIR  EDWARD  CARSON  33 

Sir  Edward  Carson  is  troubled,  however,  with  no 
inconvenient  sense  of  humour,  and  stolidly  carried 
out  his  duties  despite  the  toning  down  of  his  "  Talk 
to  me  of  a  League  of  Nations  "  speech,  and  other 
rather  embarrassing  outbursts.  But  the  re-emergence 
of  the  Irish  question  at  last  brought  matters  to  a  head. 
It  became  plain  that  Sir  Edward  could  no  longer  serve 
the  King  and  "  Ulster  "  at  one  and  the  same  time. 
He  chose  Ulster,  and  resigned  for  the  second  time  in 
three  years.  It  might  have  been  thought  that  at 
last  his  mind  was  made  up  to  confine  himself  to  Irish 
affairs.  But  his  political  ambitions,  despite  the  con- 
tempt he  always  expresses  for  politics,  are  believed 
to  be  too  importunate  for  comfort  in  the  cold  shades. 
There  is  already  talk  of  new  combinations.  It  is 
suggested  that  Sir  Edward  is  more  than  a  little  in- 
terested in  the  so-called  "  National  "  Party,  chiefly 
consisting  of  dissatisfied  Unionists.  But  it  may 
well  be  questioned  whether  this  singular  man,  the 
strangest  fanatic  the  present  generation  has  seen,  will 
ever  lead  any  considerable  body  of  Englishmen. 

For  Sir  Edward  Carson  has  no  quality  that  appeals 
to  the  English  except  his  undoubted  courage.  His 
solemn  rants  are  not  understood  by  a  people  prone  to 
under-expression  of  their  deeper  feelings.  Even  in 
1 914  his  heroics,  like  the  speeches  of  the  German 
Emperor,  savoured  faintly  of  ridicule.  Now  they 
seem  quite  unpleasantly  out  of  harmony  with  the 
general  mood.  Mere  verbal  intemperance,  however, 
is  often  treated  by  the  English  with  strange  tolerance. 
It  is  levity  in  action  which  arouses  the  deep  and  lasting 
distrust  of  the  masses  in  this  country.  Lord  Randolph 
Churchill  was  considered  to  have  stuff  in  him  until 
he  resigned;  after  that,  though  he  often  talked  more 
wisely  than  before,  he  had  no  audience. 

Sir  Edward  Carson  lost  any  popular  following  he 

3 


34  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

might  have  had  in  Great  Britain  when  his  second 
resignation  was  published.  What  hold  he  may  retain 
on  individual  Unionist  statesmen  is  less  easy  to  deter- 
mine ;  it  is  whispered  that  nobody  is  precisely  anxious 
to  co-operate  with  him  again.  But  Irish  miseries 
acquaint  politicians  with  strange  bedfellows,  and 
while  it  is  impossible  to  get  on  with  Sir  Edward  it  may 
well  prove  equally  impossible  to  get  on  without  him. 


MR.  ASQUITH 

There  are  certain  things  that  England  does  very 
well,  and  Mr.  Asquith  is  one  of  them.  One  may 
quarrel  with  the  stuff  and  the  fashion;  but  given 
material  and  mode  of  treatment,  malice  itself  cannot 
deny  that  the  product  in  its  own  way  is  very  perfect. 

If  one  had  to  express  this  eminent  man  in  terms  of 
chemistry,  the  chief  s3^mbols  would  stand  for  his 
native  Yorkshire  town  and  for  Balliol  and  its  famous 
master,  that  rather  cynical  instructor  of  budding 
statesmen,  Dr.  Jowett.  Mr.  Asquith  may  be  called 
the  Jowettate  of  Middleclassdom.  The  base  of  the 
compound  is  of  course  his  own  sterling  English  intel- 
ligence, weighty  and  acute,  but  rather  prosaic;  but 
its  character  has  been  profoundly  modified  by  the 
culture  of  Oxford. 

Herbert  Henry  Asquith  was  born  in  1852  at  Morley, 
and  almost  his  earliest  recollection  is  of  walking  as  a 
Sunday-school  child  in  a  local  procession  to  celebrate 
the  Crimean  peace.  Morley  is  one  of  those  smaller 
towns  of  the  West  Riding  which,  while  closely  con- 
nected with  the  great  seats  of  the  staple  industries, 
remain  free  from  the  cosmopolitan  atmosphere  of 
Leeds  and  Bradford,  and  conserve  a  strongly  de- 
veloped local  consciousness.  A  town  of  little  gra- 
ciousness  of  aspect,  rather  overweighted  architectur- 
ally with  Nonconformist  chapels,  it  is  hardly  a  spot 
to  which  the  weary  man  of  the  world,  qui  mores 
hominum  multorum  vidit  et  urbes,  returns  lovingly  in 
his  old  age.  But  there  are  many  worse  places  a 
clever   and   ambitious   youth   of  the   middling   class 

35 


36      UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

might  choose  to  be  born  in.  The  village  and  the 
country  town  tend  to  stagnation;  in  great  centres 
youth  is  apt  to  be  stunned  by  the  vastness  of  every- 
thing :  the  seeming  futility  of  a  duel  between  the  im- 
mature individual  and  his  environment  has  no  doubt 
crushed  many  a  young  Londoner  of  good  natural 
parts.  A  place  like  Morley,  itself  quite  measurable, 
but  in  no  sense  shut  in,  was  capable  at  once  of  dis- 
satisfying and  stimulating.  There  was  little  to  en- 
courage passivity  where  the  horizon  was  the  chief 
interest.  Of  Morley,  with  its  breadth  and  narrow- 
ness, its  hard  common-sense  and  rather  raw  material- 
ism, there  is  still  a  good  deal  in  Mr.  Asquith.  With 
all  his  culture  there  remains  much  of  the  middle-class 
mind,  with  its  good  and  its  not  so  good.  Despite  an 
excellent  acquaintance  with  literature,  and  a  generally 
good  taste  therein,  he  is  in  many  matters  something 
of  a  Philistine.  He  belongs  distinctly  to  the  Vic- 
torians, and  would  be  wholly  at  home  in  Gath  and 
Askelon.  In  political  tendencies  as  in  literary  tastes 
he  is  old-fashioned .  Fate  has  mixed  him  up  with  the 
social  reformers,  but  his  heart  has  never  been  with 
them;  it  beats  constant  to  Stuart  Mill.  Perhaps 
here  again  Morley  helps;  the  statesman  remembers 
certain  realities  noted  by  the  middle-class  youth; 
and  that  recollection  forbids  any  illusion  as  to  the 
sudden  perfectibility  of  the  working  masses,  or,  for 
that  matter,  of  their  masters.  Mr.  Asquith  is  no 
democrat.  But  he  is  very  sincerely  a  Liberal  of  the 
old  individualist  philosophy,  and  therefore  a  real 
and  sane  thing,  if  a  limited  one.  His  Nonconformist 
ancestry  is  little  visible  in  externals;  no  man  likes 
better  the  theatre,  cards,  the  chatter  of  attractive 
women,  or  the  consolations  of  good  fiction.  But  there 
is  nevertheless  in  the  grain  of  him  a  good  deal  of  the 
Puritan,  old  and  new;  the  old  came  out  in  his  obstinate 


MR.  ASQUITH  87 


duel  with  the  Peerage,  the  new  (more  soft-hearted 
and  less  hard-headed)  was  shown  in  his  incapacity 
to  understand  the  real  Prussia. 

It  is  tempting  to  speculate  how  the  mind  and  char- 
acter of  Mr.  Asquith  would  have  reacted  to  circum- 
stances such  as  those  of  Mr.  Lloj^d  George's  boyhood. 
Would  they  have  mellowed  or  embittered,  widened  or 
narrowed,  made  him  more  or  less  human  ?  How 
much  has  Mr.  Asquith  or  the  British  world  gained  or 
lost  by  the  circumstance  that  life  was  made  smooth, 
but  not  too  smooth,  for  him?  "  I  can't  have  your 
advantages,  and  you  can't  have  mine,"  wrote  the 
self-made  American  to  his  son.  "  One  man  learns 
the  value  of  truth  by  going  to  Sunday  School  and 
another  by  doing  business  with  liars.  One  man  is 
sober  because  he  had  a  good  mother,  and  another 
because  his  father  drank  the  boots  off  his  feet." 
If  Mr.  Asquith  was  destitute  of  Mr.  Lloyd  George's 
peculiar  educational  advantages  he  enjoyed  many  of 
a  different  kind,  and  made  the  most  of  them.  At  the 
City  of  London  School  he  captured  all  the  prizes;  at 
Oxford  he  became  President  of  the  Union,  took  the 
highest  degrees,  carried  off  the  Craven  Scholarship, 
made  the  right  kind  of  friends.  Jowett  was  rightly 
proud  of  him.  "  Asquith  is  the  one  pupil  of  mine," 
he  said,  "  for  whom  I  can  most  confidently  predict 
success  in  life."  "  Asquith  will  get  on,"  he  said,  on 
another  occasion,  "  he  is  so  direct."  Jowettery  was 
the  philosophy  of  getting  on  in  its  most  dignified 
guise,  a  sublimated  opportunism,  in  which  worship 
of  the  main  chance  was  robbed  of  its  grossness  and 
made  a  fit  faith  for  a  scholar  and  a  gentleman. 

Jowett  was  justified  of  his  spiritual  child.  Young 
Asquith  did  get  on,  and  by  "  direct  "  means.  Apart 
from  the  paternal  means  which  assured  him  a  first- 
rate  education,   no   man   of  our  time   owes   less   to 


38  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

external  help  or  more  to  his  own  abilities.  The  Bar, 
with  Westminster  in  the  offing,  naturally  attracted 
him.  At  a  very  early  age  he  had  confided  to  a  friend 
his  ambition — either  to  be  Lord  Chancellor  or  Prime 
Minister — and  the  Bar  was  his  only  road  to  the  Wool- 
sack or  the  Treasury.  The  capacity  of  getting  at 
facts  and  stating  them  with  the  utmost  lucidity  was 
Mr.  Asquith's  from  boyhood.  Certain  pleadings, 
drawn  by  an  unknown  junior,  attracted  the  attention 
of  a  great  lawyer  by  their  grasp  and  clearness;  and 
from  that  moment  the  professional  success  of  the 
young  aspirant  was  assured.  A  wider  reputation 
was  achieved  by  his  appearance  before  the  Parnell 
Commission ;  and  this  had  hardly  been  confirmed 
before  Mr.  Gladstone,  struck  by  the  quality  of  his 
first  Parliamentary  speech,  offered  him  the  great  post 
of  Home  Secretary.  There  were  many  who  saw 
rashness  in  the  experiment ;  but  such  doubts  could 
not  long  survive;  in  his  first  official  job  Mr.  Asquith 
acquitted  himself  as  if  years  of  experience  were 
behind  him;  he  spoke  like  a  wise  old  man  and  acted 
like  a  young  and  courageous  one.  Yet,  despite  this 
precocious  success,  he  hardly  impressed  his  contem- 
poraries as  a  future  Prime  Minister.  It  was  not  then 
quite  so  emphatically  as  now  the  day  of  the  lawyer- 
politician  ;  the  Woolsack  rather  than  Downing  Street 
was  the  normal  goal  of  a  barrister  M.P.  To  people 
soaked  in  the  Gladstonian  tradition,  too,  the  coldness 
of  Mr.  Asquith's  temperament,  reflected  in  a  most 
austere  diction,  seemed  to  disqualify  him  for  a  party 
leader.  The  hardness  of  youth  has  since  been  some- 
what toned  down ;  advancing  years  have  given  rather 
more  warmth  and  humanity  to  Mr.  Asquith's  periods. 
But  his  then  st}de  of  speaking,  though  of  great  merit, 
was  somewhat  too  bare  and  bloodless  to  delight  a 
generation  accustomed  to  the  Victorian  grand  manner. 


MR.  ASQUITH  39 


A  better  description  could  not  be  than  that  of  Mr. 
Asquith's  present  wife  when  she  was  still  Miss  Tennant 
and  a  comparative  stranger:  "  He  has  a  very  good 
voice  and  the  rare  qualities  that  make  a  great  speaker 
— imagination,  restraint,  brevity,  and  Voreille  juste. 
He  does  not  strain  the  attention  by  discursive 
parentheses,  and  is  neither  too  precious,  too  pedantic, 
nor  too  prepared  to  be  listened  to  with  confidence 
and  pleasure." 

Higher  praise  in  its  kind  could  not  be  given ;  but 
this  style  of  speaking  was  hardly  even  caviare  to  the 
select  of  those  days.  But  there  was  probably  a 
deeper  reason  for  the  failure  to  recognize  in  the  young 
Home  Secretary  something  more  than  the  ordinary 
careerist  lawyer.  Mr.  Asquith  has  at  no  time  given 
the  impression  of  all  that  is  in  him.  He  does  not 
advertise.  He  has  never  cultivated  the  Press.  He 
has  made  no  obeisance  to  the  mob,  even  to  the  mob 
called  society.  He  disdains  all  kinds  of  display,  and 
habitually  understates  his  personality.  Moreover, 
he  exercises  a  curious  economy  of  effort,  almost 
amounting  to  miserliness.  There  are  some  statesmen 
who  give  the  impression  of  being  indefinably  above 
their  best  in  performance;  there  are  others  who 
occasion  a  constant  surprise,  not  that  they  fail  to 
acquit  themselves  well,  but  that  they  are  able  to 
carry  out  their  functions  at  all.  Mr.  Balfour  is  the 
great  living  representative  of  the  former  type.  A 
net  cast  at  random  anywhere  in  Whitehall  would 
secure  a  specimen  of  the  latter.  Mr.  Asquith  occupies 
an  almost  unique  position  between  these  extremes. 
He  has  never,  like  Mr.  Balfour,  suggested  a  vague  and 
even  disappointing  superiority,  making  one  feel  that 
the  result  is  less  than  it  ought  to  be:  he  generally 
appears  adequate,  and  a  little  more,  to  the  particular 
task  in  hand,  while  somehow  failing  to  give  the  idea 


40  UXCEXSOIiED  CELEBRITIES 

of  supreme  power.  One  might  summarize  by  saying 
that  he  has  strength  without  mystery.  He  shows 
an  easy  mastery,  an  almost  careless  competence, 
as  that  of  an  express  locomotive  which  always  has  a 
little  "  in  hand  "  even  on  its  fastest  run.  Its  steady 
mechanical  puff  contrasts  with  the  laboured  panting 
of  some  little  shunting  engine;  it  does  its  regular 
fifty  miles  an  hour,  rises  now  and  again  to  sevent}^, 
and  might  do  a  hundred  for  all  one  knows.  But  there 
is  no  witchery  in  the  business,  except  perhaps  to  a 
savage;  indeed,  it  is  rather  the  other  way:  the  splen- 
dour of  the  performance  is  obscured  by  its  very  ease 

Thus  it  was  that,  even  in  his  Liberal  Imperialist 
days,  Mr.  Asquith  was  counted  second  to  a  brilliant 
trifler  like  Lord  Rosebery;  that  it  was  considered 
quite  natural  that  he  should  serve  under  a  mediocrity 
like  Sir  Henry  Campbell-Bannerman ;  and  rather 
unnatural  that  on  the  death  of  the  latter  King  Edward 
should  send  for  him  as  the  only  obvious  Prime 
Minister.  Mr.  Lloyd  George  and  Mr.  Churchill  were 
far  more  in  the  public  eye;  Mr.  Haldane  had  achieved 
a  success  apparently  as  solid  and  rather  more 
picturesque;  Sir  Edward  Grey  enjoyed  a  perhaps 
larger  prestige. 

As  Chancellor  of  the  Exchequer — after  all  only  his 
second  official  post — Mr.  Asquith  had  shown  himself 
competent,  but  hardly  inspired;  the  merit  of  Old  Age 
Pensions,  which  he  had  provided  for,  was  claimed 
by  others ;  and  the  memory  of  the  services  he  had 
rendered  to  the  Liberal  Party  by  his  great  speeches 
in  the  Tariff  controversy  seemed  scarcely  more  recent 
to  the  Radical  stalwarts  than  the  (to  them)  less 
fragrant  recollections  of  his  "  Tabernacle  "  and 
"  Clean  Slate  "  days.  The  Liberal  Part}'-  had  had 
one  bitter  experience  of  a  leader  out  of  touch  with  the 
rank-and-file  of  the  party ;  there  were  very  many  who 


MR.  ASQUITH  41 


believed  Mr.  Asquith  would  prove  as  disastrous  a 
liability  as  Lord  Rosebery.  A  year  or  two  later  the 
same  men  were  comparing  him,  with  good  intentions 
but  real  unkindness,  to  Cromwell,  in  their  laudation 
of  his  victory  over  the  House  of  Lords. 

On  the  merits  of  that  great  conflict  nothing  need  be 
said.  But  as  a  mere  exhibition  of  tenacity,  tactical 
skill,  and  patient  courage  the  fight  that  followed  the 
Lords'  rejection  of  the  Budget  of  1909  was  remarkable. 
Mr.  Asquith  not  only  inflicted  defeat ;  he  made 
recovery  impossible.  He  was,  of  course,  helped  by 
the  mistakes  of  the  enemy;  Lord  Lansdowne  might 
explain  away  his  final  surrender  as  a  submission  to 
force  majeure,  but  he  had  already  given  away  the 
moral  case  by  his  own  Reform  proposals.  The  House 
of  Lords  emerged  from  the  struggle  not  only  worsted, 
but  a  self-confessed  anachronism,  an  admittedly 
class  institution,  composed  for  the  most  part  of  men 
whom  its  leader  had  deliberately  described  as  unfit 
to  discharge  the  functions  of  a  Second  Chamber.  It 
had,  moreover,  been  placed  in  the  invidious  position 
of  at  least  seeming  to  prefer  the  trumpery  of  titles, 
dignities,  ribands,  and  social  prestige  to  real  power 
and  dignity  in  the  State.  Nor  was  it  the  least  bitter 
part  of  the  whole  business  that  in  the  long  conflict 
moderation,  restraint,  and  legalistic  propriety  were 
on  the  side  of  the  Prime  Minister,  while  revolutionary 
froth,  violence,  and  lawlessness  were  the  badge  of  the 
defenders  of  privilege. 

The  conduct  of  this  campaign  established  Mr. 
Asquith 's  reputation  as  a  great  master  of  Parlia- 
mentary craft.  The  sequel  was  to  reveal  his  weaker 
side.  The  Unionist  leaders,  manoeuvred  into  a  false 
position,  twice  defeated  at  the  polls,  faced  with  schism 
over  the  belated  submission  to  threats  of  a  swamping 
creation  of  peers,  played   their  last  desperate  card. 


42      UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

They  produced  from  their  sleeves  the  Ulster  trump, 
the  Knave  of  anarchy,  and  Mr.  Asquith  would  not  or 
could  play  the  King  of  lawful  authority.  He  decided 
only  to  wait  and  see,  and  did  actually  see  at  the  last 
what  he  should  have  foreseen  from  the  first.  The 
reputation  which  had  been  impaired  by  a  practical 
breakdown  of  government  in  the  spring  and  summer 
of  1 9 14  was  partially  restored  during  the  first  months 
of  the  war.  Mr.  Asquith  then  emerged,  if  not  as  a 
great  war  Minister,  at  least  as  the  splendid  spokesman 
of  the  nation.  He  is  often  sneered  at  as  a  mere 
lawyer.  But  it  was  the  lawyer's  horror  of  Prussian 
lawlessness  that  moved  the  man  so  tremendously  as 
to  give  his  earlier  war  speeches  the  moral  fervour  of 
a  crusade  as  well  as  the  balance  and  precision  of  a 
statesman.  Mr.  Asquith 's  words  at  this  time  were  of 
almost  incalculable  worth  to  the  Allies  in  a  world 
still  largely  neutral,  by  no  means  unfriendly  to  Ger- 
many on  general  grounds,  and  keenly  critical  of  all 
kinds  of  pretensions.  A  mishandling  of  our  case 
might  have  had  the  gravest  effects;  it  was,  in  fact, 
handled  with  supreme  skill. 

Administration  was  also  characterized  by  great 
energy  and  judgment.  With  marvellous  smooth- 
ness, considering  the  tremendous  blow  delivered  to 
the  habits  and  prepossessions  of  centuries,  the  transi- 
tion was  made  from  a  state  of  profound  peace  to 
a  state  of  war  on  every  ocean  and  in  almost  every 
continent.  Mr.  Asquith  has  been  assailed  both  for 
our  unpreparedness  for  war,  and  for  the  delay  with 
which,  after  the  actual  declaration,  our  latent 
resources  were  made  available.  The  fuller  knowledge 
of  another  generation  will  probably  render  an  entirely 
different  verdict.  It  will  lay  stress  on  the  speed  with 
which  moderate  existing  means  were  mobilized,  on 
the  astonishing  efficiency  of  their  employment,  and 


MR.  ASQUITH  48 


on  the  wide  scope  and  vigorous  nature  of  the  measures 
taken  for  the  ultimate  increase  of  Great  Britain's 
contribution.  Whether  this  enormous  energy  could 
in  any  case  have  been  maintained  is  a  question  that 
cannot  be  resolved.  It  is  scarcely  doubtful  that  it 
was  not  maintained.  The  formation  of  the  First 
Coalition  Government  may  have  proceeded  from  Mr. 
Asquith's  conviction  that  new  blood  was  necessary, 
or  it  may  have  been  forced  on  him  by  quite  different 
considerations ;  but  in  any  case  the  fall  of  the  Liberal 
Administration  was  a  practical  confession  of  failure 
somewhere  or  somehow. 

In  some  respects  the  record  of  the  reconstructed 
Government  was  even  more  melancholy  than  that  of 
its  predecessor.  For  rapidly  multiplying  resources 
were  more  than  nullified  by  multiplying  reverses  and 
misfortunes.  The  gloomy  years  191 5  and  19 16  could 
show  little  to  the  credit  of  an  account  which  displayed 
on  its  debit  side  the  disappointments  of  Gallipoli  and 
Mesopotamia,  the  great  and  immediately  unfruitful 
expenditure  of  life  on  the  Western  front,  the  Russian 
reverses,  the  overrunning  of  Serbia  and  Rumania, 
the  losses  by  submarine,  the  unchecked  aerial  in- 
vasions, and  the  Irish  rebellion.  How  far  Mr. 
Asquith,  as  head  of  the  Administration,  could  be 
justly  held  responsible  for  military  and  diplomatic 
failures  is  a  question  not  to  be  lightly  answered ; 
while  it  would  be  unjust  to  ignore  the  skill  with  which 
he  reconciled  the  nation  to  conscription  and  Labour 
to  the  modification  of  trade  union  practice.  But, 
when  every  allowance  is  made,  both  for  the  inherent 
difficulties  of  the  exterior  situation  and  for  constant 
Cabinet  and  Parliamentary  intrigues  which  embar- 
rassed and  finally  overthrew  him,  it  may  well  be  that 
there  will  remain  something  unrebutted  in  the 
general  indictment  of  Mr.  Asquith  as  a  war  minister. 


44  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

Indeed,   there  are  features   of  his   character  and 
general  habit   of  mind  which  would  largely  explain 
such  failure.     Though  he  prefers  to  give  the  world  an 
impression  of  coldness,  he  is  really  a  most  kindly  man, 
in  whom  loyalty  to  friends  and  the  desire  to  "  get  on  " 
are  dangerously  prone  to  affect  judgment.     Macaulay 
has  remarked  that  the  worst  of  all  rulers  is  he  who 
puts  the  feelings  of  those  he  sees  daily  before  the 
interests  of  the  millions  he  will  never  see  and  who 
will  sacrifice  a  distant  province  in  order  to  be  sur- 
rounded by  smiling  faces.     Mr.  Asquith,  who  has  been 
described  as  "  the  comrade  rather  than  the   chief  " 
of  his  fellow-Ministers,  would  no  doubt  not  consciously 
neglect  a  public  duty  on  account  of  a  private  partiality. 
But    in    fact   his    policy    often   suffered    because    it 
pained  him  to  throw  over  a  friend  or  irked  him  to 
put  his  foot  down  on  a  rebel.     It  was  so  in  peace, 
and    it    has    been    so    in    war.     A   wise    regard    for 
"  national  unity  "  has,  it  may  be  suspected,  some- 
times  been   reinforced   by  disinclination   to   be   dis- 
agreeable.    Moreover,  he  is  an  easy  man  in  another 
sense.     The  word  "  indolent"  might  be  more  accur- 
ately used  but  for  the  fact  that  it  is  so  little  under- 
stood how  much  of  the  best  work  of  the  world  is  done 
by  indolent  people.     Mr.  Asquith  possesses  immense 
reserves  of  mental  energy,  but,  like  many  millionaires, 
he  likes  to  keep  a  large  balance  and  has  an  objection 
to  drawing  cheques.     He  can  get  through  the  work 
of  half  a  dozen  men  when  pressed,  but  he  prefers  to 
economize  effort  when  possible.     This  tendency  has 
been  the  main  cause  of  the  many  embarrassments  in 
which  he  has  been  involved.     Again  and  again,  before 
the  war,  it  looked  as  if  the  Government  must  fall, 
when  Mr.  Asquith  has  put  matters  right  by  a  master- 
piece of  legerdemain.     But  this  very  skill  in  saving 
desperate  situations,  and  loosing  the  most  fearsome 


MR.  ASQUITH  45 


tangle  "  familiar  as  his  garter,"  only  proves  the 
existence  of  a  weakness.  The  finest  driver  may  be 
unfortunate  sometimes,  and  when  an  accident  happens 
to  his  team  it  goes  to  his  credit  that  he  has  made  the 
best  of  a  bad  job.  But  the  man  whose  horses  are 
always  going  down  on  their  knees  will  not  be  chosen 
as  a  Roj^al  whip,  though  he  possesses  a  very  genius 
for  getting  them  on  their  legs  again  without  serious 
damage.  The  plain  man  takes  the  view  that  the  best 
coachman  is  he  who  needs  such  dexterity  least.  Mr. 
Asquith  showed  great  resource,  for  example,  in  dealing 
with  the  miserable  Curragh  affair.  A  less  dexterous 
Minister  would  have  been  ruined.  But  many  Ministers 
of  quite  moderate  capacity  would  have  avoided  the 
trouble  altogether. 

This  lack  of  vigilance  is  partly,  no  doubt,  due  to  the 
lawyer's  habit  of  leaving  things  till  they  arise.  It  is 
the  only  way  for  a  barrister  in  large  practice.  The 
advocate  who  has  to  prosecute  a  forger  on  Monda}r, 
to  defend  an  interesting  murderer  on  Tuesday,  and 
to  lead  in  a  sensational  libel  action  on  Wednesday 
week,  will  concentrate  his  mind  on  the  first  before 
he  even  begins  to  think  about  the  others ;  he  knows 
nothing  will  happen  in  thejneanwhile :  the  interesting 
murderer  will  not  be  hanged  before  he  has  disposed 
of  the  forger,  and  nothing  will  happen  without  notice 
in  the  libel  case.  In  the  realm  of  action,  however, 
nothing  can  be  left  unwatched ;  the  price  of  safety 
is  perpetual  vigilance.  Yet  the  habits  of  a  lifetime  are 
apt  to  govern  the  lawyer-statesman,  and  he  often 
tends  to  make  his  power  of  rapidly  grasping  a  situa- 
tion when  it  arises  the  excuse  for  not  foreseeing  and 
providing  for  it  in  advance.  The  fault,  it  may  be 
observed,  is  by  no  means  confined  to  statesmen  be- 
longing to  the  higher  branch  of  the  profession. 

But  if  it  ma}'  reasonably  be  contended  that  Mr. 


46  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 


Asquith  has  most  real  defects  as  a  chief  Minister,  and 
that  those  defects  were  reflected  in  his  war  administra- 
tion, common  gratitude  should  have  recognized  the 
great  value  of  his  contribution  to  the  common  stock, 
and  common  decency  should  have  prevented  the 
base  outcry  against  him  when  he  left  office.  The 
cold  magnanimity  with  which  he  has  passed  over 
much  public  injustice  and  much  private  treachery 
is  a  quality  peculiar  to  him.  Few  men  have  been 
attacked  with  more  virulence;  he  is  almost  alone  in 
never  replying  to  such  attacks.  Yet  his  forbearance 
does  not  conciliate,  and  is  probably  not  meant  to  do 
so.  There  is,  indeed,  something  enormously  insulting 
in  his  professed  indifference — professed  only,  for  he 
is  at  bottom  a  sensitive  man  and  feels  keenly  wounds 
he  disdains  to  betray  by  a  wince  or  a  whimper  or 
a  retort.  He  will  go  to  immense  pains  to  defend  a 
colleague  when  the  colleague  is  in  the  right,  and  often 
when  he  is  in  the  wrong ;  but  when  he  himself  is  con- 
cerned slander  goes  unanswered.  Like  William  III., 
when  asked  why  he  did  not  notice  a  foul  libel,  he 
would  doubtless  say,  "J'ai  pense  que  c'etait  au- 
dessous  de  moi." 

Few  politicians,  too,  can  boast  so  complete  an 
immunity  from  any  form  of  untruth.  There  have 
been  times  when  it  seemed  impossible  to  believe  that 
Mr.  Asquith  was  stating  the  facts,  yet  circumstances 
have  always  established  his  absolute  veracity  in 
spirit  and  in  letter.  It  is,  indeed,  little  short  of 
marvellous  that  he  is  so  seldom  betrayed  into  un- 
conscious inaccuracies.  But  his  principles  are  fixed, 
if  he  shows  some  squeezability  in  detail ;  he  has  really 
what  is  rare  enough  to-day,  a  political  philosophy. 
Few  men  more  consistently  refer  to  first  principles 
in  dealing  with  problems  of  the  moment;  and,  know- 
ing himself  how  to  reason,  it  is  easy  to  understand 


MR.  ASQUITH  47 


that  he  has  some  contempt  for  those  who  know  only 
how  to  declaim.  His  memory  is  extraordinary;  his 
intellect  is  always  under  control ;  and  his  language, 
though  precise,  is  guarded.  It  is  probably  little 
known  how  much  care  often  goes  to  the  composition 
of  utterances  which  fill  the  discerning  critics  with 
despairing  admiration.  Mr.  Asquith  can,  indeed, 
speak  well  without  any  kind  of  preparation.  His 
mentality  is  so  disciplined,  and  his  instinct  for  the 
right  word  is  so  infallible,  that  his  impromptus  are 
scarcely  less  clear-cut  in  their  bronze  massiveness 
than  his  more  elaborate  efforts.  But  when  he  is 
engaged  on  a  speech  or  a  document  which  he  regards 
as  vitally  important  no  pains  are  too  great ;  he  will  go 
over  the  whole  thing,  line  by  line  and  word  by  word, 
submit  and  resubmit  it  to  criticism,  and  part  with  it 
only  when  he  is  assured  that  it  cannot  be  bettered. 
In  preparing  statements  meant  for  American  reading, 
for  example,  he  is  infinitely  careful  not  to  employ  any 
expression,  however  correct  according  to  our  usage, 
which  might  have  a  different  shade  of  meaning  on  the 
other  side  of  the  Atlantic. 

But,  after  all,  Mr.  Asquith  is  a  wholly  truthful 
man,  chiefly  because  he  is  also,  with  all  his  limitation, 
a  wholly  true  man.  Behind  his  intellectual  accom- 
plishment is  a  character  that  extorts  respect  from  all 
who  are  themselves  worthy  of  being  respected. 
He  is  not  least  English  in  his  complete  honesty.  The 
machine  of  his  mind  may  not  be  fitted  for  some  work, 
but  it  is  true  and  well  wrought.  His  character  may 
lack  some  of  the  graces,  but  its  foundations  are  as 
adamant.  The  victim  of  much  small  meanness  is 
himself  incapable  of  anything  small  or  mean.  Opinions 
may  vary  widely  as  to  Mr.  Asquith 's  political  game. 
But  the  candid  observer  must  admit  that  he  has 
always  played  it  like  a  gentleman. 


THE  EARL  OF  DERBY 

Lord  Derby  is  not  the  sort  of  man  of  whom  one  would 

wish  to  speak  flippantly.     He  is  entitled  to  the  same 

sort  of  respect  one  pays  to  a  fifteenth-century  manor 

house  now  used  as  a  tavern.     It  bears  witness  to  a 

venerable  past.     It  enjoys  a  comfortable  and  useful 

present.     Lord  Derby  has  the  same  double  claim  on 

our  regard.     As  a  monument  he  is  more  interesting 

than  the  Albert  Memorial.     As  a  human  individual  he 

is  not  destitute  of  a  certain  modest  merit.     He  has 

censored  Press  telegrams,  convicted  poachers,  done 

a  little  soldiering  of  the  ornamental  kind,  gone  through 

the  motions  of  controlling  the  Post  Office  (the  real 

workers  have  not  forgotten  that  he  called  them  a  set 

of  "  bloodsuckers  "),  and  done  most  of  the  things  a 

great  noble  is  supposed  to  do.     And  there  is  much 

health  in  him. 

His  earlier  war  service  now  belongs  to  history,  and 

we  will  let  history  deal  with  it.     He  carried  through 

the  voluntary  recruiting  campaign  with  much  bustle 

and  hustle,  and  rounded  it  off  with  probably  the  most 

confused  statement  ever  published  as  an  official  paper. 

Still,  the  thing  was  done.     As  Under-Secretary  for 

the  War  Office  in  Lord  Kitchener's  time,  he  was  not 

conspicuously  wanting;  he  knew  something  about  the 

Department,  and   he  was  not  the  man  to  stray  far 

from  the  beaten  track.      No  doubt  Lord  Derby  has 

all  kinds  of  virtues  in  a  subordinate   position.     He 

might  even  go  unchallenged  as  a  chief  in  times  when 

it  is  clearly  understood  that  public  work  matters  little, 

and  party  claims  matter  much.     Unfortunately,  these 

48 


THE  EARL  OF  DERBY  49 

times  are  wholly  different.  It  does  matter  who  con- 
trols the  War  Office  during  the  greatest  war  of  history ; 
and  when  Lord  Derby  assumed  that  control  his 
inadequacy  was  too  obvious  to  be  obscured  by  any 
irrelevant  prestige. 

If  blue  blood  supplied  the  place  of  grey  matter,  and 
the  intricacies  of  a  family  tree  were  as  important  as 
the  convolutions  of  a  living  brain,  Lord  Derby  need 
have  feared  no  criticism.  He  has  almost  too  much 
blue  blood.  It  deepens  the  ruddiness  of  his  pleasant 
face,  and  even  gives  him  rather  the  effect  of  wearing 
too  tight  a  collar.  No  living  man  can  claim  more. 
On  his  mother's  side  he  descends  from  the  Clarendons, 
and  he  is  the  seventeenth  Stanley  to  sign  himself 
"  Derby."  One  of  his  ancestors  was  that  Lord 
Stanley  who  betrayed  Richard  III.  at  Bosworth,  and 
earned  the  favour  of  the  unkingly  Richmond.  An- 
other sat  in  judgment  on  Mary,  Queen  of  Scots.  The 
Derbys  enjoyed  regal  powers  in  the  Isle  of  Man,  and 
one  of  the  race  refused  the  throne  of  Greece  some 
time  last  century,  preferring,  in  Disraeli's  bombastic 
phrase,  Knowsley  to  the  Parthenon  and  Lancashire  to 
the  Attic  Plains . 

In  personal  honours  and  endowments,  Lord  Derby 
is  equally  fortunate.  His  ancestors,  common-sense 
men  who  kept  steadily  on  the  right  side  in  politics, 
have  handed  down  to  him  title-deeds  to  seventy  thou- 
sand acres,  including  the  site  of  a  good  deal  of  Liver- 
pool. He  is  a  Knight  of  the  Garter.  For  better  or 
worse  he  is  also  a  Knight  of  Grace  of  St.  John  of 
Jerusalem  and  a  member  of  the  Jockey  Club.  And 
he  is  a  fine  large  man,  who  looks  extremely  well  in 
his  robes;  perhaps  a  little  less  well  in  the  ordinary 
dress  of  a  well-to-do  Englishman,  for  all  the  skill  of 
his  tailor  does  not  hide  the  fact  that  there  is  just  a 

little  too  much  of  him. 

4 


50       UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

If  you  should  happen  to  meet  Lord  Derby,  know- 
ing who  he  was,  you  could  hardly  fail  to  think  him 
a  very  remarkable  man.  You  would  revel  in  his  fine 
bluff  English  manner.  You  would  find  a  subtle  charm 
in  the  way  in  which,  as  his  admirers  note,  he  "  calls 
a  spade  a  spade."  The  blunt  features,  the  full  neck, 
the  shrewd  eyes,  and  unfurrowed  forehead  would  all 
become  significant.  For  it  is  not  in  human  nature — 
certainly  not  in  British  nature — to  separate  the  man 
from  his  title,  his  acres,  his  pedigree,  and  the  fuss  and 
prestige  of  it  all. 

But  if  you  were  to  meet  Lord  Derby  in  a  first-class 
carriage  going  North,  3rou  would  probably  get  the  im- 
pression of  a  prosperous  manufacturer  blossoming  into 
a  Park  Laner.  He  has  just  a  suspicion  of  the  Lan- 
cashire accent,  and  more  than  a  touch  of  the  Lanca- 
shire brusqueness.  He  radiates,  too,  the  strong  but 
limited  common  sense  of  the  type. 

Again,  if  you  transferred  his  Lordship  from  first 
class  to  third,  took  off  his  Jermyn  Street  kit  and 
clothed  him  in  cheap  tweeds,  you  might  just  as  easily 
take  him  for  a  trade  union  delegate.  I  remember,  in- 
deed, seeing  him  pointed  out,  on  an  occasion  when 
Ministers  were  on  show,  as  one  of  the  Labour  Members, 
whereas  Mr.  George  Barnes  was  unconsciously  masque- 
rading as  a  member  of  the  hereditary  aristocrac3r. 
Indeed,  Lord  Derby,  had  some  night-tripping  faity 
changed  him  at  birth,  might  with  no  great  incongruity 
fill  the  part  of  secretary  to  the  Amalgamated  Society 
of  Brewery  and  Aerated  Water  Trades  Transport 
Workers. 

He  has  something  of  the  Tudor  roughness.  Like 
Harry  the  Eighth,  one  can  well  imagine  him  wrestling 
with  a  butcher  on  a  village  green,  and  kissing  the 
butcher's  sweetheart  after  giving  him  his  licking. 
He  is  equally  at  home  with  the  masses  and  the  classes. 


THE  EARL  OF  DERBY  51 

He  is  not  only  a  man  of  the  world  but  a  man  of  more 
worlds  than  one.  The  shades  of  sixteen  Earls  of  the 
Stanley  blood  do  not  prevent  him  from  descending,  on 
selected  occasions,  to  demagogy.  He  is  at  home  with 
a  comedian  in  the  green-room,  a  bookmaker  on  the 
turf,  or  an  interrupter  at  a  public  meeting.  If  the 
late  George  Wyndham  might  be  taken  as  the  Athos 
of  British  aristocracy,  and  Lord  Lansdowne  as  its 
Aramis,  Lord  Derby  is  even  more  its  Porthos.  So 
rich,  so  insolently  brave,  with  so  much  muscle,  and 
— well,  Porthos  needs  no  further  description. 

But  Porthos  had,  with  all  his  bluffness,  an  occa- 
sional weakness  for  the  part  of  Aramis .  He  sometimes 
intrigued — though  not  in  the  manner  of  M.  l'Abbe. 
Now  intrigue  is  exactly  what  Lord  Derby  cannot  abide. 
"  We'll  have  no  intriguers  here  !"  he  has  said,  in  the 
decisive  tones  of  Mistress  Quickly  on  "  swaggerers." 
The  mere  facts  are,  of  course,  that  in  the  transactions 
that  led  to  Mr.  Asquith's  resignation  Lord  Derby  played 
a  not  unimportant  part.  He  supported  Mr.  Lloyd 
George  militant,  and  received  his  reward  from  Mr. 
Lloyd  George  triumphant.  But  was  there  here  any 
intrigue  ?  Let  Lord  Derby  himself  answer.  In  the 
course  of  a  handsome  eulogium  on  himself,  delivered 
a  few  days  after  the  change  of  Government,  he  re- 
marked :  "  I  know  of  no  intrigues.  I  would  not  have 
been  in  one  if  I  had  known  it,  you  may  rest  assured." 
And,  as  if  this  were  not  enough,  he  returned  to  the 
subject  ten  minutes  later.  "  I  hope  you  will  believe 
that  I  will  never  be  disloyal,  and  I  will  never  enter 
into  an  intrigue."  He  had,  he  said,  "  no  personal 
motive  of  any  sort  or  kind,"  "  no  ulterior  motive 
whatever  " :  there  never  was  such  a  categorical  nega- 
tive since  the  Grand  Inquisitor's  in  The  Gondoliers. 

Of  course,  one  takes  the  noble  Earl's  word  for  it. 
But  one  cannot  help  feeling  rather  like  Mr.  Micawber 


52      UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

after  his  wife  has  assured  him  for  the  sixtieth  time 
that  she  would  never  desert  him :  "  My  dear,  I  am  not 
conscious  that  you  are  expected  to  do  anything  of  the 
sort."  It  needed  no  such  emphasis  to  make  us  believe 
Lord  Derby;  indeed,  such  is  the  inconsistency  of 
human  nature,  we  might  have  had  a  somewhat  more 
profound  sense  of  his  disinterestedness  had  he  less  in- 
sisted on  calling  attention  to  it.  Nobody  thinks  Lord 
Derby  self-seeking  in  the  vulgar  sense.  Men  with 
seventy  thousand  rich  acres  are  seldom  that.  Becky 
Sharp  has  put  it  on  record  that  she  would  have 
been  an  innocent  lamb  on  fifty  thousand  a  3^ear. 
There  are,  however,  other  objects  of  ambition  beside 
the  salary  of  a  Minister. 

At  any  rate,  though  he  does  not  intrigue,  Lord 
Derby  is  by  no  means  indifferent  to  things  which  some- 
times interest  intriguers.  He  knows  how  to  manage 
an  editor  just  as  well  as  an  audience.  Perhaps  Mr. 
Lloyd  George  told  him  all  about  it.  He  fully  under- 
stands what  is  meant  by  a  good  Press.  He  is  even 
suspected  of  deliberately  adopting  the  John  Bull  pose 
— as  deliberately  as  Mr.  Bottomley,  whom  he  rather 
resembles  in  Bullish  frankness  and  sturdy  indiscretion. 
Unlike  Mr.  Balfour,  he  diligently  reads  the  papers, 
and  is  not  altogether  displeased  when  they  comment 
on  his  upright  and  downright  slap-a-man-on-the- 
shoulder  heartiness.  It  was  perhaps  not  quite  an 
accident  that  the  idea  of  a  Centre  Party  began  to  gain 
ground  just  after  his  elevation,  though  it  was,  of 
course,  pure  chance  that  "  a  level-headed,  patriotic, 
practical,  all-British  and  no-nonsense  statesman — Lord 
Derby  is  the  type  of  man  who  springs  to  the  eye  " — 
was  immediately  suggested  as  the  Centre  Party's  Chief. 

Lord  Derby's  newspaper  reputation  stood  him  in 
good  stead  during  a  year  of  great  office.  He  might  not 
be  brilliant,  but  who  wants  brilliance  in  England  ? 


THE  EARL  OF  DERBY  53 

He  might  not  be  very  apprehensive  or  sympathetic, 
but  Holdfast  and  Grumble  are  the  dogs  for  many 
Britons'  money.  Lord  Derby  had  two  qualities  that 
rendered  others  unnecessary.  He  was  English,  and 
he  was  Straight.  A  more  rectilinear  politician  could 
not  be.  The  malignant  critic  might  point  to  verbal 
inconsistencies.  He  might  show  an  unkept  promise 
here,  an  unfulfilled  calculation  there,  an  indefensible 
piece  of  red-tape  somewhere  else.  That  was  the 
system.  It  could  not  be  Lord  Derby,  the  moral 
parallelogram  of  the  British  peerage. 

But  at  last  people  began  to  ask  why  Lord  Derby 
should  be  at  the  War  Office  at  all,  if  the  "  system  " 
ran  itself.  Murmurs  began  to  be  heard,  and  presently 
swelled  into  a  considerable  volume  of  straight  speech. 
It  became  the  fashion  to  talk  of  the  "  soullessness  " 
of  the  War  Office.  Lord  Derby,  it  seems,  had  been 
expected  to  radiate  soul  in  Whitehall.  More  sub- 
stantial critics  suggested  that  the  Department  had 
by  no  means  kept  pace  with  the  increasing  demands 
on  its  intelligence  and  resource.  For  some  time  this 
flood  of  censure  was,  as  usual,  pooh-poohed  in  public 
and  anxiously  discussed  in  private.  Mr.  Lloyd  George, 
always  quick  to  distinguish  between  criticism  with 
and  criticism  without  a  popular  backing,  was  not 
long  in  deciding  that  a  change  was  necessary. 

The  manner  of  the  change  was  highly  characteristic. 
The  Prime  Minister  satisfied  at  once  his  instinct  for 
the  safe  course  and  his  relish  for  a  practical  jest. 
He  made  Lord  Milner  Secretary  for  War  and  Lord 
Derby  Ambassador  in  Paris.  The  French  are  said 
to  be  delighted.  The  English  were  amused,  and  not 
displeased.  The  voice  of  criticism  was  silenced. 
Ambassadors,  like  Kings,  cannot  be  exposed  to  com- 
mon censure. 


VISCOUNT  GREY  OF  FALLODON 

Viscount  Grey — he  prefers  the  more  formal  style  to 
avoid  confusion  with  other  lordly  Greys — is,  or  was, 
known  in  Germany  as  "  Liar  Grey."  To  Germans, 
in  their  present  haste,  all  Englishmen  are  liars.  But 
this  Englishman  is  prince  and  chief  of  liars.  He 
stands  on  a  lonely  pinnacle.  His  home  is  in  the  higher 
Alps  of  mendacity,  far  above  the  line  of  stunted  truth 
and  the  eidelweiss  of  small  deceit,  in  the  region  of 
eternal  falsity. 

It  is  a  curious  example  of  the  mirage  effects  of  an 
atmosphere  of  war  and  hate.  In  this  country  Vis- 
count Grey  has  many  critics  and  possibly  a  few 
enemies.  He  has  been  attacked  as  a  reckless  Im- 
perialist and  derided  as  a  futile  and  bewildered  Pacifist. 
There  are  some  who  think  that  he  might  have  avoided 
war  by  concession,  and  more  who  think  that  he  might 
at  least  have  postponed  it  b}r  boldness.  He  is  an 
object  of  real  mistrust  to  a  section  of  his  own  part}', 
and  of  affected  contempt  to  those  who  denounce  what 
they  call  the  "  Old  Gang."  In  the  reaction  against  a 
once  common  idolatry  there  are  many  who  suggest 
that  his  solemnity  was  only  the  mask  of  puzzle- 
headed  mediocrity.  More  rationally  it  is  held  that  no 
man  was  ever  so  wise  as  Viscount  Grey  looked,  and 
that  no  small  part  of  his  great  prestige  was  due  to  his 
Roman  profile,  his  aloof  manner,  and  his  rigid  economy 
in  speech. 

Viscount  Grey,  indeed,  has  been,  since  his  resigna- 
tion, a  target  for  all  the  shafts  that  go  the  way  of 
the  wounded  buck.     But  nobody  in  this  country  has 

54 


VISCOUNT  GREY  OF  FALLODON  55 

yet  cast  an  imputation  on  his  veracity.  There  are 
some  accusations  that  malice  itself  rejects.  Mr. 
Bernard  Shaw's  bitterest  enemy  never  accused  him  of 
Vitellian  gluttony.  The  Archbishop  of  Canterbury 
has  escaped  denunciation  as  a  fanatic.  It  is  rarely 
suggested  that  Mr.  Belloc's  great-grandfather  was  a 
rabbi,  or  that  Mr.  Chesterton  draws  his  main  income 
from  an  illicit  cocoa  factory.  So  with  Viscount  Grey. 
Nobody  accuses  him  of  lying  for  the  same  reason  that 
nobody  compliments  him  on  telling  the  truth ;  it  would 
be  simply  silly  to  do  so. 

That  is  the  common  view  among  Englishmen.  If  it 
be  objected  that  we  are  partial  the  answer  is  "  Call 
Prince  Lichnowsky."  The  late  German  Ambassador 
watched  the  late  Foreign  Secretary,  during  many 
critical  months,  with  close  and  suspicious  scrutiny. 
He  had,  of  all  men,  motive  and  opportunity  to  apply 
the  severest  tests.  Writing  in  retirement,  far  from 
an}'-  associations  likely  to  disturb  his  judgment,  he 
has  set  down  in  a  document  intended  only  for  posterity 
his  deliberate  judgment  of  the  man  his  countrymen 
denounce  especially  as  a  liar.  "  The  simplicity  and 
honesty  of  his  ways,"  says  the  Prince,  "  secured  him 
the  esteem  even  of  his  opponents.  Lies  and  intrigue 
were  equally  repugnant  to  him." 

How  then  are  we  to  account  for  the  fact  that,  while 
Mr.  Asquith  and  others  are  attacked  on  various 
grounds,  the  consistent  German  charge  against 
Viscount  Grey  is  that  so  coarsely  conveyed  in  the 
epithet  applied  to  him  ?  In  all  German  outbursts 
one  constant  note  is  struck  with  evident  sincerity. 
We  are  the  "  treacherous  "  English.  The  Germans 
clearly  believe  the  expectations  they  formed  concern- 
ing our  attitude  to  be  rationally  founded :  hence  their 
rage  against  the  man  who  misled  them.  The  truth, 
it  may  be  guessed,  can  be  expressed  in  the  reversal 


56  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

of  a  famous  epigram.  "  II  ment  toujours;  il  ne 
trompe  jamais,"  said  Talleyrand  of  a  Teutonic  states- 
man. Sir  Edward  Grey  never  lied,  but  he  did  de- 
ceive. It  was  not  his  fault,  of  course.  He  told  the 
simple  truth  on  every  occasion,  expecting  himself 
to  be  understood  as  doing  so.  German  statesmen, 
accustomed  to  weigh  every  possibility  but  this, 
always  read  into  his  words  more  or  less  than  their 
face  value,  which  happened  to  be  also  their  real  value. 

In  191 3  Viscount  Grey's  policy  was  generally 
applauded  in  this  country  as  not  only  generous  but 
wise.  In  many  quarters  it  is  now  conceived  to  have 
been  less  wise  than  generous.  But  it  was  always 
perfectly  consistent  and  straightforward.  He  clung 
to  the  understanding  with  France,  of  which  Mr. 
Balfour's  prescient  wisdom  had  seen  the  necessity. 
He  extended  that  understanding  to  Russia.  But 
while  maintaining  these  friendships,  he  sought  to 
remove  all  causes  of  friction  with  German}',  as  a 
preliminary  to  establishing  better  relations  all  round, 
and  placing  the  peace  of  Europe  on  a  stable  basis. 

We  know  now  that  it  was  all  a  dream.  But  there 
are  some  who  still  believe,  despite  a  mass  of  evidence 
to  the  contrary,  that  it  was  a  dream  not  only  capable 
of  realization,  but  very  nearly  realized.  No  doubt 
Viscount  Grey,  perhaps  misled  by  the  enthusiasm  of 
Lord  Haldane,  gravely  miscalculated  the  forces  in 
Germany  making  for  war.  It  is  pretty  certain  that, 
when  the  feeble  German  peace  party  was  overwhelmed, 
every  honest  attempt  on  his  part  to  reach  an  accum- 
modation  only  made  matters  worse.  Soils- Bismarcks 
of  the  Kiderlen-Waechter  stamp,  Pan-Germans  enrages 
like  Tirpitz,  only  interpreted  his  bids  for  German 
friendship  as  half-promises  to  betray  France  and 
Russia  on  suitable  terms.  Every  approach  was  mis- 
read.     Plain  statements  were  invested  with  sinister 


VISCOUNT  GREY  OF  FALLODON  57 

significance.  There  are,  indeed,  no  mistakes  so  coarse 
as  those  of  the  clever  cynic  in  dealing  with  a  man  of 
plain  average  intellect  and  more  than  average  honesty, 
and  the  fury  of  a  woman  scorned  is  mild  resentment 
compared  with  the  rage  of  the  practised  deceiver  who 
is  outwitted  by  mere  integrity.  Each  little  world  has 
its  own  code  of  honour,  often  monstrously  at  variance 
with  the  code  of  the  great  world.  To  the  able  diplo- 
matists of  Berlin  Viscount  Grey  was  not  playing 
"  cricket  "  when  he  used  words  to  express  his  thoughts. 
They  could  have  forgiven  him  had  he  lied  and  lost. 
They  might  have  felt  less  bitterly  had  he  lied  and  won. 
But  they  hate  him  above  all  others  because,  so  to 
speak,  he  hit  diplomatically  below  the  belt,  and  used 
truth  as  a  knuckleduster.  To  them  he  is  the  supreme 
liar  by  virtue  of  an  unprofessional  veracity. 

We  cannot  regret  that  a  man  who  represents  the 
highest  type  of  English  character  was  in  charge  of  our 
affairs  during  the  years  of  disturbed  equilibrium  that 
preceded  the  war.  We  ma}'  have  much  to  lament ; 
we  have  nothing  to  blush  for.  It  is  a  proud  thing 
for  our  nation  that,  while  every  addition  to  our  know- 
ledge of  those  years  throws  into  blacker  relief  the 
dishonesty  of  the  Jew  and  Junker  combinations  of 
Berlin  and  Vienna,  the  spotless  integrity  of  Viscount 
Grey,  like  a  snowclad  mountain  when  dawn  is  chasing 
night  away,  reveals  itself  more  dazzling  with  each 
increase  of  light.  But  it  might  have  been  better  for 
England  and  Europe  if  that  English  straightforward- 
ness had  been  modified  by  another  quality.  Viscount 
Grey's  mind  is  wholly  innocent  of  irony.  He  went  to 
the  European  fair  with  something  of  the  guilelessness 
of  Moses  Primrose  when  he  invested  in  the  gold- 
rimmed  spectacles.  The  German  cynics  were  foolish 
to  deny  the  existence  of  gold ;  but  there  is  something 
to  be  said  for  a  healthy  scepticism.     Viscount  Grey 


58  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

was  a  little  too  much  impressed  by  the  undeniable 
shagreen  spectacle  cases.  He  was  a  shade  too 
gentlemanly  to  apply  an  acid  test  to  the  spectacle 
rims. 

The  truth  is  that,  with  the  highest  qualities  of  his 
caste,  he  has  some  of  its  defects.  Though  capable  of 
much  work,  he  is  constitutionally  indolent.  It  is 
astonishing,  indeed,  in  view  of  his  character  and  cir- 
cumstances, that  he  was  ever  induced  to  shoulder  the 
great  burden  he  bore  for  ten  years.  Of  vulgar  ambi- 
tion he  possesses  no  trace,  and  the  objects  of  a  healthy 
ambition  were  his  without  effort.  With  ample 
possessions,  a  pedigree  more  noteworthy  than  that 
of  any  but  a  dozen  noble  families,  a  singularly  sane 
and  wholesome  temperament,  tastes  that  demanded 
no  more  than  his  patrimony  could  easily  supply,  there 
was  every  reason  that  a  life  of  dignified  obscurity 
should  handsomely  suffice  him.  Patriotism,  friend- 
ship, or  what  not  turned  the  scale  of  his  inclinations, 
but  his  character  remained.  He  did  his  work,  but 
not  as  a  workman  who  loves  his  work  as  a  mistress. 
With  unequalled  experience,  he  was  always  something 
of  the  amateur.  He  did  not  even  trouble  to  acquire 
the  tourist's  knowledge  of  foreign  countries.  He  never 
went  abroad;  he  fished  instead.  He  understood  only 
French,  and  did  not  speak  that.  What  was  more  im- 
portant, he  lacked  that  instinctive  understanding  of 
the  European  mind  which  in  some  Foreign  Ministers 
has  compensated  for  the  want  of  first-hand  knowledge. 
Looking  through  his  despatches,  he  saw  Grey  where 
another  would  have  detected  red,  or  black,  or  Im- 
perial purple.  To  him  there  was  one  Grey  at  the 
Quai  d'Orsay,  another  in  the  Wilhelmstrasse,  another 
in  the  Balplatz — all  English  Greys,  as  upright,  as 
limited,  as  wholly  reasonable.  That  peculiarly  English 
quality  which  may  be  described    as   cosy  aloofness 


VISCOUNT  GREY  OF  FALLODON  5Q 

was  his;  the  quality  which  made  us  look  on  our 
island  as  an  anchored  ship  and  the  few  miles  of  Channel 
as  an  impassable  barrier  against  the  envy  of  less  happy 
lands.  His  judgment  of  European  problems  was 
coloured  by  the  assumption  that  the  superiority  of 
our  moral  and  physical  position  rendered  us  immune. 
We  see  him  often  busy  on  the  circumference  of  the 
problem — Agadir  and  the  like — up  to  the  last  dread- 
ful disillusionment.  There  is  no  evidence  that  he 
reached  the  heart  of  the  matter,  that  he  recognized 
that  Britain  might,  instead  of  acting  the  part  of 
dignified  referee,  have  to  fight  for  very  life. 

It  was,  after  all,  the  common  heritage  from  the 
Victorian  time,  this  notion  that  alone  among  nations 
Great  Britain  was  safe:  safe  to  attack,  if  the  mood 
took  her,  safe  from  being  attacked.  If  Viscount  Grey 
failed  to  estimate  in  time  the  full  perils  of  his  policy, 
it  is  his  glory  that  he  did  not  shrink  from  them  when 
they  were  revealed .  To  his  sense  of  honourable  obliga- 
tion, and  perhaps  also  to  his  youth — for  he  was  not 
old  enough  to  be  under  the  full  spell  of  the  Victorian 
tradition — the  nation  owes  it  that  it  trod  from  the 
first  the  rude  and  thorny  path  of  dut}\  Had  he 
blenched,  he  would  no  doubt  have  turned  the  scales 
in  favour  of  an  unrighteous  and  precarious  neutrality, 
and  we  should  be  to-da\r  paying  the  full  price  of  that 
betrayal. 

After  all  allowance  is  made,  some  criticism  seems 
justified  of  the  rather  nerveless  policy  pursued  by  the 
Asquith  Cabinet  before  the  war,  a  policy  for  which  we 
know,  on  the  authority  of  Prince  Lichnowsky,  Viscount 
Grey  was  responsible.  Of  the  petulant  outcry  raised 
against  him  for  his  course  during  the  earlier  war 
period  it  is  difficult  to  speak  with  moderation.  The 
house  that  is  building  is  not  as  the  house  that  is  built. 
In  the  security  of  the  American  alliance  it  is  easy  to 


60  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 


forget  that  in  dealing  with  a  people  so  legally  (and 
indeed  legalistically)  minded  as  the  Americans,  an 
arbitrary  policy  might  have  repeated,  with  fatal 
results,  the  tragedy  of  1812.  The  impartial  historian 
will  probably  decide  that  Viscount  Grey,  by  courteous 
inflexibility  on  essentials  and  by  concession  in  all 
doubtful  cases,  gained  as  much  as  we  could  reasonably 
expect  during  that  critical  period  before  Germany 
had  wholly  alienated  American  opinion. 

A  few  months  ago  all  this  discussion  might  well 
appear  unprofitable.  Viscount  Grey's  career  seemed 
to  be  closed.  Judgment  on  it  seemed  to  be  an  affair 
for  more  leisurely  times.  But  there  are  signs  of  some 
reaction  against  the  hurried  verdict  of  1916,  and  it  is 
well  that  the  man  who  may  yet  be  called  on  to  under- 
take great  tasks — he  must  be  called  before  he  comes — 
should  be  seen  in  a  dry  light.  He  is  not  what  we 
ordinarily  understand  as  a  great  man.  He  lacks  the 
showier  qualities.  He  has  no  power  of  compelling 
speech.  He  wields  not  the  bejewelled  scimitar  of 
Mr.  Lloyd  George,  nor  the  active  rapier  of  Mr.  Balfour, 
nor  the  trenchant  Roman  blade  of  Mr.  Asquith.  In 
sheer  intellectual  power  he  must  yield  to  many  of  his 
contemporaries.  Even  in  the  day  of  his  greatest 
prestige  it  was  difficult  to  point  to  any  specific  superior- 
ity, character  apart,  in  explanation  of  his  unique 
position  in  England  and  Europe. 

But  Viscount  Grey  is  an  example  of  the  truth  that  a 
man  may  be  larger  than  the  sum  of  his  qualities.  If 
he  is  not  a  great  man,  he  is  certainly  a  great  English- 
man. His  chief  weakness  as  a  Foreign  Minister  was 
that  he  was  too  English.  It  is,  I  think,  his  chief 
strength  to-day.  He  stands  for  English  justice, 
English  moderation,  English  avoidance  of  extremes. 
The  world  knows  exactly  what  he  means  when  he 
speaks  of  a  League  of  Nations — that  he  is  neither 


VISCOUNT  GREY  OF  FALLODON  61 

chasing  a  sentimental  will-o'-the-wisp  nor  fashioning 
an  instrument  of  permanent  oppression  for  the  de- 
feated. The  English  people  know  what  he  means 
when  he  avows  himself  a  democrat  while  leading  the 
life  of  an  aristocratic  recluse.  For  they  see  in  him 
more  than  in  most  of  his  contemporaries  that  old 
liberality  which  so  long  made  the  English  oligarchy 
almost  popular.  It  may  be  that  the  world  is  doomed 
to  a  worse  anarchy  than  that  which  germinated  the 
seeds  of  the  present  desolation.  It  may  be  that  this 
country  is  destined  to  suffer  the  pangs  of  intestinal 
strife  as  well  as  the  cleaner  wounds  of  foreign  war. 
But  if  those  calamities  are  to  be  avoided  it  is  to  men  at 
once  sanely  democratic  and  wholesomely  conservative 
that  we  must  look  for  leadership,  and  of  that  type 
this  country  possesses  no  greater  example  than  the 
clean-souled  and  high-minded  statesman  who  pained 
many  of  his  friends  for  the  first  and  last  time  when 
he  consented  to  become  the  first  Viscount  Grey  of 
Fallodon. 


LORD  ROBERT  CECIL 

Concerning  Lord  Robert,  the  most  important  fact  is 
that  he  is  a  Cecil.  Next  in  importance  is  the  circum- 
stance that  he  happens  to  be  a  lawyer.  He  is,  for 
better  or  worse,  the  thrall  of  the  family  temperament. 
But  he  is  also  a  Cecil  trained  to  an  exacting  and  in 
some  senses  a  liberalising  craft. 

Every  Cecil  is  a  Cecil  before  everything.  In  no 
English  family  does  the  type  remain  more  constant. 
There  have  been  Cecils  good  and  bad,  brilliant  and 
stupid,  fools  and  men  of  great  qualities,  if  never  quite 
of  the  greatest.  But  running  through  ten  generations 
are  discernible  certain  mental  traits  a  good  deal  more 
enduring  than  any  physical  feature. 

I  have  read  somewhere  that  the  founder  of  this 
distinguished  house  was  a  prosperous  linen-draper 
who  "  cut  "  his  trade  and  turned  squire.  If  so,  we 
may  be  pretty  sure  that  he  was  an  industrious  appren- 
tice of  a  type  very  different  from  the  Hogarthian  prig. 
His  eyes  might  be  fixed  firmly  on  the  main  chance  and 
the  master's  daughter;  he  might  go  to  church  with  ex- 
emplary regularity;  but  that  would  not  prevent  his 
playing  tricks  incompatible  with  copybook  perfection. 

Five  qualities  are  hereditary  in  the  Cecils:  a  cer- 
tain lordly  care  for  the  interest  of  the  Cecils  them- 
selves which  would  be  indelicate  in  men  of  lesser 
breed ;  a  passionate  attachment  to  the  Church ;  an  in- 
stinct of  compromise  which  enables  them,  while  main- 
taining the  extreme  Tory  position,  to  avoid  the  re- 
proach of  mere  bigotry;  a  detachment  which  would 

savour  of  pure  arrogance  were  it  not  allied  with  con- 

62 


LORD  ROBERT  CECIL  63 

siderable  simplicity  of  manners;  and  a  singular  vein 
of  grave  rowdiness  which  breaks  out  in  every 
generation. 

Macaulay  has  remarked  upon  the  great  Burleigh's 
tendency  to  practical  jokes  when  he  lay  at  Gray's  Inn, 
and  observes  that  to  the  last  he  was  "  somewhat 
jocose."  Only  a  very  flexible  statesman  could  have 
saved  his  head  and  his  fortune  under  Edward  VI., 
Lad}7  Jane  Grey,  and  Mary,  to  rise  at  once  to  great- 
ness with  the  accession  of  Elizabeth.  Only  a  very 
zealous  Protestant  could  have  kept  his  reputation  for 
passionate  orthodoxy  after  going  regularly  to  Mass 
while  the  fires  of  Smithfield  were  burning.  And 
Burleigh's  integrity,  no  less  than  his  care  for  future 
Cecils,  was  shown  by  the  circumstance  that  he  left 
behind  him  "  only  "  three  hundred  distinct  landed 
properties,  though  by  improper  practices  he  could  have 
amassed  a  much  larger  fortune. 

The  great  Lord  Salisbur}7  was  Burleigh  on  a  some- 
what contracted  stage.  He  had  his  period  of  squib- 
writing  at  the  Temple  and  of"  ragging  "  in  the  House. 
He  helped  the  Church  and  his  family  where  he  could. 
He  stood  quite  aloof,  and  still  retained  a  certain  popu- 
larity. He  killed  more  "  Liberal  measures  "  than 
any  man,  and  yet  contrived  never  to  bring  about  a 
life-and-death  fight  between  Lords  and  Commons. 

Mr.  Balfour,  though  only  half  a  Cecil,  inherited 
much  of  the  Cecil  character.  His  Fourth  Party  in- 
subordination, his  gay  tyranny  in  Ireland,  his  con- 
stant patronage  of  a  Church  with  which  he  has  little 
intellectual  sympathy,  the  taste  for  dialectical  horse- 
play which  he  shows  even  at  an  advanced  age,  his 
capacity  for  escaping  from  every  cul-de-sac  prepared 
for  him  by  Free  Traders  and  Tariff  Reformers,  the 
kindness  to  kin  which  led  him  to  shower  places  and 
pensions  among  deserving  Cecils,  all  derive  from  the 


64      UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 


original   Burleigh;  "  fair  "  (when  it  was  quite  con- 
venient) and  "  free  »'  (with  the  pickings  of  office). 

Ot  the  great  Victorian  Cecil's  sons,  none  has  yet 
achieved  a  place  in  which  full  play  can  be  given  to 
all  the  Cecilian  characteristics.  Lord  Hugh  is  still 
in  the  tadpole  stage,  and  Lord  Robert  is  only  just 
emerging.  The  present  Marquis  looks  as  if  he  would 
never  emerge.  But  that  they  are  true  Cecils  in  every 
respect  their  record  has  already  made  clear. 

Mr.  Gardiner's  story  of  Lord  Hugh  gravely  com- 
plaining to  his  mother  of  the  Socinian  tendencies  of 
his  nurse  is  excellent,  but  obviously  inadequate.     Had 
his  five-year-old  lordship  really  suspected  heresy  in 
that  quarter,  he  would  assuredly  have  adopted  a  quite 
different  formula  of  exorcism.     He  would  have  put 
mustard  in  nurse's  tea,  kicked  her  shins,  laid  booby 
traps  for  her,  screamed  and  plunged,  and  made  her  life 
impossible.     For,  while  there  is  no  question  of  the 
sincerity    of    the    Cecilian    affection     for    "  religion 
orthodox  "  members  of  the  family  have  no  objection 
to  "  apostolic  blows  and  knocks  "  for  its  sake.     They 
will  use  in  the  defence  of  the  Establishment  all  the 
dodges  of  a  welshing  bookmaker  to  secure  his  evil  gains. 
Let  an  impious  politician  lay  hands  on  the  holy  ark, 
and  the  Cecils  are  not  willing  to  leave  him  to  Divine 
vengeance.     Trip  him  up,  butt  him  in  the  waistcoat, 
pull  his  hair,  call  his  grandmother  names;  nothing 
is  amiss  in  dealing  with  the  heretic. 

These  are  qualities  not  altogether  amiable.  If  they 
were  the  only  Cecilian  qualities,  or  even  if  the  Hugh- 
ligan  cast  were  predominant  in  the  family  character, 
there  would  be  little  to  distinguish  its  cadets  from 
dozens  of  mere  partisan  rowdies.'  But  if  they  some- 
times do  not  care  to  remember  that  they  are  hereditary 
gentlemen,  the  Cecils  seldom  permanently  forget  that 
they  are  hereditary  statesmen.  And  this  is  conspicu- 
ously the  case  with  Lord  Robert. 


.     LORD  ROBERT  CECIL  65 

It  is  with  something  like  a  shock  that  one  recalls 
that  he  is  fifty-three.  That  is  another  peculiarity 
with  the  Cecils — their  premature  antiquity  and  their 
prolonged  immaturity.  Lord  Robert  was  never  young, 
and  he  grows  old  with  difficulty.  His  political  salad 
days  had  scarcely  ended  when  he  accepted  the  sober- 
ing burden  of  office.  It  seems  but  yesterday  that 
he  was  engaged  on  the  Marconi  hunt,  which  he  en- 
jo3^ed  perhaps  as  a  chase  even  more  than  as  a  political 
purity  crusade,  though,  to  do  him  justice,  he  was 
probably  as  shocked  as  most  people  with  the  "  indeli- 
cacies "  he  was  probing.  Marconi  was  not  in  the 
Cecilian  grand  manner;  when  a  Cecil  jobs  he  does  it 
with  a  stately  disregard  of  common  opinion  which 
robs  the  thing  of  any  suggestion  of  turpitude. 

Those  who  saw  it  will  always  remember  Lord 
Robert's  face  when  Mr.  Asquith's  name  cropped  up  in 
that  inquiry.  Mention  was  made  of  a  certain  letter 
written  by  the  Prime  Minister.  The  gaunt  pale 
features  of  Lord  Robert  flushed  with  excitement ;  he 
humped  his  shoulders  almost  to  deformity;  the  little 
tuft  produced  by  the  friction  of  his  wig  fairly  stood 
upright ;  his  long  neck  emerged  from  his  rather  loose 
collar  until  he  gave  the  impression  of  some  bird  of  the 
vulture  species  scenting  a  new  feast.  I  believe  there 
is  such  a  thing  as  a  Secretary  bird .  Lord  Robert  looked 
like  that,  or  at  lowest  like  an  Under-Secretary  bird. 

His  disappointment  was  painful  when  the  letter  was 
read  !  It  turned  out  to  run  something  like  this  :  "How 
dull  everything  is ;  nothing  in  the  papers  but  Winston." 

The  artless  innocence  of  that  letter  was  a  real  blow 
to  Lord  Robert.  Not  that  he  hated  Mr.  Asquith,  but 
it  would  be  such  fun  to  harpoon  a  victim  of  that  dig- 
nity. It  was  precisely  the  same  spirit  that  barbed  his 
father's  attacks  on  Gladstone:  "  The  right  honourable 
gentleman  reminds   me  of  a  pettifogging   attorney 

5 


66  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

(Oh,  oh  !)     I  beg  the  House's  pardon.     I  have  done 
a  great  injustice  to  an  honourable  profession." 

But  there  was  just  as  much  of  the  paternal  Salisbury 
in  the  resolution  with  which  Lord  Robert  and  his 
brother  went  out  into  the  wilderness  over  Tariff  Reform . 
Others  might  bow  the  knee  to  the  Birmingham  Rim- 
mon;  they  must  be  excused.  Excommunications 
descended  harmless  on  them.  They  lost  their  seats 
and  their  tempers,  but  they  stuck  to  their  principles. 
That,  again,  is  the  Cecil  way.  If  there  is  the  possi- 
bility of  making  the  best  of  both  worlds,  the  Cecils 
have  no  ambition  for  martyrdom.  Burleigh  thought 
his  head  worth  a  mass,  and  his  son  bemoaned  that 
"  'Tis  a  great  task  to  prove  one's  honesty  without 
marring  one's  fortune."  But  on  some  subjects 
honesty  must  be  proved,  though  there  be  as  many 
Chamberlains  as  there  are  iron  plates  in  Birmingham. 

This  disinterestedness  was  the  more  obvious  because 
for  the  brothers  there  could  be  no  question  of  a  change 
of  allegiance,  as  in  the  case  of  Mr.  Churchill.  The)7 
were  more  bitter  Tories  without  a  party  than  with  one. 
The  Cecil  shawl  could  never  be  degraded  by  an  alien 
fringe,  Celtic  or  otherwise.  So  they  scratched  and 
kicked  and  screamed  at  friend  and  foe  until  Ireland, 
the  Church  in  Wales,  and  other  questions  came  to 
heal  the  breach. 

At  the  beginning  of  the  war  the  two  lost  sheep  had 
fairly  got  back  to  the  home  pasture,  though  hardly  to 
the  fold.  But  even  so  late  as  the  formation  of  the 
Coalition  there  were  not  a  few  Unionists  who  resented 
Lord  Robert's  inclusion,  just  as  there  were  many 
Marconi-mindful  Radicals  equally  hostile.  It  is  a 
proof  of  the  statesmanlike  capacity  which  underlies 
the  more  debatable  elements  of  the  Cecil  character 
that  Lord  Robert  has  lived  down  the  latter  prejudice 
much  more  completely  than  the  former.  His  only 
bitter  critics  are  the  former  Die-hards,  who  are  now 


LORD  ROBERT  CECIL  67 

Fight-hards,  in  the  sense  that  they  want  the  fight  to 
be  as  hard  as  possible.  They  decry  him  because  we 
are  not  now  at  war  with  America  over  a  spirited 
blockade  stroke,  because  he  has  grasped  the  truth  that 
England  and  English  interests  are  not  the  sole  elements 
in  this  world  struggle,  because  he  has  declared  whole- 
heartedly for  Mr.  Wilson's  policy. 

All  this,  say  his  detractors,  argues  the  spirit  of  the 
trimmer,  and  Lord  Robert  is  reminded  of  what  his 
great  ancestor  would  have  done.  Of  course,  the  great 
ancestor  would  have  done  precisely  the  same.  He  did , 
in  fact,  much  the  same.  His  whole  virtue  as  a  states- 
man was  a  caution  that  never  relaxed,  a  prudence  that 
was  never  tempted.  That  moderation  which  used 
the  rack  as  seldom  as  possible,  and  only  "  as  gently  as 
such  an  uncivil  thing  could  be  used,"  also  preserved 
England  from  the  fearful  dangers  to  which  a  reckless 
genius  might  have  exposed  her. 

Lord  Robert  has  shown  a  similar  understanding  of 
the  position  and  powers  of  this  country.  His  lawyer 
training  has  only  strengthened  a  transmitted  instinct 
for  temperance  in  claim  and  tenacity  in  negotiation. 
His  various  replies  to  German  pretensions  have  been 
admirable  in  tone  and  matter.  He  has  faults  of  style, 
but  he  keeps  them  for  the  smaller  occasions.  He  has 
all  the  limitations  of  his  caste  and  temperament,  but 
he  does  not  allow  them  to  interfere  with  a  broad  judg- 
ment on  the  great  questions.  He  would  prefer  an 
England  on  the  old  pattern  in  a  world  such  as  we 
knew  before  the  war.  But  his  Toryism  is  at  least  con- 
servative; it  aims  at  preserving.  And  Lord  Robert 
sees  clearly  that  unless  the  world  is  to  go  a  very  long 
way  back  it  must  take  a  considerable  step  forward ; 
there  is  no  staying  still. 

This  perception  is  the  explanation  of  a  success 
which  has  grown  steadily  more  apparent.  Lord 
Robert  has  shown  himself  an  excellent  man  of  busi- 


68  VNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

ness  in  his  Department;  he  is  also  the  one  recruit  to 
the  Government  who  has  given  promise  of  much  higher 
things.  For  him  the  party  truce  has  been  a  reality; 
against  the  arch-conspirator  of  old  da}'s  attaches  no 
suspicion  of  entering  into  personal  or  party  intrigue. 
He  was  loyal  to  Mr.  Asquith,  because  Mr.  Asquith, 
for  the  time,  represented  for  him  England  alone.  He 
is  loyal  to  his  present  chief  for  no  better  or  worse 
reason.  Until  the  present  business  is  over,  he  is 
neither  Whig  nor  Tory,  but  a  British  Minister.  And 
he  sees  much  farther  than  most  of  his  colleagues. 
His  main  defect  probably  is  that  his  vision  is  too 
telescopic.  He  understands,  like  Mr.  Balfour,  the 
necessity  of  solidarity  with  world-democracy.  It  is 
yet  doubtful  whether  he  has  come  to  understand  that 
there  must  be  a  fuller  expression  of  democracy  at  home. 

After  all,  he  is  the  son  of  the  statesman  who  de- 
scribed an  Indian  Member  of  Parliament  as  a  "  black 
man,"  and  thought  the  English  people  would  be  more 
interested  in  a  circus  than  any  extension  of  local  self- 
government.  He  is  the  brother  of  Lord  Hugh,  who 
once  said  that  no  labouring  man  wanted  a  bathroom. 
He  lives,  in  short,  physically  in  St.  John's  Wood,  but, 
morally,  within  the  palings  of  the  ancestral  park. 

Lord  Robert  has  all  the  Cecil  indifference  to  dress, 
all  the  Cecil  absence  of  personal  affectation.  With 
his  soft  hat,  black  coat,  and  light  trousers  he  might 
pass  for  a  Socialist  intellectual.  But  there  is  a  hard 
core  of  aristocratic  exclusiveness  beneath.  He  typi- 
fies that  old  house  at  Hatfield,  which,  on  the  very 
verge  of  Greater  London,  is  far  more  distant  from  the 
Londoner  than  Chatsworth  or  Eaton  Hall. 

He  will  probably  miss  true  greatness  through  this 
detachment,  which  is  one  of  the  Cecil  heirlooms.  But 
he  is  destined,  doubtless,  to  go  much  further.  Of  all 
the  new  men  in  the  Government  his  is  the  solitary 
figure  which  suggests_large  possibilities. 


MR.  BALFOUR 

Among  the  writer's  most  vivid  memories  is  that  of 
a  dull  meeting  in  a  dull  room  in  a  dull  street  in  the 
City  of  London,  looking  its  dullest  in  the  gloom  of  a 
late  autumn  afternoon  nearly  seven  years  ago. 

Mr.  Balfour,  after  defying  for  years  the  slings  and 
arrows  of  outrageous  Tariff  enthusiasts,  had  decided 
on  abdication.  In  a  speech  of  great  dignity  he  gave 
an  account  of  the  stewardship  he  was  about  to  sur- 
render. He  had  reached  an  age,  he  said,  when  it  was 
commonly  supposed  that  the  powers  of  the  mind  and 
will  were  on  the  wane.  He  could  not  honestly  say 
he  had  noticed  any  signs  of  degeneration  in  his  own 
case,  but  he  was  no  impartial  judge,  and  must  bow  to 
the  general  sentiment  that  the  leadership  of  the  party 
should  be  placed  in  younger  and  more  vigorous  hands. 

The  full  irony  of  this  valedictory  oration  was  not 
appreciated  until,  after  an  agitated  interval,  Mr. 
Bonar  Law  reigned  in  Mr.  Balfour's  stead.  Perhaps 
it  is  not  wholly  appreciated  still.  For  the  conquerors 
in  the  fight  which  Mr.  Balfour  had  lost  were  wholly 
innocent  of  irony.  Had  the  dragon  beaten  St.  George 
it  would  no  doubt  have  munched  him  without  the 
smallest  suspicion  that  the  dinner  might  be  something 
greater  than  the  diner.  With  the  same  stolid  gusto 
the  Confederates  triumphed  over  their  fallen  leader. 
It  was  the  victory  of  the  simple  over  the  complex,  of 
an  eager  empiricism  over  a  doubting  philosophy.  Mr. 
Balfour  fell  because,  like  that  very  complete  English 
Tory,  Hamlet,  he  was  only  sure  of  the  disadvantages 
of  every  course  of  action,  and  on  the  whole  would 

69 


70  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

rather  endure  the  ills  he  had  than  fly  to  others  that 
he  knew  not  of.  With  almost  all  the  gifts  that  make 
men  great,  he  had  one  fatal  disqualification  for  the 
leadership  of  the  Conservative  Party  as  it  existed  in 
191 1.  He  was  a  true  conservative.  And  the  Con- 
servative Party  was  then  everything  but  conservative. 
The  last  thing  it  wanted  was  to  stand  still.  It  was 
possessed  by  a  Gadarene  frenzy  for  advance,  and  Mr. 
Balfour's  offence  was  that  he  would  not  lead  decisively 
down  the  steep  places  of  its  desire. 

To  a  superficial  view  at  this  time,  Mr.  Balfour's 
career,  however  brilliant,  must  have  given  the  pre- 
dominating impression  of  failure.  The  memory  of 
the  Irish  Secretaryship  had  faded;  events,  too,  were 
daily  giving  a  decisive  though  belated  answer  to  that 
talented  essay  in  repression;  the  Irish  problem  might 
not  be  insoluble,  but  certainly  twenty  years  of  resolute 
government  had  not  solved  it.  As  to  Mr.  Balfour's 
later  career,  the  party  under  his  leadership  had  gone 
to  pieces ;  his  authority  had  vanished ;  he,  the  cham- 
pion of  Parliamentary  fence,  had  been  worsted  by  the 
plain  claymore  of  "  C.-B.";  his  personal  prestige  had 
been  dimmed  by  the  blaze  of  Mr.  Chamberlain's  glory. 
Men  had  begun  to  speak  of  him  as  a  philosopher. 
There  is  only  one  lower  level  for  an  English  statesman 
of  undeniable  intellectual  standing.  It  is  to  be  called 
a  doctrinaire. 

The  war,  however,  has  led  to  a  general  revaluation, 
and  Mr.  Balfour's  is  one  of  the  few  reputations  that 
has  constantly  risen.  True,  this  appreciation  is  con- 
fined to  a  somewhat  narrow  circle,  and  applies  only 
to  the  more  obvious  aspects  of  Mr.  Balfour's  work,  his 
American  mission,  and  so  forth.  For  full  justice  he 
will  have  to  await  the  deliverance  of  posterity.  But 
the  guess  may  be  ventured  that  when  all  these  vast 
transactions  have  fallen  into  historic  perspective  his 


MR.  BALFOUR  71 


will  be  one  of  the  two  or  three  great  figures  emerging 
from  the  crowd  of  small  and  very  small  men.  At 
present  we  are  too  near  the  canvas  to  see  the  picture ; 
at  the  proper  distance  touches  that  seem  irrelevant 
and  even  grotesque  will  probably  fall  together  as  in 
a  masterpiece  of  Velasquez. 

For  example,  that  brilliant  duel  with  Mr.  Chamber- 
lain, with  all  its  incomparable  skill,  seems  to  the  eye 
of  a  contemporary  pure  futility.  Mr.  Balfour  aimed 
at  preserving  party  unity,  and  split  his  party  hope- 
lessly. He  tried  to  establish  a  common  formula,  and 
actually  succeeded  in  evolving  half  a  dozen  mutually 
hostile  cliques.  He  steered  his  barque  with  marvellous 
skill  past  numberless  snags,  only  to  run  it  on  a  sand- 
bank in  the  end.  All  this  is  incomprehensible — 
remembering  that  we  are  dealing  with  a  man  of  first- 
rate  mind  and  great  Parliamentary  talent — if  we 
consider  Mr.  Balfour  only  as  a  British  statesman  with 
a  vital  interest  in  the  fiscal  question.  It  is  easily 
explicable  if  we  view  him  as  a  Gallio  on  the  issue 
between  Cobdenism  and  Chamberlainism,  but  also  as 
the  one  British  statesman  of  European  mind,  chiefly 
intent  on  the  enormous  European  problem  then  shap- 
ing. Just  about  the  time  Mr.  Chamberlain  launched 
his  Tariff  campaign,  Mr.  Balfour  discerned  the  new 
tendencies  on  the  Continent,  and  took  the  first  steps  to 
meet  them.  His  delaying  tactics  on  the  Tariff  con- 
troversy, his  calm  endurance  of  party  insubordination, 
his  insensibility  to  ridicule  and  blindness  to  electoral 
warnings,  may  be  understood  if  we  also  grasp  that 
time  was  essential  to  confirm  the  new  orientation  in  our 
foreign  policy,  and  that  it  was  precisely  for  time  for 
this  object  that  he  was  fighting. 

His  "  weakness  "  at  a  later  period  is  explicable  on 
similar  assumptions.  He  wished  to  protect  the 
"  rights  "  of  property.     He  desired  to  guard  the  in- 


72  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

terests  of  the  Church.  He  was  determined  if  possible 
to  prevent  Home  Rule.  But  he  knew  where  to  stop. 
He  might  use  Carsonism ;  he  would  not  be  its  instru- 
ment. Mr.  Balfour  can  only  be  understood  if  we 
recognize  in  him  a  dual  personality.  He  has  the 
mind  and  spirit  of  a  great  European  statesman  in  the 
body  of  a  rather  limited  English  Tory.  His  broader 
self  belongs  rather  to  the  Richelieus  than  the  Pitts; 
Parliamentary  successes  notwithstanding,  his  subtle 
brain  better  fits  the  closet  than  the  Senate.  His 
smaller  personality  finds  its  spiritual  home  with  the 
genteel  inhabitants  of  Cheltenham.  On  more  philo- 
sophical grounds  he  shares  the  prejudices  of  the  half- 
pay  major  and  the  cultivated  rentier. 

Mr.  Balfour's  lack  of  sympathy  with  democratic 
ideals  is,  in  fact,  based  on  something  less  robust  than 
the  Cecilian  arrogance.  It  is  rather  the  shrinking 
of  a  provincial  blue-stocking  from  what  she  considers 
"  vulgar."  Mr.  Balfour's  low  vitality  may  have  as 
much  to  do  with  it  as  his  mental  fastidiousness.  But 
his  conscious  objection  to  democracy  would  seem 
to  be  based  on  a  fear  that  the  pleasanter  things  of 
life — art,  literature,  cultivated  manners,  personal 
distinction — would  be  obliterated  if  privilege  disap- 
peared. For  the  mass  of  men  he  seems  to  feel  there 
is  no  possibility  of  advance;  the  democratic  flood 
would  not  fructify  the  deserts,  but  only  obliterate  the 
oases.  There  is  not  enough  culture  to  go  round ;  why 
lose  what  we  have  in  a  vain  attempt  to  give  everyone 
his  share  ? 

This  frame  of  mind  is  no  more  responsive  to  the  cry 
for  liberty  than  to  that  for  democratic  equality.  The 
subordination  of  inferior  to  superior  races — right  of 
definition  being  one  of  the  privileges  of  superiority — 
is  logically  connected  with  the  subordination  of  class 
to  class.     Mr.  Balfour's  attitude  to  the  "  Celtic  fringe  " 


MR.  BALFOUR  7 


o 


springs  from  this  same  notion  of  the  world  as  a  wilder- 
ness with  a  few  cosy  corners.  Hundreds  of  kindly 
pagans  in  Roman  days  held  much  the  same  views, 
and  justified  slavery  and  the  subjugation  of  nations 
on  similar  grounds.  To  say  that  Mr.  Balfour  was 
content  with  the  old  Europe,  any  more  than  with  the 
old  England,  would  no  doubt  be  profoundly  untrue; 
he  is  far  too  intelligent  and  honest  to  be  satisfied  with 
the  pretences  that  lull  the  consciences  of  ordinary 
people  of  the  comfortable  class.  But  though  it  was 
no  doubt  all  profoundly  unsatisfactor}^,  would  stirring 
up  the  hell-broth  improve  matters  ?  As  with  all  his 
class,  quieta  non  mover e  was  to  him  the  highest 
wisdom.  The  status  quo  was  the  true  aim  of  states- 
manship, and  to  him,  as  to  Hamlet,  the  "  cursed 
spite  "  of  his  fate  was  that  the  times  were  so  out  of 
joint  as  to  compel  some  readjustment. 

Being  the  man  he  is,  it  is  to  the  credit  of  Mr.  Balfour 
that,  under  the  shock  of  reality,  he  has  had  the  can- 
dour to  revise  his  judgment.  He  does  not  like  de- 
mocracy, but  he  accepts  it,  bad  as  it  may  be,  as  better 
than  Csesarism  as  it  is  now  revealed.  He  accepted 
the  formula  of  Dr.  Wilson,  and  he  has  adhered  to  it, 
despite  the  set-back  that  doctrine  suffered  in  some 
quarters  through  the  follies  of  Bolshevism.  The 
mental  habits  of  a  lifetime  are  hard  to  break,  and  there 
are  occasions  when  Mr.  Balfour  suggests  that  if  we 
are  to  have  the  spirit  of  democracy  it  must  not  be  taken 
neat."  He  is  an  autocrat  in  his  own  department, 
and  a  very  Metternich  in  his  enthusiasm  for  the 
sacredness  of  diplomatic  mysteries.  But  no  man  is 
straighter  or  sterner  on  the  main  issue,  and  none  can 
be  found  to  unite  such  dexterity  of  method  with  such 
rigidity  of  principle. 

It  was  quite  without  feeling  against  Germany  that 
Mr.  Balfour  set  about  his  great  work  in  laying  the 


<< 


74      UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

foundations  of  the  Entente.  Like  most  educated 
Englishmen,  he  was  rather  inclined  to  German  culture, 
and  not  a  little  tolerant  to  Prussian  ambitions.  The 
Treaty  referred  to  in  Prince  Lichnowsky's  memoir 
shows  how  far  he  was  ready  to  go  in  order  to  preserve 
the  relations  of  the  Victorian  time.  When  compelled 
to  new  courses,  he  had  no  more  animus  against  Ger- 
many than  a  mathematician,  in  calculating  the  tra- 
jectory of  a  new  gun,  has  against  friction  and  the  force 
of  gravitation.  He  was  merely  taking  precautions 
as  chief  trustee  of  the  British  Commonwealth. 

But  his  blood,  if  anything  too  cold  and  temperate, 
has  been  stirred  deeply  by  the  events  of  the  war.  He 
has  the  more  loathing  for  the  Prussian  doctrine  of 
force,  because  he  was  at  one  time  rather  apt  to  admire 
it  in  its  less  hideous  manifestations.  As  a  well-bred 
man  he  is  repelled  by  German  arrogance ;  as  a  civilized 
man,  by  German  barbarity;  as  a  diplomatic  man, 
by  German  unreason.  That  quiet  stubbornness  which 
has  made  him,  on  the  whole,  a  national  liability  in 
domestic  affairs  is,  in  his  present  position,  a  national 
asset  of  prime  importance.  It  ensures  that  perhaps 
the  finest  intellectual  weapon  in  our  armoury,  guided 
by  a  perception  of  European  problems  quite  unique 
among  Englishmen,  will  be  used  without  remorse 
when  the  time  comes  for  settling  the  great  account. 


SIR  F.  E.  SMITH 

He  should,  of  course,  be  called  Sir  Frederick,  but 
there  are  two  excuses  for  retaining  the  familiar  initials. 
In  the  first  place  they  constitute  a  subtle  kind  of 
compliment,  and  the  sincere  critic  must  in  this  case  be 
thrifty  of  all  material  for  compliments.  It  is  some- 
thing of  an  achievement  for  a  modern  Smith  to  succeed 
in  impressing  his  simple  initials  on  the  public,  and 
that  "  F.  E."  has  done  so  argues  a  certain  stature. 
All  credit  to  him  that  he  did  not  try  to  ease  the  battle 
for  notoriety  by  making  himself  a  Roper,  Parkinson, 
Plantagenet,  or  Montmorency  Smith.  Perhaps  a 
negative  virtue  in  this  matter  attaches  to  godfathers 
and  godmothers,  but  we  all  know  that  their  omissions 
are  frequently  repaired  by  the  ambitious  bearer  of  a 
commonplace  name. 

In  the  second  place,  "  F.  E."  seems  oddly  suited  to 
our  Attorney-General;  much  better  suited  than  his 
inexplicable  baronetcy.  It  might,  like  its  owner, 
stand  for  anything.  It  combines  challenge  and  re- 
serve, the  adroit  union  of  which  is  largely  the  secret 
of  "  F.  E.'s  "  success.  It  suggests  the  artful  modesty 
of  a  clever  coquette,  who  knows  that  she  can  sell  best 
when  she  gives  nothing  away.  Men  can  often  be 
judged  better  (the  graphologists  notwithstanding)  by 
what  they  sign  rather  than  by  how  they  sign  them- 
selves, and  the  letters  "  F.  E.  "  are  quite  symbolical. 

"Dost  know  this  water-fly?"  Hamlet's  words 
come  trippingly  to  the  tongue  when  one  contemplates 
a  career  like  this.  Osric,  the  point-device  courtier,  is 
the  eternal  type  of  the  ephemeral.     With  as  much 

75 


76  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

difficulty  one  associates  the  idea  of  immortality  with 
"  F.  E."  It  irks  Osric  not  at  all  to  change  his  views. 
He  describes  the  weather  one  moment  as  "indifferent 
cold,"  and  the  next  as  "  very  sultr}',"  for  no  better 
reason  than  Hamlet  will  have  it  so.  And  in  this  he 
only  anticipates  "  F.  E.'s  "  attitude  to  the  British 
electorate. 

Osric  had  "  only  got  the  tune  of  the  time  and  out- 
ward habit  of  encounter."  Nobody  ever  suspected 
"  F.  E."  of  more.  Osric  knew  nothing  of  the  deeper 
causes  of  the  quarrel,  but  was  enormously  interested 
in  the  mere  rapier  play  and  the  swords  themselves, 
finding  them  "  very  dear  to  the  fancy,  very  responsive 
to  the  hilts,  most,  delicate  carriages,  and  of  a  very 
liberal  conceit."  "  F.  E."  is  equally  bored  by  the 
deeper  things  in  the  minds  of  combatants,  and  equally 
immersed  in  the  millinery  and  upholstery  of  the  lists. 
He  is  a  judge  of  "  palpable  hits,"  no  judge  at  all  of 
things  real  enough  to  be  impalpable. 

Finally  Osric  was  "  spacious  in  the  possession  of 
dirt  ";  "  F.  E."  must  be  doing  well,  too.  For  we 
must  not  think  of  the  water-fly  merely  as  a  type  of 
insignificance.  It  is  also  the  most  agile,  energetic, 
and  voracious  of  creatures,  with  a  great  instinct  for 
the  nourishment  of  its  slim  and  elegant  form.  While 
it  seems  to  be  just  dancing  for  joy  of  the  thing  it  keeps 
its  hundred-lensed  eye  on  the  main  chance.  Really, 
the  further  the  similitude  develops  the  better  it  pleases. 
For  example,  how  quickly  the  water-fly  passes  through 
the  stages  from  grubdom  to  maturity  !     And  it  stings. 

"  F.  E."  stings.  His  sting  is  perhaps  his  chief 
feature ;  at  any  rate  he  owes  to  it  most  of  the  great- 
ness that  has  descended  upon  him  and  now  threatens, 
extinguisher-like,  to  press  him  down  altogether.  By 
virtue  of  it  he  has  become  Attorney-General,  a  baronet 
of  the  United  Kingdom,  a  Bencher  of  his  Inn,  one  of 


SIR  F.  E.  SMITH  77 

His  Majesty's  Counsel  officially  (and  therefore,  of 
course,  accurately)  described  as  learned  in  the  law,  a 
Privy  Councillor,  and  a  Lieutenant-Colonel  in  the 
Army.  By  vice  of  it  he  may  yet  have  a  fall.  But 
thus  far  the  capacity  of  uttering  pungent  impromptus, 
the  rarer  capacity  of  sitting  up  half  the  night  to  invent 
them,  has  brought  to  the  briefless  barrister  of  twelve 
years  or  so  ago  all  the  outward  show  of  greatness. 
Examining  this  pomp  a  little  closely  we  may  detect 
signs  of  Master  Shallow's  borrowed  doublet  stuffed 
out  with  straw;  but  the  world  is  not  over-critical,  and 
there  are,  perhaps,  some  who  still  think  "  F.  E."  a 
great  statesman  and  a  profound  lawyer.  But  the 
first  class  are  now  sparely  represented  at  Westminster, 
and  the  second  have  never  inhabited  the  Temple. 

The  bubble  of  "  F.  E.'s  "  reputation  was  blown  by 
a  single  emission  of  the  breath,  though  heaven  alone 
knows  what  anxious  thought  went  to  the  compound- 
ing of  the  parent  mixture.  There  are  secrets  of 
political  alchemy  that  must  be  jealously  kept  from 
the  vulgar.  Like  Disraeli,  whom  he  took  for  his 
model,  "  F.  E."  became  famous  through  a  single 
speech.  It  was  not  a  very  good  speech.  Read  in 
cold  blood  to-day  it  is  found  not  a  little  schoolboyish 
in  its  studied  provocation,  its  sixth-form  satire,  and 
its  elegantly  insincere  scorn.  Only  those  who  heard 
it  can  understand  why,  when  the  slim,  well-tailored, 
dandyish  young  man  with  the  long,  pale  face  and  the 
arrogant  lips  had  sat  down  in  a  tumult  of  cheers,  the 
lobbies  buzzed  with  excited  wonderment  over  the 
discovery  of  a  new  fighting  leader  on  the  Unionist  side. 

But  if  the  speech  was  in  no  sense  that  of  a  great 
man,  however  immature,  it  was  eminently  that  of  a 
very  clever  tactician.  It  acted  like  a  charm  on  the 
small  Unionist  remnant  that  had  escaped  the  rout  of 
1906.     In  its  gay  insolence  and  cheery  defiance  it 


78  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

contrasted  brilliantly  with  the  savage  gloom  of  Mr. 
Chamberlain  and  the  depressing  fatalism  of  Mr. 
Balfour.  It  restored  the  instinct  of  fight — especially 
important  in  the  case  of  men  with  nothing  very 
obvious  to  fight  for.  Nobody  believes  now — perhaps 
few  believed  even  then — that  the  young  M.P.  for 
Walton  spoke  from  anywhere  far  behind  his  teeth. 
But  the  sick  man  inclines  rather  to  the  quack  who 
gives  him  an  energizer  than  to  the  physician  who 
recommends  a  long  course  of  low  living,  and  "  F.  E.," 
though  largely  responsible  for  leading  the  Tory  Party 
through  strange  places,  was  remembered  only  for  the 
draught  that  revived  while  it  poisoned. 

The  young  lawyer  had  treated  the  House  of  Com- 
mons like  a  jury,  with  a  single  eye  to  the  verdict, 
and  he  got  it.  Two  worlds  were  henceforth  his  oyster. 
The  briefs  came  trooping  gaily  to  his  chambers,  and 
there  was  little  he  might  not  hope  for  in  politics  if  only 
the  Liberal  majority  could  be  whittled  away  to  nothing. 
The  levity  with  which  he  went  about  the  task  of 
reduction  can  only  be  explained  by  reference  to  the 
habits  of  water-flies.  The}7  may  incidentally  enjoy 
stinging,  buzzing,  and  darting  from  point  to  point; 
but  all  these  things  have  a  quite  definite  purpose;  if 
water-flies  possess  no  very  consistent  theory  of  life 
they  have  a  deep-seated  instinct  for  living. 

It  is  only  just  to  admit  that  "  F.  E."  played  a  big 
and  dangerous  game  with  great  skill.  But  he  is,  for 
all  that,  hardly  a  player  in  the  great  manner.  Spiritu- 
ally, he  has  affinities  with  the  Churchills,  father  and 
son;  he  is  all  for  the  legitimate  gamble.  But  he  does 
not  stake  his  shirt  on  a  number  at  the  roulette  table, 
though  he  might  perhaps  stake  an  incifferent  party's 
whole  wardrobe;  he  is  rather  for  "  first  and  third 
dozen  "  and  other  games  where,  if  you  have  a  cool 
head  and  a  system,  you  may  win  a  good  deal,  and 


SIR  F.  E.  SMITH  79 

can  hardly  be  ruined.  The  Scottish  lord  in  "  The 
Fortunes  of  Nigel  "  had  the  same  talent,  and  acquired 
something  of  the  same  reputation.  For  by  this  time 
nobody  quite  trusts  "  F.  E."  He  is  too  cautiously 
violent  to  please  his  friends  or  to  terrify  his  foes. 

"  F.  E."  is  a  daredevil  with  reservations.  For 
pretty  well  any  cause  he  is  ready  to  die  in  the  last 
ditch,  but  he  holds  himself  free  to  decide  which  is  the 
last  ditch,  and  how  the  final  sacrifice  shall  be  made. 
It  would  really  be  very  interesting  to  know  exactly 
what  Sir  Edward  Carson,  who  has  none  of  this 
light  Jesuitry,  thinks  of  him  to-day.  Five  years 
ago  "  F.  E."  was  gallantly  conjugating  the  verb  "  to 
gallop."  "  You  gallop;  they  gallop;  let  us  all 
gallop;  but  especially  I  will  gallop."  There  never 
was  so  mad  a  fellow  since  Master  Shallow  lay  at 
Clement's  Inn.  Others  might  occasionally  shiver  at 
the  idea  of  civil  strife  in  earnest.  It  is  only  right  to 
suppose  that  the  Londonderrys  and  Carsons  sometimes 
had  misgivings.  Not  so  our  doughty  Templar.  He 
was  always  buoyant.  "  Civil  war — certainly.  Red 
ruin  and  the  breaking  up  of  laws — why,  my  dear  sir, 
wait  till  we  get  really  well  started.  Of  course  it  will 
be  a  nuisance — I  shall  probably  have  to  give  up  my 
huntin' — but  if  the  Rads  persist,  something  must  flow. 
I  hope  it  will  not  be  human  gore." 

jYet  "  F.  E.,"  with  all  his  anxiety  to  burn  his  boats, 
worked  hard  to  insure  them  before  applying  the  torch. 
Probably  no  man  had  moments  of  more  acute  anxiety 
in  1914,  when  it  seemed  possible  that  he  must  either 
gallop  in  earnest  or  betray;  no  man,  it  is  safe  to  say, 
more  sincerely  welcomed  the  Party  truce  which  gave 
him  an  opportunity  of  getting  safely  out  of  his  Ulster 
saddle.  Since  then  there  is  no  evidence  that  he  has 
given  a  second  thought  to  his  dear  and  dour  friends. 

I  was  once  defending  our  political  system  against 
a  cynic.     I  held,  perhaps  rashly,  that  principles  still 


80  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 


counted .  My  friend  at  once  asked  :  ' '  What  particular 
principle  does  '  F.  E.' — who  is  a  very  typical  politician 
— stand  for  ?"  And  I  was  at  a  loss  to  answer.  There 
may  be  points,  hitherto  unrevealed,  on  which  he  feels 
deeply.  Perhaps  he  is  not  entirely  happy  with  his 
party;  he  has  sometimes  given  hints  of  a  languid 
speculative  preference  for  a  less  negative  creed. 
Some  truth  there  may  be  in  the  old  story  that  he  tossed 
with  Sir  John  Simon  at  Oxford  as  to  which  side  each 
should  take,  as  one  party  could  not  contain  both. 
"  F.  E."  lost,  and  went  in  for  Unionism.  Certainly  his 
success  has  been  bought  at  a  not  inconsiderable  price. 
Conservatism  always  treats  its  leaders  as  valets,  and 
more  than  once  "  F.  E."  has  been  made  to  feel  his 
position  in  conflict  with  the  Wellbore-Wellbores  of  his 
party.  He  is  a  proud  man  and  a  sensitive,  and  such 
earn  all  they  get  in  this  employment. 

Still,  it  may  be  well  doubted  if  he  is  fit  for  any 
other.  There  is  one  infallible  touchstone  to-day  for 
men  of  affairs.  Are  they  mere  creatures  of  the 
moment,  or  have  they  some  touch  with  the  eternal  ? 
Their  attitude  towards  the  full  policy  of  President 
Wilson — its  refusal  to  parley  with  evil  no  less  than  its 
search  for  a  healing  formula — distinguishes  statesmen 
as  the  sheep  are  separated  from  the  goats.  Every  fool 
can  point  out  the  difficulties  of  that  policy,  but  every 
truly  wise  man  knows  that  those  difficulties  must 
either  be  conquered,  or  they  will  conquer  mankind. 

Sir  F.  E.  Smith  left  his  not  unimportant  office  as 
chief  legal  adviser  to  the  Crown  to  go  propagandizing 
in  America.  He  returned  in  circumstances  of  some 
mystery.  According  to  his  own  published  statements 
his  mission  was  wholly  a  success.  Yet  there  are  those 
who  still  doubt.  The}r  base  their  judgment  on  no 
isolated  incident,  but  on  the  general  incompatibility 
of  so  light  a  temperament  with  the  tremendous 
earnestness  of  the  great  Republic. 


MR.  BONAR  LAW 

There  is  no  very  obvious  connection  between  Mr. 
Bonar  Law  and  the  Ancient  Mariner.  Yet  the  last 
time  I  saw  the  Leader  of  the  House  of  Commons,  a 
depressed  figure  on  the  Treasury  Bench,  somehow 
suggesting  in  his  gloomy  preoccupation  a  political 
Eugene  Aram  with  moral  gyves  upon  his  wrists,  the 
lines  of  Coleridge  came  unbidden  to  my  mind  : 

"  Like  one  that  on  a  lonesome  road 

Doth  walk  in  fear  and  dread, 
And,  having  once  turned  round,  walks  on. 

And  turns  no  more  his  head  ; 
Because  he  knows  a  frightful  fiend 

Does  close  behind  him  tread." 

It  is  of  that  fiend  which  clogs  Mr.  Law  in  his  earnest 
attempts  to  walk  straight  that  one  must  mostly  speak 
in  dealing  with  him.  As  the  case  of  Ireland  reminds 
us,  the  chief  importance  of  the  past  is  that  it  is  nine- 
tenths  of  the  present.  It  would  be  a  pleasant  task  to 
discuss  Mr.  Bonar  Law  only  as  a  War  Minister.  We 
could  then  speak  of  him  as  one  who  has  worked,  not 
always  wisely,  but  well ;  we  could  acknowledge  cheer- 
fully that  of  the  few  politicians  who  have  emerged 
from  the  great  test  with  enhanced  reputations  he  is 
one;  we  could  pay  tribute  to  his  io3'-alty  to  engage- 
ments, his  unselfish  co-operation  with  men  he  has 
never  liked,  his  acquiescence  in  measures  little  to  his 
taste,  his  honest  desire  to  sink  all  personal  prejudices 
for  the  common  cause. 

Certainly  such  commendation  would  be  given  with 
due  qualification.     Mr.  Law  is  in  no  sense  a  great 

81  fl 


82  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

Minister.  His  abilities,  though  useful,  are  eminently 
ordinary.  The  whole  tone  of  his  mind  is  common- 
place. He  lacks  almost  every  essential  of  a  leader  of 
men,  and  has  often  shown  himself  unequal  to  the  quite 
measurable  task  of  controlling  that  small  mob  of 
men  called  the  House  of  Commons.  But,  on  the  other 
hand,  he  is,  according  to  his  lights,  thoroughly 
straightforward,  and  not,  as  politicians  go,  a  self- 
seeker.  If  there  were  only  his  war  record  to  be  con- 
sidered, little  need  be  said  of  him.  Decent  mediocrity 
is  a  sterile  text. 

But,  unhappily,  the  main  fact  concerning  Mr.  Bonar 
Law  is  not  himself.  It  is  not  the  haunted  man,  but 
the  thing  that  haunts  him,  that  matters  most.  It  is 
the  fiend,  not  the  constrained  wayfarer,  that  occupies 
the  centre  of  our  picture.  To  drop  parable,  it  would 
be  a  very  small  matter  whether  Mr.  Bonar  Law,  as  a 
human  individual,  remained  to  pursue  his  course  of 
small  usefulness  in  the  Government,  or  made  way  for 
someone  not  much  better  or  much  worse.  But  during 
all  these  months  of  war  there  has  been  a  fearful 
danger  involved  in  his  relations  to  his  party  and  his 
party's  relations  to  Sir  Edward  Carson. 

jThat  danger  has  been  aggravated  by  the  very 
honesty  which  is  one  of  the  most  agreeable  features 
of  Mr.  Law's  character.  "  The  construction  of  his 
mind,"  says  a  witty  observer,  "  has  no  shadows,  or 
ingle-nooks,  or  cosy  corners."  He  is  upright  and 
downstraight,  without  a  savour  of  double  entendre  in 
his  nature,  innocent  of  artifice  in  little  things  as  well 
as  great.  It  was  his  large  innocence,  more  than  any- 
thing else,  that  delivered  Mr.  Law  into  the  hands  of 
the  Carsonites,  and  has  kept  him  there.  Mr.  Balfour 
had  for  years  played  with  Ulster,  as  he  had  played 
with  Tariff  Reform,  without  committing  himself.  Mr. 
Law  had  scarcely  assumed  the  leadership  before  Mr. 


MB.  BONAR  LAW  83 

Asquith  could  truly  say  that  the  new  "  dogma  of 
anarchy  "  had  been  "  countersigned  by  all  the  leading 
men  of  the  Tory  Party." 

jVery  skilfully  Sir  Edward  Carson  transferred  from 
his  own  shoulders  to  those  of  an  English  statesman  the 
burden  of  responsibility  for  everything  that  might 
happen,  until  at  last  Mr.  Law  was  definitely  pledged 
to  support  Ulster  in  her  resistance  to  Home  Rule, 
even  though  the  keeping  of  that  pledge  might  involve 
'  something  more  than  making  speeches."  Such  was 
the  situation  before  the  war.  It  would  be  ungracious 
and  mischievous  to  recall  these  facts  if  the  past  were 
not  still  very  much  the  present.  The  pledge,  given 
with  reckless  straightforwardness,  was  not  withdrawn 
when  the  Ulster  lunacy  was  dwarfed  by  a  greater  peril. 
Instead  of  making  himself  a  free  man,  Mr.  Law,  mis- 
led by  that  imperious  integrity  of  his,  bound  himself 
with  new  fetters.  Having  tied  his  party  hand  and 
foot  to  the  chariot  of  Sir  Edward  Carson,  he  proceeded 
to  bind  himself  with  chains  as  tyrannous  to  his  party. 
He  entered  the  Coalition  pledged  to  retain  office  only 
so  long  as  the  majority  of  the  party  approved  of  his 
leadership.  The  consequences  have  been  seen,  or 
rather  felt,  during  more  than  three  unhappy  years. 
Nobody  took  the  party  truce  more  seriously  than  Mr. 
Bonar  Law.  None  tried  more  consistently  to  observe 
it  in  letter  and  spirit.  None  risked  more,  in  personal 
position,  for  it.  But  he  failed  to  take  the  only  steps 
which  could  have  made  his  good  intentions  really 
operative.  He  did  not  free  himself  or  his  party  from 
the  past.  The  party — or  rather  that  section  of  it 
which  has  usurped  power — has  followed  Sir  Edward 
Carson,  and  Mr.  Law  has  followed  the  party. 

Enough  has  already  happened  to  show  how  great 
a  misfortune  was  the  absence  of  strength,  sanity,  and 
self-control  in  the  Tory  leadership  during  those  fateful 


84  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

years  before  the  war.  But  for  the  Ulster  alliance, 
indeed,  the  whole  course  of  events  during  the  past  four 
years  might  have  been  different.  Blame  lies  on  all 
parties  and  on  nearly  all  individuals,  but  the  heaviest 
indictment  at  the  bar  of  history  must  be  answered  by 
one  man.  On  Sir  Edward  Carson  rests  much  respon- 
sibility for  all  the  blood  split  in  the  Sinn  Fein  rebellion, 
for  the  wrecking  of  all  the  fair  hopes  of  Irish  unity, 
for  the  loss  of  Irish  battalions,  for  grave  moral  injury 
to  the  Allied  cause,  and — to  descend  from  the  great 
to  the  very  small — for  the  mutilation  of  Mr.  Bonar 
Law's  public  usefulness. 

It  may  be  questioned,  however,  whether,  even 
apart  from  this  malign  influence,  Mr.  Law  is  fitted  for 
any  great  share  in  such  a  struggle  as  the  present.  His 
modest  parts  might  suffice  if  the}r  were  reinforced 
by  great  and  animating  ideals.  But  Mr.  Law  unites 
a  hot  head  with  cold  feet.  There  is  a  sterilizing  touch 
of  pessimism  in  his  character.  He  may  have  large 
charity.  He  has  little  faith  or  hope.  He  confessed 
once  that  he  was  an  "  enthusiast  "  for  Tariff  Reform, 
but  it  is  highly  characteristic  that  he  espied  the  road 
to  that  Eldorado  in  "  two  bad  winters."  His  enthu- 
siasm for  any  wider  cause  is  not  very  obvious.  Fight- 
ing autocracy,  he  seems  to  yield  it  the  tribute  of 
a  despairing  admiration.  Everybody  remembers  his 
anticipative  dirge  (in  the  form  of  a  vote  of  congratu- 
lation) on  the  Russian  Revolution.  It  rather  resem- 
bled the  speech  of  a  morose  bachelor  uncle  at  a 
christening:  "  A  fine  child,  you  say.  Yes.  But  I've 
always  heard  that  the  finest  children  are  most  sus- 
ceptible to  whooping  cough,  measles,  thrush,  and 
diphtheria  in  their  infancy,  and  to  consumption, 
paralysis,  and  spinal  complaints  as  they  grow  into 
adolescence." 

How  far  the  Girondists  of  Russia  were  helped  by 


MR.  BONAR  LAW  85 

this  singular  (and  unhappily  prophetic)  tribute  history 
does  not  relate.  It  certainly  depressed  the  spirits 
of  friends  of  liberty  in  England.  Some  time  later, 
again,  Mr.  Law  indulged  in  melancholy  musings  on 
the  futility  of  that  freedom  on  which  President  Wilson 
and  others  set  much  store.  "  Democratic  institutions 
with  free  Parliaments,"  he  said,  "  are  not  the  best 
instruments  for  carrying  on  a  war."  There  is  an 
old  saying  (which  happens  also  to  be  true)  that  the 
bad  workman  always  complains  of  his  tools.  Mr. 
Law  surely  cannot  with  grace  accuse  the  weakness  of 
some  forms  of  representative  government.  Exactly 
what  results  Mr.  Law  would  achieve  with  the  powers 
of  a  Bismarck  must  remain  a  matter  of  speculation. 
But  it  is  pretty  certain  what  a  Bismarck  would  have 
done  with  Mr.  Law  himself  four  or  five  years  ago. 

We  need  not  discuss  whether  Great  Britain  is  really 
"  democratic,"  or  how  far  the  German  Government 
has  enjoyed  greater  freedom  than  our  own  to  dispose 
of  life  and  libert}'.  Certainly  no  German  Minister 
has  dared  to  impose  taxation  comparable  to  that  which 
the  House  of  Commons  and  the  nation  have  accepted 
with  resignation  and  even  with  applause.  It  is 
certain,  too,  that  "  democratic  institutions  "  have  not 
prevented  the  United  States  making  war  with  great 
vigour.  Perhaps  Mr.  Law  means  that  under  our 
own  peculiar  system  there  is  no  way  of  dealing  with 
mischievous  people  who  hrppen  to  have  behind  them 
great  social  influence  or  voting  power.  That  charac- 
teristic weakness  has  certainty  had  signal  illustration 
of  late  years.  But  an  impeachment  of  our  institutions 
on  such  grounds  should  surety  come  from  another 
quarter. 

This  rather  suburban  cant  about  the  defects  of 
"  democracy  " — a  system  yet  to  be  tried  in  this 
country — may  be  simply  borrowed  from  men  with  a 


86      UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

deeper  political  philosophy  than  Mr.  Law's.  He  is 
himself  no  aristocrat,  and,  to  do  him  justice,  no  snob. 
He  does  not  decry  "  democracy  "  on  the  genteel 
grounds  of  a  similar  faith  in  Wimbledon  or  Maiden- 
head. But  he  seems  to  take  Carlyle  and  his  "  great- 
man  "  notions  rather  more  seriously  than  younger 
men,  and,  like  most  patriots  of  his  generation,  is 
steeped  in  second-hand  and  second-rate  German 
thought.  Sedan  was  more  than  a  victory  over  the 
French  Arnry;  it  was  the  crowning  triumph  of  the 
German  spirit.  For  forty  years  France  plunged  into 
pessimism,  and  England  into  something  worse,  a  kind 
of  despairing  admiration  of  the  pickelhaube  in  things 
both  material  and  spiritual.  It  became  the  mark  of  a 
patriotic  Englishman  to  wish  his  country  more  like 
Germany.  The  part  of  an  enlightened  citizen  was  to 
depreciate  England  and  exalt  "  German  methods." 
In  his  character  of  Tariff  Reformer  Mr.  Law  followed 
a  bad  fashion  with  special  zeal,  and  it  would  almost 
seem  that  in  fighting  Germany  he  has  not  ceased  to 
admire  her.  This  spirit,  so  common  in  our  ruling  men, 
happity  so  rare  in  the  ruled,  lies  at  the  root  of  that 
servile  labouring  to  follow  a  German  lead  which  was 
the  most  conspicuous  and  disastrous  folly  in  the 
earlier  stages  of  the  war.  Bernhardi  has  described 
such  imitation  of  externals  as  the  surest  sign  of  in- 
capacity, and  indeed  common  sense  rejects  the  notion 
of  fighting  anything  with  "  its  own  weapons."  As 
Mr.  Chesterton  has  put  it,  who  scratches  a  tiger  or 
bites  a  shark  ? 

But  this  lack  of  sympathy  with  older  English  ideas 
is  only  part  of  the  general  foreignness  of  Mr.  Law's 
outlook  and  personalit}-.  He  refuses  to  recognize 
Irish  nationality,  and  really  Mr.  Dillon  is  as  English 
as  he.  He  represents  the  denationalization  of  English 
Toryism,  as  well  as  its  temporary  conquest  by  the 


MR.  BONAR  LAW  87 

merely  urban — one  might  almost  say  suburban — 
elements.  He  has  never  been  regarded  by  the  people 
who  still  are  the  real  strength  of  the  Tory  Party  as 
more  than  a  stop-gap.  Squiredom  and  farmerdom 
are  even  yet  bewildered  (as  well  they  may  be)  that 
this  Canadian-born  Glasgow  iron  merchant,  landless, 
Presbyterian,  and  teetotal,  should  stand  for  them. 
Mr.  Law  occupies  a  position  rather  analogous  to  that 
of  Lord  Rosebery  when  official  head  of  the  Liberal 
Party — he  is  only  recognized  with  reservations.  The 
ordinary  Tory  is  told  that  Mr.  Law  is  leader,  and  must 
have  his  way,  and  internally  answers,  like  Talleyrand 
to  the  poet,  "Je  ne  vois  pas  la  necessity."  Mr.  Law 
is  uneasily  conscious  of  the  essential  falsity  of  his 
position ;  he  knows  that  the  unstable  equilibrium 
resulting  from  the  temporary  defeat  of  Hatfield  by 
Birmingham  cannot  indefinitely  endure;  and  this 
consciousness  is  at  the  root  of  half  the  trouble. 

A  leader  more  sure  of  his  right  would  have  shaken 
himself  free  of  the  pledge  to  the  Carsonites;  would 
never  have  consented  to  enter  a  Cabinet,  like  a  trade 
union  delegate,   with  his   resignation   (so   to   speak) 
written  out  beforehand ;  would  have  been  bound  by 
no   instructions   in   setting   out   to   navigate   an   un- 
charted sea.     It  may   be  added  that  such  a  leader 
would  not  have  consented  to  Mr.  Law's  present  posi- 
tion in  the  House  of  Commons  as  the  mere  mouth- 
piece of  a  body  consisting  mainly  of  his  own  nominal 
subordinates  who  sometimes  tell  him  things  and  some- 
times do  not.     The  duties  of  that  anomalous  position 
he  has  carried  out  manfully,  and  with  a  certain  skill. 
His  Parliamentary  manner  has  immensely  improved 
in  the  process,  though  he  still  occasionally  lapses  into 
the  "new  style"  of  his  Opposition  leadership.     His 
own  special  work  has  been  well  done  on  the  whole. 
He   is    not    a    great    Chancellor    of   the    Exchequer, 


88  UNCEXSORED  CELEBRITIES 

but  there  is  a  businesslike  neatness  in  his  methods, 
contrasting  well  with  the  grandiose  messiness  of  a  more 
vivid  personality. 

This  efficiency  is,  indeed,  his  strong  side.  In  him 
industry  and  cool  common  sense  in  some  small  things 
contrast  oddly  with  strong  delusion  in  many  great 
things.  He  is  a  composite  of  Don  Quixote  and 
Sancho  Panza,  in  which  the  knightly  side  is  also  the 
prose  side.  The  qualities  which  make  him  a  useful 
Minister  would  never  have  made  him  a  party  leader. 
The  qualities  which  made  him  a  party  leader  have  led 
him  into  entanglements  which  seriously  diminish  his 
usefulness  as  a  Minister. 


MR.  REGINALD  McKENNA 

If,  by  choice  or  chance,  you  should  happen  to  lose 
yourself  behind  Westminster  Abbey — and  there  are 
worse  places  for  the  straying  philosopher — you  are 
prett}'  certain  to  find  yourself  in  Smith  Square. 

Supposing  that  \rou  affect  only  the  picturesque,  you 
will  get  out  of  it  as  soon  as  may  be;  if  you  have  a 
leaning  to  the  study  of  social  phenomena  the  chances 
are  you  will  be  interested.  It  is  not  a  large  square 
or  a  handsome  one;  there  is  no  bloom  of  old  red-brick 
or  freshness  of  verdure  to  delight  the  eye;  the  houses, 
handsome  in  their  way,  are  too  new  and  too  exposed 
to  have  the  delicious  cosiness  of  Cowley  Street  just 
round  the  corner.  The  Abbey  is  quite  close  at  hand, 
but  the  characteristic  flavour  of  Smith  Square  is  not 
the  dust  of  medievalism ;  it  is  rather  straw  and  grit 
from  the  Horseferry  Road,  and  the  aroma  of  manure 
barges  on  the  river,  against  which  the  scents  of  a  new 
and  rather  raw  civilization  maintain  a  hopeless 
struggle.  Not  two  hundred  yards  away  is  slumdom 
unmitigated.  But  Smith  Square,  save  in  that  matter 
of  flavour,  is  morally  distant  as  if  a  broad  province  lay 
between.  There  are  certain  streets  leading  from  it 
where  you  may  occupy  a  house  "  replete,"  as  the 
agents  say  (and  we  wish  they  wouldn't)  "  with  every 
modern  convenience,"  and  have  for  your  literal  next- 
door  neighbours  four  hunger-smitten  families  living 
in  a  frowsy  tumbledown  den.  These  thoroughfares 
are  passing  through  the  transition  stage,  which  in  the 
case  of  Smith  Square  has  been  happily  completed. 
There  the  rich  middle  class  has  not  quite  pushed  out 

89 


90      UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

the  proletarian,  and  must  at  least  recognize  his  phy- 
sical existence.  In  Smith  Square  it  is  different ;  the 
process  is  complete.  St.  John's  Wood  has  as  much 
in  common  with  Lisson  Grove  as  Smith  Square  with 
poor  Westminster. 

At  Number  36  lives  Mr.  Reginald  McKenna,  late 
Chancellor  of  the  Exchequer.  If  you  have  a  nodding 
acquaintance  with  Mr.  McKenna  you  might  almost 
pick  out  the  house.  It  seems  extremely  natural  that 
Mr.  McKenna,  model  of  the  high  bourgeoisie,  and 
therefore  rather  farther  removed  from  the  common 
run  of  men  and  women  than  any  Sir  Leicester  Ded- 
lock,  should  have  chosen  Smith  Square  for  his  town 
house.  But  it  is  more  than  natural — it  seems  inevit- 
able— that,  having  chosen  Smith  Square,  he  should 
live  in  Number  36.  The  house  is  so  like  him.  It  is 
solid,  efficient,  advantageously  placed,  built  of  the 
very  best  pressed  bricks,  irreproachably  British,  and 
a  little  forbidding  in  its  aggressive  freshness.  Go 
inside,  and  you  will  find  every  evidence  of  taste  and 
education;  the  Persian  carpets  and  the  English 
classics  will  be  of  the  best ;  there  will  be  the  due  touch 
of  old  culture  to  correct  the  oiled  smoothness  of 
modern  convenience;  and  yet — well,  if  you  happen  to 
be  fanciful  you  will  feel  the  grit  just  as  you  did  outside. 

For  grit,  in  both  senses,  enters  into  the  very  being 
of  Mr.  Reginald  McKenna.  He  showed  grit  when 
he  rowed  bow  for  Cambridge  in  the  famous  victory  of 
1887,  an  occasion  as  important  as  any  in  his  life.  He 
showed  grit  in  the  years  between  1895  and  1906,  when 
he  clung  to  the  House  of  Commons,  though  the  pros- 
pects were  none  too  good  for  a  highly  practical  and 
go-ahead  young  man.  He  showed  grit  in  every  office 
he  held .  He  was  a  minor  success  as  Financial  Secre- 
tary to  the  Treasury.  But  he  did  not  hesitate  to  risk 
this  limited  reputation  by  taking  the  Board  of  Educa- 


MR.  REGINALD  McKENNA  91 

tion  after  Mr.  Birrell  had  failed  to  conquer  or  conciliate 
the  raging  clerical.  At  the  Admiralty  he  stubbornly 
held  his  own  against  those  who  wanted  many  Dread- 
noughts and  those  who  wanted  none.  As  Home 
Secretary  he  bore  with  stoicism  a  load  of  unpopularity 
which  would  have  crushed  a  more  sensitive  man  : 
Suffragists,  Labour  men,  the  Bishop  of  St.  Asaph, 
and  the  Daily  Mail,  furious  crank  and  fiery  anti-Hun, 
made  no  impression  on  his  adamantine  nerve.  Prob- 
ably he  never  lost  an  hour's  sleep  over  all  of  them. 
At  an}T  rate,  he  survived  to  make,  as  Chancellor  of 
the  Exchequer  in  the  first  Coalition  Ministry,  the  first 
businesslike  War  Budget,  and  only  resigned  office 
when  Mr.  Asquith  was  driven  out. 

Grit,  in  the  complimentary  sense,  cannot  be  denied 
to  a  statesman  with  such  a  record.  But  Mr.  McKenna 
is  gritty  in  another  way;  there  is  something  really 
disconcerting  in  his  matter-of-fact  composition. 
Every  writer,  sooner  or  later,  refers  to  the  iron  hand 
in  the  velvet  glove.  Mr.  McKenna's  glove  is  made  of 
emery  paper,  and  there  is  a  scratchiness  even  in  his 
geniality.  His  intellect  might  be  geologically  classi- 
fied as  old  red  sandstone.  At  Cambridg  he  wooed 
the  "  cross-grained  muses  of  the  cube  and  square  " 
with  success,  but  it  would  be  ridiculous  to  speak  of 
him,  as  some  have  clone,  as  a  great  mathematician. 
The  highest  in  that  kind  is  not  destitute  of  a  kind  of 
poetry,  and  there  is  less  poetry  in  Mr.  Reginald 
McKenna  than  in  Mr.  Kipling.  His  mathematics  are 
those  of  the  actuary;  there  are  scores  of  men  in  banks 
and  accountants'  offices  of  at  least  equal  attainments. 
But  politicians  who  go  farther  than  the  rule  of  three 
are  exceptional,  and  any  little  aridity  there  might  be 
in  the  by-products  of  Mr.  McKenna's  mind  was  com- 
pensated by  his  real  understanding  of  figures.  One 
might  summarize  the  matter  by  saying  that  he  has 


92  UNCENSOEED  CELEBRITIES 

succeeded  by  being  something  of  a  man  and  a  good 
deal  of  a  ready-reckoner.  He  has  never  lacked 
courage  of  a  sort,  he  has  played  the  party  game  with 
more  straightness  and  loyalty  than  a  good  many,  he 
hits  straight  from  the  shoulder,  and  he  has  that 
happy  lack  of  humour  which  saves  a  man  from  being 
hurt  either  by  self-criticism  or  the  satires  of  opponents. 
On  his  business  side  he  is  methodical  in  getting  up  a 
case,  neat  in  his  exposition,  and  masculine  in  his  con- 
tempt for  rhetorical  fiddle-faddle — unless  he  avoids  it 
because  he  knows  he  could  not  manage  it  well.  His 
defects  are  the  complement  of  his  qualities ;  he  lacks 
breadth,  humanity,  and  enthusiasm;  he  is  more  out 
of  touch  with  life  and  ideas  than  a  Blue-Book. 

Such  men  often  go  far  under  any  constitution. 
There  were  McKennas  in  Stuart  England  and  in 
Bourbon  France,  whose  eminence  is  a  puzzle  to  the 
historian  exploring  in  vain  all  contemporary  record 
to  find  a  single  phrase  or  action  to  mark  them  as  extra- 
ordinary. There  are  probably  McKennas  even  in 
China.  The  type  flourishes  on  the  whole  better  under 
autocratic  conditions;  a  clever  monarch  uses  men  of 
the  kind  for  his  particular  purpose,  and  decisively 
excludes  them  as  general  counsellors;  Colbert  is  given 
his  head  in  finance,  but  must  not  meddle  with  high 
policy.  Under  our  system,  absurdly  enough,  a  per- 
fect multiplication  table  of  a  man  has  to  pretend  that 
he  wants  more  voters  or  fewer  public-houses.  Still, 
there  must  be  in  every  Government  people  who  do 
know  the  drier  elements  of  public  business,  and  it  is 
easy  to  understand  the  value  set  on  Mr.  McKenna 
once  he  had  reached  the  position  of  a  possible  Under- 
Secretary.  But,  as  in  the  case  of  the  fly  in  amber,  a 
good  many  people  have  wondered  how  he  got  there. 
The  story  is  worth  repeating  as  an  illustration  of  the 
chancy  methods  of  our  political  recruiting. 


MR.  REGINALD  M  KENNA  93 

It  has  been  mentioned  that  young  McKenna  was  bow 
in  the  victorious  Cambridge  boat  in  the  year  1887. 
The  late  Sir  Charles  Dilke  was  as  keen  on  rowing  as 
on  things  intellectual  and  political,  and  never  allowed 
a  good  oar  to  escape  him.  McKenna  was  much  on 
the  Thames  after  leaving  the  Cam,  and  the  riverside 
intimacy  between  him  and  Sir  Charles  ripened  into 
one  of  those  pathetic  friendships  which  often  subsist 
between  disappointed  men  and  young  people  in  whom 
they  see  something  to  remind  them  of  their  earlier 
selves.  Sir  Charles  and  his  protege  had  a  good  many 
points  in  common.  The  elder  man  possessed  vastly 
more  talent,  but  the  younger  one  had  enough  of  his 
more  sober  qualities  to  make  patronage  a  subtle  kind 
of  self-praise.  It  was  a  mutual  affair,  like  the  some- 
what similar  friendship  of  Wycherley  and  Pope. 
Dilke 's  interest  was  flattering  to  a  young  man  fresh 
from  the  Universit}^.  McKenna 's  reverence  was 
soothing  to  a  man  of  Dilke 's  bitter  experience.  Dilke 
found,  after  years  of  waiting,  that  though  he  might 
return  to  the  Commons  he  could  not  return  to  official 
politics ;  there  were  influences  too  strong  to  be  over- 
come. He  had,  however,  a  hold  on  the  official  politi- 
cians, and,  if  he  could  not  get  the  promise  of  a  place, 
the  embargo  did  not  apply  to  his  adopted  political 
son.  There  was  a  tacit  understanding  that  when  the 
opening  came  the  man  in  readiness  should  not  be 
overlooked.  Thus  it  happened  that  when  "  C.-B."  too 
took  office  in  1905  Mr.  Reginald  McKenna  figured  in 
his  first  list  of  Ministers.  Had  he  been  thrice  the  man 
he  was  without  that  pull,  he  would  have  remained 
private  member  for  the  North  Monmouthshire  con- 
stituency which  he  has  represented  for  twenty-three 
years.  With  that  pull  he  started  on  a  ladder  which 
a  man  of  his  character  and  qualifications  was  bound 
to  climb. 


94  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

His  talents,  such  as  they  were,  were  highly  appre- 
ciated by  his  official  chiefs.  There  is  a  story  that  Mr. 
Asquith  actually  appointed  Mr.  McKenna  as  Chan- 
cellor of  the  Exchequer  when  he  himself  gave  up  the 
Treasury  on  becoming  Prime  Minister,  but  that  Mr. 
Lloyd  George,  jealous  of  his  rights,  threatened  trouble 
unless  the  choice  was  revoked  in  his  favour.  Had 
Mr.  Asquith  stood  to  his  guns — assuming  the  truth 
of  the  story — the  whole  history  of  the  years  between 
1908  and  1 914  might  have  been  different.  It  is 
possible  for  men  like  Mr.  McKenna  to  create  revo- 
lutions without  knowing  it ;  Grenville,  a  man  of  some- 
what similar  type,  actually  did  so.  But  he  would 
certainly  never  have  ventured  consciously  into  deep 
waters.  Possibly  a  quarrel  over  the  Treasury  ten 
years  ago  may  have  had  its  influence  on  the  events  of 
the  last  month  of  19 16;  possibly  it  was  personal 
loyalty  to  Mr.  Asquith  and  nothing  more  that  deter- 
mined Mr.  McKenna 's  course,  and  has  kept  him, 
unlike  Mr.  Montagu,  steadfast  in  it.  But  in  any  case, 
it  must  have  been  a  strain  for  a  man  of  his  tempera- 
ment to  work  with  one  of  the  Prime  Minister's.  Mr. 
Lloyd  George  in  one  respect  at  least  resembles  Chat- 
ham :  he  does  not  care  a  jot  for  money,  and  is  even 
proud  of  the  sacrifices  he  induces  the  nation  to  accept . 
Mr.  McKenna  thinks  chiefly  of  the  price  of  glories. 
He  has  never  been  credited  with  an  enthusiasm  for 
the  war,  and,  whatever  his  views  on  the  general  ques- 
tion, he  has  regarded  with  steady  jealousy  the  claims 
of  the  Army,  as  against  those  of  commerce  and  in- 
dustry. It  is  the  cobbler's  faith  in  leather — not  to  be 
altogether  disregarded,  nor  yet  to  be  blindly  shared. 

It  was  generally  believed,  when  Mr.  McKenna 
accepted  the  offer  of  his  banking  friend,  Sir  Edward 
Holden,  that  he  had  made  his  gesture  of  farewell  to 
politics.      Certainly  at  that  time  there  were  grounds 


MB.  REGINALD  McKENNA  95 

for  supposing  that  he  was  convinced  the  new  world 
had  no  place  for  him.  Since  he  has  taken  the  trouble 
to  correct  the  rumour,  it  may  be  assumed  that  he 
retains,  or  has  recovered,  faith  in  the  fortunes  of 
official  Liberalism  and  of  his  own  star.  Yet  it  is  not 
easy  to  see  a  great  place  for  Mr.  McKenna  in  the 
politics  of  the  future.  He  may  repeat  himself.  He 
can  do  little  more.  For  of  all  the  "  Old  Gang  " — or, 
more  accurately,  that  part  of  it  which  the  present 
Prime  Minister  failed  to  take  with  him — Mr.  McKenna, 
despite  his  superficial  modernity,  is  the  oldest  and 
the  least  elastic.  There  are  few  administrations  in 
which  he  could  not  be  useful  in  a  humdrum  way. 
It  is  impossible  to  imagine  a  successful  administration, 
in  the  times  we  are  likely  to  see,  of  which  he  could  be 
the  chief.  For  a  successful  chief  must  understand 
the  national  temper,  and  from  the  national  temper 
Smith  Square  is  almost  more  aloof  than  Lansdowne 
House. 


LORD  NEWTON  AND  OTHERS 

The  old  lawyers  invented  dummies  to  represent  sub- 
stantial plaintiffs  and  defendants,  and  it  is  chiefly  as 
a  John  Doe  or  Richard  Roe  that  Lord  Newton  is  here 
mentioned.  The  thing  he  stands  for  is  more  impor- 
tant than  himself. 

Lord  Newton  is,  indeed,  of  no  special  importance. 
It  is  rather  remarkable  that,  with  parts  so  good,  and 
with  a  decided  inclination  for  public  life,  he  has  done 
so  little.  The  explanation  probably  resides  equally 
in  his  rather  flighty  temperament  and  his  possession 
of  ample  fortune  and  hereditary  rank.  Station  is 
rather  like  a  cork  waistcoat.  It  enables  heavy,  inex- 
pert people  to  keep  afloat  who  would  otherwise  in- 
fallibly go  to  the  bottom.  But  it  tires  and  impedes 
an  active  man,  and  prevents  him  ever  developing  into 
a  first-class  swimmer.  Men  like  Lord  Newton  are 
too  intelligent  and  original  to  resign  themselves  to 
the  role  of  the  dead-dog  politician,  of  whom  Carlyle 
spoke  as  surging  up  and  down  the  flood  by  virtue  of 
superior  levity,  going  nowhither,  but  admired  by 
some  for  his  conspicuous  situation.  On  the  other 
hand,  they  lack  incentive,  and  rarely  acquire  that 
habit  of  hard  work  and  that  insensibility  to  disap- 
pointment and  disgust  which,  more  than  any  extra- 
ordinary talent,  bring  the  self-made  statesman  to 
great  position. 

Lord  Newton  is  Lord  Rosebery  on  a  smaller  scale. 
He  has  the  same  dawdling  disposition.  He  has  the 
same  relish  in  scoring  off  others,  especially  if  they 
happen  to  be  his  political  friends.     He  has  the  same 

90 


LORD  NEWTON  AND  OTHERS  97 

intense  distaste  for  being  himself  scored  off.  He  has, 
like  Lord  Rosebery,  a  good  deal  of  wit,  some  wisdom, 
and  an  excellent  style,  He  has  dabbled  in  many 
things :  in  diplomacy,  literature,  public  business, 
mastiff-breeding,  3'eomanry  tactics.  As  a  writer,  an 
Ambassador,  or  a  Minister,  he  might  easily  have  won 
real  eminence  had  he  given  his  not  inconsiderable 
abilities  full  play.  As  it  is,  he  is  chiefly  famous  for  a 
few  rather  flippant  speeches,  for  an  excellent  life  of 
Lord  Lyons,  and  some  illuminating  reflections  on 
diplomacy,  for  heretical  views  regarding  the  dismal- 
ness  of  county  cricket,  and  for  routine  work  in  the 
oversight  of  British  prisoners,  which  some  time  ago 
brought  him  into  a  prominence  that  he  appeared  to 
resent. 

Into  the  details  of  that  controversy  it  is  unnecessary 
to  enter.  The  only  indictment  to  be  framed  against 
Lord  Newton,  and  through  Lord  Newton  against  the 
class  he  represents,  concerns  the  manner  rather  than 
the  matter  of  his  defence.  His  lordship  was  clearly 
thinking  less  of  the  prisoners  than  of  attacks  made 
on  himself  and  his  Department.  Against  the  poor 
halfpennyworth  of  bread  which  formed  the  prisoners' 
portion  in  that  feast  of  reason,  his  apologia  in  the 
House  of  Lords,  we  had  an  intolerable  deal  of  sack 
in  which  Lord  Newton  drank  his  own  health,  and 
conve3red  complimentary  sentiments  to  his  colleagues. 
All  his  wit — and  on  this  occasion  he  hardly  did  justice 
to  his  reputation — was  used  against  "  editors  and  sub- 
editors," officers  released  from  internment,  and  other 
noxious  people  who  dared  suggest  that  Lord  Newton 
might  possibly  have  done  better. 

Now  it  is  certain  that  Lord  Newton  is  not  a  callous 
man.  He  is  not  a  stupid  man.  Probably  he  is  not 
a  particularly  egotistical  man.  He  is  only  displaying 
with    a    naivete    rather   surprising   in    one    with    so 

7 


98  UXCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 


decided  a  sense  of  humour,  the  attitude  of  his  caste 
towards  public  affairs.  It  is,  I  think,  an  attitude  in 
some  ways  quite  peculiar  to  this  country,  and  is  the 
natural  but  singular  consequence  of  the  disturbance 
of  the  old  balance  of  the  Constitution  which  took  place 
two  centuries  ago. 

In  some  countries  Ministers  are  still  truly  the 
servants  of  the  Crown,  and  in  a  very  real  sense  respon- 
sible to  the  monarch.  In  other  countries  Ministers 
are  under  a  constant  obligation  to  satisfy  Parliaments, 
or  Parliamentary  groups,  or  Parliament  ar}'  com- 
mittees. But  in  England,  though  some  of  the  Hano- 
verian monarchs  were  allowed  a  most  dangerous 
liberty  in  foreign  affairs,  they  were  not  in  a  position, 
as  the  German  Emperor  is,  to  call  their  Ministers 
to  account  for  every  action.  On  the  other  hand,  while 
public  opinion  no  doubt  rules  in  England  in  the  long 
run,  the  run  is  often  very  long  indeed.  A  party  re- 
turned to  power  is  secure  against  anything  except 
formal  defeat.  In  theory  a  Government  is  constantly 
under  check,  liable  to  dismissal  for  any  indiscretion 
or  misbehaviour;  in  practice  it  can  look  forward  to 
enjoyment  of  power  as  long  as  it  likes  to  stay,  short 
of  the  full  legal  term.  The  minority  in  Parliament 
may  ask  questions,  but  they  need  not  be  answered ;  it 
may  propose  votes  of  censure,  but  they  are  readily 
defeated.  There  is  really  no  check  on  Ministers 
beyond  their  consciences,  the  prejudices  of  their  sup- 
porters, and  the  fear  of  being  beaten  at  elections. 
The  fact  is  recognized  in  Parliamentary  terminology. 
A  Government  is  said  to  be  "  strong  "  when  it  has 
not  only  a  secure  majority,  but  a  long  period  before  it. 
It  is  said  to  be  "  weak,"  whatever  the  majority,  when 
a  General  Election  is  within  measurable  distance. 
Politicians  speak  of  an  "  exhausted  mandate." 
What  they  really  mean  is  that  a  Government  nearing 


LORD  NEWTON  AND  OTHERS  99 

the  end  of  its  tether  must  act  with  a  quite  unaccus- 
tomed sense  of  responsibility,  and  is  therefore,  in 
view  of  its  general  habits,  not  likely  to  act  with 
vigour. 

In  peace  time,  when  the  consequences  of  failure  in 
office  are  less  manifest,  Ministers  are  generally  able 
to  defeat  the  critic,  either  b}r  raising  new  issues  or  by 
opposing  to  him  the  obedient  mass  of  their  voting 
power.  This  safety  breeds  an  astonishing  indiffer- 
ence to  public  opinion.  But  in  war,  when  effect 
follows  cause  with  startling  rapidity,  critics,  especially 
out  of  Parliament,  tend  to  be  more  severe  and  more 
persistent,  and  party  bonds  are  apt  to  loosen.  Habit, 
however,  persists  in  the  ruling  class.  Placemen  are 
not  less  but  more  hostile  to  what  they  regard  as  inter- 
ference, and  more  disposed  than  usual  to  resort  to 
the  old  dodges:  "contrary  to  public  interest," 
"  advice  of  the  responsible  officials,"  "  need  of  con- 
sulting other  interests  which  cannot  be  too  closely 
specified,"  and  so  forth.  Hence  the  phenomenon, 
spoken  of  as  if  it  were  something  extraordinary,  of  a 
Government  out  of  touch  with  the  House  of  Commons, 
and  a  House  of  Commons  out  of  touch  with  the 
country. 

Men  like  Lord  Newton  especially,  men  of  good 
family  and  large  possessions,  take  a  view  of  their 
responsibilities  which  is  almost  humorous  in  times 
like  these.  They  conceive  themselves  as  having  done 
a  great  favour  to  the  nation  in  emerging  from  their 
pleasant  country-houses  to  bear  part  of  the  burden 
and  heat  of  the  day.  Being  well-bred  men  and 
patriots,  they  are  not  likely  to  remind  the  nation  of 
its  debt  so  long  as  the  nation  "  behaves."  But  when 
the  nation  begins  to  ask  whether  they  are  really  doing 
their  duty,  this  high  calm  is  apt  to  evaporate  in  a 
spluttering  indignation.     We  saw  a  good  deal  of  the 


100  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

spirit  during  the  Budget  fight.  "  We  are  a  priceless 
blessing  to  the  nation,"  said  the  ruling  class  in  effect, 
"  and  are  willing  to  continue  so — on  our  own  terms. 
On  any  other  we  propose  to  make  ourselves  objection- 
able." 

The  steady  progress  of  this  anarchic  temper  in  the 
English  ruling  classes,  following  as  night  the  day  all 
attempts  to  decrease  their  power,  seems  natural 
enough  to  people  who  express  astonishment  at  similar 
phenomena  in  other  countries.  That  ugly  chapter  of 
Ulster,  for  example,  is  chiefly  remembered  as  a  joke 
(carried  a  little  too  far)  by  those  who  find  marvellous 
the  action  of  German-speaking  barons  in  Baltic 
Russia.  We  are  ready  enough  to  condemn  Junker- 
dom's  objection  to  bear  its  fair  proportion  of  the 
burdens  of  German  taxation — an  objection  which  had 
much  to  do  with  the  decision  for  a  war  of  conquest, 
and  had  still  more  to  do  with  the  continuance  of  a 
war  for  indemnities.  But  the  Budget  revolt  could 
take  place  without  the  breath  of  suspicion  being  cast 
on  the  patriotism  of  our  great  landowners.  We  have 
been  so  used  in  this  country  to  a  class  which  clings 
stubbornly  to  privilege,  while  disclaiming  more  than 
the  duties  it  cares  to  undertake  in  its  own  way  and 
for  its  own  profit,  and  we  have  been  so  fortunate  thus 
far  in  escaping  the  due  pains  and  penalties  for  such 
a  state  of  things,  that  it  is  difficult  to  realize  that  our 
own  Junker  order — polite,  pleasant,  and  liberal- 
minded  in  indifferent  matters — is  in  essence  quite  as 
class-conscious  as  Germany's,  and  much  less  conscien- 
tiously national. 

But  incidents  like  that  of  Lord  Newton,  arriving 
together  with  that  extraordinary  appeal  to  the  Prus- 
sian Order  of  St.  John  by  our  own  members  of  the 
Order,  come  as  an  emphatic  reminder  of  the  difference 
between  a  true  democracv  and  a  bundle  of  anomalies 


LORD  NEWTON  AND  OTHERS  101 

like  our  own  State.  The  nation's  passionate  interest 
in  ordinary  common  Englishmen,  simple  non-com- 
missioned officers  and  privates,  contrasted  sharply 
with  the  offended  dignity  of  Lord  Newton.  The 
nation's  detestation  of  the  Prussian  aristocracy 
brought  out  in  strong  relief  the  almost  obsequious 
approach  of  the  English  knights  of  St.  John.  The 
nation  thinks  of  the  Prussian  notables  who  compose 
the  Order  of  St.  John  as  ordinary  blackguards  in  an 
extraordinary  position.  But  to  the  princely  and 
noble  British  members  they  are  still  men  of  honour 
who  can  be  addressed  without  incongruity  by  men 
of  honour.  A  large  part  of  the  nation  looks  forward 
to  a  League  of  Nations.  It  has  an  uneasy  notion 
that  too  many  of  its  hereditary  statesmen  look  back- 
ward on  the  old  International  League  of  Nobs,  and 
hope  that  the  family  party  of  Europe  will  not 
be  altogether  broken  up  by  the  present  misunder- 
standings. 

Of  course,  no  Englishman  can  view  without  strong 
dislike  the  breach  by  Germany  of  every  civilized  con- 
vention. But  there  is  a  world  of  difference  between 
the  man  who  regards  Germany  as  having  "not  alwajrs" 
adhered  to  the  standard  code  of  "  sport  "  and  fair 
play,  and  the  man  who  sees  no  essential  difference 
between  the  crimes  of  decorated  Germans  and  the 
murders  and  dirtinesses  of  vulgar  people.  The  one 
will  be  ready  hereafter  to  receive  socially  German 
princes  and  counts,  though  he  will  no  doubt  con- 
tinue to  dislike  the  German  people.  The  other  pro- 
mises himself  that  he  will  forgive  the  German  people 
on  condition  that  they  get  rid  of  their  princes  and 
counts,  but  on  no  other  condition.  Both  may  have  to 
compromise,  but  the  main  difference  in  their  present 
position  is  fully  visible:  the  English  populace  is 
fighting  for  the  extinction  of  Prussianism,  and   the 


UNIVERSITY  OF  CALIFOfcM* 
44JITA  BAJ4JBARA  COLLtGiJ  Lla&A&i 


102  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 


English  ruling  class  is  fighting  for  a  favourable 
accommodation  with  Prussians  whom  it  expects  at 
no  distant  date  to  meet  at  the  dinner-table.  And, 
as  has  happened  so  often  in  great  matters,  the  wide, 
noble,  and  generous  view  is  that  of  the  common  man, 
while  the  narrow,  selfish,  and  snobbish  view  is  that 
of  the  Olympian  god,  "careless  of  mankind,"  but 
most  mindful  of  the  Almanack  de  Gotha. 


MR.  WINSTON  CHURCHILL 

At  thii^-seven  men  looked  on  Mr.  Churchill  as  a 
statesman  of  some  achievement.  At  forty-seven  he 
is  discussed  as  a  politician  of  considerable  promise. 

Mr.  Churchill's  case  is  perhaps  unique.  There 
have  been  rises  even  more  rapid.  There  has  probably 
been  no  fall  comparable  with  his  which  was  not  final. 
If  the  dramatic  proprieties  were  consulted,  this  Lucifer 
should  not  hope  again.  In  fact,  he  is  hoping  again 
and  trying  again,  for  all  the  world  as  if  he  were  a 
Smiles  hero.  He  has  served  the  Crown  as  Under- 
Secretary  of  State  for  the  Colonies,  President  of  the 
Board  of  Trade,  Home  Secretary,  First  Lord  of  the 
Admiralty,  Chancellor  of  the  Duchy  of  Lancaster, 
Hussar  Colonel,  and  Minister  of  Munitions.  And 
now  that  he  is  beginning  life  again  (not  from  the 
bottom,  but  from  the  top,  or  somewhere  near  it),  his 
future  is  debated  with  something  of  the  curiosity 
attaching  to  some  beardless  wonder  fresh  from  the 
Oxford  Union. 

In  the  days  when  Mr.  Llo}rd  George  was  Lime- 
housing,  still  more  when,  on  the  very  eve  of  the  war, 
he  led  an  agitation  against  our  bloated  armaments, 
many  believed  that  Mr.  Churchill  would  some  day 
play  Elisha  to  Mr.  Asquith's  Elijah.  The  reversion 
to  the  Premier's  mantle  seemed  to  lie  between  him 
and  Sir  Edward  Grey;  and  Sir  Edward  Grey  had 
little  ambition  that  way,  while  Mr.  Churchill  was 
understood  to  be  a  very  Barkis  for  willingness.  There 
is  every  indication  that  Mr.  Churchill  had  familiar- 
ized himself  with  the  notion  of  becoming  Mr.  Asquith's 

103 


104  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 


heir,  and  perhaps,  following  the  rule  of  young  men 
of  great  expectations,  looked  forward  'with  some 
impatience  to  the  time  when  that  statesman  would  go 
to  his  own,  i.e.,'1  another  place." 

Undeniably  Mr.  Churchill  went  into  active  train- 
ing for  the  part.  He  affected  the  eye  severe,  the 
mind  of  formal  cut,  the  wise  saws  and  modern  in- 
stances of  responsible  maturity.  He  emphasized  in 
the  strongest  possible  way  the  contrast  between  his 
own  moderation  and  the  sansculottism  of  Mr.  Lloyd 
George.  The  more  violently  the  latter  swung  to  the 
left,  the  more  heavily  Mr.  Churchill  leaned  to  the 
right.  He  seemed  to  enjoy  the  "  Ohs  "  of  the 
Outhwaites  no  less  than  the  "  Hear,  hears  "  of  those 
who  wanted  eight  and  would  not  wait. 

Now  and  again  he  used  the  tones  of  the  strong  party 
man  and  the  sturdy  democrat.  But  he  generally  pre- 
ferred to  suggest  sane  Imperialism,  defence  without 
defiance,  unfrenzied  finance,  temperate  reform,  nation 
before  faction.  His  new  austerity  never  reached  a 
higher  pitch  than  during  the  Marconi  episode.  Nothing 
could  be  more  admirably  dramatic  than  his  indignation 
when  called  to  give  evidence  before  the  Committee. 
How  he  rated  the  chairman  for  taking  him  away  from 
the  King's  business  about  a  sordid  affair  in  which 
he  could  have  no  possible  interest  !  The  part,  like 
most  of  Mr.  Churchill's,  was  perhaps  a  little  overdone, 
but  at  any  rate  he  made  it  quite  clear  to  the  public 
that  one  Radical  Minister  at  least  need  not  fear  cross- 
examination  as  to  his  investments.  The  advertise- 
ment may  have  been  quite  unintentional.  But  it 
was  there,  legible  as  a  sky-sign. 

It  would  be  interesting  to  know  what  ironical 
memory  of  that  time  remained  with  the  Prime  Minister 
when  he  strained  the  allegiance  of  some  of  his  Con- 
servative followers  by  inviting  Mr.  Churchill  to  join 


MR.  WINSTON  CHURCHILL  105 


his  Government  as  Minister  of  Munitions.  Equally 
pleasant  would  it  be  to  share  Mr.  Churchill's  inmost 
thoughts  on  the  subject — and  Mr.  Asquith's  also. 
But  if  we  cannot  explore  these  forbidden  regions,  we 
may  at  least  discuss  how  it  happens  that  Mr.  Lloyd 
George  was  able  to  take  this  particular  form  of  revenge, 
and  how  perhaps  the  best-equipped  intellectually  of  all 
our  younger  men  of  affairs  is  now  watched  with  some 
anxiety  in  a  post  for  which  the  modest  abilities  of 
Dr.  Addison  were  considered  adequate. 

There  is  no  doubt  about  Mr.  Churchill's  capacity. 
None  but  a  first-rate  man  could  survive  so  many  first- 
rate  mistakes.  Had  he  not  been,  despite  his  reverses, 
formidable  as  an  opponent  and  valuable  as  a  col- 
laborator, Mr.  Lloyd  George  would  assuredly  not 
have  encountered  severe  criticism  on  his  behalf.  Nor 
would  Mr.  As  quit  h  have  thrust  him  forward  from  one 
great  position  to  another.  Some  savour  of  ridicule 
must  always  attach  to  the  very  young  man  who  makes 
omniscience  his  foible.  Less  kindly  emotions  are 
roused  by  the  spectacle  of  precocious  talents  for  in- 
trigue and  that  hunger  for  place  and  power  that  shows 
most  ungracefully  in  youth.  Mr.  Churchill  upset  his 
critics'  gravity  when  at  twenty-seven  he  affected  the 
airs  of  a  political  Manfred,  weighted  with  an  intoler- 
able burden  of  care.  The  bowed  shoulders,  the 
thoughtful  frown,  the  tense  manner,  contrasting  with 
the  extreme  boyishness  of  his  face  and  figure,  be- 
longed to  the  realm  of  pure  comedy.  On  the  other 
hand,  it  was  as  unpleasant  to  mark  his  hungry  egotism 
as  to  watch  the  greed  of  a  child  miser.  But  even  in 
those  early  days,  whether  one  smiled  or  railed,  one 
could  not  dismiss  him  as  an  ordinary  poser  or  an 
ordinary  place-seeker. 

If  he  overplayed  the  thinker,  he  did  think.     If  he 
was  overeager  in  his  bids  for  office,  he  had  obviously 


106  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

a  right  in  the  auction-room.     Little  short  of  a  genius 
for  affairs  could  have  enabled  him  to  take,  as  his  first 
essay,  under  a  dummy  chief,  the  real  direction  of  a 
Department  so  important  at  the  time  as  the  Ministry 
of  the  Colonies.     In  fact,  Mr.  Churchill  has  genius, 
and  of  a  quite  high  order.     It  is  shown  in  his  purely 
literal  work;  there   is  little  better  in  its  way  than 
the  biography  of  his  father,  while  his  River  War  is 
altogether  excellent.     His  best  speeches  are  distin- 
guished by  a  technical  quality,  a  power  of  luminous 
exposition,  a  dignity  of  phrase,  a  mastery,  a  breadth 
and  grasp  that  one  seeks  in  vain  in  the  Prime  Minister's. 
Nor  is  he  merely  a  man  of  words.     The  turn  of  his 
mind  is,  indeed,  rather  towards  action,  and  it  is  prob- 
ably in  administration  that  it  finds  the  keenest  satis- 
faction.    He  has  gifts,  in  short,  which  might  entitle 
him  without  presumption  to  expect  the  highest  posi- 
tion in  the  State,  were  they  not  intermingled  with 
other  qualities  which  make  him  still,  after  a  life  of 
extraordinary   activity,   little   more  than   a  man  of 
promise. 

Perhaps  the  chief  reproach  lies  with  his  ancestors. 
At  this  distance  there  is  visible  in  him  more  than  a 
trace  of  the  termagant  humour,  the  restless  levity, 
and  the  inordinate  vanity  of  Sarah  Jennings.  He 
has  the  blood  also  of  that  Spencer  whose  name  was 
a  byword  for  unprincipled  intrigue  in  the  most  un- 
principled period  in  our  political  history.  From  the 
great  Duke  he  inherits,  perhaps,  his  courage,  his  war- 
like tastes,  much  of  his  intellect,  and  no  little  of  his 
facility  for  espousing  new  causes  and  deserting  old 
ones.  With  John  Churchill's  steady  baseness,  cool 
treachery,  and  single  eye  to  the  main  chance,  he  might 
easily  have  rivalled  the  glory  and  shame  of  the  founder 
of  his  house. 

But  Mr.  Churchill  is  neither  great  enough  nor  bad 


MR.  WINSTON  CHURCHILL  107 

enough  nor  narrow  enough  for  that.  The  American 
strain  in  him,  mingling  oddly  with  that  old  English 
blood,  is  perhaps  responsible  for  many  things.  It 
may  have  given  him  a  certain  impatience  for  what  he 
once  called — while  joyously  admitting  that  he  had 
long  talked  it  as  a  matter  of  business — "  Tory  clap- 
trap." It  may  have  imparted  an  extra  touch  of  reck- 
lessness in  speculation,  while  giving  him  also  a  dog- 
gedness  which  was  not  visible  in  his  father,  and  for 
want  of  which  Lord  Randolph  went  to  pieces  after 
his  first  defeat.  To  it  may  be  traceable,  more  than  to 
any  English  source,  a  lack  of  simplicity,  a  taste  for 
self-advertisement  uncommon  in  an  English  aristo- 
crat, an  unbridled  tendency  to  naked  "  bossing  "  of 
any  "  show,"  and  other  peculiarities  which  make  Mr. 
Churchill  a  difficult  man  for  many  plain  Englishmen 
to  "  get  on  with." 

It  is  just  this  failure  to  get  on  that  lies  at  the  root 
of  the  whole  mystery  of  Mr.  Churchill's  maimed  career. 
He  did  not  get  on  with  the  Unionists.  After  the 
first  raptures  he  failed  to  get  on  with  most  Liberals. 
He  did  not  get  on  with  Lord  Fisher.  It  was  perhaps 
not  surprising  that  he  did  not  get  on  with  the  Coalition 
Cabinet  as  Chancellor  of  the  Duchy — a  post  for  senile 
wisdom  rather  than  for  young  pushfulness.  Whether 
the  Army  did  not  get  on  with  him,  or  he  with  the 
Army,  only  he  and  the  Army  may  sa)'.  But  the 
grand  gesture  with  which  he  went  to  the  trenches  was 
too  soon  followed  by  a  return  to  Westminster  to  sug- 
gest entire  compatibility. 

The  whisper  goes  round  that  at  the  Ministry  of 
Munitions  Mr.  Churchill  still  fails  to  get  on.  His 
ability  is  not  questioned,  but  he  has  that  type  of 
masterfulness  which  irritates  while  it  fails  to  subdue. 
Of  his  relations  with  the  War  Cabinet  less  is  said, 
possibly  because  there  is  nothing  to  say.     When  the 


108  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

late  Lord  Salisbury  received  a  suggestion  that  he 
should  offer  a  place  to  Lord  Randolph  Churchill  and 
thus  silence  that  distinguished  outcast's  opposition, 
he  replied  in  parable.  "  I  once  had,"  he  said,  "a 
carbuncle  on  my  neck.  If  I  can  avoid  another  I 
shall  do  so."  The  Prime  Minister  has  no  such  fear  of 
Lord  Randolph's  son,  and  perhaps  he  is  right.  It  may 
be  that  adversity  has  taught  Mr.  Churchill  some 
lessons  which  he  failed  to  master  in  the  days  of  his 
facile  success. 

It  would  be  to  the  advantage  of  the  country,  no 
less  than  of  Mr.  Churchill,  if  he  could  master  them. 
"  For  the  love  of  Christ,  gentlemen,"  said  Oliver 
Cromwell  once  to  the  Parliamentarians,  "I  beseech 
you  to  think  it  is  possible  you  may  be  mistaken." 
Mr.  Churchill's  infallibility  is  one  of  his  chief  weak- 
nesses. Taking  all  knowledge  as  his  province,  he 
cannot  help  being  superficial,  but  then  every  states- 
man necessarily  is  that,  and  it  must  be  said  for  Mr. 
Churchill  that  he  will  learn  more  of  a  subject  in  six 
months  than  most  politicians  do  in  six  years.  Un- 
fortunately he  will  assume  that,  as  soon  as  he  is  bored 
with  learning,  there  is  nothing  more  to  learn,  and 
will  imagine  that  he  is  fit  to  undertake,  not  merely 
the  general  control  which  is  the  business  of  a  political 
chief,  but  the  technical  ordering  of  his  department. 
He  goes  up  in  an  aeroplane,  down  in  a  submarine, 
"  swots  "  Mahan  and  a  few  textbooks,  and  considers 
himself  qualified  to  be  quite  other  than  a  Sir  Joseph 
Porter  as  Ruler  of  the  King's  Navee.  Teaching  your 
grandfather  his  own  business  is  fully  as  futile  as  teach- 
ing your  grandmother  a  business  less  obviously  hers. 

Mr.  Churchill  should  also  learn  not  to  be  too  much 
in  a  hurry.  I  have  not  in  mind  here  those  speeches 
of  his  concerning  "  rats  "  and  "  legitimate  gambles  " 
and  "  victories  such  as  the  world  has  never  seen  " — ■ 


MR.  WINSTON  CHURCHILL  109 

though  in  each  case  he  would  have  been  wiser  to  await 
the  event.  I  am  thinking  more  of  his  personal  record. 
He  would  have  got  on  faster  at  a  slower  pace.  He 
has  been  too  busy  looking  after  his  next  job  to  think 
enough  of  the  one  in  hand.  Had  he  been  content 
to  work  steadily  and  play  the  game  according  to  the 
rules,  had  he,  so  to  speak,  masticated  life  instead 
of  wolfing  it  in  great  gulps,  he  would  probably  have 
gone  quite  as  far,  without  going  back  at  all.  But 
with  him  impatience  assumes  almost  the  aspect  of 
nervous  disease.  He  does  not  know  how  to  wait. 
He  is  a  victim  of  the  "  Do  it  now  "  craze — "  it  "  being 
more  or  less  undefined.  The  sedative  influence  of 
principle  he  is  unhappily  denied.  Indeed,  there  is  a 
good  deal  of  his  great  ancestor's  century  in  Mr. 
Churchill.  "  Restless,  unfixed  in  principles  and  place, 
in  power  unpleased,  impatient  of  disgrace,"  he  has 
rather  close  affinity  with  those  brilliant  but  somewhat 
ineffective  men  whose  weaknesses  and  talents  Dryden 
has  described  with  such  unerring  touch  in  Absalom 
and  Achitophel. 

Few  men  fight  successfully  against  their  natures; 
and  though  Mr.  Churchill  is  still  young,  as  statesmen 
go,  it  is  probable  that  time,  though  it  may  tame,  will 
not  reform  him.  It  is  a  pity,  for  he  has  the  stuff,  if 
it  were  not  marred,  to  make  a  second  Chatham,  and 
half  a  dozen  Pitts.  As  things  are,  he  is  perilously 
near  a  second  edition  of  his  father,  with  just  the  differ- 
ence due  either  to  some  added  tenacity  in  himself  or 
some  increased  tolerance  on  the  part  of  the  public. 


MR.  HAROLD  COX 

It  is  easy  to  understand  why  nobody  speaks  ill  of  Mr. 
Harold  Cox.  It  is  not  so  clear  why  all  men  should 
conspire  with  exaggeration  to  speak  well  of  him. 

People  of  every  party  think  it  the  proper  thing  to 
pay  him  the  tribute  of  their  usually  far  from  supple 
knees.  The  Liberals  reverence  him  in  his  quality  of 
custodian  of  the  Lares  of  Cobdenism.  The  Socialists 
owe  him  some  tenderness,  as  a  former  Fabian,  for 
what  he  was,  and  perhaps  for  something  of  what  he 
still  is.  The  Tories,  in  opposition  at  least,  respect 
him  for  his  quarrels  with  official  Liberalism. 

Thus  he  has  won  high  praise  from  very  different 
people.  I  seem  to  remember  words  of  eulogy  from 
Mr.  Balfour.  Mr.  Asquith  once  declared  him  "  indis- 
pensable "  to  public  life.  He  received  the  ominous 
commendation  of  Lord  Rosebery  in  a  panegyric  which 
would  have  been  a  trifle  extravagant  for  Burke. 
And  whenever  the  Adullamites  are  gathered  together 
part  of  their  rites  is  the  swinging  of  a  censer  before 
Mr.  Cox.  After  general  denunciation  of  House  of 
Commons  decadence  and  the  tyranny  of  the  party 
machine,  Mr.  Cox  is  pretty  sure  to  be  mentioned  as  an 
example  of  the  kind  of  man  the  country  wants  and 
cannot  get. 

It  seems  to  be  everybody's  business  to  give  Mr.  Cox 
a  friendly  shove  forward.  But  what  is  everybody's 
business  is  also  nobody's.  With  all  this  reverence  for 
Mr.  Cox  no  man  or  party  seems  fiercely  anxious  to 
secure  him  with  hoops  of  steel.  Mr.  Asquith  found 
him   indispensable,   but   dispensed   with   him.     Lord 

no 


MR.  HAROLD  COX  111 


Rosebery  gave  him  a  character  when  he  could  give 
him  nothing  else.  He  rather  resembles  the  village 
grocer  whom  the  local  magnates  respect  highly,  while 
dealing  exclusively  with  the  stores.  For  him  there 
is  always  a  pleasant  "  good-morning  "  and  a  courteous 
raising  of  the  whip  hand,  but  the  gentry  continue 
to  get  their  currants  from  town. 

There  is  a  reason  for  everything,  and  it  is  not  by 
sheer  accident  that  Mr.  Harold  Cox  has  latterly  given 
to  the  Edinburgh  Review  what  everybody  agrees 
was  meant  for  mankind.  He  belongs,  prob  bly,  to  a 
class  of  men  noted  by  Lytton  in  his  slight  but  sug- 
gestive sketch  of  that  forgotten  notability,  Sir  James 
Mackintosh:  "  men  who  are  less  valued  for  any  pre- 
cise thing  they  have  done  than  according  to  a  vague 
notion  of  what  they  are  capable  of  doing."  The 
quotation  may  be  continued  with  advantage.  "  Their 
powers  of  comprehension,"  says  the  critic, "  are  greater 
than  their  powers  either  of  creation  or  exposition  ;  and 
their  energy,  though  capable  of  being  roused  occasion- 
ally to  great  exertions,  can  rarely  be  relied  on  for  any 
continued  effort.  They  collect,  sometimes  in  rather 
a  sauntering  manner,  an  immense  store  of  varied 
inform  tion.  The  faculty  of  comprehending  genius 
may  give  them,  in  a  certain  degree,  the  power  of 
imitating  it,  whilst  ambition,  interest,  and  necessity 
will  at  times  stimulate  them  to  extraordinary  exertions. 
As  writers  they  usually  lack  originality,  ease,  and 
power;  as  men  of  action,  tact,  firmness,  and  decision. 
In  society,  however,  the  mere  faculty  of  remembering 
and  comprehending  a  variety  of  things  is  quite  suffi- 
cient to  obtain  a  considerable  reputation." 

It  might  be  added  that  a  common  characteristic  of 
such  men  is  excessive  reverence  for  authority  and  a 
tendency  to  quote  it  chiefly  in  a  negative  sense. 
"  There  is  a  Parliament  wit,"  says  Halifax,  "  to   be 


112  UN  CENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

distinguished  from  all  other  kinds ;  those  who  have  it 
do  not  stuff  their  heads  only  with  cavils  and  objec- 
tions." Closely  regarded,  "  cavils  and  objections  " 
are  the  main  stock-in-trade  of  men  like  Mr.  Cox. 
Often  the  cavils  are  justified  and  the  objections  sound  ; 
Mr.  Cox's  warnings  against  profligate  expenditure 
and  unscientific  taxation  during  the  present  war 
might  have  been  profitably  heeded  by  three  Chancel- 
lors of  the  Exchequer.  But  there  are  limits  to  the 
usefulness  of  a  critic  of  this  kind,  and  there  are  occa- 
sions when  he  is  not  useful  at  all.  It  needs  no  ghost 
come  from  the  grave  of  old  systems  to.  tell  us,  as  Mr. 
Cox  does,  that  there  are  manj7-  difficulties  in  the  way 
of  a  League  of  Nations.  That  ever3rbody  knows. 
What  we  want  is  wise  counsel  as  to  how  the  difficulties 
may  be  overcome. 

There  is  something  curiously  illuminative  in  one 
little  fact  of  Mr.  Cox's  early  life.  He  belongs  to  the 
distinctly  upper  stratum  of  the  middle  classes.  His 
father  was  a  county  court  judge.  I  am  aware  that 
county  court  judges  are — or  were — counted  hardly 
human  (except  in  their  liability  to  err)  by  my  lords  of 
the  King's  Bench,  but  ordinary  people  quite  rightly 
regard  them  as  personages  of  considerable  dignity  and 
emolument.  Mr.  Harold  Cox  was  thus  from  his 
cradle  in  an  atmosphere  of  refined  enlightenment. 
He  imbibed  everything  in  the  way  of  academic 
culture  that  Tonbridge  and  Jesus  College  could  give 
him,  distinguished  himself  greatl}-  in  mathematics 
and  political  economy,  and  acted  as  an  Extension 
Lecturer  in  the  latter  subject. 

Then,  "  in  order  to  gain  an  insight  into  the  life  of 
English  labourers,"  he  spent  a  j'ear  working  as  an 
agricultural  labourer  in  Kent  and  Surrey.  There  is 
nothing  very  extraordinary  in  this  fact .  It  was  a  com- 
paratively common  thing  in  the  eighties,  when  social 


MR.  HAROLD  COX  113 


questions  were  very  much  to  the  fore,  for  educated 
young  men  to  take  a  turn  at  manual  work  with  a  view 
to  qualify  as  "  authorities  "  on  such  questions.  But 
it  may  be  suggested  that,  while  this  sort  of  thing  may 
be  very  good  fun,  and  capital  experience  in  its  way, 
the  man  who  embarks  solemnly  on  such  an  enterprise 
in  order  to  "  gain  an  insight  "  is  not  to  be  trusted 
with  his  gains.  He  will  be  much  farther  off  reality 
when  he  has  finished  than  before  he  started. 

The  only  way  to  understand  the  poor  is  to  be  poor. 
There  is  no  tighter  freemasonry  in  this  world  than 
that  of  those  who  live  on  a  pound  a  week  or  under; 
and  the  coarsest  mistakes  concerning  the  manual 
worker  are  those  of  people  who  pride  themselves  on 
knowing  him  through  and  through.  No  less  reliable 
guide  exists  than  the  Bishop  who  boasts  that  he  is 
more  at  home  in  Canning  Town  than  at  Fulham  Palace, 
or  the  "  social  worker  "  who  specializes  in  slums. 
The  poor  will  occasionally  be  frank  with  richer  people 
who  approach  them  naturally;  they  shut  up  like 
oysters  to  those  who  want  to  stud}7  them  or  to  "  do 
good."  After  all,  it  is  only  natural.  An  evangelist 
from  Mile  End,  a  cookery  expert  from  Bethnal  Green, 
or  an  earnest  seeker  after  social  truths  from  Wapping, 
would  receive  but  a  cold  welcome  in  Berkeley  Square. 

Not  that  undue  stress  need  be  laid  on  this  youthful 
adventure.  But  it  does  seem  relevant  to  a  discussion 
of  Mr.  Cox's  mentality.  It  suggests  at  once  the 
lucidity  and  rigidity  of  his  mind.  It  would  be  in- 
accurate as  well  as  rude  to  call  it  wooden.  Let  us 
rather  say  it  suggests  the  polish  of  fine  mahogany:  it 
reflects  much  light  and  yet  gives  none.  There  is  a 
certain  affinity  between  Mr.  Cox  and  Mrs.  Micawber  of 
glorious  memory.  Mr.  Cox  wanted  to  get  an  insight 
into  labour  conditions,  and  the  first  thing  was  to  see 
the  labourer  for  himself.     Mrs.  Micawber  wanted  to 

8 


114  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

get  an  insight  into  the  Medway  coal  tn.de,  and  the 
first  thing  was  to  see  the  Medway  for  herself.  She 
saw  the  Medway,  and  little  came  of  it.  Mrs. 
Micawber's  marked  logical  faculty  is  also  faintly 
suggestive  of  Mr.  Cox's.  She  arranged  her  major  and 
minor  premises  delightfully,  and  proceeded  with  re- 
sistless majesty  to  the  syllogism — which  generally 
demonstrated  the  impossibility  of  feeding  a  man, 
woman,  and  a  growing  boy  (to  sa}r  nothing  of  the 
twins)  on  3s.  9c!.  worth  of  commission  in  three  months. 
You  are  buoyed  up  with  continual  hope  that  some- 
thing practical  is  going  to  emerge  from  this  splendid 
lucidity — and  nothing  does.  Mr.  Cox  disappoints  in 
rather  the  same  way.  That  beautiful  logical  mill 
of  his  grinds  to  perfection,  and  produces — what  ? 

The  barrenness  of  Mr.  Cox's  achievement,  as  con- 
trasted with  the  reputation  he  bears,  is  perhaps 
explained  if  we  understand  his  as  a  mind  following 
generally  received  ideas  rather  than  its  original  inspi- 
rations. As  suggested  above,  it  gives  back  light,  and 
does  not  produce  it;  it  reflects  but  does  not  think. 
Such  minds  are  seldom  fruitful,  though  they  often  put 
forth  an  impressive  amount  of  foliage.  They  also  tend 
under  a  great  outward  show  of  consistency  and  calm 
reason,  to  real  confusion  of  thought. 

If  we  examine  Mr.  Cox's  record  closely  we  shall 
find  a  sterilizing  conflict  in  fundamentals.  He  was, 
as  has  been  noted,  a  Fabian.  That  is  to  say,  at  one 
period  of  his  life  at  least  he  must  have  thought  himself 
in  favour  of  the  enlargement  of  the  powers  of  the  State 
to  a  degree  utterly  inconsistent  with  the  very  root 
principles  of  individualist  Liberalism.  Yet  he  sat  as 
a  Liberal  for  Preston  from  1906  to  1909.  Of  course 
an  easy  explanation  is  that  the  Socialistic  }routh  cooled 
into  the  moderate  Liberal  in  his  progress  to  ultimate 
Conservatism,  and  this  theory  would  seem  to  gain 


MR.  HAROLD  COX  115 

strength  by  the  clear  fact  that  Mr.  Cox  is  now  nearer 
the  right  than  the  left,  and  that  sometimes  he  even 
seems  a  considerable  distance  from  the  centre.  Occa- 
sionally he  speaks  rather  more  like  a  Tor}'  than  a 
disgruntled  Whig,  and  his  views  on  Ireland  are  hardly 
distinguishable  from  Lord  Lansdowne's. 

But,  whatever  the  case  about  his  Liberalism,  it  is 
not  easy  to  square  the  undoubted  fact  that  he  was  once 
a  Fabian  with  the  other  undoubted  fact  that  he  has 
been  a  lifelong  Free  Trader.  Free  Trade  may  be  a 
good  or  bad  thing,  or  it  may  be  sometimes  good  and 
sometimes  bad.  But  the  very  soul  of  Collectivism 
is  combat,  and  the  very  soul  of  Free  Trade  is  acquies- 
cence. The  Collectivist  says  economic  forces  must  be 
consciously  controlled,  or  there  will  be  chaos;  the 
Free  Trader  believes  that  the  only  safe  plan  is  full 
liberty  for  economic  forces  to  act  and  react.  The 
Free  Trader's  attitude  to  the  State  resembles  that  of 
Artemus  Ward  to  the  fire  brigade,  whom  he  thanked 
for  "  kindly  refraining  from  squirting."  The  Col- 
lectivist would  have  a  constant  stream  of  vivifying 
interference. 

It  is,  therefore,  I  think,  clear  that  at  one  period  of 
his  life,  at  least,  Mr.  Cox  was  in  a  state  of  confusion 
on  fundamentals — not  an  uncommon  case  with  young 
men,  and  a  quite  forgivable  case  with  the  majority — 
but  rather  serious  in  the  special  cicumstances,  for 
Mr  Cox's  whole  position  as  a  teacher  is  that  of  ex 
cathedra  infallibility.  The  point  of  honour  must 
always  be  considered.  You  and  I  might  do  what  is 
not  done  at  a  duke's  dinner  party,  and  still  hold  up  our 
heads  as  human  beings ;  not  so  a  lifelong  professor  of 
good  form.  The  claim  of  the  Coxes  is  not  that  they  are 
sometimes  very  right,  but  that  they  are  never  wrong. 
And  one  mistake  is  fatal  to  the  whole  pretension. 

I  imagine  the  Free  Trader  was  even  at  the  time  more 


116  UN  CENSORED  CELEBRITIES 


the  real  Harold  Cox  than  the  temporary  Fabian.  For 
Free  Trade — or  more  correctly  the  idea  behind  Free 
Trade — is  his  natural  element.  To  his  acute  and  well- 
regulated  mind  the  impregnability  of  the  Cobdenic 
doctrine  to  purely  logical  attack  would  necessarily 
appeal.  It  is  just  as  impossible  to  deny  that  free 
exchange,  taking  a  large  area,  favours  the  production 
of  wealth,  and  that  protective  duties  retard  it,  as  it 
is  to  deny  that  plenty  of  beef  and  bread,  taking  the 
mass  of  mankind,  are  more  favourable  to  vigour  than  a 
restricted  diet.  But  some  men  will  die  of  a  steak,  and 
some  industries — perhaps  even  some  nations — will  die 
of  Free  Trade.  One  seems  to  catch  here  the  mur- 
mured reflection  "Why  keep  them  from  dying?  Is 
it  an  advantage  to  bolster  up  the  clearly  inefficient  ?" 
—a  remark  that  at  once  reminds  one  that  Free  Trade 
is  the  political  equivalent  of  Darwinism .  ' '  Supply  and 
demand,"  "  buy  in  the  cheapest  market  and  sell  in 
the  dearest,"  "  natural  operation  of  economic  law," 
"economic  tendencies  which  cannot  be  resisted": 
what  is  all  this  but  a  variant  of  the  survival  of  the 
fittest ;  "  fittest "  meaning  only  those  who  survive  ? 
Free  Trade  and  the  doctrine  of  evolution  are  both 
deserving  of  high  respect  as  an  explanation  of  economic 
and  biological  phenomena;  but  it  is  hardly  fanciful 
to  see  in  the  modern  extensions  of  both  the  secular 
cousins  of  Calvinism. 

Calvinism  of  any  kind  is  a  dreary  creed,  and  a 
certain  despair  is  discernible  in  most  of  the  economists 
from  whom  Mr.  Cox  has  sucked  inspiration.  His 
own  writings  reveal  much  of  the  cheerful  hopelessness 
— it  is  not  easy  to  describe  the  mood — of  a  school 
convinced  that,  while  Manchester  was  very  horrible, 
it  was  the  best  we  could  reasonably  look  for,  and  must 
be  borne  with  stoicism  and  even  satisfaction,  pending 
the  "  evolution  "  of  better  things.     The  calm  with 


MR.  HAROLD  COX  117 


which  philosophers  of  this  school  discuss  "  displace- 
ment of  labour  "  through  the  introduction  of  new 
methods  or  the  swift  decay  of  old  trades  affords 
perhaps  the  best  illustration  of  what  is  here  meant. 

The  extreme  ability  with  which  Mr.  Cox  acts  as  the 
exponent  of  Free  Trade  doctrines  may  explain  the 
esteem  in  which  he  is  held  by  one  party.  The 
general  good-will  to  which  allusion  has  been  made 
can  only  be  understood  by  those  who  have  come  in 
contact  with  a  singularly  engaging  personality. 


VISCOUNT  MILNER 

When  Lord  Milner  became  a  member  of  the  War 
Cabinet  the  prevalent  feeling  was  vague  distrust. 
His  appointment  to  the  War  Office  was  as  generally 
approved,  and  not  merely  on  the  ground  that,  com- 
pared with  his  lordly  predecessor,  his  intellectual 
qualities  "  stick  fiery  off  indeed." 

The  truth  is  that  the  average  man  strongly  sus- 
pects Lord  Milner  in  the  capacity  of  spiritual  guide; 
but,  in  spite  of  his  many  failures,  retains  faith  in 
his  talents  for  administration  in  matters  where  poli- 
tical bias  is  of  small  account.  He  feels,  too,  that  the 
ruthlessness  which  appears  to  lie  at  the  core  of  Lord 
Milner 's  character  is  an  asset  in  his  present  office. 
The  War  Office  wants  a  head.  It  has  never  had  one 
since  Lord  Kitchener's  death,  and  even  Kitchener, 
who  was  not  in  191 5  the  Kitchener  of  Omdurman, 
could  not  quite  master  the  job.  Mr.  Lloyd  George 
was  simply  a  picturesque  figurehead  and  Lord  Derby 
an  unimpressive  one.  Lord  Milner  is  qualified  to 
be  much  more.  He  has  brains  and  industry.  He 
dislikes  incapacity,  and  is  believed  to  be  no  respecter 
of  persons. 

In  some  regards  he  is  exceedingly  well  fitted  to  deal 
with  that  specially  British  curse — the  lenity  to  well- 
connected  muddlers,  which  has  evoked  the  bitter 
sneer  that  the  English  will  see  their  best  division 
broken  rather  than  break  their  worst  General.  For 
while  he  is  a  man  of  no  family,  and  has  therefore 
no  relatives  to  consider,  Lord  Milner  is  also  the  last 

to  be  impressed  by  family  trees.     That  is  the  common 

118 


VISCOUNT  MILNER  119 


fate  of  English  middle-class  statesmen  as  soon  as  they 
have  reached  the  stage  when  it  is  considered  worth 
while  to  flatter  them.  Lord  Milner's  intellectual 
arrogance  makes  such  abasement  impossible .  Indeed , 
he  would  probably  enjoy  the  discomfiture  of  a  fool 
all  the  more  because  he  belonged  to  a  caste. 

The  common  respect  for  Lord  Milner  as  an  instru- 
ment, as  contrasted  with  the  equally  common  dis- 
trust of  him  as  an  influence,  has,  like  most  popular 
instincts,    a    sufficiently    rational    foundation.     The 
public   respect   his    Prussian   efficiency,   but    are   re- 
pelled by  his  Prussian  mind.     Much  malignant  and 
vulgar  nonsense  has  been  written  about  the  accident 
of  Lord  Milner's  German  connections.     But,  while  it 
is  absurd  to  suggest  that  he  has  the  smallest  sympathy 
in  this  war  with  the  land  with  which  he  has  been  so 
closely  connected,  there  is  no  gainsaying  the  fact  that 
his  mind,  like  his  features,  is  of  a  very  Prussian  cast. 
Environment  has,  indeed,  toned  down  the  harsher 
lineaments  of  the  character.     Lord  Milner  is  a  pleasant 
man  to  talk  to.     He   has  a  real  gift    of  friendship. 
He  is  an  intelligent  and  kindly  patron  of  young  men 
of  promise;  in  fact,  no  part  of  his  character  is  more 
amiable  than  the  paternal  tenderness  which  he,   a 
bachelor,  well  on  in  the  sixties,  shows  for  clever  people 
very  much  his  juniors.    He  is  not  really  "  reactiona^." 
He  believes  in  progress  as  much  as  any  man;  he  is 
farther  from  the  mere    Tory  than  he  is   from   Mr. 
Sidney  Webb.     His  patriotism,  in  its  kind,  is  indis- 
putable.    He  has  himself  laughed  at  the  folly  which 
imputes  to  him,  "  an  out-and-out  British  Imperialist," 
a  divided  allegiance.     But  in  nothing,   truly,  is   his 
Prussianism  better  revealed  than  in  that  same  "  out- 
and-outness  " ;  nothing  more  signally  illustrates  his  in- 
tellectual and  temperamental  affinities  to  the  professors 
of  Welt-Politik,  whom  it  is  now  his  business  to  fight. 


120  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

The  old  English  word  for  colonies  was  "  planta- 
tions," and  the  idea  of  a  garden  still  best  indicates 
what  was  long  the  underlying  principle  of  English 
colonization.  What  we  call  the  British  Empire  is  a 
gigantic  absurdity  considered  as  an  Empire;  it  is  a 
wonderful  thing  considered  as  a  natural  growth. 
Our  gardens  have  occasionally  been  watered  by  un- 
justly spilled  blood ;  some  of  them  were  Naboth's 
vineyards  wrongfully  seized.  But  in  the  main  they 
have  been  made  by  the  spade  and  not  by  the  bayonet ; 
the}-  are  the  monument  of  free  men  and  free 
forces. 

The  German  idea  of  a  colon}',  on  the  other  hand, 
has  always  been  a  well-managed  factory  of  raw 
material,  with  everything — more  especially  the  native 
and  the  colonist — put  in  its  right  place.  Some  thirty 
years  ago  the  German  colonial  idea,  in  the  general 
worship  of  German  things  which  followed  1870,  began 
to  gain  ground  in  this  country,  and  Lord  Milner  must 
be  credited  with  his  part  in  that  cynical  reaction. 
Coolly  examined,  the  whole  notion  of  modern  Imperial- 
ism in  its  extreme  expression  is  Prussian.  The  United 
Kingdom  is  to  be  made  as  "  efficient  "  a  workshop  as 
Germany,  a  clearing-house  and  central  power-station, 
and  a  pleasure-place  for  plutocrats  from  everywhere. 
The  Dominions,  too  big  to  be  forced,  are  to  be  shep- 
herded into  a  state  of  dependence,  their  development 
canalized  and  stereotyped.  The  tropical  dependencies 
are  merely  to  subserve  the  interests  of  great  British 
monopolies.  The  only  material  difference  between 
the  German  nd  the  English  school  is  that  in  Germany 
aims  are  discussed  frankly  and  pursued  logically, 
whereas  here  realities  are  obscured  by  sentimental 
talk,  and  policy  is  subject  to  sharp  variations. 

About  a  generation  ago  South  Africa  happened  to 
be  in  a  position  half-way  between  the  Crown  Colonies 


VISCOUNT  MILNER  121 

and  the  more  developed  States  of  Australia  and 
Canada,  and  to  its  great  misfortune  the  great  gold 
and  diamond  discoveries  precisely  synchronized  with 
the  rise  of  the  new  eagerness  for  exploitation  on 
Prussian  principles.  In  the  older  States  foundations 
were  laid  by  hardworking  pioneers,  and  the  edifice 
was  completed  by  citizens.  In  South  Africa  gamblers 
began  the  work,  and  S3mdicates  continued  it.  There 
was  real  danger  at  one  time  of  a  veritable  dictator- 
ship by  boards  of  directors.  It  is  due  to  Lord  Milner 
to  note  his  dislike  and  hostility  to  the  low  men  who 
wished  to  impose  on  half  a  continent  the  most  degrad- 
ing of  all  tyrannies .  He  worked  his  hardest  to  transfer 
practical  sovereignty  from  the  Randlords  to  the  British 
Crown,  and  in  the  end  he  won.  His  imperialism  was 
not  mixed  up,  like  that  of  even  Rhodes,  with  baser 
ingredients.  He  regarded  only  what  he  thought  the 
true  interests  of  Britain  and  Africa.  Moreover,  he 
was  free  from  some  singular  illusions  of  Rhodes  and 
others.  Rhodes  shared  an  error  common  both  to  the 
British  Pacifist  and  the  British  Imperialist.  He 
acted  as  if  England,  by  some  law  of  nature,  was 
always  safe.  The  Pacifist  thought  nobody  would 
ever  attack  us  if  we  were  inoffensive.  The  Imperialist 
went  a  step  farther,  and  could  not  conceive  that  even 
aggression  might  be  risky.  The  simplicity  of  the 
Jameson  raid  plotters  was  really  more  wonderful  than 
their  lack  of  scruple.  To  Rhodes  and  his  fellows  the 
attempt  to  subvert  the  South  African  Republic  was 
little  more  than  an  affair  of  commercial  policy,  hardly 
more  important  than  the  despoilment  of  Lobengula. 
Their  naive  surprise  at  the  noise  made  by  their  ex- 
ploit is  truly  wonderful  in  retrospect. 

Lord  Milner 's  wider  intelligence  was  capable  of  no 
such  self-deception.  It  is  true  that  his  judgment 
has  occasionally  been  deflected  by  a  singular  vein  of 


122  UXCEXSORED  CELEBRITIES 


rashness — "  damn  the  consequences  "  is  with  him 
more  than  the  mood  of  a  moment — and  in  not  avoiding 
the  Boer  War  he  committed  a  capital  error;  perhaps 
he  had  not  reckoned  on  the  Victorian  War  Office. 
But  in  a  general  way  he  recognized  the  danger  of  an 
adventurous  policy  unsupported  by  adequate  military 
force.  Hence  his  anxiety  to  earn7  Prussianism  to  its 
only  logical  conclusion,  an  intense  militarism.  Lord 
Milner's  enthusiasm  for  conscription  long  antedated 
the  present  war.  For  him  it  seemed  mere  common 
sense  that  strong  policy  should  be  supported  by 
strong  armaments,  and,  granting  his  premises,  his 
conclusions  were  unquestionabfy  just.  Only  a  people 
so  illogical  as  the  English  could  at  once  huzza 
for  "  Dr.  Jim  "  and  cut  down  naval  and  milit arr- 
est im  at  es. 

Indeed,  such  virtue  as  resides  in  consistency  can- 
not be  denied  Lord  Milner.  His  politics  are  in  some 
senses  a  little  vague.  He  fits  into  no  English  mould. 
He  is  in  many  ways  the  most  lonely  figure  in  our  public 
life.  But  one  principle  runs  like  a  rod  of  steel  through 
his  career — a  sovereign  contempt  for  the  democratic 
idea.  Not  that  he  is  in  any  way  kin  to  the  "  shoot- 
'em-down  "  Conservatives  with  whom  he  has  been 
brought  into  casual  association.  His  model  State 
would  tolerate  squiredom  as  little  as  the  walking- 
delegate;  for  his  main  quarrel  with  the  democratic 
idea  is  that  it  is  inefficient,  and  his  hatred  of  waste 
would  equally  predispose  him  against  a  mere  gentle- 
man do-nothing  caste.  He  has  no  manner  of  use 
for  looking  backward  to  a  supposed  golden  age.  He 
looks  eagerly  forward  to  an  iron  one;  his  real  ideal 
is  Krupp  and  culture;  a  highly  educated  and  hard- 
working upper  class,  and  the  masses  well  fed,  well 
drilled,  and  broken  into  contented  subordination. 
And  here  we  arrive  at  Prussia  once  more. 


VISCOUNT  MILNER  123 


The  Milner  type  of  mind  is  tolerably  antique.  It 
held,  long  ago,  that  man  was  made  for  the  Sabbath 
and  not  the  Sabbath  for  man.  It  conceives  the  citi- 
zen as  existing  for  the  State  and  not  the  State  for 
the  citizen.  And,  just  as  the  claims  of  the  individual 
are  nothing  beside  the  claims  of  the  State,  so  the 
rights  of  a  great  State  outweigh  those  of  a  small  one. 
The  same  tidiness  of  mind  which  finds  individual 
liberty  wasteful  and  disorderly  also  deplores  the 
loss  of  power  implied  in  small  nationalities.  One  can 
well  imagine  Lord  Milner  agreeing  with  that  German 
professor  who  saw  something  positively  wicked  in  the 
existence  of  an  independent  and  "  slippered  "  Holland. 
No  doubt  the  British  public  has  not  consciously 
weighed  every  act  and  word  of  Lord  Milner.  'But  it 
has  certainly  smelt  his  essential  Prussianism,  and 
has  felt  with  no  incertitude  his  incongruity  as  a 
spiritual  leader  in  a  war  "  ostentatiously  " — to  use 
the  Prime  Minister's  rather  unhapp)'  word — waged 
in  defence  of  individual  liberty  and  national  right. 

The  strength  of  this  distrust  is  really  an  inverted 
compliment  to  Lord  Milner.  He  is  certainly  not 
alone  in  his  views.  But  the)'  are  held  by  him  with 
absolute  sincerity,  and  the  lover  of  freedom  rightly 
sees  his  real  enemy  in  the  man  who  hates  freedom  on 
principle,  and  not  because  his  pocket  is  affected. 
Lord  Milner  inspires  fear  as  a  disinterested  fanatic, 
for  that  is  really  what  he  is,  with  all  the  coolness  of 
his  head  and  heart.  He  does  not  merely  object  to 
what  fails  to  fit  into  his  system;  he  hates  it.  And 
Lord  Milner 's  system  is  just  bureaucracy.  He  is  the 
civil  servant  above  everything.  His  dislike  of  democ- 
racy is  simply,  in  the  ultimate  analysis,  the  dislike 
of  a  civil  servant  for  people  who  "  want  to  know,  you 
know."  Democracy  is  our  old  friend  Tite  Barnacle's 
ogre  "the  public":  that  public  which  impudently 


124  UXCEXSOJRED  CELEBRITIES 

insists  on  questioning  and  criticizing,  when  it  should 
be  content  with  paying  taxes  and  being  managed. 
It  is  true  that  Lord  Milner 's  Civil  Service  would  not 
be  a  How  Not  to  Do  It  Department ;  it  would  really 
work,  as  it  does  in  Prussia.  He  would  do  his  duty  by 
the  herd.  But  he  damns  the  public  as  heartily  as 
he  did  the  consequences. 

He  has  been  described  by  his  admirers  as  "the 
finest  flower  of  human  culture  the  University  of 
Oxford  has  produced  in  our  time  " — which  means 
that  he  is  quite  a  well-educated  man.  On  the  other 
hand,  he  has  been  accused  by  his  critics  of  committing 
more  coarse  and  stupid  blunders  than  any  public 
man  of  his  day.  The  two  extravagances  contain  a 
morsel  of  truth.  Lord  Milner  might  be  considered 
a  youthful  prodigy  at  Oxford,  but  one  doubts  whether 
his  powers  attracted  much  attention  at  Tubingen. 
And  the  very  things  which  we  are  all  agreed  were 
errors  would  never  be  thought  such  in  the  Wilhelm- 
strasse.  Just  as  alcohol  always  retains  a  flavour  of 
the  substance  of  origin,  so  Lord  Milner  is  just  a  little 
foreign  in  his  strong  points  and  his  weaknesses.  He 
is  too  well  educated  to  retain  an  instinct.  He  is  too 
intelligent  to  be  altogether  wise.  In  nothing  is  he 
less  English  than  in  the  splendid  confidence  with 
which  he  steers  straight  for  a  wrong  conclusion  which, 
by  all  known  rules,  should  be  the  right  one.  His  argu- 
ments against  the  grant  of  self-government  to  Africa 
were  really  unanswerable ;  at  any  rate,  they  were  never 
answered.  Yet  "  C.-B.,"  not  a  very  clever  man,  was 
right,  and  Lord  Milner,  a  desperately  clever  man, 
was  demonstrably  wrong. 

It  is  just  this  want  of  the  homely  wisdom  of  the 
common  Englishman  that  makes  it  a  little  doubtful 
whether  Lord  Milner  will  succeed  wholly  in  his  new 
task.     All  will  be  done  that  a  cultivated  and  strong; 


VISCOUNT  MILNER  125 

intelligence,  directed  by  patient  industry,  can  do. 
But  the  man  who  is  to  make  the  most  of  the  New 
Army  wants  something  more  than  intelligence.  He 
must  be  able  to  feel  and  to  smell  what  is  right  and  what 
is  wrong.  And  there  are  two  things  deficient  in  Lord 
Milner,  judging  by  the  facts  of  his  career — he  has  no 
nose,  and  not  too  much  heart. 


MR.  AND  MRS.  SIDNEY  WEBB 

These  twain  the  Heavens  and  the  Heavies — the 
Eternal  Blue  and  the  Eternal  Blue- Book — have  joined 
together;  let  no  man  put  them  asunder. 

No  man  with  a  sense  of  the  fitness  of  things  is  likely 
to  try.  For  here,  if  anywhere,  is  the  perfect  mar- 
riage: two  minds  with  but  a  single  set  of  thoughts, 
two  typewriters  that  click  as  one.  It  is  hard  to 
imagine  Marshall  without  Snelgrove,  Swan  divorced 
from  Edgar;  but  all  that  is  nothing  to  the  strain  of 
thinking  of  Beatrice  and  Sidney  Webb  as  two  distinct 
and  unrelated  individuals. 

There  was  a  time,  of  course,  when  it  was  impossible 
to  speak  of  them  as  "  the  Webbs."  The  couple  were 
in  fact,  of  quite  mature  years  when,  as  far  back  as 
1892,  Miss  Potter,  eighth  daughter  of  a  former  Great 
Western  chairman,  decided  on  the  uncertain  co- 
operative venture  called  marriage.  It  was  natural 
that  she  should  be  attracted  to  Sidney  Webb.  They 
vrere  both  Fabians.  They  had  both  a  fancy  for  arid 
subjects.  She  had  "  personally  investigated  social 
and  industrial  conditions,"  and  written  much  indiges- 
tible matter  thereon ;  the  authorship  of  The  Co-opera' 
live  Movement  in  Great  Britain  already  stood  to 
her  credit,  and  her  maiden  fancy  was  musing  on 
The  Case  for  the  Factory  Acts.  He,  on  the  other 
hand,  after  picking  up  educational  scraps  from  every- 
where, including  the  sandy  wastes  of  Mecklenburg- 
Schwerin,  had  wandered  from  the  City  to  Whitehall, 
from  one  Government  office  to  another,  and  into  the 
London  County  Council. 

126 


MR.  AND  MRS.  SIDNEY  WEBB  127 

A  Cockney  of  Cockneys,  sharp  as  the  London 
sparrow,  and  mentally  as  omnivorous,  he  had  from 
the  first  gained  his  special  niche  in  the  Fabian  move- 
ment. He  was  its  Chief  of  Staff  and  Minister  of 
Munitions.  There  were  plenty  of  excellent  artillerists, 
dashing  cavalry  leaders,  shrewd  organizers  of  ambus- 
cades, clever  raiders  and  camouflagers,  who  won 
applause,  laughter,  and — what  they  prized  equally — 
the  alarmed  detestation  of  the  comfortable  classes. 
But,  far  behind  the  screen  of  fighting  men,  sat  the 
pallid,  short-sighted  strategist,  supplying  his  troops 
with  facts  and  figures,  arguments  and  plans  of  cam- 
paign. Mr.  Webb  has  never  aspired  to  the  limelight; 
he  never  goes  "  over  the  top  " ;  his  place,  and  he  knows 
it,  is  twenty-five  miles  from  the  front.  Hence  nine 
people  out  of  ten,  though  they  have  often  heard  the 
name,  have  the  dimmest  idea  of  the  man;  and  the 
tenth  person,  who  does  know  him,  mingles  esteem 
with  a  slight  tincture  of  distrust. 

It  was,  it  may  be  repeated,  natural  that  these  two 
should  come  together;  yet  the  completeness  of  their 
union  is  none  the  less  remarkable.  In  style  they  have 
nothing  in  common.  The  man  might  pass  at  a  Social- 
ist conference  for  a  proletarian  of  any  country;  the 
woman's  fine  profile  gives  out  the  flavour  of  English 
exclusiveness,  Those  who  know  them  best  say  that 
this  facial  dissimilarity  is  indicative  of  fundamental 
differences  in  their  outlook.  They  go  the  same  road 
for  the  same  end,  but  from  different  motives.  Mr. 
Webb  has  a  whole-hearted  delight  in  regimentation 
for  its  own  sake.  He  would  like  to  see  the  world 
docketed,  drilled,  ordered,  regulated — himself  and 
his  like,  of  course,  doing  the  docketing  and  regulation 
— because  he  honestly  thinks  that  the  world  would  be 
happier  and  better  for  such  guidance. 

Liberty  to  him  means  simple  anarchy.     It  is  the 


128  VN CENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

cause  of  all  our  troubles.  Leave  a  child  in  a  room 
without  a  fireguard  and  you  get  only  material  for 
an  inquest.  Similarly,  the  ordinary  man,  with  red 
blood  and  troublesome  appetites,  is  sure  to  go  wrong 
unless  he  delivers  himself  over  to  the  direction  of  the 
brainy,  who  alone  are  to  be  trusted.  It  is  a  friendly 
instinct,  mingled  with  a  passion  for  ruled  columns 
and  decimal  points,  that  leads  Mr.  Webb  to  his  posi- 
tion, and,  if  only  men  and  women  were  without  souls, 
no  system  could  be  better  than  his. 

Unfortunately,  they  have  tastes  as  well  as  stomachs, 
passions  as  well  as  appetites,  tendencies  to  love, 
quarrel,  and  gamble,  as  well  as  to  work  and  eat.  It  is 
these  uneconomic  proclivities  that  fill  Mr.  Webb  with 
gentle  disapproval.  It  is,  for  example,  highly  irra- 
tional, from  his  point  of  view,  that  the  German 
should  go  to  his  death  singing  "  Deutschland  fiber 
Alles,"  but  even  more  irrational  that  the  Frenchman 
should  have  contributed  to  that  German's  mania  by 
resenting  for  the  best  part  of  fifty  years  the  inclusion 
of  Alsace-Lorraine  in  the  German  Empire.  On  the 
Webb  plan  there  would  have  been  no  "  Revanche  " 
trouble.  For  life,  after  all,  is  a  question  of  wages, 
doctoring,  police,  lamp-posts,  post-offices,  and  efficient 
sanitation.  So  long  as  men  work  and  barter  in  peace, 
are  taxed  with  something  like  equality,  and  are  dis- 
posed of  scientifically  when  dead,  what  more  can  they 
properly  ask  ?  Now,  German  doctors,  police,  lamp- 
posts, post-offices,  and  drains  are  demonstrably  as 
good  as  French,  and  probably  there  are  now  very  man}^ 
more  of  all  these  blessings — especially  police — in 
Alsace-Lorraine  than  there  were  in  1870.  Why,  then, 
worry  over  the  childish  business  of  one  tricolour 
or  another  ?  It  is  pure  unreason  on  both  sides.  Let 
us  have  more  reason,  says  Mr.  Webb,  and  if  reason 
is  incompatible  with  human  nature,  let  us  get  rid  of 
human  nature.     We  shall  be  much  better  without  it. 


MR.  AND  MRS.  SIDNEY  WEBB  129 

Mrs.  Webb,  on  her  side,  is  credited  with  a  rather 
severer  basis  for  her  views.  She  believes  in  shep- 
herding the  masses  not  so  much  because  they  are 
foolish  as  because  they  are  desperately  wicked.  She 
distrusts  the  natural  man,  just  as  she  distrusts  the 
untutored  mother.  The  latter  will  probably  feed 
her  baby  (which  she  should  never  have  had,  and 
would  not  have  had  but  for  the  gross  neglect  of 
eugenic  science)  on  porter  and  chipped  potatoes. 
The  former  will  indulge,  if  he  gets  the  chance, 
certainly  in  pitch-and-toss,  and  quite  possibly  in 
manslaughter.  Look  at  the  statistics.  And  there 
follows  the  dismal  family  history  of  Ann  Veronica 
Patterson,  married  in  1814,  whose  483  descendants 
have  wallowed  in  every  kind  of  infamy,  and  have 
cost  the  ratepayers  and  taxpayers  £83,359  18s.  6|d. 
Also  the  beneficial  effect  of  State  Socialism  in  East 
Prussia,  where  parents  are  allowed  no  choice  in 
regard  to  the  future  of  their  offspring — a  joint  com- 
mittee of  schoolmasters,  professors,  employers,  and 
Civil  Service  officials  deciding  what  trades  the  children 
shall  follow  when  they  have  reached  the  age  of 
fourteen.  Mrs.  Webb  never  changes.  It  is  believed 
she  discusses  Reconstruction  in  bed  when  air-raids 
banish  sleep.  It  is  certain  that  she  quelled  the 
nervousness  of  her  maids  by  getting  them  insured, 
and  showing  them  the  smallness  of  the  premium. 
How  could  they  harbour  panic  when  trained  statis- 
ticians estimate  the  betting  at  more  than  4,000  to  1  1 

The  Webbs  might  have  been  compounded  out  of 
half  a  dozen  Dickens's  characters.  There  is  a  good 
deal  of  Gradgrind  in  them — "  facts,  facts,  give  me 
facts."  Their  investigations  into  foreign  affairs 
rather  recall  the  methods  of  Count  Smorltork.  They 
have  something  of  Miss  Rosa  Dartle's  habit  of  getting 
information   and   extracting   admissions,   under   the 

9 


130  UN  CENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

cloak  of  an  enormous  and  quite  fictitious  innocence. 
They  toss  the  ball  from  one  to  the  other  with  all  the 
skill  of  Mrs.  Heep  and  her  son.  And  in  other  ways 
they  suggest  the  philanthropists  of  Bleak  House. 
True,  41,  Grosvenor  Road,  where  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Webb 
sometimes  give  modest  dinners  to  very  great  people, 
is  as  different  as  can  be,  in  its  ordered  neatness,  from 
the  dingy  den  in  Thavies  Inn  whence  Mrs.  Jeltyby 
directed  her  African  projects.  Yet  there  is  a  certain 
flavour  of  Borriaboola-gha  in  the  Webb  activities. 
The  white  man  is  a  hobby  to  them  as  the  black  man 
was  to  Mrs.  Jellyby.  They  have  an  affinity  for  all 
other  people  with  missions,  as  she  had.  Secretaries 
get  in  the  soup,  and  Blue-Books  into  the  conversation. 
There  is  a  general  flavour  of  paper  in  the  entrees  and 
of  red  ink  in  the  claret,  excellent  as  it  may  be.  When 
an  unrepentantly  human  being  gets  in  that  company 
he  begins  to  understand  why  the  Girondists  had  such 
short  shrift,  why  the  "  intellectual  "  everywhere, 
while  he  helps  to  promote  revolutions,  is  the  first  to 
s  ffer  from  them.  Mere  despair  of  arguing  with 
people  who  do  not  argue  in  return,  but  only  refer  you 
to  what  the  Actuary-General  of  Friendly  Societies 
said  in  1872,  makes  one  want  to  knock  this  modestly 
assured  omniscience  on  the  head. 

The  Webbs  are  Girondists.  One  may  almost  call 
them  the  English  Rolands.  True,  they  are  not 
"  out  "  for  anything  dramatic  in  the  revolutionary 
way;  and  if  Mrs.  Webb  had  to  mount  the  scaffold, 
her  last  words  would  probably  be  statistical.  Nor 
can  one  figure  Mr.  Webb,  however  disconsolate, 
throwing  himself  on  the  point  of  his  sword;  the 
sword  is  not  in  his  line.  But  the  pair  are,  all  the 
same,  playing  something  the  same  part  the  Rolands 
played.  They  have  done  much  to  create  the  Moun- 
tain, and  they  are  already  distrusted  by  it.    /I  have 


MR.  AND  MRS.  SIDNEY  WEBB  131 

heard  that  Messrs.  Chesterton  and  Belloc  were  at  one 
time  under  the  fascination  of  the  Webbs,  just  as 
Robespierre  yielded  to  that  of  the  Rolands;  to-day 
they  are  already  playing  with  their  snickersnees. 

Nor  does  the  rank  and  file  of  "  Labour  "  altogether 
trust  or  like  the  Webbs.  They  draw  up  the  "  settle- 
ments of  the  European  map,"  "  programmes  of  indus- 
trial reconstruction,"  and  the  rest  of  it,  because  they 
can  hardly  be  dispensed  with.  After  all,  a  party 
pretending  to  domination  must  make  some  show  of 
understanding  the  larger  questions  of  the  day.  The 
Webbs  at  least  give  rational  form  to  these  aspirations. 
They  can  invest  most  proposals  with  plausibility. 
It  is  only  natural  that  their  general  attitude  at  this 
time  should  rather  repel  the  simple-minded  patriot, 
who  forgets  that  the  Webbs,  in  the  Minority  Report 
on  the  Poor  Laws,  did  fight  on  the  side  of  the  angels. 
But  they  are  wholly  sincere  and  disinterested.  They 
are  in  no  sense  hypocrites,  or  even  fanatics,  except  as 
an  asylum  warder  may  be  fanatical  against  strong 
delusion.  They  look  on  this  war  as  on  any  other 
form  of  waste,  as  pure  madness,  and  they  want  to 
place  the  world  in  a  strait  waistcoat.  Is  it  their 
fault  that  the  straitest  of  all  strait  waistcoats  are 
made  in  Germany  ? 

That,  of  course,  is  the  whole  secret  of  the  sleepless 
suspicion  with  which  this  amiable  couple  are  watched 
in  many  quarters  to-day.  The  social  system  they 
stand  for  has  largely  been  realized  by  one  State. 
Germany  has  gone  farther  along  the  Webb  route  than 
any  other  nation.  In  the  rebound  against  all  Ger- 
man things  it  is  natural,  even  if  unreasonable,  that 
all  apostles  of  regimentation  should  incur  some 
degree  of  depreciation.  Before  the  war  Webbism 
had  begun  to  be  a  weariness.  It  is  now  perhaps 
viewed  with  a  more  positive  dislike. 


GENERAL  SMUTS 

There  are  two  men  who  most  nearly  express  the 
inarticulate  heart  of  half — and  that  not  the  least 
intelligent  half — of  the  English  people.  And  neither 
of  these  men  is  English.  One  is  the  exceedingly 
powerful  personage  who  speaks  for  the  American 
people.  The  other  is  the  South  African  Dutch  bar- 
rister who  eighteen  years  ago  took  the  field  against 
us  under  Delarey. 

The  fact,  superficially  surprising,  is  capable  of 
ready  explanation.  President  Wilson  and  General 
Jan  Christian  Smuts  represent  things  which  the  great 
dumb  England  has  really  had  in  mind  during  decades 
of  Whig-and-Tory,  Imperialist-and-Little-Englander 
nonsense.  In  the  past  we  have  had  to  choose, 
broadly,  between  undiluted  Outhwaite  and  Lans- 
downe  neat;  and  now, somewhat  to  our  astonishment, 
we  find  the  two  not  so  far  from  each  other,  and  very 
far  from  us. 

It  was  said   of  the   French   Revolution  that   the 

actors  were  pigmies  on  the  most  colossal  stage  ever 

set  by  fate.     That  is  far  truer  of  the  present  drama. 

In  eighteenth-century  France,  if  the  men  were  small, 

their  ideas  were  not.     In  the  England  of  191 8  our 

little  men  are  rather  bigger  than  their  thoughts  and 

words.     Mr.  Asquith  has  often  spoken  with  a  grave 

eloquence  worthy  of  the  times.     Mr.  Lloyd  George 

has  coined  one  or  two  phrases  of  pure  gold  among  a 

barrowload  of  pinchbeck  tokens.     But  the  ludicrous 

"  business  as  usual  "  catchwords  have  predominated, 

and,  on  the  whole,  our  public  men  recall  the  players 

132 


GENERAL  SMUTS  133 

in  the  wood  near  Athens.  We  know  that  Pyramus 
is  really  Bully  Bottom,  that  the  British  lion  is  one 
Snug  the  joiner,  that  all  of  them  "  sweat  for  bread 
upon  Athenian  stalls  "  instead  of  being  really  the 
great  of  the  earth.  We  feel,  too,  that  they  are  dread- 
fully afraid  of  being  hanged,  "  every  mother's  son," 
should  they  play  the  part  too  convincingly. 

Small  wonder,  indeed,  that  the  mere  politician 
should  be  a  little  confounded  by  the  portents  of  these 
times  !  For  he  is  most  ignorant  of  what  he  should 
be  most  assured.  He  knows  nothing  of  Europe,  and 
almost  nothing  of  his  own  people — less  than  nothing 
(since  Mr.  Kipling  is  his  main  interpreter)  of  those 
English-speaking  peoples  who  belong  to  what  we  call 
the  "  Empire." 

Some  two  generations  ago  England  made  up  its 
mind  that  it  did  not  belong  to  the  European  system. 
Its  attitude  to  Continental  questions  is  well  expressed 
by  Carlyle :  "  Tumble  and  rage,  ye  rotten  waifs  and 
wrecks  (the  great  States  of  Europe) ;  clash  and  collide 
as  seems  fittest  to  you ;  and  smite  each  other  into 
annihilation  at  your  good  pleasure."  There  was  a 
time  when  this  nonsense  at  least  sounded  sublime, 
when  it  suggested  splendid  strength  and  self- 
sufficiency.  But  in  reality  our  magnificent  isolation 
was  simply  a  rather  undignified  sleeping  partnership 
with  Prussia.  In  practice  our  indifference  to  Euro- 
pean problems  resolved  itself  into  thanking  Heaven 
that  Bismarck  and  William  I.  were  pious  men  and 
good  husbands,  and  relying  on  them  to  trounce 
France  whenever  she  should  need  it.  Meanwhile  we 
would  go  on  with  our  civilizing  mission  in  the  wild 
places  of  the  earth.  We  would  be  a  Colonial  Power, 
a  Mohammedan  Power,  any  kind  of  Power  but  a 
European  Power.  As  such  we  could  have  no  kind  of 
collision  with  the  Teutonic  cousin — the  "  whale  and 


134  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

the  elephant  "  would   never  fight   a   duel — and   we 
could  make  our  money  in  peace. 

It  is  not  easy,  however,  to  think  in  watertight  com- 
partments. After  some  decades  of  pro-Prussianism 
in  foreign  politics  we  began  to  "  think  Imperially  " 
after  the  Potsdam  manner.  Mr.  Kipling  was  the 
Aaron  of  British  Prussianism,  and  Joseph  Chamber- 
lain its  Moses;  both  showed  extreme  toleration  of 
the  golden-calf  worship  of  Rhodes  and  the  Rand- 
lords,  which,  indeed,  was  in  no  sense  incongruous 
with  their  Imperial  creed.  Mr.  Chamberlain's  scheme 
was  wholly  Prussian  as  far  as  it  went.  True,  he 
proposed  to  employ  silken  chains  instead  of  the 
heavy  fetters  of  militarism;  but  the  object  was  to 
restrict,  canalize,  and  stereotype  in  the  true  Prussian 
way.  Canada  was  to  be  the  granary  and  lumber- 
store  of  the  Empire;  South  Africa  its  mine  and 
vineyard;  Australia  its  wool  farm.  On  the  other 
hand,  Great  Britain  was  to  serve  the  Dominions  as 
workshop,  drawing-room,  and  park.  In  the  pleasant 
southern  counties  and  the  Scottish  deer-forests  the 
plutocrats  of  industrial  England  and  the  grain  and 
meat  kings,  the  diamond  and  gold  millionaires  of 
the  Oversea  States,  were  to  hold  sway  over  a  meek, 
dependent  race;  in  the  grimy  North  and  Midlands 
and  the  spoiled  valleys  of  Wales  a  breed  of  rough 
helots,  content  with  slightly  dearer  food  on  account 
of  certain  wages  improvements  worked  out  to  the 
farthing 's-worth,  would  perennially  labour  in  order 
to  supply  Greater  Britain  with  all  it  needed  in  the 
way  of  machinery  and  manufactured  stuffs. 

There  was  no  thought  in  all  this  of  the  principle 
to  which  we  now  do  at  least  lip  service — the  principle 
of  nationality.  Eternal  tadpolism  was  the  vision  for 
the  Empire;  eternal  helotry  for  the  Mother  Country. 
There  was  no  thought  that  Australia,  South  Africa, 


GENERAL  SMUTS  135 

Canada,  or  New  Zealand  might  conceivably  like  to 
grow  up  in  their  own  way;  that  they  might  wish  to 
evolve  their  own  foreign  policy,  their  own  arts,  their 
own  standards  of  taste,  their  own  scheme  of  life  in 
every  direction— in  a  word,  that  they  might  want  to 
be  nations.  We  may  call  it  pure  Prussianism,  if  we 
divest  Prussianism  for  the  moment  of  the  quite 
incidental  association  of  barbarous  cruelty.  Prussia 
is  capable  of  vileness  and  brutality  astonishing  to 
the  modern  Englishman,  but  she  is  not  gratuitously 
bloodthirsty;  she  only  wades  through  slaughter  to 
an  ideal.  She  would,  no  doubt,  if  she  got  her  way, 
strive  faithfully  to  make  Poland  richer,  more  produc- 
tive, and  even  (in  the  lowest  material  sense)  happier, 
than  ever  before.  The  one  thing  she  will  not  do 
willingly  is  to  permit  Poland  to  develop  on  Poland's 
own  lines,  and  it  was  precisely  such  liberty  that 
Chamberlain's  scheme  forbade  to  the  British 
Dominions. 

The  Kipling-Chamberlain  view,  so  far  as  it  holds 
to-day,  is  a  real  danger  to  what  we  call  the  British 
Empire,  but  what  General  Smuts  (as  we  ought  to 
note  carefully)  prefers  to  call  the  British  Common- 
wealth. If  we  go  on  thinking  All-Red,  if  we  imagine 
that  "  Imperial  sentiment  "  is  to  be  fostered  by  toss- 
ing a  few  trumpery  peerages  and  orders  across  the 
seas,  if  we  conceive  of  the  "  daughter  States  "  as  a 
mob  of  barges  to  be  towed  wherever  the  Mother- 
Country  steam  tug  cares  to  drag  them,  our  mistake 
will  be  fatal.  These  young  communities  are  not 
fighting  for  Britain  or  "  the  Empire,"  but  for  their 
own  menaced  nationhood .  They  are  having  a  dread- 
ful tussle  to  withstand  Prussianism  in  shining  armour. 
They  will  not  voluntarily  abase  themselves  before 
Prussianism  in  pantomime  properties. 

Read  with  discernment,  the  speeches  of  General 


186  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

Smuts  will  be  found  to  contain  more  than  one  hint  on 
this  point.  Of  his  loyalty  there  is  as  little  doubt  as 
of  his  penetrating  intelligence.  The  first  has  been 
proved  by  deeds  which  are  already  great  history. 
The  latter  has  been  illustrated  in  the  astonishingly 
varied  successes  of  a  man  yet  less  than  forty-eight. 
When  Smuts  was  a  mere  lad,  son  of  a  farmer  in  Cape 
Colony,  the  attention  of  Cecil  Rhodes,  among  whose 
virtues  the  capacity  to  discern  and  the  will  to  assist 
native  ability  was  conspicuous,  was  turned  to  his 
great  powers  of  mind.  The  Dutch  stripling  was 
given  every  chance,  and  fully  availed  himself  of  his 
opportunities.  At  Cambridge  he  took  a  double  first 
in  the  Law  Tripos;  he  fought  brilliantly  during  the 
Boer  War;  he  played  an  influential  part  in  the  peace 
negotiations;  as  a  Minister  he  applied  himself,  when 
the  Constitution  was  granted,  to  the  work  of  national 
reconstruction  and  racial  conciliation;  he  shares  with 
Botha  the  credit  of  quelling  the  rebellion  of  De  Wet 
and  Beyers;  and  he  broke  the  back  of  the  German 
resistance  in  British  East  Africa.  Perhaps  we  must 
go  back  to  Clive  before  we  find,  in  the  case  of  a  man 
not  bred  to  arms,  so  complete  a  union  of  the  talents 
of  the  soldier  and  the  administrator. 

But  there  is  a  certain  coldness  and  hardness,  as  of 
the  diamond,  in  all  this  brilliance.  That  General 
Smuts  is  a  humane  man  we  know  from  every  action 
of  his  life.  There  was  no  mistaking  the  genuineness 
of  his  emotion  when  he  reluctantly  declared  for  an 
aerial  reprisal  policy  against  German}'  on  the  grounds 
of  military  necessity.  But  it  needs  only  one  glance 
at  the  high  forehead,  the  steely  eyes,  the  straight 
eyebrows  depressed  in  an  habitual  half- frown,  the 
emphatic  nose,  the  tightly  closed  lips,  and  the  granitic 
chin  to  beware  of  trusting  to  any  human  weakness 
deflecting  the  deliberate  judgment  of  his  intelligence. 


GENERAL  SMUTS  137 

He  is  a  type  altogether  un-English,  innocent  of 
English  double  vision  and  compromise;  he  under- 
stands nothing  of  partly  circular  triangles  and  "  liberal 
oligarchies."  His  mind  is  perhaps  as  clear  of  cant 
as  any  living  man's,  while  most  Englishmen  clothe 
themselves  in  cant  as  in  a  garment. 

This  must  be  remembered  in  assessing  the  loyalty 
of  General  Smuts.  It  is  not  loyalty  to  a  King- 
Emperor.  It  is  still  less  loyalty  to  Downing  Street, 
Park  Lane,  or  Berkeley  Square.  It  is  loyalty  to 
a  country  and  to  an  idea,  not  to  an  "  Empire." 
Smuts's  country  is  South  Africa;  his  idea  is  demo- 
cracy: the  rule  of  the  people,  and  not  the  rule  of 
any  section  of  the  people,  be  it  "  Labour  "  or  some 
other.  And  his  "  democracy  "  is  no  molluscoid 
organism  fit  only  to  exist  in  a  world  of  molluscs. 
He  is  for  a  League  of  Nations,  but  he  means  it  to 
be  something  very  different  from  an  International 
Band  of  Unfulfilled  Hope.  For  him  democracy  is 
indeed  the  rule  of  peace,  but  a  rule  potentially  terrible 
to  the  enemies  of  peace. 

And  it  is  clear  that,  while  willing  enough  to  help 
the  old  world  to  throw  off  its  fetters,  he  looks  with 
greatest  hope  to  the  new  world.  His  piercing  intelli- 
gence was  the  first  to  recognize  the  immense  differ- 
ence brought  about  by  President  Wilson's  decision  to 
enter  the  war.  To-day  he,  above  all  other  statesmen, 
realizes  that  this  is  no  dynastic  struggle  to  be  patched 
up  by  another  Berlin  or  Vienna  Conference,  but  a 
life-and -death  fight  between  two  principles.  The  old 
world  lived  in  a  state  of  unstable  equilibrium,  and 
the  collapse  was  bound  to  come.  A  jumble  of  pure 
autocracies,  mixed  constitutions,  related  dynasties, 
scheming  kings,  insincere  diplomacies,  in  Europe;  a 
rotting  anarchy  of  dying  systems  in  Asia;  weakly 
violent  Governments  and  dangerously  rich  territories 


138  UN  CENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

in  South  America ;  and  elsewhere  young  communities 
in  moral  and  intellectual  habit  far  more  remote  from 
the  aristocracy-hidden  European  than  the  Prussian  is 
from  the  Japanese — how  could  such  a  chaos  subsist 
indefinitely  ?  Germany's  enterprise,  properly  under- 
stood, was  to  give  the  world  the  uniformity  of  an 
efficient  rule  from  above.  She  wanted  to  be  a  new 
Rome,  giving  law  to  the  world  as  Rome  did,  but 
perhaps,  like  Rome,  not  unwilling  to  learn  from  her 
captives.  The  German  sense  of  tidiness  was  affronted 
by  the  disorderly  arrangements  of  the  old  world ;  the 
German  sense  of  thrift  rebelled  against  the  spectacle 
of  competing  armaments,  pegged-out  and  undeveloped 
claims,  and  unemployed  resources.  We  shall  wholly 
misunderstand  the  philosophical  basis  of  pan-Ger- 
manism if  we  fail  to  recognize  a  certain  inhuman 
grandeur  in  the  conception  of  a  whole  world  as  well 
ordered,  as  well  developed,  and  as  well  disciplined  as 
the  great  Hohenzollern  farm  which  we  call  the 
German  Empire. 

And  it  is  still  the  question  to-day  whether  the 
German  idea  shall  prevail  or  another  the  world  has 
still  to  test.  There  can  be  no  question  of  status  quo. 
There  must  be  the  symmetry  of  freedom  or  the  sym- 
metry of  a  triumphant  tyranny.  Despotism  must 
conquer  or  be  conquered,  now  and  by  present  weapons, 
or  later,  and  with  still  more  frightful  means.  We 
must  all  be  slaves  or  all  be  free.  General  Smuts  has 
happily  decided  that  we  must  all  be  free;  one  shudders 
at  the  thought  of  what  might  have  happened  had 
his  mind  been  captivated  by  the  other  ideal,  which 
now,  as  in  Napoleon's  time,  satisfies  many  brilliant 
intellects.  But  let  us  not  fail  to  draw  the  correct 
inference.  The  British  Monarchy  need  not  share  in 
the  fall  of  other  venerable  thrones;  but  the  British 
Empire  must  become  the  British  Commonwealth .     The 


GENERAL  SMUTS  139 

new  Poland  must  be  paralleled  by  a  new  Ireland ; 
there  must  be  free  co-operation  everywhere  or  frank 
divorce;  there  must  be  no  attempt  to  treat  the 
Dominions  as  mere  pawns  in  the  game  of  European 
politics.  With  the  British  people  General  Smuts  is 
ready  to  make  common  cause;  but  does  he  quite 
identify  the  British  people  with  the  British  ruling 
class  ?  What  virtually  amounted  to  the  assertion 
by  General  Smuts  of  a  Monroe  Doctrine  for  South 
Africa  passed  almost  unnoticed ;  it  was  in  reality  a 
most  important  declaration,  and  one  to  be  well 
pondered  by  our  statesmen.  It  laid  down  the  prin- 
ciple that  the  Dominions  are  nations,  and  that  the 
pressure  of  the  heel  of  a  single  European  soldier  in 
white  man's  Africa  will  be  resented  just  as  we  should 
resent  the  presence  of  a  foreign  garrison  in  the  Isle 
of  Wight.  The  statement  has  implications  which 
deserve  close  consideration. 

It  may  be  an  exaggeration  to  say  that  General 
Smuts  was  included  in  the  War  Cabinet  in  order  to 
reassure  the  British  people.  But  it  is  certain  that 
his  inclusion  has  had  that  effect ;  the  public  mind 
accepted  him  as  a  counterpoise  to  elements  it  dis- 
trusted wholly.  This  is  the  more  remarkable  because 
a  certain  shadow  of  suspicion  once  rested  on  the 
General.  Labour  had  not  forgotten  his  part  in  the 
suppression  of  the  Syndicalist  strikes  in  Johannes- 
burg. In  more  exalted  circles  there  may  have 
lingered  doubts  based  on  his  enigmatic  character. 
How  he  is  now  regarded  by  the  thoroughgoing 
Imperialist  is  uncertain.  But  the  British  people, 
always  wiser  than  its  rulers,  looks  to  him  rather  than 
to  some  of  its  own  race  for  the  right  word.  More 
than  once  the  War  Cabinet  has  taken  shelter  behind 
the  prestige  of  his  name;  it  will  be  wise  to  mark 
with    understanding    and    without    resentment    the 


140  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

slight  suggestion  of  warning  which  lies  behind  some 
of  his  utterances. 

General  Smuts  may  be  relied  on  to  do  his  best  for 
Great  Britain,  however  foolish,  as  against  Germany. 
But  he  is  not  necessarity  allied  for  ever  to  British 
Imperialism.  At  the  risk  of  being  wearisome,  it 
may  be  well  to  point  out  once  more  that  he  has 
frequently  said  he  prefers  the  words  "  British 
Commonwealth  "  to  the  words  "  British  Empire." 
It  may  be  that  General  Smuts  is  a  fanatic  for  fine 
shades  of  meaning,  like  that  Sir  James  Mackintosh 
who  debated  for  six  months  whether  he  should  say 
"  utility  "  or  "  usefulness,"  and  changed  the  ideas 
of  a  lifetime  after  half  an  hour's  conversation  with 
Pitt. 

It  may  be.  But  most  people,  after  a  quite  insig- 
nificant personal  contact  with  General  .Smuts,  would 
say  that  he  is  not  quite  that  kind  of  man. 


MR.  ARTHUR  HENDERSON 

He  used  to  be  called  "Uncle  Arthur  "  by  his  fellow 
trade  unionists.  Perhaps  he  still  is,  the  "  Right 
Honourable  "  notwithstanding.  For  the  nickname 
is  too  good  an  inspiration  to  be  lost.  There  is  some- 
thing richly  avuncular  in  Mr.  Henderson.  He  is  too 
young  and  vigorous  to  be  grandfatherly,  far  too 
dignified  to  become  mere  "  mate,"  too  sympathetic 
to  be  without  a  familiar  appellative. 

"  Uncle  "  exactly  suits  him  in  his  capacity  of 
Labour  leader.  He  smiles  at  an  audience  as  if  he 
had  just  tipped  each  individual  member  of  it,  and 
in  such  sort  as  to  suggest  a  pocket  still  bulging  with 
sixpences.  He  has  the  weight  of  experience,  as  an 
uncle  should,  but  all  an  uncle's  tolerance  for  the 
pranks   of  youth.     "  Boys  will  be  boys,  but  when 

you're  as  old  as  I  am "  and  then  follows  the  sage- 

ness  of  counsel  which  fails  to  offend.  How  could  it, 
with  that  good-humoured  face,  innocent  of  all  irony, 
that  well-groomed,  prosperous  figure,  and  that  heavy 
watch-chain,  all  telling  of  the  battle  of  life  well  won? 

A  comfortable  man  is  Mr.  Henderson.  He  belongs 
to  the  "  aristocracy  of  Labour."  He  has  worked  with 
his  hands — he  was  apprenticed  as  a  moulder  on  Tyne- 
side — but  it  was  long,  long  ago.  He  has  been  in 
trade  union  work  these  many  years.  He  has  brought 
up  a  family  on  it,  and  three  of  his  sons  have  done 
their  duty  as  soldiers  in  the  war.  He  got  into  Parlia- 
ment through  it  some  fourteen  }rears  ago,  winning 
Barnard  Castle  (which  he  still  holds)  in  a  three- 
cornered   contest.    Since  then   he  has   been  at   the 

141 


142  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

very  heart  of  the  Parliamentary  Labour  movement, 
and  now  seems  almost  to  enjoy  the  freehold  of  its 
chairmanship.  He  has  found  time  for  civic  activities ; 
he  has  never  ceased  to  be  a  local  preacher  of  the 
Wesleyan  persuasion,  and  at  Bands  of  Hope,  Pleasant 
Sunday  Afternoons,  and  the  like  he  is  an  honoured 
figure.  All  this  experience  has  given  him  a  gift  of 
pontifical  speech,  a  considerable  knowledge  of  many 
things,  a  practical  faculty  in  public  business.  It  has 
helped  to  give  him  also  a  certain  very  British  woolli- 
ness  of  mind,  which  explains  much  in  his  recent  career. 

I  remember  reading  a  speech  by  Mr.  Henderson 
very  early  in  the  war.  He  stated  that  he  first  had 
his  doubts  as  to  the  wisdom  and  justice  of  our  refusal 
to  remain  neutral,  but  after  spending  a  whole  Sunday 
afternoon  reading  the  British  Blue-Book  he  came 
to  the  conclusion  that  war  was  justified  and  indeed 
inevitable.  That  is  very  typical  of  the  man.  Words 
convinced  where  deeds  did  not.  He  was  not  going 
to  condemn  the  tiger  because  he  saw  it  actually 
rending  a  lamb;  that  might  be  unjust  to  the  tiger. 
But  he  could  not  resist  affidavits  from  the  official 
shepherds  and  an  authoritative  zoologist  from  South 
Kensington. 

It  is,  of  course,  the  more  to  Mr.  Henderson's  credit 
that,  being  thus  constituted,  he  did,  in  fact,  after 
accepting  the  evidence,  accept  also  the  logical  con- 
sequences of  his  conversion.  He  drew  apart  from  the 
Keir  Hardies  and  MacDonalds.  A  pacifist  by  nature 
and  habit,  he  threw  himself  energetically  into  war 
work,  and  the  value  of  his  influence  in  those  early 
days  can  hardly  be  overstate^,.  His  honesty  is  unim- 
peachable. But  the  story  of  this  particular  pleasant 
Sunday  afternoon  is  none  the  less  significant.  In 
case  of  an  escape  of  gas  one  trusts  the  man  with  a 
nose  rather  than   the   man   who  looks   up   Sanitary 


MR.  ARTHUR  HENDERSON  148 

Hints  for  Householders.  Mr.  Henderson  had  no  nose 
for  Junker  German}'.  The  fact  makes  one  wonder 
whether  he  has  a  nose  for  many  other  things. 

He  certainly  had  none  for  revolutionary  Russia. 
He  is  not  to  be  blamed  for  the  failure  of  his  mission.  It 
was  bound  to  fail.  Apart  from  the  damnosa  hereditas 
of  Lord  Milner's  junketings  with  the  Sturmers  and 
Protopopoffs,  every  circumstance  conspired  to  make 
impossible  Mr.  Henderson's  task  of  People's  Ambas- 
sador to  the  triumphant  proletariat.  He  was  sent 
out  by  a  Cabinet  quite  undecided  whether  to  welcome 
or  reprobate  the  revolution.  Among  his  credentials 
was  that  extraordinary  speech  of  congratulation  by 
Mr.  Bonar  Law  which  was  half  dirge  and  half  insult. 
He  knew  no  word  of  any  language  but  his  North- 
Country  English.  His  Socialism  was  destitute  of  any 
philosophical  basis.  The  whole  habit  of  his  mind  was 
bourgeois.  He  knew  the  British  Labour  movement 
through  and  through,  and  this  knowledge  at  least 
served  him  well  in  contact  with  the  Petrograd  zealots. 
For  when  they  began  to  quote  that  Bible  of  Collec- 
tivism, Das  Kapital,  of  Karl  Marx,  Mr.  Hender- 
son could  always  deftly  turn  the  conversation  to 
practical  trade  union  organization,  of  which  his  hosts 
were  abysmally  ignorant. 

Mr.  Henderson  thus  retained  a  certain  personal 
prestige.  But  in  that  whirlpool  of  conflicting  ten- 
dencies, among  the  Girondins,  the  ferocious  logicians 
of  the  Extreme  Left,  the  interested  schemers,  the 
cosmopolitan  spies,  and  the  mere  miscellaneous  black- 
guards with  whom  the  Russian  capital  swarmed,  it 
was  impossible  for  him  either  to  control  or  divine 
tendencies.  He  could  only  judge  things  by  their 
names,  and  the  same  names  mean  very  different 
things  in  different  countries.  Mr.  Henderson  was 
misled,  and  he  misled  his  chief  when  he  returned. 


144  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

We  do  not  know  the  complete  history  of  the 
Stockholm  Conference.  But  there  is  every  reason  to 
believe  that  the  Prime  Minister  coquetted  with  the 
idea  for  some  time  before  he  threw  it  over,  and, 
with  it,  Mr.  Henderson.  A  Minister  can  hardly  be 
retained  in  a  Cabinet  which  decisively  rejects  his 
views  on  a  vital  question.  The  ejection  was  in- 
evitable, but  it  was  a  right  instinct  which  protested 
against  the  manner  of  it.  It  was  felt  that  Lord 
Curzon  would  not  have  been  treated  in  that  par- 
ticular way.  The  "  doormat  "  incident  was  resented 
by  thousands  who  had  little  sympatlry  with  Mr. 
Henderson's  views.  That  it  has  rankled  with  its 
victim  there  can  be  little  doubt;  probably  wounded 
self-pride  has  thrown  him  considerably  more  to  the 
left  than  he  would  otherwise  have  gone.  He  is  not 
a  little  vain;  a  certain  pliability  mingles  with  some 
stubbornness  in  his  character,  and  there  are  clever 
people  not  slow  to  take  advantage  of  these  weaknesses. 

Mr.  Henderson,  the  least  sphinx-like  of  figures, 
remains  rather  an  enigma.  He  is  busily,  and  with 
some  success,  building  up  a  new  party  organization. 
Is  it  a  case  of  "  Sic  vos  non  vobis"?  Will  he  use 
the  instrument  himself,  or  is  it  being  prepared  for 
another  ?  And  if  he  is  to  be  the  leader,  what  lead 
will  he  give  ?  Certainly  no  politician  has  a  larger 
opportunity.  A  great  political  genius,  with  no  point 
of  view  but  that  of  the  architect,  would  prefer  his 
materials  to  any  at  present  available.  He  could  be 
sure  of  a  great  and  fairly  permanent  majority.  He 
might  have  with  him  the  men  who  do  the  best  work 
with  their  hands  and  those  who  do  the  best  work 
with  their  brains.  He  could  settle  for  ever  problems 
soluble  by  no  other  formula.  He  might  make  us 
democratic  without  vulgarizing  us  still  further.  He 
might  preserve  all  that  is  useful  and  dignified  in  the 


MR.  ARTHUR  HENDERSON  145 

remains  of  aristocracy,  while  calling  into  life  a  whole 
world  of  new  energies.  He  might  make  of  our  lop- 
sided country,  with  its  starved  land  and  overgrown 
towns,  its  contrasting  superfluity  and  indigence,  a 
thing  of  health  and  symmetry — not  the  "  workshop 
of  the  world,"  or  its  counting-house,  or  a  million- 
aires' pleasure-garden,  but  the  home  of  a  sanely 
developed  race. 

But  though  England  is  inclined  to  democracy, 
England  is  by  no  means  disposed  to  the  rule  of  mere 
11  Labour."  It  was  probably  never  less  inclined  for 
experiments  of  the  Russian  kind.  It  is  not  going 
simply  to  swap  oligarchies,  and  it  thinks,  with  some 
reason,  that  a  purely  Labour  oligarchy  would  be 
probably  the  worst  of  all  oligarchies.  Besides,  Mr. 
Henderson,  the  product  of  the  chapel  and  the  trade 
union,  with  little  intellectual  energy,  and  an  overplus 
of  Victorian  primness,  is  hardly  the  man  one  figures 
either  as  the  chief  of  a  faction  or  the  leader  of  a 
nation.  In  the  whole  Labour  Part}',  indeed,  there  is 
no  evidence  of  a  mind  capacious  enough  for  the  work 
of  social  and  political  reconstruction  on  broadly  demo- 
cratic lines.  It  is  much  more  probable  that  the  work 
Mr.  Henderson  is  doing  will  be  completed  by  some 
quite  unknown  person  now  in  a  trench  in  Flanders 
or  Artois.  And  probably  that  person  will  be  either 
a  poor  man  of  family  or  a  true  sansculotte. 

It  is,  after  all,  seldom  that  one  of  Mr.  Henderson's 

type  successfully  guides  any  great  movement.    Small 

respectability  is  at  a  disadvantage  in  appealing  to  the 

masses  in  times  of  great  exaltation.     It  knows  men 

neither  at  their  best  nor  at  their  worst.     It  is  without 

either  the  intuition  of  genius  or  the  sympathy  born 

of  experience.     Great  popular  leaders  generally  come 

from  above  or  from  the  very  depths.     I  think  it  was 

Lamb  who  remarked  that  while  no  sense  of  fitness  is 

xo 


146  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

outraged  by  the  King's  marriage  with  the  beggar 
maid,  we  should  resent  a  Royal  wedding  with  the 
grocer's  daughter  as  bride. 

And  Mr.  Henderson  belongs  rather  to  the  grocer 
scheme  of  things.  His  abilities  and  virtues  are  all 
on  the  back-parlour  scale.  His  nose  is  not  to  be 
trusted,  as  we  have  seen,  and  his  eyes  are  by  no 
means  "  double  million  gas  microscopes  of  hextra 
power."  He  is  shrewd  in  a  Sancho  Panza  way,  and 
by  no  means  deficient  in  judgment  where  his  own 
interest  is  concerned.  He  is  ambitious,  too,  and  in 
quiet  times  aspiring  and  unresting  mediocrity  often 
wins  the  race  against  great  talent.  But  the  present 
emergency  demands  a  very  extraordinary  man,  and 
Mr.  Henderson  is  rather  a  quite  ordinary  man  in  a 
very  extraordinary  situation. 


MR.  HORATIO  BOTTOMLEY 

Appearances  notwithstanding,  it  is  a  mistake  to 
think  of  Mr.  Horatio  Bottomley  as  a  twentieth- 
century  Englishman.  He  belongs  to  all  ages  and 
all  countries,  and  to  a  good  many  limited  liability 
companies. 

There  is  nothing  so  enduring  as  the  ephemeral. 
Creatures  which  are  born  and  die  within  the  limits  of 
a  summer  day  came  into  the  world  countless  ages 
before  the  diplodocus,  and  will  gyrate  countless  ages 
after  man  and  all  his  works  have  disappeared.  And 
in  human  things  nothing  is  quite  so  ancient  as  ex- 
treme modernity.  The  man  who  above  all  others 
seems  to  belong  to  the  hour,  in  reality  belongs  beyond 
all  others  to  the  ages.  Pascal  and  Augustine  might 
find  a  difficulty  in  understanding  each  other;  Beau 
Brummel  and  one  of  Juvenal's  dandies  would  have 
none. 

I  have  not  the  advantage  of  Mr.  Bottomley's 
acquaintance.  For  any  knowledge  of  him  I  am  in- 
debted to  newspapers  and  popular  rumour,  and  to 
the  evidence  of  his  writings  and  speeches.  I  did  not 
know,  until  I  turned  to  a  reference  book,  that  he  lives 
in  Pall  Mall  (in  company  with  a  stuffed  racehorse), 
and  that  he  has  a  country  place  extraordinarily  and 
yet  somehow  appropriately  called  "  The  Dicker.'' 
Of  his  "  large  financial  undertakings  in  the  City,' 
of  the  part  that  he  played  as  "  pioneer  of  West 
Australian  mining,"  I  know  exceedingly  little.  I 
remember  vaguely  something  about  the  Hansard 
Union,  and  more  vividly  two  cases  of  Regina  versus 

M7 


148  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

Bottomley  and  Rex  versus  Bottomley,  in  which  the 
defendant  was  complimented  by  his  judges  on  the 
success  with  which  he  conducted  his  own  defence. 
I  have  watched  Mr.  Bottomley  in  the  House  of 
Commons  as  an  Independent  Liberal,  and  I  have 
heard  of  him  on  the  Turf. 

A  slight  qualification,  this  must  seem,  for  the  task 
in  hand,  and,  curiously  enough,  little  help  comes 
from  the  professional  biographer,  who  is  a  little 
vague  just  where  one's  curiosity  is  most  deeply 
stirred.  Yet  I  think  I  know  Mr.  Bottomley  exceed- 
ingly well.  I  have  never  met  him  at  Pall  Mall  or 
"  The  Dicker,"  but  I  perfectly  remember  him  in 
Revolutionary  Paris.  I  seem  to  remember  also  a 
Mr.  Bottomley  who  called  himself  something  else  in 
the  time  of  good  King  George.  There  was  a  Mr. 
Bottomley,  sometimes  Cavalier  and  sometimes  Round- 
head, in  Stuart  England.  And  I  distinctly  recall 
Mr.  Bottomley  when  he  shouted  for  a  Business 
Emperor  in  fourth-century  Rome,  and  for  a  Business 
Consul  five  hundred  years  before.  He  was  active  at 
the  time  of  the  Punic  War,  and  never  more  inde- 
fatigable than  when  he  led  the  shout  in  Athens  of 
"  Down  with  Aristides  and  the  Old  Gang."  Whether 
it  was  the  same  Mr.  Bottomley  whose  cymbal  was 
loudest  over  the  fall  of  Pharaoh's  army,  and  whose 
criticisms  were  harshest  of  the  Mosaic  commissariat 
and  water  supply,  I  cannot  definitely  say.  But  it 
was  certainly  one  of  the  family. 

It  is  only  by  thus  tracing  Mr.  Bottomley  through 
the  ages  that  we  arrive  at  the  secret  of  his  influence 
to-day.  Mr.  Bottomley  is  always  with  us;  he  has 
conducted  his  financial  operations  in  talents,  ses- 
terces, ducats,  pieces-of-eight,  and  probably  in  cowrie 
shells ;  he  has  been  a  pioneer  (though  not  of  the  pick 
and  spade  kind)  in  Ophir  and  Golconda  as  well  as 


MR.  HORATIO  BOTTOMLEY  149 

Western  Australia;  he  has  told  people  in  every 
dialect  what  people  like  to  hear.  But,  just  as  the 
ever-present  germ  is  only  noticed  in  conditions 
favourable  to  an  epidemic,  so  Mr.  Bottomley  only 
becomes  important  in  times  of  great  and  rather  un- 
healthy excitement.  Carlyle  has  pointed  out  that 
the  sceptical  ages  are  always  the  most  credulous  because 
they  are  the  least  wholesome.  It  is  certainly  true  that 
there  is  a  credulity  of  unbelief  as  well  as  a  credulity  of 
faith ;  that  a  certain  class  of  practitioner  flourishes  on 
overknowingness  rather  than  on  simple  ignorance. 

They  that  are  whole  need  not  a  physician,  but  they 
that  are  sick.  And  the  sicker  a  certain  kind  of  man 
becomes  the  more  he  delivers  himself  over  to  the 
sort  of  physician  who  is  coldly  viewed  in  Harley 
Street.  "  Cure  guaranteed  "  is  so  much  more  cheering 
a  formula  than  "  Wait  and  see."  It  is  pleasing  to 
be  told  that  you  will  eat  your  Christmas  dinner  in 
peace  and  comfort ;  it  may  even  do  you  good  in 
certain  circumstances.  You  may  smile  at  Blinkum's 
Pills  when  you  are  well,  you  ma}r  scoff  at  the  Some- 
thing Electro-Magnetic  Knee  Belt  when  you  have  never 
known  rheumatism .  But  if  you  really  feel  ill,  and  have 
no  faith  in  doctors,  it  is  quite  probable  that  you  will 
succumb  to  the  wizardry  of  the  irregular  practitioner. 

When  the  British  nation  felt  easy  in  body  and  mind 
it  treated  Mr.  Bottomley  as  the  healthy  man  treats 
the  patent  medicine  advertiser — as  one  of  the  stock 
jokes  of  the  day.  It  had,  as  a  whole,  small  interest 
in  his  financial  undertakings,  just  as  the  newspaper 
reader  cares  nothing  about  the  money  side  of  "  Life 
Pellets,  Limited,"  or  about  the  ultimate  effect  of  that 
company's  products  on  the  agonized  young  typist  to 
whom  they  are  alleged  to  have  brought  instant  relief. 
The  public  did  not  take  Mr.  Bottomley  very  seriously, 
either  as  a  pioneer  of  mining  or  a  politician.     But  it 


150  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

was  amused  by  his  talk  and  rather  admired  his 
undoubted  cleverness.  There  was  more  than  one 
moment  when  the  case  appeared  to  be  "  Bottomley 
contra  Mundum,"  and  Bottomley  always  won.  It 
was  said  of  Liberty  Wilkes  that  you  might  strip 
him,  stab  him,  shoot  him,  throw  him  over  London 
Bridge,  and  next  morning  he  would  turn  up  with  a 
cocked  hat,  a  smart  coat,  ruffled  cuffs,  a  gold  watch 
in  his  fob,  and  a  hundred  guineas  in  his  pocket.  To 
this  irrepressibility  much  of  his  popularity  was  due ; 
the  British  public  admires  "  gameness"  above  every- 
thing else.  The  illustration  is  arbitrary.  Mr.  Bot- 
tomley in  no  way  suggests  Wilkes,  saVe  in  this  single 
particular  of  winning  sympathy  that  has  no  kinship 
to  approbation.  He  excited  in  his  salad  days  the 
same  sort  of  interest  men  show  in  the  patter  of  a 
clever  cheap-jack  at  a  fair.  One  may  have  a  shrewd 
guess  that  the  silver  English  lever  jewelled  in  eighty- 
seven  holes  is  not  good  value  for  twenty-nine  and  six ; 
one  knows  quite  well  that  honest  Hodge  has  no 
money  to  waste  on  such  a  thing;  but  the  laugh  is 
always  against  Hodge  and  with  the  dashing  salesman 
when  the  lot  is  knocked  down  and  Hodge's  wife 
begins  to  scold  him. 

Of  Mr.  Bottomley 's  cleverness  there  can  be  no 
doubt  whatever;  he  has  no  intellect  in  the  higher 
sense,  but  in  brain  power  of  a  certain  kind  he  has 
probably  but  one  living  equal.  He  has  a  perfect 
understanding  of  the  common  man  of  a  not  too 
pleasant  type,  who  plays  "  darts  "  in  public-houses 
and  makes  a  book  in  sixpences,  and  sees  all  life 
through  the  gin-dimmed  windows  of  a  bar.  I 
imagine  Mr.  Tittlebat  Titmouse,  when  still  a  draper's 
assistant,  would  have  considered  "  John  Bull  "  prime, 
and  when  he  arrived  at  his  "  ten  thousand  a  year  " 
would  have  got  Mr.  Bottomley  to  write  his  election 
address.    Mr.    Bottomley    possesses    that    kind     of 


MR.  HORATIO  BOTTOMLEY  151 

frankness  that  makes  an  excessive  appeal  to  men 
who  judge  all  corn  by  their  own  mean  little  private 
bushels.  The  more  generous  world,  too,  is  so  used 
to  high  professions  and  low  performances,  that  when 
a  man  says,  "  I  pretend  to  be  no  better  than  I  am," 
it  is  apt  to  believe  that  he  is  much  better  than  he 
pretends.  The  saint  who  steps  forth  to  whip  hypo- 
crisy is  handicapped  first  by  the  suspicion  that  he 
may  not  be  a  saint  after  all,  and  next  by  the  assump- 
tion that  if  he  is  really  a  saint  his  judgment  of 
average  humanity  will  be  faulty.  But  there  is 
always  a  sympathetic  hearing  for  the  man  who 
begins:  "  You  all  know  me,  and  I  couldn't  humbug 
you  even  if  I  wanted  to."  Mr.  Bottomley  stands,  in 
the  popular  eye,  for  "  no  humbug  "  and  anti-Puri- 
tanism, and  that  is  really  the  secret  of  such  influence 
as  he  possesses. 

It  would  be  unjust  to  Mr.  Bottomley  to  deny  that 
that  influence  has  on  the  whole  been  exercised  in  the 
right  direction  during  the  war.  It  is  probably  not 
very  great;  though  a  high  value  seems  to  be  put  on 
his  services  as  a  propagandist,  if  one  can  judge  from 
the  accounts  of  a  local  meeting  held  the  other  day. 
Mr.  Bottomley  is  a  patriot  in  his  way;  and  it  is 
credibly  stated  that  his  religious  convictions  have 
ripened  during  the  war.  Some  rhapsodies  of  his 
have  been  the  delight  of  the  wicked  and  the  astonish- 
ment of  the  serious,  but  they  are  said  to  represent 
the  author's  feeling — at  the  time.  His  champion- 
ship of  the  under-dogs  is  equally  sincere;  he  loves 
to  make  the  widow's  heart  to  sing  for  joy,  and  is  un- 
questionably a  good-natured  man. 

But  when  all  allowance  is  made,  it  must  be  said 
that  he  is  a  queer  figure  for  a  national  hero.  In  the 
words  of  the  sage  of  Chelsea,  if  he  is  to  be  so  regarded, 
then  England  is  "  dreadfully  off  for  demi-gods." 


THE  MARQUESS  OF  LANSDOWNE 

"  It  hath  been  an  opinion  that  the  French  are  wiser  than  they 
seem,  and  the  Spaniards  seem  wiser  than  they  are;  but  howso- 
ever it  be  between  nations,  certainly  it  is  so  between  man  and 
man;  for,  as  the  Apostle  saith  of  godliness,  '  Having  a  show  of 
godliness,  but  denying  the  power  thereof,'  so  certainly  there  are, 
in  points  of  wisdom  and  sufficiency,  they  that  do  nothing  or 
little,  very  solemnly.  .  .  .  Generally  such  (seeming  wise)  men 
in  all  deliberations,  find  ease  to  be  of  the  negative  side,  and  affect 
a  credit  to  object  and  foretell  difficulties." — Bacon. 

Henry  Charles  Keith  Petty-Fitzmaurice,  fifth 
Marquess  of  Lansdowne,  is  partly  French  in  blood, 
but  inclines  intellectually  to  the  Spaniard  as  Bacon 
describes  him.  Of  "  seeming  wise  "  men  he  is  per- 
haps the  best  example  extant.  He  has  done  nothing 
or  little,  but  in  such  solemn  sort  that  even  those  who 
least  regard  him  deem  it  decent  to  pay  a  tribute 
to  his  ripe  experience,  his  distinguished  talents,  his 
mellow  judgment,  and  the  rest  of  it. 

It  is  only  when  one  looks  at  all  this  pomp  and 
prestige  with  half-shut  eyes,  resolute  not  to  be  blinded 
by  any  "  property  "  sun,  that  one  finds  how  negative 
the  real  man  is.  At  "  objecting  and  foretelling  diffi- 
culties "  he  has  no  fellow;  but  one  looks  in  vain  for 
guidance  of  the  positive  sort.  Lord  Lansdowne  in 
that  regard  is  only  a  polished  version  of  Tony 
Lumpkin.  You  want  to  go  to  Mr.  Hardcastle's. 
He  tells  you  you  can  never  get  there;  he  describes 
it  as  a  "  long,  dark,  boggy,  dirty,  dangerous  way  "; 
dilates  on  the  terrors  of  Quagmire  Marsh,  Squash 
Lane,  and  Crackokull  Common;  and  indicates  four 
roads — you  must  "  be  sure  to  take  only  one  of  them  " 

152 


THE  MARQUESS  OF  LANSDOWNE       158 

— which  he  knows  perfectly  well  lead  nowhere.  In 
manner  and  motive  only  he  differs  from  Mr.  Lumpkin. 
He  does  not  want  you  to  get  the  heiress,  and  it  is 
with  perfect  breeding  that  he  takes  care  that  you 
shan't. 

Examine  the  whole  of  the  noble  Marquess's  life 
history;  trace  him  from  the  Under-Secretary  larva 
of  forty-six  years  ago  to  the  Elder  Statesman  imago 
of  to-da3r;  follow  him  through  every  step  of  his 
career — Simla,  Ottawa,  War  Office,  Foreign  Office, 
leadership  of  the  House  of  Lords — and  the  main 
impression  given  is  that  of  superficies  claiming  the 
dimensions  of  a  solid.  Neither  depth  nor  bulk  is 
there.  He  has  every  quality  appertaining  to  the 
wise  man  except  wisdom  itself.  His  moderation  is 
notable  where  courage  is  the  only  currency;  he  is 
bold  where  Danton  would  step  with  fear  and  trem- 
bling ;  outspoken  where  secrecy  is  imperative ;  secretive 
where  a  frank  word  might  work  wonders.  He  does 
everything  the  wise  statesman  might,  except  at  the 
right  time  and  in  the  right  place. 

Generally  the  charge  of  inconsistency  against  a 
public  man  is  the  dullest  of  cheap  sneers.  The  deadly 
fact  concerning  Lord  Lansdowne's  changes  is  that 
they  are  really  consistent ;  he  has  an  infallible  instinct, 
not  for  the  lost  cause,  but  for  the  cause  that  ought 
to  be  lost. 

He  was  a  Whig  when  Whiggism  was  the  least 
liberal  of  political  faiths;  he  became  a  Conservative 
in  its  late  bad  manner;  he  pursued  an  adventurous 
foreign  policy  as  Foreign  Minister,  and  now  argues 
in  retirement  for  a  stultifying  peace;  he  claimed  for 
the  House  of  Lords  powers  that  upset  the  balance  of 
the  Constitution,  and  then  admitted  by  his  reform 
proposals  that  peers  were  wholly  unfit  to  exercise 
even  their  admitted  functions ;  in  the  present  war  his 


154  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

influence,  above  that  of  any  subject  born  this  side 
of  St.  George's  Channel,  has  made  Ireland  a  material 
and  moral  liability  to  the  Alliance.  As  a  Parlia- 
mentary strategist  he  resembles  that  Duke  of  York 
who  marched  his  men  up  a  very  high  hill  and  marched 
them  down  again.  For  both  operations  no  doubt 
textbook  authority  may  be  found.  But  generalship 
does  not  consist  alone  in  doing  right  things.  They 
must  be  done  at  the  right  time.  Lord  Lansdowne  is 
the  kind  of  man  who  would  treat  as  dangerous  a. 
cow  that  is  only  aching  to  be  milked,  and,  having 
vexed  it  to  madness,  would  seek  to  placate  it  by  the 
offer  of  a  nice  crimson  overcoat.  He  is  gruff  to  the 
lamb  and  the  coney;  he  is  mild  courtesy  to  the  tiger. 

Since  the  famous  letter  of  last  autumn  a  singular 
company  has  gathered  round  the  ambiguous  standard 
of  the  Marquess.     These  men  may  quite  misunder- 
stand   his    purpose,    but    they    are    themselves    well 
understood,  and,  since  the  Marquess  has  never  dis- 
owned them,  it  is  not  unfair  to  suppose  him  willing 
to   use  them.     Socialists,  S}mdicalists,   Quakers,  re- 
presentatives   of   cosmopolitan    finance,    aristocratic 
Liberal  intellectuals — a  more  ill-assorted  group  was 
never  brought  together  by  flood  or  prairie  fire.     To 
most  of  them  Lord  Lansdowne  two  years  ago  was  an 
English  Junker;  now  one  reads  of  such  a  marvel  as  a 
"Lansdowne  Labour  Committee."     Yet  Lord  Lans- 
downe was  probably  never  farther  than  he  is  to-day 
from    the    moral    position  of    the  Outhwaites,  Lees 
Smiths,  Ramsa}r  MacDonalds,  and  Noel  Buxtons.   The 
worst  that  can    be   said  of  these  is  that  they  fight 
in    unprincipled   fashion  for  a  principle.     For  what 
principles  does  the  Marquess  of  Lansdowne  stand  ? 

He  has  no  Quakerish  scruples  against  war,  or  he 
would  not  have  supported  Mr.  Chamberlain  in  his 
belief  that  the  conquest  of  the  Boer  Republics  would 


TEE  MARQUESS  OF  LANSDOWNE       155 


be  cheap,  short,  and  profitable.  He  has  no  passion 
against  secret  diplomacy;  he  hurried  the  Anglo- 
Japanese  treaty  through  hugger-mugger,  without 
reflection  as  to  its  ultimate  consequences,  because 
the  need  of  the  moment  appeared  to  be  the  check- 
mating of  Russia.  He  made  tentative  advances 
towards  a  German  alliance  before  he  set  about  lay- 
ing the  foundations  of  the  Entente  Cordiale,  and  in 
both  cases  hour-to-hour  expediency  was  the  only 
motive.  He  coolly  tore  open  the  sores  of  Ireland 
merely  to  complicate  the  issue  his  timorous  violence 
had  raised  in  English  politics.  Then  he  tried  to  throw 
into  the  quarrel  the  Colonies,  and  finally  the  Army. 
Truly  there  is  little  in  this  record  to  suggest  that  at 
seventy-three  his  heart  beats  in  tumultuous  sympathy 
with  Mr.  Snowden,  or  that  his  tired  eyes  have  glorious 
visions  of  universal  brotherhood. 

A  more  congruous  explanation  may  be  suggested 
of  the  attitude  which  has  brought  Lord  Lansdowne 
all  this  strange  homage.  Lord  Lansdowne  is  an  aris- 
tocrat of  a  quite  peculiar  class.  I  believe  he  has  in 
him  a  few  drops  of  the  blood  of  Talleyrand,  and  some- 
thing of  that  great  sceptic's  temperament  has  also 
come  down  to  him.  When  all  Paris  was  repeating 
that  in  a  fortnight  the  Emperor  would  have  crossed 
the  Niemen,  Talleyrand's  only  comment  was  "  Mais 
a  quoi  bon  passer  le  Niemen  ?"  Talleyrand  happened 
to  be  right  in  this  instance.  But  "  A  quoi  bon  ?"  is 
the  natural  comment  of  the  unmilitary  aristocrat, 
who  has  little  emotion  and  much  interest,  who  is  too 
big  to  take  the  vulgar  view  of  martial  glories,  and 
possibly  too  little  for  the  only  passions  that  make 
war  respectable.  War,  yes,  for  things  that  seem 
worth  the  price.  Have  there  not  always  been  wars 
of  that  common-sense  kind  ?  But  war  that  is  piling 
up  debt  at  the  rate  of  seven  millions  a  day,  that 


156  UN  CENSORED  CELEBRITIES 


means  working-class  unrest,  super-taxes,  land  taxes, 
taxes  of  all  kinds  to  be  paid,  not  merely  by  the 
creatures  who  die  to-morrow,  but  by  the  families  that 
decay  for  ever — a  quoi  bon  ? 

After  all,  the  whole  thing  may  well  seem  a  sordid 
stupidity  to  this  cool  grandee.  He  belongs  to  the 
Victorian  time,  when  our  sleeping  partnership  with 
Prussia  enabled  us  to  go  lightly  armed  and  lightly 
taxed.  It  was  an  ideal  arrangement — our  Navy- 
keeping  the  seas,  the  German  Empire  keeping  the 
Continent,  each  agreeing  that  there  could  be  no  real 
quarrel  between  the  whale  and  the  elephant.  Pan- 
German  stupidity,  which  must  have  all,  upset  this 
admirable  theory.  Even  our  Eldest  Statesmen  had 
to  take  warning  by  the  portents  of  the  last  fifteen 
years.  But  that  is  not  to  say  that  they  have  ceased 
to  regret  the  old  days,  or  that  they  would  not  welcome 
them  back  if  it  were  feasible.  And  what  if  we  have 
really  backed  the  wrong  horse  ? 

In  this  mood  it  is  natural  to  take  stock  of  the 
situation.  Alsace-Lorraine?  TheTrentino?  Poland? 
"  Self-determination  "  for  the  serfs  of  the  House  of 
Habsburg  ?  We  can  imagine  the  courtly  shrug  of 
the  shoulder  Lord  Lansdowne  must  give  when  he 
revises  these  idealist  war  aims.  Why  should  he  pant 
for  the  resurrection  of  Poland  when  he  has  so  long 
politely  denied  any  imperfections  in  the  government 
of  Ireland  ? 

The  League  of  Nations  ?  Yes.  But  is  it  the 
League  of  Nations  according  to  President  Wilson  that 
he  favours  ?  Is  it  not  rather  a  League  of  Nations 
such  as  Count  Hertling  had  in  mind  ?  Mr.  Wilson 
sees  in  his  policy  the  only  means  by  which  the  com- 
mon sense  and  instinctive  morality  of  the  common 
man  shall  triumph  over  the  follies  of  the  wise  and 
the  sordid  ambitions  of  the  great.     Lord  Lansdowne 


THE  MARQUESS  OF  LANSDOWNE       157 

appears  to  contemplate  some  new  Holy  Alliance  that 
will  guarantee  permanence  to  another  artificial  re- 
casting of  the  map  of  Europe.  It  is  not  surprising 
that  long  ago  he  discerned  in  German  statesmanship 
a  returning  reasonableness  not  generally  apparent. 
Perhaps  he  and  Count  Hertling  were  not  so  far  apart. 
The  Englishman  has  better  manners  and  better 
morals  than  the  Bavarian,  but  each  may  view  man- 
kind from  much  the  same  standpoint.  For  each  the 
thing  that  has  been  is  the  thing  that  must  be;  there 
can  be  nothing  new  under  the  sun.  Louvain  will  go 
the  way  of  Magdeburg;  the  Lusitania  will  be  for- 
gotten .  The  new  democratic  heaven  of  the  Washing- 
ton professor  shall  pass  away;  the  old  hell  of  aristo- 
cratic, plutocratic,  or  autocratic  Europe  shall  not 
pass  away.  Let  us  forget  the  things  of  time,  and 
occupy  ourselves  with  the  eternal.  The  fickle  mob 
will  forget,  and  we,  the  Olympian  gods,  will  have 
nothing  to  remember  except  such  taxation  as  we  can- 
not decently  pass  on.  Our  wives,  our  daughters,  have 
nothing  to  complain  of;  our  sons  may  have  fallen, 
but  our  houses  remain. 

So,  no  doubt,  argued  the  seeming  wise  Britons  who 
made  treaties  with  Hengist  and  Horsa;  so  argued  the 
seeming  wise  Saxons  who  agreed  to  pay  Danegelt; 
so  argued  the  seeming  wise  Roman  patricians  who 
bought  off  the  Vandals  and  Huns.  Their  letters  are 
not  preserved,  but  they  were  probably  filled  with 
acute  observations  on  the  essential  moderation  of  an 
enemy  still  burning  and  slaying  and  treaty-breaking. 
They  probably  abounded,  also,  in  suggestions  of 
domestic  trouble  if  counsels  of  reason  should  be  long 
disregarded,  and  of  the  ruin  of  civilization  if  peace 
should  be  long  delayed. 

The  seeming  wise  man  is  generally  short-sighted, 
and  Lord  Lansdowne  is  no  exception.     He  seems  at 


158  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

bottom  to  build  on  a  common  interest  between  the 
classes  in  this  country  and  the  classes  in  Prussia  to 
resist  any  movement  from  below.  He  forgets,  on  the 
one  hand,  that  Prussia  has  no  kind  of  loyalty,  and 
that  even  if  we  earned  the  wages  of  infamy  she 
would  not  pay  them;  we  cannot  get  back  to  the 
old  relations  by  mere  surrender  and  betrayal.  He 
forgets,  on  the  other  hand,  that  the  only  dangerous 
England  is  a  half-defeated  England.  If  the  cause 
triumphs,  our  oligarchs  may  survive;  at  worst  they 

will   be  not   unkindly  shelved.     If  not But    I 

make  no  pretence  to  second  sight. 


VISCOUNT  NORTHCLIFFE 

Four  }Tears  ago  Viscount  Northcliffe  was  merely  a 
newspaper  miracle.  Lately  many  people  have  specu- 
lated, not  unsympathetically,  whether  the  country 
would  accept  him  as  Prime  Minister,  with  the  powers 
of  a  dictator,  for  it  is  understood  that  he  would  take 
office  on  no  other  terms.  Many  others  regard  his 
present  indirect  power  as  one  of  the  chief  dangers  of 
the  State.  Outside  the  circle  of  his  business  activi- 
ties Lord  Northcliffe  used  to  be  regarded  as  a  kind  of 
joke.  Now  friends  and  foes — and  he  has  both  in 
plenty — agree  in  taking  him  most  seriously. 

It  was  said  of  Napoleon  III.  that  he  deceived  all 
Europe  twice:  first  when  he  pretended  to  be  a  fool, 
and  secondly  when  he  pretended  to  be  a  statesman. 
Possibly  there  has  been  a  somewhat  similar  misjudg- 
ment  regarding  Lord  Northcliffe.  He  was  certainly 
underrated  in  his  vigorous  youth ;  it  may  be  that  in 
middle  age  the  blaze  of  his  prestige  is  too  blinding 
for  a  reasonable  estimate  of  his  real  qualities.  Apart 
from  the  artist  sort,  he  is,  of  all  the  men  I  ever  met, 
he  who  best  satisfies  my  conception  of  genius.  I 
hasten  to  add  that  I  reject  altogether  the  definition 
of  genius  as  the  capacity  for  taking  infinite  pains, 
and  equally  Carlyle's  idea  of  it  as  a  general  power  of 
intelligence  capable  alike  of  writing  Shakespeare's 
sonnets  or  ruling  a  State.  Lord  Northcliffe 's  genius 
is  like  that  of  certain  men  for  games  of  skill :  it  can 
coexist  with  something  very  like  general  mediocrity. 
Lord  Northcliffe 's  genius  is  perhaps  as  narrow  as 
that  of  a  great  chess-player.     But  nobody  who  has 

i59 


160  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

had  the  privilege  of  observing  his  methods  as  a  news- 
paper man — he  is  very  much  more  than  a  newspaper 
proprietor — can  possibly  fail  to  acknowledge  a  power 
quite  different  in  kind  as  well  as  in  degree  from  mere 
business  or  professional  acumen. 

Lord  Northcliffe,  in  his  proper  business,  has  the 
gift  of  intuitive  perception  in  extraordinary  measure. 
He  possesses  a  supreme  instinct  for  the  right  thing 
in  the  sense  of  the  expedient  thing.  He  knows 
exactly  what  the  public  wants,  or  rather  what  the 
public  would  want  if  it  knew  how  to  make  its  wants 
known.  A  good  many  caterers  in  his  line  are  shrewd 
enough  judges  of  what  the  common  man  says  and 
feels  to-day.  It  is  Lord  Northcliffe 's  special  gift  that 
he  knows  what  the  common  man  will  be  saying  the 
day  after  to-morrow,  and  says  it  in  advance.  In 
great  things  and  small,  he  has  always  been  a  little 
ahead  of  his  rivals.  He  was  in  the  forefront  of  the 
cycle  boom,  both  as  a  writer  and  a  racer.  He  was 
the  first  to  vitalize  the  eld  scrap  journalism  of  the 
Tit-Bits  type,  to  infuse  into  its  Victorian  formlessness 
and  respectability  new  elements  appealing  less  to  the 
middle  class  than  to  the  first  flower  of  Board  School 
culture.  He  aimed  at  the  "  man  in  the  street,"  and 
hit  him  hard  in  every  issue  of  Answers,  with  its 
"  strong  sex  interest,"  its  "  Five  Pounds  a  Week  for 
Life  "  competitions,  its  attention  to  the  "  romance  " 
of  crime,  food,  and  money,  and  its  general  air  of 
knowingness. 

Answers  was  Alfred  Harms  worth's  campaign  of 
Italy.  As  its  conductor  he  reached  the  high-water 
mark  of  his  genius.  Great  men  in  the  making  are 
always  more  wonderful  than  great  men  made.  After 
the  1 8th  Brumaire  all  was  comparatively  simple  for 
Napoleon;  the  real  miracle  was  his  early  career. 
After  Answers  Alfred  Harmsworth  could  only  repeat 


VISCOUNT  NORTHCLIFFE  161 

himself  with  variations.  He  bought  the  moribund 
Evening  News,  "  Answerized  "  it,  and  made  it  pay. 
He  brought  out  the  Daily  Mail  as  a  morning  Answers, 
with  the  best  cable  service  money  could  buy.  He 
made  one  mistake  in  his  penny  Daily  Mirror  for 
moneyed  women;  the  moneyed  women  would  not 
pay  the  penny.  But  that  failure  he  almost  instan- 
taneously turned  into  a  gigantic  success  by  appealing 
to  millions  who  had  never  taken  a  newspaper  before. 
Within  a  week  of  the  change  from  good  fashion 
blocks  to  poor  pictures  every  office  boy  and  milliner's 
apprentice  was  buying  "  the  world's  only  halfpenny 
picture  paper."  Lord  Northcliffe,  with  an  eye  like 
Napoleon's  for  the  "  enemy  masses,"  had  suddenly 
guessed  that  brains  are  to  eyes  as  units  to  tens,  and 
that  the  mind  too  inert  to  read  even  a  serious  para- 
graph may  find  pleasure  in  a  news  picture  and 
information  in  its  "  caption." 

There  is  some  significance  in  Lord  Northcliffe 's 
choice  of  heroes — Dickens  in  letters,  Napoleon  in 
history.  Dickens  he  admires  for  the  sureness  with 
which  he  aimed  at  the  heart  of  the  masses,  Napoleon 
for  the  way  in  which  he  controlled  men  and  got  things 
done.  The  truth  is  that  he  is  himself  a  sort  of  com- 
posite parody  of  the  two  men.  His  message  to  the 
common  man  is  perhaps  not  worth  delivering,  but  he 
gets  it  delivered.  The  things  he  has  got  done  may 
not  have  been  worth  doing,  but  he  has  no  living  equal 
in  the  art  of  getting  those  things  done. 

And  he  has  also  the  Napoleonic  gift  of  enslaving 
the  intellects  of  other  men  without  recourse  to  vulgar 
tyranny.  The  Jesuit  had  to  be  like  a  corpse  in  the 
hands  of  his  superior.  In  the  Carmelite  order  of 
journalism  the  neophyte  must  yield  a  similar  obedi- 
ence. He  must  give,  not  only  his  work,  but  his  spirit. 
He  may  gain  little  or  much  by  the  bargain.     He  may 

ii 


162  UXCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

rise  to  twenty  thousand  a  year,  with  a  knighthood, 
many  motor-cars,  and  appurtenances  to  match.  Or 
he  may  remain  a  mere  cog  in  that  great  machine. 
But  on  every  fragment  of  human  metal  in  the  fabric, 
whether  common  cast-iron  or  finely  lacquered  brass, 
is  stamped  the  motto  and  device  of  the  master. 
Gurth  with  his  brass  collar  was  less  the  born  thrall 
of  Cedric  than  the  Carmelite  editor  of  Lord  North- 
cliffe. For  Gurth  could  at  least  think  his  own 
thoughts,  and  the  editor's  thoughts  are  prescribed 
for  him. 

It  has  been  said  of  Lord  Northclifife  that  he  was  the 
first  man  to  build  a  factory  in  Bohemia.  He  has  cer- 
tainly gone  far  towards  industrializing  journalism, 
and  in  doing  so  has  given  it  a  commercial  stability 
and  an  intellectual  flightiness  oddly  in  contrast.  The 
shares  of  his  concerns  have  more  than  the  stolidity  of 
Government  securities;  it  is  their  editorial  opinions 
that  fluctuate  madly.  This  levity  is  partially  due, 
no  doubt,  to  the  constitutional  jerkiness  of  Lord 
Northcliffe 's  intelligence.  He  thinks  in  headlines  and 
works  in  "  stunts."  He  has  been  steady  in  but  one 
thing,  the  consolidation  of  his  business ;  and  that 
business  has  been  largely  built  up  on  the  flexibility  of 
his  mind  on  public  questions.  But  there  is  possibly 
another  reason  for  the  eccentricity  of  his  course.  I 
said  that  he  greatly  admires  Napoleon  and  Dickens. 
Napoleon  shut  up  the  deputies;  Dickens  retained 
through  life  a  massive  contempt  for  the  House  of 
Commons.  From  his  earliest  days  Alfred  Harms- 
worth  seems  to  have  been  equally  attracted  and 
irritated  by  politics.  He  desired  the  double  pleasure 
of  despising  the  game  and  playing  a  part  in  it .  Though 
he  might  speak  of  the  House  of  Commons  as  an 
antiquated  vestry,  he  tried  to  enter  it  through  the 
borough    of   Portsmouth.     Portsmouth    would    have 


VISCOUNT  NORTHCLIFFE  163 

none  of  him,  and  from  the  day  of  that  defeat  he  has 
consistently  belittled  representative  institutions,  and 
assailed  politicians  of  all  parties  with  a  contempt 
sometimes  just,  but  seldom  entertained  on  just 
grounds.  His  only  consistency  has  been  the  con- 
sistency of  hatred  for  a  theatre  for  which  he  has  not 
the  industry,  or  perhaps  the  talent,  to  qualify. 

To  some  who  knew  him  best,  it  was  rather  surpris- 
ing that  he  should  have  accepted,  first,  a  baronetcy, 
and  then  a  peerage,  from  Mr.  Balfour.  In  the  first 
place  he  somewhat  diminished  the  independence 
which  he  had  by  this  time,  after  some  attempt  to  play 
the  party  game,  adopted  as  his  line;  in  the  second, 
he  parted  with  a  considerable  source  of  moral  strength. 
For  in  his  young  days  he  did  stand  for  a  kind  of 
democratic  reality.  He  has  never  had  much  eye  for  the 
greatest — it  is  remarkable,  for  example,  that  he  has 
never  brought  out  a  really  first-class  writer  in  any  line 
— but  at  one  period  no  man  had  a  surer  perception  of 
the  mere  fool,  however  gilded.  Holding  himself  aloof 
from  society,  refusing  to  be  entangled  in  any  set, 
busying  himself  solely  in  his  wealth  and  newspaper 
influence,  he  might  in  a  negative  way  have  been  of 
considerable  service  to  the  country  in  his  part  of 
independent  critic.  But  since  his  ennoblement  a 
certain  degeneration  has  been  noticeable.  His  cam- 
paigns have  tended  to  become  personal  vendettas. 
He  is  no  longer  outside  party;  his  judgments  and 
quarrels  are  party  judgments  and  quarrels,  though 
his  party  consists  only  of  one.  It  is  never  quite 
certain  whether  any  step  he  takes  is  dictated  by  prin- 
ciple; there  is  always  the  possibility  that  he  has 
made  a  new  friend  or  quarrelled  with  an  old  one. 

This  suspicion,  far  more  than  any  single  mistake 
or  failure  during  the  war,  is  responsible  for  the  wide- 
spread  resentment    of  his    Press   methods.     He    has 


164  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

generally  contrived  to  put  himself  wrongly  on  the 
right  side.  His  purely  official  work  is  said  to  have 
been  fairly  successful,  but  certainly  of  no  such  in- 
spired character  as  to  justify  the  arrogance  with 
which  he  declines  to  join  a  Government  without  ruling 
it.  On  that  question  of  his  being  accepted  as  a  sort 
of  dictator,  little  need  be  said.  The  cook  who  cannot 
produce  a  dinner  of  some  sort  without  complete  recon- 
struction of  the  kitchen  is  not  the  cook  one  would 
naturally  put  in  charge  of  a  kitchen  when  recon- 
structed. One  distrusts  entirely  the  "  strong  "  man 
who  can  only  work  in  conditions  he  himself  prescribes. 
We  have  to  take  the  world  and  the  British  Constitu- 
tion as  we  find  them;  both  are  profoundly  unsatis- 
factory, but  not  to  be  changed  in  a  hurry. 

Lord  Northcliffe  has  one  of  the  "  strong  "  man's 
weaknesses.  He  has  never  been  crossed,  has  never 
had  to  argue  a  case,  has  never  had  to  withstand  in 
his  own  person  a  personal  attack,  since  he  was  a  boy. 
He  has  pilloried  all  sorts  of  people;  he  has  never 
been  pilloried  except  by  rival  newspapers,  and  the 
public  quite  rightly  refuses  to  get  excited  over  Pott 
and  Slurk  heroics.  "  Newspaper  shrapnel,"  as  he 
calls  it,  he  can  ignore;  and  he  has  never  let  himself 
come  within  the  range  of  a  really  heavy  gun.  He 
will  not  meet  an  attack  in  the  Lords;  he  takes  part 
only  in  that  sort  of  public  gathering  where  the 
decencies  permit  of  no  plain  speaking.  In  his  office 
he  is  surrounded  by  stipendiary  cherubim  and  sera- 
phim, raising  an  eternal  chorus  of  "  Brainy,  brainy, 
brainy."  For  a  quarter  of  a  century  he  has  been  a 
Commander  of  the  Faithful,  with  cunning  mixers  of 
sherbet  and  deft  manipulators  of  the  bowstring 
around  him.  Hence  that  curiously  arrogant  shyness, 
that  eagerness  for  power  without  responsibility,  that 
passion  for  publicity  and  shrinking  from  its  conse- 


VISCOUNT  NORTHCLIFFE  165 

quences,  that  make  him  at  once  the  most  and  the 
least  known  man  in  English  public  life. 

Caught  }^oung,  before  the  mischievous  kittenish- 
ness  of  Answers  days  had  hardened  into  cat  hood,  he 
might  have  developed  into  a  considerable  statesman, 
though  it  may  be  questioned  whether  that  real  but 
narrow  genius  of  his,  so  suited  to  its  tiny  purpose, 
could  have  been  expanded  to  embrace  the  larger 
things  of  life.  Even  now  he  might,  under  due  con- 
trol, do  useful  work  in  some  department  in  which  he 
is  really  interested — matters  aerial,  for  example.  But 
Pegasus  will  not  work  in  harness,  and  it  wou  d  be 
madness  to  give  him  the  reins. 


MR.  AUSTEN  CHAMBERLAIN 

Mr.  Austen  Chamberlain's  return  to  office  was 
welcomed  mainly  on  the  ground  that  he  is  an  honest 
man,  and  condemned  mainly  on  the  ground  that  he 
is  a  politician. 

Regarding  the  first  point,  the  implication  is  suffi- 
ciently alarming.  Lord  Morley,  in  his  last  book,  tells 
how,  as  Irish  Secretary,  he  "  turned  down  "  a  nomin- 
ation to  the  County  Bench  because  the  person  in 
question  had  the  character  of  being  "  moderately 
honest."  His  lordship  took  the  old-fashioned  view 
that  moderate  honesty  is  as  unsatisfactory  as  reason- 
able chastity.  We  have  been  accustomed  to  look  on 
integrity  in  public  life  not  as  a  virtue  in  itself,  but 
as  the  indispensable  foundation  of  all  other  virtues. 
One  can  imagine  Gladstone's  feelings  had  he  been 
publicly  described  as  a  statesman  of  conspicuous 
honesty  and  some  capacity.  Have  we  really  arrived 
at  the  pass  when  we  must  be  told  that  if  the  country 
is  not  safe  in  a  statesman's  hands,  at  least  the  country's 
safe  is  safe  ? 

For  the  moment  we  will  assume,  however  rashly, 
that  every  public  man  is  honest,  and  pass  from  Mr. 
Chamberlain's  chiefly  advertised  virtue  to  his  chiefly 
advertised  crime.  It  is,  perhaps,  useless  to  try  to 
stem  the  cataract  of  nonsense  now  roaring  against 
"  professional  politicians."  But  it  may  be  said  at 
once  that  Mr.  Chamberlain's  solitary  claim  to  a  place 
in  the  Government  resides  in  this  very  fact  that  he 
is  first  and  foremost  a  politician — that  is,  that  he  has 
a  considerable  grip  of  Parliamentary  things  and  much 

166 


MR.  AUSTEN  CHAMBERLAIN  167 

knowledge  of  official  ways.  True,  he  is  not  the  sort 
of  man  one  would  naturally  choose  to  ride  the  whirl- 
wind and  direct  the  storm.  "  Pitt  is  to  Addington 
as  London  is  to  Paddington,"  wrote  Canning  to 
another  amiable  mediocrity.  Mr.  Chamberlain  is 
decidedly  Paddingtonian.  His  abilities,  though  sedu- 
lously cultivated,  are  at  best  second-rate;  he  lacks, 
above  all,  power;  he  rather  reminds  one  of  those 
pallid  city  youths  who,  with  a  bedroom  exerciser, 
attain  a  certain  muscular  development,  but  never 
achieve  "  punch  "  or  natural  vigour. 

In  the  case  of  such  a  person  it  is  merely  foolish  to 
blame  Mr.  Muldow's  system  for  his  rather  unsatis- 
factory condition;  the  question  is  rather  what  he 
would  have  been  without  Mr.  Muldow.  When  one 
hears  an  Oxford  graduate  talking  great  nonsense 
(which  happens  occasionally)  the  first  tendency  may 
be  to  condemn  the  University;  second  and  sounder 
thoughts  prompt  the  inquiry  what  sort  of  nonsense 
the  same  man  would  have  talked  had  he  stopped  short 
at  a  primary  school.  Certainly  it  is  an  unprofitable 
business  sending  poor  grist  to  a  first-class  mill,  and 
the  care  lavished  on  Mr.  Chamberlain's  political  edu- 
cation doubtless  might  have  been  better  expended  on 
another  subject.  But  to  suggest  that  Government, 
of  all  trades,  is  one  in  which  talents  are  not  improved 
by  training  is  merely  silly,  and  to  complain  that  Mr. 
Chamberlain  knows  at  least  part  of  his  trade  is  surely 
irrational. 

One  part  of  his  trade  he  knows  very  well  indeed. 
He  is  an  excellent  House  of  Commons  man.  He 
would  probably  make  a  very  fair  Leader  of  the  House, 
and  it  would  not  be  surprising  to  learn  that  the  astute 
Prime  Minister,  with  an  eye  to  possibilities,  had  ear- 
marked him  for  that  position  should  it  fall  vacant. 
Second-rate  men  often  make  first-rate  leaders,  just 


168  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

as  some  extremely  brilliant  statesmen  have  failed 
calamitously  in  that  capacity.  The  House  of  Com- 
mons is  like  a  certain  type  of  horse,  which  will  allow 
a  favourite  child  to  manage  it,  and  will  respond  to  a 
master  whip,  but  shows  every  vice  in  the  hands  of  a 
semi-competent.  Some  men  dominate  the  House  by 
sheer  force  of  character;  others  conquer  by  tact;  still 
others  get  their  wa}^  because  the  House  likes  them, 
and  knows  they  like  the  House.  The  latter  was  the 
secret  of  the  conspicuous  success  of  very  ordinary 
people  like  W.  H.  Smith  and  "  C.-B.,"  and  Mr. 
Chamberlain  might  well  develop  in  the  same  direc- 
tion. He  has,  it  is  true,  some  handicaps  from  which 
they  were  free.  In  humour  he  is  slenderly  endowed, 
and  he  has  not  that  cheerful  sense  of  his  own  limita- 
tions which  is  often  the  greatest  asset  of  the  second- 
rate  statesman,  enabling  him,  without  raising 
jealousies,  to  guide  men  with  whom  he  could  not 
seriously  compete. 

"  C.-B.,"  by  shrewd  judgment  and  good-humour, 
succeeded  in  managing  a  team  of  which  seven  indi- 
viduals out  of  ten  were  his  intellectual  superiors. 
Mr.  Chamberlain  has  not  quite  learned  that  savoir 
faire  which  is  based  ultimately  on  perfect  self- 
knowledge.  There  are  times  when  he  still  gives  the 
impression  of  believing  himself  to  be  a  statesman  in 
the  grand  manner.  But  the  amiable  illusion  has 
shown  signs  of  weakening  since  the  Tariff  Reform 
days;  it  suffered  one  great  shock  when  Mr.  Bonar 
Law  was  chosen  Unionist  leader,  and  another  when 
the  Mesopotamia  report  was  issued.  In  regard  to 
that  melancholy  business  Mr.  Chamberlain's  prompt 
recognition  of  his  responsibility  was  to  his  credit,  but 
common  sense  rebels  at  fellow-politicians'  description 
of  his  resignation  as  a  mere  quixotry  on  the  part  of 
a  man  only  nominally  to  blame.     Mr.  Chamberlain's 


MR.  AUSTEN  CHAMBERLAIN  169 

fault  was  negative  but  real.  It  was  not  so  much  that 
he  was  wrong  as  that  he  was  not  vigorously  enough 
in  the  right. 

But  vigour  is  just  the   quality  Mr.  Chamberlain 
lacks,  though  he  tries  hard  to  imitate  the  masterful- 
ness of  his  father.     I  once  had  the  singular  experience 
of  visiting  the  house  of  a  rich  man  with  a  gruesome 
hobby.     He  had  spent  his  life  going  round  che  great 
picture  galleries  of  the  world  and  employing  copyists 
to  reproduce  their  chief  treasures.     These  he  put  in 
gorgeous   imitations   of  old    Florentine  frames,   and, 
at  a  cost  adequate  to  papering  his  walls  with  minor 
masterpieces,  was  able  to  flatter  himself  that  he  was 
surrounded  by  the  highest  in  art.     I  am  reminded  of 
that  disconsolate  collection  of  sham  Titians,   Rem- 
brandts,  and  Raphaels,  stiff  and  smooth  as  anything 
at  Madame  Tussaud's,  whenever  I  happen  to  be  at 
the   House   of  Commons   when   Mr.   Chamberlain  is 
"up."     He  is  so  like,  yet  so  unlike,  his  father.     The 
outlines  are  there,  as  in  Signor  Spaghetti's  copies, 
but  there  is  no  vigour  of  colour,  no  force  of  expression, 
no  power  in  modelling.    All  is  flat  and  tame.     Joseph 
Chamberlain's  words  cut  like  a  whip;  his  anger  had 
sometimes  almost  the  effect    of  physical   shock;  his 
monocle  could  be  as  terrifying  as  the  eye  of  Poly- 
phemus.    Mr.  Austen's  is  no  more  formidable  than 
Mr.  Weedon  Grossmith's.     The  elder  man  penetrated 
his  utterances  with  real  passion.     The  younger  tries 
to  do  the  same,  but  his  artificial  indignation  rather 
recalls  the  dog  that  went  mad  "  to  serve  some  private 
ends."     Men  easily  recover  from  that  sort  of  bite. 

In  middle  age,  Mr.  Austen  Chamberlain  has  to  some 
extent  dropped  conscious  imitation,  and  he  is  getting 
to  be  as  much  himself  as  he  will  ever  be.  Tempera- 
mentally he  differs  from  his  father,  and  is  really  what 
his  father  never  was — a  Conservative.     But  he  has 


170  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

not  shaken  off  what  his  father  also  never  lost — that 
kind  of  provincialism  which  one  may  call  suburbanity. 
With  all  his  great  qualities,  Joseph  Chamberlain 
retained  to  the  end  some  trace  of  Camberwell.  He 
had  Mr.  Lloyd  George's  bad  habit — the  two  men  have 
many  points  of  resemblance — of  discussing  great 
affairs  in  a  dialect  neither  stately  nor  statesmanlike. 
He  was  the  man  of  a  world  rather  than  a  man  of  the 
world.  He  chid  foreign  Ministers  as  if  they  were 
Irish  Members.  He  told  the  French  to  "  mend  their 
manners  "  with  the  same  readiness  that  he  called 
Mr.  Dillon  a  "  good  judge  of  traitors."  In  his 
dealings  with  rural  questions  he  was  as  Cockney  as 
Mr.  Pickwick  at  Dingle}'  Dell.  With  less  excuse, 
Mr.  Austen  Chamberlain  is  even  more  limited.  He 
has  industriously  "  got  up  "  the  Empire  with  the 
help  of  the  Blue-Books,  but  shows  no  real  under- 
standing of  it,  and  no  man  in  affairs  knows  less  about 
Europe.  His  abilities,  such  as  they  are,  are  simply 
suited  to  the  things  of  the  caucus  and  the  House  of 
Commons.  There  he  makes  a  quite  respectable  dis- 
pla}'.  He  always  speaks  neatly,  and  sometimes,  as 
when  moved  over  the  Press  attacks  on  Sir  William 
Robertson,  with  force  and  point.  Add  that  he  is  a 
fair  administrator,  and  you  have  said  all  that  can 
be  said. 

That,  with  so  slender  an  equipment,  Mr.  Chamber- 
lain can  hardly  be  called  a  failure  is  surely  sufficient 
rebuttal  to  the  unintelligent  outcry  against  the 
"  professional  politician."  That  poverty  of  political 
talent  which  has  occasioned  the  demand  for  "  business 
men  "is,  in  fact,  chiefly  due  to  the  increasing  domina- 
tion of  the  House  of  Commons  by  elderly  tradesmen. 
A  seat  in  Parliament  is  no  longer  the  object  of  young 
(and  poor)  ambition;  the  House  of  Commons  is 
rather  a  Tom  Tiddler's  ground  where  the  "  arrived  " 


MR.  AUSTEN  CHAMBERLAIN  171 

grub  for  ribands  and  titles.  If  any  moral  is  to  be 
drawn  from  Mr.  Chamberlain's  position  it  is  the 
need  of  something  to  replace  the  old  patronage 
system  which  secured  a  steady  supply  of  brilliant 
youngsters  for  the  public  service. 

Our  "  democratic  "  system  has  done  away  with  the 
one  valuable  feature  of  the  borough-mongering  days 
— the  search  for  talent  irrespective  of  wealth  and 
social  position.  But  it  has  greatly  intensified  the 
reverence  paid  to  the  hereditary  principle.  The 
owner  of  a  dozen  rotten  boroughs  might  allot  six  to 
his  friends  and  relations,  but  he  wanted  to  get  political 
value  out  of  the  rest;  hence  the  hungry  quest  for 
brains  and  the  rise  of  Pitt,  Canning,  Gladstone,  and 
so  many  others.  If  Mr.  Chamberlain  is  found  "  in- 
dispensable "  because  he  has  learned  the  tricks  of 
the  trade,  and  is  still  not  quite  a  first-rate  man,  the 
inference  would  seem  plain.  Instead  of  declaring 
that  there  are  no  tricks  to  be  learned,  and  laying  down 
the  principle  that  in  politics  there  shall  be  only 
amateur  players,  it  would  be  more  intelligent  to  teach 
those  tricks  to  young  men  of  real  talent.  But  that 
would  mean  in  many  cases  a  preference  for  plain 
Smith  and  Brown  over  Vavassour-Smith  and  Pon- 
sonby-Brown,  and  it  may  be  doubted  whether  British 
snobbery,  more  rampant  than  ever  in  the  decline  of 
English  aristocracy,  would  assent  to  so  levelling  a 
doctrine. 


THE  "  MORNING  POST  "  AND 
MR.  H.  A.  GWYNNE 

There  are  one  or  two  instances  of  men  who  began 
life  as  footmen  shaking  off  all  trace  of  servile  origin. 
Craggs,  the  peculating  Secretary  of  State  of  South 
Sea  Bubble  times,  was,  however  immoral,  no  laugh- 
ing-stock socially  or  mentally;  and  there  has  been 
an  example  in  our  own  time  of  an  ex-servant  whom 
it  requires  a  strong  effort  to  remember  in  connection 
with  plush  and  powder. 

But  in  general  there  hangs  round  the  "  gentleman's 
gentleman  "  a  flavour  of  ridicule  that  follows  him 
through  life,  and  the  manners  and  mannerisms  of  the 
servants'  hall  are  apt  to  cling  to  the  most  successful 
of  the  class.  Thus  the  Morning  Post  has  never  quite 
outlived  the  reputation,  or  indeed  the  habits,  of  its 
early  days.  True,  it  is  no  longer,  as  it  used  to  be, 
the  laughter  of  the  wits.  In  early  Victorian  days 
the  extraordinary  English  of  its  leading  articles  was 
as  much  a  joke  as  its  reverential  attention  to  the 
doings  of  the  great.  Thackeray  is  never  tired  of 
jeering  at  it,  though  one  feels  uneasily  that  he  always 
looked  the  paper  through  to  see  whether  his  own  name 
was  given  as  attending  a  "  rout  "  or  a  dinner  party. 
The  Tories,  whom  it  served  with  valet-like  respect, 
treated  it — like  a  valet.  Macaulay  in  1831  put  on 
record  his  view  of  its  importance  as  a  political  force. 
Speaking  of  a  duel  that  was  fought  by  its  editor  in 
1777,  he  says :  "  It  certainly  seems  almost  incredible 
to  a  person  living  in  our  time  that  any  human  being 

172 


"  MORNING  POST  "  AND  MR.  GWYNNE    173 

should  ever  have  stooped  to  fight  with  a  writer  on  the 
Morning  Post." 

To-day  most  of  that  is  changed.  The  Morning 
Post  is  the  most  individual  of  all  the  London  morning 
papers.  It  is  also  the  best  written.  Its  chief  con- 
tributors really  are  scholars,  though,  like  ladies,  when 
young  and  fair,  they  have  the  gift  to  know  it,  and 
occasionally  annoy  by  a  display  of  elementary  classical 
lore.  It  still  makes  a  feature  of  those  fascinating 
paragraphs  regarding  increases  in  aristocratic  families, 
engagements  and  marriages  of  "  gentlemen  of  fashion" 
and  "  ladies  of  quality,"  and  the  dignified  obsequies 
of  all,  from  a  Duke  downwards,  who  can  afford  its 
rather  high  charges  for  "  personal  announcements." 
But,  editorially  at  least,  this  department  no  longer 
dominates.  It  was  otherwise  only  a  few  years  ago 
A  distinguished  literary  man  was  once  invited  by 
the  late  Lord  Glenesk  to  take  the  editorial  chair 
He  waited  patiently  for  his  lordship  to  outline  the 
attitude  of  the  paper  to  certain  questions  at  that 
moment  assuming  a  new  importance.  Instead  of 
attending  to  such  minor  matters  his  recently  created 
lordship  dwelt  on  the  extreme  importance  of  having 
names  wholly  accurate  and  in  their  right  order.  The 
point  was  elaborated  until  the  candidate,  who  joined 
to  a  high  regard  for  the  nobility  and  gentry  of  these 
islands  some  sense  of  humour  and  proportion,  re- 
marked that  what  seemed  to  be  really  wanted  was 
a  proof-reader,  and  took  his  leave. 

Such  an  incident,  when  taken  alone,  might  give 
a  poor  impression  of  the  mental  standing  of  Algernon 
Bwithwi^k.  Yet  it  was  he,  the  highly  educated  son 
of  Peter  Borthwick — a  shrewd  self-made  Scotsman, 
who  had  acquired  the  paper  during  one  of  its  recurring 
crises — who  laid  the  foundations  of  the  Morning  Post 
as  we  now  know  it.     Algernon   Borthwick,  clever, 


174      UN  CENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

pleasant,  a  great  respecter  of  persons,  cautiously 
enterprising,  extraordinarily  limited,  but  the  more 
efficient  for  his  purposes  through  those  limitations, 
might  have  proceeded  direct  from  the  imagination 
of  Samuel  Warren,  the  author  of  that  perfect  snob- 
novel,  Ten  Thousand  a  Year.  Much  of  his  ability, 
something  of  his  thrifty  disposition,  and  not  a  little 
of  the  asperity  which  tempered  his  veneration  for  the 
upper  classes,  have  descended  to  his  daughter,  who 
married  in  1893  the  seventh  Earl  Bathurst. 

Under  her  control  the  Morning  Post  has  gradually 
abandoned  the  deferential  "  as-your-lordship-pleases  " 
manner  of  its  earlier  days.  While  the  old  Times 
adopted  of  set  policy  the  pose  of  independence,  with 
an  acknowledged  bias  in  favour  of  the  Government 
of  the  day,  while  the  Standard  of  Mudford  days  spoke 
plain  English  about  its  own  leaders,  the  Morning 
Post  was  content  to  "  say  ditto  to  Mr.  Burke."  It 
would  probably  be  saying  "  ditto  "  still  but  for  the 
fact  that  changes  in  Fleet  Street  ended  by  leaving  it 
the  only  true-blue  Tory  morning  paper  in  London. 
The  Standard  declined  and  died ;  the  Times  changed 
hands  and  methods;  the  Telegraph  did  not  change, 
but  remained  what  it  has  always  been,  mainly  intent 
on  its  advertising  columns.  Conscious  of  its  new 
position,  the  Morning  Post  began  to  indulge  an 
autocratic  temper  of  which  it  had  not  hitherto  been 
suspected. 

Readers  of  Thackeray  will  remember  that  masterly 
scene  in  which  Mr.  Morgan,  who  had  submissively 
combed  Major  Pendennis's  wigs  and  prepared  his 
footbath  for  years,  suddenly  called  on  that  old  war- 
rior to  stand  and  deliver.  "  Shall  I  wring  your  old 
head  off  and  drownd  yer  in  that  pail  of  water  ?  Do 
you  think  I'm  a-going  to  bear  your  confounded  old 
harrogance,  you  old  Wigsby  ?"     And  so  forth  and 


"  MORNING  POST  "  AND  MR.  GWYNNE   175 

so  on.  Far  be  it  from  me  to  compare  this  hypo- 
critical old  blackmailer,  grown  shamefully  rich  on 
menial  service,  to  the  most  "  high-class  "  of  English 
newspapers,  which  was  content  to  claim  not  the 
largest,  but  the  "  best  "  circulation.  But  there  is 
really  some  suggestion  in  Mr.  Morgan's  insurgence 
of  the  change  that  came  over  the  Morning  Post 
when  it  was  left  the  solitary  oracle  of  old-fashioned 
Toryism.  In  its  old  days  it  had  been  the  well-trained 
footman ;  in  its  new  style  it  rather  suggests  a  flustered 
and  revolting  butler. 

The  change  has  not  quite  s3mchronized  with  the 
reign  of  its  present  editor,  Mr.  Howell  A.  Gwynne. 
The  revolt  against  Mr.  Balfour,  the  alliance  with 
Confederates,  Die-Hards,  "  antique  bantams  of  the 
fighting  breed  "  (as  the  Morning  Post  once  lyrically 
described  the  venerable  Lord  Halsbury),  et  hoc  genus 
omne,  dated  rather  earlier,  and  may  perhaps  be  ex- 
plained, not  only  by  disagreements  on  policy,  but  by 
some  obscure  prejudice  against  the  Cecil  family.  But 
certainly  the  peculiar  wildness  of  the  Morning  Post 
has  attained  its  zenith  under  the  editorial  direction  of 
this  talented  Welshman. 

Mr.  Gwynne  is  a  fighting  rather  than  a  thinking- 
editor.  He  knows  everybody  in  politics,  but  strangely 
little  of  political  questions.  Though  he  gives  little 
evidence  of  any  grave  study  of  economic  problems, 
he  is  a  Tariff  Reformer,  as  Falstaff  was  a  respecter  of 
royalty,  "  on  instinct."  He  is  a  strong  Imperialist, 
on  instinct  again,  plus  the  inspiration  of  Lord  Milner, 
his  ideal  in  statesmanship,  and  Joseph  Chamberlain, 
to  whose  spell  he  succumbed  when  he  accompanied 
that  great  man  to  South  Africa  in  his  Reuter  cor- 
respondent days.  In  literature  he  has  one  idol,  Mr. 
Kipling,  and  several  betes  noires,  of  whom  Mr.  H.  G. 
Wells  may  be  taken  as  the  type.     He  hates  aliens, 


176  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

Nonconformists,  Radicals,  Welshmen,  Irish  Catholics, 
Humanitarians,  Free  Traders,  and  Anti-vivisectionists 
about  equally,  and  probably  thinks  they  are  all  very 
much  the  same  thing.  His  experience  as  a  war 
correspondent  gave  him  a  real  love  of  arms  and 
armies,  and  no  great  abhorrence  of  war  itself.  This 
war  he  can  hardty  like;  the  wars  for  his  money  are 
snug,  profitable,  picturesque  wars,  ending  in  more  of 
the  map  painted  red. 

Force  is  his  remedy  for  everything.  He  was  for 
force  in  South  Africa.  He  is  for  force  in  Ireland. 
He  has  seriously  recommended,  during  times  of 
industrial  trouble,  systematic  siege  operations  in  the 
affected  areas.  He  laughs  to  scorn  the  notion  that 
this  war  is  being  waged,  or  should  be  waged,  for  any 
other  than  the  narrowest  national  objects.  He 
refuses  altogether  to  believe  that  the  common  man, 
whose  blood  is  being  spilt,  can  have  any  ideal  but 
his  own  terribly  simple  one  of  a  foreigner-tight,  all- 
red,  self-supporting,  self-sufficing,  imperialistic,  ag- 
gressive, and  thoroughly  vulgar  "  Empire."  He  will 
laugh  at  German  "  Kultur  "  notions.  But  he  is  all 
for  a  British  "  Kultur  "  as  illiberal,  less  brutal  indeed, 
but  perhaps  even  more  sordid,  because  it  would  imply 
a  frank  contempt  for  intellect  which,  to  do  the 
German  justice,  is  not  his  characteristic  fault. 

These  are  Mr.  Gwynne's  quite  honest  ideals.  They 
would  seem  to  distinguish  him  in  no  way  from  some 
of  the  dullest  of  living  Englishmen.  But  this  intel- 
lectual simplicity  is  combined  with  a  capacity  for 
manoeuvre  that  will  secure  his  name  some  prominence 
when  the  secret  history  of  the  last  fifteen  years  is 
laid  open.  He  has  a  talent  for  influencing  men  much 
more  able  than  himself.  He  was  a  very  considerable 
force  in  the  Budget  fight.  He  did  much  to  precipitate 
the  Parliament  Act  crisis.     He  had  a  great  deal  to 


"  MORNING  POST  "  AND  MR.  GWYNNE    177 

do  with  the  deposition  of  Mr.  Balfour  and  the  sealing 
of  the  fatal  Unionist-Carsonite  alliance.  He  worked 
as  hard  to  get  Mr.  Lloyd  George  into  power  as  he  has 
latterly  worked  to  get  him  out .  With  prejudices  firmly 
fixed,  and  all  else  in  a  state  of  flux,  it  is  not  surprising 
that  there  is  a  sort  of  stormy  unity  in  his  journalistic 
career ;  few  men  have  been  more  violently  and  variously 
wrong. 

With  more  balance,  and  equal  distinction  in 
writing,  the  Morning  Post  might  under  him  be  a 
tremendous  power  for  evil;  without  the  piquant 
charm  of  his  chief  leader-writer's  style,  it  would  be 
merely  contemptible.  Things  being  as  they  are,  it 
is  a  sort  of  Puck-Mephistopheles,  chiefly  effective  in 
its  more  freakish  side.  Its  graver  plots  have  a  habit 
of  miscarrying.  But  it  can  always  snatch  three- 
legged  stools  from  beneath  the  unsuspecting,  and 
create  a  general  atmosphere  of  commotion. 

The  Morning  Post  once  boldly  likened  itself  to  a 
toad.  That  is  the  last  comparison  on  which  the 
polite  critic  would  venture.  But  since  it  has  been 
made,  it  may  be  adopted  in  order  to  conclude  on  a 
note  of  just  compliment.  "  The  toad,  ugly  and 
venomous,  wears  yet  a  precious  jewel  in  its  head." 
The  venom  of  the  Morning  Post  is  all  too  apparent. 
Its  valuable  qualities  are  less  obviously  displayed. 
They  include  an  absence  of  vulgarity  on  all  non- 
political  topics,  an  abhorrence  of  sensational  methods, 
a  generally  enlightened  literary  judgment,  honesty 
and  balance  in  the  presentment  of  news,  a  consistent 
hostility  to  the  more  sordid  forms  of  "  influence  " 
and  political  intrigue,  and  a  "  City  page  "  of  out- 
standing ability.  The  pity  is  that  the  corpus  sanum 
does  not  lodge  a  spirit  quite  in  keeping. 


12 


MR.  WALTER  LONG 

Mr.  Long  is  a  time-defying  type.  Of  course,  the 
years  have  had  their  usual  physical  effect  on  him. 
They  have  somewhat  enlarged  the  tonsure  of  a  con- 
stitutional baldness.  They  have  deepened  the  russet 
of  his  cheeks,  slightly  blanched  his  blonde  moustache, 
taken  something  from  the  once  ramrod-erectness  of 
his  horseback  seat.  But  mentally  it  is  the  same  Long : 
as  he  was  in  the  beginning,  he  is  now,  and  shall  be. 

In  Mr.  Long  the  type  overpowers  the  individual. 
True,  he  has  a  personality.  But  so  has  a  pedigree 
bull.  It  may  be  roguish  or  gentle,  brindled  or  red, 
or  black  and  white,  with  its  own  tastes  and  preju- 
dices in  the  matter  of  hay  and  mangels.  But,  after 
all,  the  main  fact  about  it  is  that  it  is  a  Shorthorn  or 
a  Hereford.  When  3^ou  have  stated  the  breed  you 
have  said  all  that  is  necessary  in  a  general  way. 

■Mr.  Long  is  a  pedigree  squire.  Few  others  are 
so  genuine.  The  Longs  have  neither  ascended  into 
the  ranks  of  the  great  nor  sunk  into  the  general  mass. 
They  have  lacked  the  ambition  and  ability  of  certain 
other  ancient  families,  and,  on  the  other  hand,  they 
have  never  been  given  to  the  vices  which  dissipate 
patrimonies.  For  centuries  pursuing  the  safe  path  of 
mediocrity,  they  have  kept  their  own,  and  grown  with 
the  times.  There  were  West-Country  Longs,  doubt- 
less, before  there  was  a  county  of  Wilts;  it  is  certain 
that  Wilts  had  Longs  before  England  had  a  Parlia- 
ment, and  almost  since  Parliament  was  Wilts  has  sent 
Longs  to  it.  One  Long  sat  during  the  Wars  of  the 
Roses.     Another  figured  in  one  of  the  stormy  Parlia- 

178 


MR.  WALTER  LONG  179 

ments  of  Charles  I.  A  third  held  office  of  some 
dignity  under  the  Merry  Monarch,  and  if  one  cared 
to  rummage  in  Dryasdust  one  would  be  pretty  certain 
to  find  in  every  reign  a  Long  who  was  something, 
but  not  very  much.  No  Long  ever  sounded  all  the 
depths  and  shoals  of  honour,  or  played  the  part  of 
the  little  wanton  bovs  who  swim  on  bladders.  The 
family  produced  no  subtle  thinker  or  ambitious 
plotter.  One  never  reads  of  a  Long  exchanging 
conceits  with  Sir  Thomas  More,  or  verses  with 
Spenser,  or  maxims  with  Bacon,  or  guilty  confidences 
with  Shaftesbury.  If  any  Long  swam  in  a  gondola 
we  may  be  sure  he  never  came  back  that  "  Diavolo 
Incarnato,"  the  Italianate  Englishman.  If  any  Long 
shared  Charles  I.'s  travels  we  may  be  sure  he  carried 
everywhere  with  him  the  air'  and  the  accent  of  the 
chalk  downs. 

Mr.  Walter  Long,  like  his  ancestors,  is  unadul- 
terated squire,  with  a  great  deal  of  the  good  and  some 
of  the  not  so  good  that  belongs  to  that  character 
But  he  has  one  gift  that  distinguishes  him  from  the 
generality  of  the  genus.  He  is  a  talking  squire.  He 
has  the  talent  of  articulate  speech.  He  can  talk  on 
any  subject.  He  does  not  talk  well;  but  a  talking 
squire  is  like  a  talking  horse;  as  Johnson  sa}Ts,  "  the 
wonder,  sir, is  not  that  the  thing  is  not  done  well,  but 
that  it  is  done  at  all."  I  remember  Mr.  Long  when 
he  first  entered  Parliament  for  the  Northern  Division 
of  Wiltshire  in  the  pre-Distribution  Act  days.  He 
was  then  very  young;  in  fact,  he  made  the  neat  and 
original  point  of  apologizing  for  a  fault  that  time 
would  cure.  But  he  spoke  without  hesitation  or 
remorse,  and  he  has  been  speaking  unhesitatingly 
and  remorselessly  ever  since. 

Of  course,  this  fluency  would   not  of  itself  have 
advanced   Mr.  Long  to  the   Front   Bench.     Had  he 


180  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

come  from  the  suburbs  of  a  North-Country  town  the 
healthy  pink  of  his  complexion  would  have  remained 
an  ornament  of  the  unofficial  benches.  But  he 
enjoyed,  like  Lord  Chaplin,  the  advantage  of  being 
the  representative  of  an  important  class  in  which  the 
capacity  of  coherent  expression  is  rare.  Lord  Chaplin, 
who  possesses  the  same  easy  power  of  aqueous  elo- 
quence, together  with  an  elephantine  majesty  peculi- 
arly his  own,  would  probably  have  gone  farther  than 
Mr.  Long  had  he  not  been  carried  away  by  his  Pro- 
tectionist leanings  at  a  time  when  Fair  Trade  was 
banned  as  a  dead  and  damned  heresy  by  the  Tory 
Caucus.  Mr.  Long  made  no  such  mistake.  At 
farmers'  ordinaries  and  puppy-walking  luncheons  in 
Wilts  and  Gloucestershire  he  might  drop  hints  that 
made  the  beer  mugs  or  champagne  glasses  rattle  with 
a  joyous  music,  but  in  Whitehall  he  was  strictly 
orthodox — until  the  time  came  when  it  was  orthodox 
to  profess  Protection  once  more. 

In  this  timely  conformity  and  equally  timely  con- 
version we  have  the  man.  For  Mr.  Long's  eyes,  so 
frank,  so  honest,  so  English  in  their  attractive  colour- 
scheme  of  turquoise  in  a  coral  setting,  have  always 
been  fixed  on  the  main  chance  politically,  and  have 
not  disdained  to  regard  the  main  chance  in  private 
matters  either.  He  is  a  shrewd  man  in  a  land  deal, 
and  he  has  a  good  deal  of  land,  both  in  England  and 
Ireland,  where  he  benefited  largely  by  the  will  of 
his  grandfather,  Mr.  William  Hume-Dick,  from  whom 
he  derives  his  second  name.  He  holds  the  simple 
faith  of  the  squire,  that  a  man  has  a  right  to  do 
what  he  likes  with  his  own,  and  that  land  exists 
chiefly  for  the  nurture  of  landlords.  The  English 
squire  is,  perhaps,  the  most  manly,  honourable, 
healthy-minded,  and  selfish  man  this  earth  has  pro- 
duced— too  fond  of  sucking  blood  to  shed  it  uselessly, 


MR.  WALTER  LONG  181 


too  lazy  and  too  careful  of  his  own  mental  comfort 
to  tyrannize  in  the  fashion  of  a  Prussian  Junker,  too 
proud  to  go  back  on  his  word  except  to  inferiors, 
too  fond  of  sport  and  jollity  to  live  ungenially  among 
his  own  people.  But  his  compromises  have  been  as 
fatal  as  other  despots'  logical  cruelties,  and  under  his 
open  smile  the  English  countryside  has  become  largely 
an  open  and  smiling  desert.  We  do  well  to  make  the 
most  of  men  like  Mr.  Long,  to  applaud  them  as  the 
fine  flower  of  our  manhood.  For  truly  we  have 
reared  them  at  a  prodigious  cost. 

It  is  not  a  little  singular  that,  while  at  Westminster 
people  think  little  of  Mr.  Long  as  a  statesman  and 
much  of  him  as  a  county  magnate,  in  Wiltshire  he 
is  regarded  as  an  inspired  politician  but  as  nothing- 
very  special  as  a  landowner  or  a  sportsman.  Rood 
Ashton,  with  all  its  dead  and  gone  Longs,  is  a  small 
affair  beside  Badminton  or  Longleat.  Mr.  Long, 
who  hunts  occasionally,  is  a  minor  hero  compared 
with  those  who  "  show  sport  "  six  days  in  the  week. 
It  is  just  this  action  and  reaction  of  Westminster  on 
Wiltshire  and  Wiltshire  on  Westminster  that  have 
been  the  secret  of  Mr.  Long's  solid  success  in  politics. 
Wiltshire  said,  "  Send  Mr.  Long  to  the  talking-shop; 
he  knows  how  to  talk."  Westminster  said,  "  Long  is 
not  brilliant,  certainly,  but  he  knows  all  about 
fertilizers,  turnips,  foot-and-mouth  disease,  goose- 
berry mildew,  and  how  to  talk  to  Hodge;  he's  safe, 
he  isn't  faddy,  and  one  must  have  one  man  who  can 
be  put  up  to  reply  without  a  stutter  to  Radical  land 
nonsense."  Once  in  the  Cabinet,  Mr.  Long  showed, 
as  in  the  case  of  the  Local  Government  Act  of  1888, 
a  certain  Quarter  Sessions  shrewdness  and  Board  of 
Guardians  common  sense  that  marked  him  as  a  useful 
man  in  his  way,  and  the  tradition  of  his  indispensa- 
bility  in  a  Conservative  Government  rapidly  took  root. 


182  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

If  we  may  believe  a  once  well-known  story,  the 
inclusion  at  last  became  automatic.  "  Who's  that 
very  pleasant-looking  man  ?"  Lord  Salisbury  is  said 
o  have  asked  of  Mr.  Balfour,  as  Mr.  Long  bowed  to 
them  in  Downing  Street.  "  That,"  explained  Mr. 
Balfour,  "  is  the  President  of  the  Local  Government 
Board,  Walter  Long."  "Ah,"  said  the  Prime  Minis- 
ter, '■  I  felt  sure  I  had  seen  that  face  somewhere." 
One  wonders  what  the  ironic  Cecil,  a  great  man  in 
his  kind,  would  have  thought  had  he  foreseen  that 
in  a  very  few  years  the  party  he  led,  rich  in  general 
talent  and  graced  by  one  or  two  fine  intellects,  would 
be  divided  on  the  question  whether  the  pleasant-look- 
ing squire,  or  Mr.  Chamberlain's  rather  disappointing 
son,  or  a  Glasgow  iron  merchant  still  unknown, 
should  command  it. 

The  choice  of  Mr.  Long  might  have  been  happier 
than  that  of  Mr.  Bonar  Law,  for  at  least  he  does  stand 
for  something  quite  definite.  He  is  a  plain  Tory  of 
the  Shires,  and  not  a  fantastic  Conservative  of  the 
suburbs.  He  is  "  out  "  simply  for  himself  and  his 
friends,  for  land,  Church,  and  the  trade.  I  believe 
he  has,  or  had,  relatives  in  each.  Under  him  Toryism 
might  have  gone  back  to  its  old  simplicity  for  awhile, 
healthily  slumbering  until  a  more  vital  spirit  arose. 
But  such  speculations  are  idle.  The  practical  point  is 
that  Mr.  Long,  having  once  been,  to  adapt  the  Papal 
formula,  "  Prime  Ministerable,"  was  confirmed  for 
life  in  his  right  to  be  considered  in  the  party,  and 
so,  when  the  first  War  Coalition  was  formed,  the 
claims  of  Mr.  Long,  in  the  classic  phrase,  "  could  not 
be  ignored."  The  Coalition  Cabinet  must  be  "  repre- 
sentative"; who  so  representative  as  the  squire  of 
Rood  Ashton  ?  Unfortunately,  Mr.  Long  has  been 
far  too  representative  to  be  used  to  the  best  purpose. 

He  has  qualities,  to  be  quite  fair,  which  might 


MR.  WALTER  LONG  183 

have  fitted  him  for  certain  Departmental  and  House 
of  Commons  work.  He  has  piloted  necessary  Bills 
through  Parliament  with  some  skill,  and  no  doubt 
has  worked  honestly  and  well,  according  to  his  lights, 
in  Whitehall.  But  unhappily,  so  "  representative  " 
a  man  could  not  be  treated  merely  as  a  junior  Minister. 
He  had  to  be  called  into  counsel  on  some  of  the  most 
important  questions  before  the  Cabinet,  and  Mr. 
Long  is  a  calamitous  counsellor  on  anything  more 
complex  than  a  dog-muzzling  order.  It  was,  for 
example,  a  tragic  absurdity  to  call  on  him  to  take  a 
principal  part  in  the  attempt  to  straighten  out  the 
Irish  tangle.  His  very  experience  as  Irish  Secretary 
was  a  handicap.  For  he  is  rather  a  vain  man,  and 
the  fact  that  he  went  through  a  quiet  period  without 
grave  trouble  has  given  him  exaggerated  notions  of 
his  own  capacity  as  an  Irish  administrator,  and  a 
quite  inadequate  conception  of  the  situation  produced 
by  the  crimes  and  errors  of  recent  years. 

It  is  a  sad  fact,  but  the  war  has  rendered  Mr.  Long 
obsolete  as  more  than  an  underling,  and  he  can 
scarcely  be  that  with  his  record.  There  might  have 
been  a  place  for  him  in  the  England  of  ten  years  ago. 
To-day  he  is  a  political  megatherium.  For  the 
England  of  the  Longs  has  passed  away.  The  landed 
gentry  of  the  cosy  Victorian  time,  with  many  privi- 
leges and  no  duties  save  what  they  found  fun  or 
profit  in  undertaking,  can  hardly  survive  in  any  case. 
If  they  survive  it  will  only  be  by  transforming  them- 
selves into  something  unrecognizable.  They  can  no 
longer  maintain  themselves  on  the  basis  of  "  showing 
good  sport ' '  and  distributing,  in  virtue  of  being  rich  men , 
poor  justice.  And  even  if  the  class  changes  by  some 
miracle,  Mr .  Long  at  least  is  unchangeable.  The  farewell 
to  him  will  be  kindlv  in  form,  but  definitive  in  effect. 


LORD  BEAVERBROOK 

"  As  to  leaders  in  parties,  nothing  is  more  common  than  to 
see  them  blindly  led.  The  world  is  governed  by  go-betweens. 
These  go-betweens  influence  the  persons  with  whom  they  carry 
on  the  intercourse,  by  stating  their  own  sense  to  each  of  them  as 
the  sense  of  the  other;  and  thus  they  reciprocally  master  both 
sides." — Burke:  Appeal  from  the  New  to  the  Old  Whigs. 

It  is  nearly  thirty-nine  years  ago  since  the  family 
circle  of  the  late  Rev.  William  Aitken,  Scottish 
minister,  of  New  Brunswick,  Canada,  was  gladdened 
by  the  arrival  of  a  boy  baby,  who,  when  he  renounced 
the  powers  of  evil,  was  given  the  names  of  William 
and  Maxwell.  In  later  life  he  dropped  the  first 
Christian  name  and  shortened  the  second,  and  it  was 
as  Max  Aitken,  tout  court,  that  he  became,  as  early 
as  twenty-five  3rears  of  age,  a  rich  man. 

It  would  be  interesting  to  trace  the  origins  of  that 
fortune  which  has  enabled  the  Presbyterian  clergy- 
man's son  to  play  a  considerable  part  in  English 
affairs,  and  to  become  successively  Knight,  Baronet, 
Peer  of  the  Realm,  and  Minister.  Unfortunately  a 
certain  obscurity  invests  the  earlier  business  life  of 
Lord  Beaverbrook.  It  is  understood  that  he  had  a 
short  and  highly  successful  career  in  the  West  Indies 
before  he  set  up  in  business  in  Halifax  and  Montreal. 
In  Canada  he  achieved  great  things  as  a  financier  and 
"  bond  merchant,"  and  it  is  certain  that,  in  whatever 
pursuits  he  made  money,  he  made  it  very  rapidly. 

In  the  year  1910,  Max  Aitken  invaded  England. 
No  other  verb  quite  expresses  the  fact.  He  came,  he 
saw,  he  overcame.     In  the  early  months  of  that  year 

T84 


LORD  BEAVERBROOK  185 

the  mention  of  his  name,  in  any  but  a  very  limited 
circle,  would  have  conveyed  nothing.  At  the  end  of 
the  year  he  was  well  known  in  the  City  and  even 
better  known  at  Westminster.  His  social  and  politi- 
cal progress  rather  recalled  that  of  Mr.  Veneering  in 
Our  Mutual  Friend.  People  who  had  known  him 
a  fortnight  somehow  felt  the}7  were  the  chosen  com- 
rades of  his  boyhood.  He  rapidly  collected  round 
him  more  old  and  intimate  friends  than  the  ordinary 
man  makes  in  a  lifetime.  In  company  with  some  of 
these  (of  at  least  three  weeks'  standing)  he  went  down 
to  Ashton-under-Lyne,  as  Mr.  Veneering  did  to  Pocket 
Breeches,  and  won  a  whirlwind  election  campaign. 
There  was  no  resisting  his  big  car,  his  bevy  of  tame 
editors,  his  powerful  gift  of  speech. 

The  next  3~ear  he  was  knighted.  Mr.  A^quith,  of 
course,  was  not  so  conscious  of  the  merits  of  a  politi- 
cal opponent  as  to  confer  this  honour  of  his  own 
initiative.  But  it  is  the  custom  from  time  to  time  to 
confer  a  certain  number  of  honours  on  the  suggestion 
of  the  Opposition  leader,  and  Mr.  Aitken  had  by  this 
time  won  a  position  in  the  Unionist  Party  sufficient 
to  justify  Mr.  Balfour  in  putting  forward  his  name. 
It  is  safe  to  say  that  Mr.  Balfour  himself  had  only  a 
formal  share  in  the  transaction.  His  star  was  already 
fast  declining,  and  Mr.  Aitken  was  the  last  man  in  the 
world  to  take  an  interest  in  "  back  numbers."  He 
had  allied  himself  with  the  extreme  Tariff  Reformers ; 
he  was  searching  London  for  a  daily  paper  to  push 
himself  and  his  creed ;  he  was  hand-in-glove  with 
those  who  had  already  resolved  on  Mr.  Balfour's 
deposition.  The  true  credit  for  the  bestowal  of  this 
honour  no  doubt  belongs  to  Mr.  Bonar  Law.  He  and 
Mr.  Aitken  were  on  close  terms  of  intimacy;  they 
came  from  the  same  province ;  they  shared  the  same 
economic  convictions.     It  was  only  natural  that  Mr. 


186  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

Law  should  put  in  a  word  for  his  pushful  and  am- 
bitious friend. 

Sir  Max,  as  we  must  now  call  him,  grew  rapidly 
in  political  stature.  He  was  one  of  those  members 
who  are  seldom  heard  in  the  House,  but  are  constantly 
felt  in  the  Lobbies.  Even  before  he  obtained  control 
of  a  newspaper  he  exercised  considerable  influence 
through  journalistic  friends,  who  shared  his  week- 
ends and  his  lightning  trips  between  this  country  and 
Canada.  Quite  impervious  to  a  rebuff,  possessing  a 
remarkable  talent  for  finding  the  weak  side  of  every 
man,  amazingly  frank  in  manner,  and  extremely 
subtle  in  method,  he  hustled  his  way  into  the  inner 
circle  of  the  "  Die-Hards. "  His  part  in  the  plot  that 
dethroned  Mr.  Balfour  was  undoubtedly  considerable, 
and  later  he  threw  the  whole  weight  of  his  influence 
on  the  side  of  the  Ulster  extremists.  In  due  course 
his  ambitions  for  direct  newspaper  influence  were 
gratified,  and  in  three  or  four  years  the  mysterious 
visitor  from  Canada  had  attained  a  power  none  the 
less  formidable  because  it  was  largely  exercised  from 
behind  cover. 

Without  a  knowledge  of  these  facts  it  is  not  easy 
to  understand  the  strong  feeling  created  by  Lord 
Beaverbrook's  appointment  as  Director  of  Propa- 
ganda. They  are  necessary,  also,  in  order  to  appre- 
ciate the  part  he  played  in  the  drama  which  led  to  a 
change  of  Government  in  191 6.  The  full  faces  are 
not  known.  But  it  is  certain  that  in  the  movement 
culminating  in  Mr.  Asquith's  retirement  the  Canadian 
knight  was  an  actor  of  prime  importance.  He  was 
the  go-between  who,  as  Burke  puts  it,  often  governs 
by  suggestion,  and  becomes  the  master  of  those  he 
seems  to  serve. 

Towards  the  end  of  191 6  there  was  much  disunion 
in  the  Cabinet  and  great  discontent  in  the  country. 


LORD  BEAVERBROOK  187 

Mr.  Lloyd  George,  while  on  terms  of  personal  friend- 
liness with  Mr.  Asquith,  was  profoundly  out  of 
sympathy  with  some  features  of  his  policy.  He  had 
drawn  apart  from  most  of  his  colleagues,  and  was  in 
close  relations  with  Sir  Edward  Carson,  who  had 
angrily  flung  out  of  the  Cabinet  a  year  before  in 
protest  against  the  supposed  supineness  of  the  Prime 
Minister.  Mr.  Bonar  Law  was  extremely  uncomfort- 
able. The  debate  on  the  sale  of  enemy  properties  in 
Nigeria,  in  which  he  had  been  placed  in  a  position  of 
antagonism  to  the  extreme  Tariff  Reformers,  had 
greatly  disturbed  him,  in  view  of  his  pledge  not  to 
hold  office  in  the  Coalition  longer  than  he  retained 
the  confidence  of  his  party.  Between  him  and  Mr. 
Lloyd  George  there  was  at  this  time  less  cordiality 
than  before  or  after,  and  events  had  somewhat 
strained  his  relations  with  Sir  Edward  Carson.  Sir 
Max  Aitken — I  am  adopting  the  version  given  by 
"  An  Independent  Liberal  "  in  his  illuminating  little 
book — used  his  influence  to  bring  these  three  together. 
The  history  of  the  crisis  is  really  the  history  of  the 
scores  of  meals,  breakfasts,  dinners,  and  suppers 
which  these  four  enjo}red  under  the  friendly  roof 
of  the  member  for  Ashton-under-Lyne  during  the 
November  of  1916. 

It  is  unnecessary  here  to  recall  all  the  attempts  at 
accommodation  and  the  events  which  led  to  the  final 
breach.  Mr.  Law  was  undoubtedly  actuated  by  two 
motives,  and  two  only — to  improve  the  administra- 
tion and  to  unify  his  own  party.  Mr.  Lloyd  George 
was  unwilling  to  force  Mr.  Asquith  into  resignation, 
though  determined  to  get  his  point.  Sir  Edward 
Carson  was  probably  well  enough  pleased  with  the 
actual  issue.  That  issue  was  perhaps  inevitable.  But 
in  the  sudden  frustration  of  all  attempts  at  compro- 
mise we   seem  to    trace   the  influence    of  a  master 


188  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 


of  intrigue.  Somebody  gave  information  on  which 
The  Times  based  its  article  of  December  4,  represent- 
ing  the  Prime  Minister  as  having  agreed  practically 
to  become  a  roi  faineant,  "  an  irresponsible  spectator," 
to  borrow  Mr.  Asquith's  own  phrase.  That  there 
was  a  le  kage  is  certain;  who  supplied  the  facts  on 
which  this  insulting  gloss  was  made  has  never  been 
revealed,  and  probably  never  will  be. 

Sir  Max  Ait  ken  survived  only  a  few  days  the  fall 
of  the  Asquith  Ministry.  He  disappeared  for  ever, 
and  Baron  Beaverbrook  took  his  place.  In  this 
country  there  was  little  comment  at  the  time  on  this 
curious  coincidence.  After  all,  we  are  accustomed 
to  the  ennoblement  of  rich  men  with  no  very  obvious 
public  claims.  In  the  Dominions,  on  the  other  hand, 
titles  are  not  popular  at  the  best,  and  the  bestowal 
of  this  particular  title  caused  a  feeling  little  under- 
stood on  our  side  of  the  Atlantic.  In  honouring  Sir 
Max  Ait  ken  it  would  really  seem  that  the  Prime 
Minister  had  not  succeeded  in  persuading  Canada  that 
Canada  was  honoured.  Comments  described  in  the 
House  of  Commons  as  "  amazingly  frank  and  even 
libellous  "  appeared  in  the  free-spoken  journals  of 
that  free  land;  they  were  read  on  this  side;  and  the 
criticism  of  Lord  Beaverbrook's  appointment  as  Chief 
Propagandist  was  largely  based  on  these  strictures. 

On  other  grounds  the  attacks  made  on  Lord 
Beaverbrook's  conduct  of  the  Ministry  of  Informa- 
tion have  so  far  failed  to  convince.  True,  he  is  in 
many  respects  quite  unfitted  for  the  task.  He  brings 
to  it  neither  the  appropriate  education  nor  the  neces- 
sary knowledge  of  European  affairs.  The  smallest 
part  of  that  business  is  drum-beating,  cinema-filming, 
and  vulgar  advertisement.  It  demands  a  deep 
knowledge  of  affairs,  close  touch  with  European 
history  during  the  last  fifty  years,  some  perception 


LORD  BEAVERBROOK  189 

of  what  part  religion  still  plays  in  the  lives  of  men, 
and  a  delicate  sense  of  what  may  be  called  the 
personality  of  nations.  The  coarsest  mistakes  are 
possible  to  a  person  of  small  culture,  and  the  hustle 
and  bustle  of  the  shrewd,  sharp  business  man  con- 
stitute an  actual  disqualification.  But  when  that  is 
said,  there  appears  no  special  reason  to  believe  that 
Lord  Beaverbrook  is  less  suitable  than  any  other  of 
the  pushful  type.  He  is  undoubtedly  shrewd,  and 
has  done  some  things  which  deserve  recognition. 
For  example,  he  has  appreciably  relaxed  the  foolish 
policy  of  reticence.  He  has  seen  the  advantage  of 
bringing  to  the  notice  of  Colonial  journalists  the  real 
facts  of  the  war.  He  has  done  something  to  break 
down  the  wall  of  misunderstanding  between  Great 
Britain  and  her  Allies  as  to  our  share  in  the  general 
burden  and  sacrifice.  Critics,  indeed,  have  been 
driven  to  dwell  less  on  what  he  has  done  than  what 
he  might  do. 

And  that  really  is  the  chief  strength  of  their  case. 
Lord  Beaverbrook  may  be,  and  probably  is,  a  fit 
recipient  of  the  favour  of  the  Crown,  and  might, 
in  many  capacities,  be  a  highly  useful  public 
servant.  But  there  was  a  crudity  about  the  con- 
ferment of  his  titles  that  struck  many,  and  it  is 
undeniably  a  little  disquieting  to  observe  the  ease 
with  which  an  ambitious  man,  coming  as  a  stranger 
to  this  country,  can  in  a  few  years  raise  him- 
self to  a  position  of  great  and  undefined  political 
influence.  Still  more  disturbing  is  the  extraordinary 
public  indifference  to  such  a  phenomenon.  Even  a 
quarter  of  a  century  ago  opinion  was  powerful  enough 
to  prevent  any  but  the  lesser  honours  going  the  way 
of  the  South  African  millionaires,  and,  with  the 
exception  of  Rhodes,  they  were  unable  appreciably 
to  deflect  political  currents  by  their  wealth. 


190  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

Lord  Beaverbrook,  a  comparatively  small  man 
financially,  has  scaled  heights  forbidden  to  the  great 
Randlords,  and  possesses  a  control  of  the  Press  which 
Rhodes,  in  the  plenitude  of  his  power,  never  attained. 
This  particular  ascent  into  Olympus  may  be  satis- 
factorily explained.  But  the  facility  of  the  thing 
suggests  doubts  as  to  the  quality  of  the  largely 
increasing  population  of  divinities. 


EARL  CURZON  OF  KEDLESTON 

It  is  with  a  slight  shock  that  one  recalls  that  Lord 
Curzon  is  very  nearly  sixty.  It  used  to  be  equally 
hard  to  realize  that  the  Honourable  George  Nathaniel 
Curzon  was  not  more  than  thirty.  Mr.  Curzon 
seemed  too  promising  to  be  so  young.  Earl  Curzon 
seems  too  promising  to  be  so  old. 

There  was  never  a  stage  in  Lord  Curzon 's  career  in 
which  he  did  not  promise  rather  more  than  he  has 
actually  performed,  notable  though  his  record  has 
been.  The  Honourable  George  Nathaniel — Nathaniel 
is  a  constantly  recurring  name  in  the  family,  like 
Benjamin  among  the  Bathursts  and  Charles  and 
Cosmo  among  the  Gordon-Lennoxes — seems  to  have 
resembled  that  precocious  genius  of  whom  Captain 
Shandy  spoke  with  mingled  pity  and  disapproval. 
"  They  should  have  cleared  it  away  and  said  nothing 
about  it,"  quoth  Uncle  Toby,  when  told  of  an  "  im- 
mortal work  "  composed  at  an  unnaturally  early  age. 
The  peer-parson  who  was  Lord  Curzon 's  father  seems 
to  have  acted  on  this  sensible  principle,  for  we  have 
few  anecdotes  concerning  the  earliest  manifestations 
of  the  future  Viceroy's  genius.  But  the  doctor  who 
assisted  him  into  the  world  is  said  to  have  remarked 
that  he  had  a  special  conformation  cf  the  head 
that  only  goes  with  greatness,  and  we  know  that 
at  Eton  he  was  a  mature  politician  at  fourteen.  One 
admirer  who  remembers  him  there  describes  him  as 
a  most  remarkable  boy,  full  of  beauty,  vigour,  and 
genius. 

He  is  recalled  bj>-  other  contemporaries  for  his 
decided  views,  and  the  fluent  energy  with  which  he 

191 


192  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

expressed  them,  no  less  than  for  the  queer  solemnity 
of  his  chubby  face,  the  glossiness  of  his  hats,  the 
scrupulous  neatness  of  his  clothes,  the  lustre  of  his 
black  hair,  and  his  strong  objection  to  compulsory 
football.  He  used  to  talk  of  what  he  would  do  when 
Prime  Minister.  He  promised  one  admiring  chum 
the  post  of  Chancellor  of  the  Exchequer,  and  nobody 
laughed  at  him  for  doing  so. 

George  was  not  entirely  happy  at  Eton.  But  there 
is  no  record  of  the  youthful  politician  experiencing 
at  school  any  of  that  rough  discipline  extolled  as  the 
one  virtue  of  our  higher  educational  system.  The 
process  of  "  knocking  the  nonsense  "  out  of  our 
gilded  youth  operates  very  uneventy.  If  the  public 
school  crushes  one  clever  boy  as  a  prig,  it  accepts 
another  as  a  hero.  Boys,  like  most  barbarians,  err 
on  the  side  of  simplicity  in  their  judgments  of  excep- 
tional people;  they  have  no  half-way  house  between 
the  Tarpeian  rock  and  the  Capitol.  With  the  same 
qualities,  young  Curzon  might  have  suffered  torture; 
as  things  were,  he  was  perhaps  spoiled  by  the  reverence 
of  his  little  clique.  The  University  has  more  balance, 
and  Balliol,  while  noting  the  brilliance  of  the  Honour- 
able George  Nathaniel,  was  not  slow  to  satirize  his 
pomposity.  To  an  undergraduate  wit  we  owe  the 
immortal  couplet : 

"My  name  is  George  Nathaniel  Curzon; 
I  am  a  most  superior  purzon." 

The  lines  are  unforgettable,  chiefly  because  Lord 
Curzon  has  never  allowed  them  to  be  forgotten. 
Superiority  in  him  is  not  an  excrescence;  it  is  an 
aroma.  Like  the  musk  in  the  mortar  of  St.  Sophia 
at  Constantinople,  it  is  destined  to  last  as  long  as  the 
fabric.  Whence  Lord  Curzon  derives  this  superiority 
is  his  own  secret.     It  may  be  innate.     It  may  have 


EARL  CURZON  OF  KEDLESTON         193 

been  nurtured  by  the  atmosphere  of  his  parsonage 
home.  In  philology  and  in  fact,  a  parson  is  "  The 
Person  "  of  his  parish,  and  if  the  parson  himself 
forgets  it  his  sons  rarely  do.  But  when  the  parson 
is  no  mere  Vicar  of  Wakefield,  when  he  employs 
enough  curate  power  to  be  eased  of  his  duties  without 
neglecting  them,  and  when  he  is  incidentally  a  Peer 
of  the  Realm,  a  baronet  of  early  Stuart  creation,  a 
large  landowner,  and  possessor  of  a  pedigree  quite 
genuinely  traceable  to  the  Conquest,  it  is  not  odd  that 
the  parson's  son  should  imbibe  a  more  than  strictly 
necessary  sense  of  his  position. 

Superiority  in  Lord  Curzon  has  long  been  recog- 
nized as  no  boyish  foible,  but  as  a  permanent  and 
most  important  element  in  his  character.  He  went 
round  the  world  in  a  highly  superior  way,  staying  at 
embassies  as  lesser  men  do  at  hotels,  presented  to 
pagan  potentates,  not  as  an  irrelevant  globe-trotter, 
out  as  a  statesman  in  training.  In  such  books 
as  that  entertaining  Problems  of  the  Far  East 
(which,  I  believe,  Lord  Curzon  will  not  allow  to  be 
reprinted),  the  author  reveals  himself  not  only  as  a 
shrewd,  if  rather  superficial,  observer,  but  as  the 
possessor  of  a  quite  complicated  superiority,  racial, 
social,  and  personal. 

As  Under-Secretary  for  Foreign  Affairs  his  supe- 
riority shone  undimmed.  The  House  of  Commons  is 
easily  bemused  with  even  a  dexterous  show  of  know- 
ledge on  a  department  of  public  business  of  which  it 
is  abysmally  ignorant,  and  Mr.  Curzon  had  real  know- 
ledge as  well  as  the  power  of  implying  omniscience. 
It  was  a  delight  in  those  days  to  hear  him  explaining 
a  concession  in  Persia  or  a  mission  to  the  Amir. 
"  Arthur  thinks  we  are  a  vulgar  lot,"  said  Sir  William 
Harcourt  of  Mr.  Balfour.  "  George,"  as  "  Arthur  " 
called  him,  was  no  less  impressed  with  the  mental 

13 


194  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 


incapacity  of  his  udience.  A  tolerant  and  patient 
contempt,  as  of  a  teacher  with  an  idiot  child,  was 
the  basis  of  his  official  attitude  towards  the  faithful 
Commons. 

The  memory  of  his  Viceroyalty  is  still  green  in 
man}''  Anglo-Indian  memories.  No  such  splendid 
figure  had  been  seen  in  India  since  the  days  of 
Aurungzebe.  Somebody  has  said  that  there  are  three 
ways  of  ruling  men:  by  the  force  of  arms,  by  the 
force  of  justice,  and  by  the  force  of  trumpery.  Lord 
Curzon  specialized  in  displa}7.  He  tightened  up  the 
ceremonial  paraphernalia  of  Calcutta  and  Simla  to  a 
degree  that  irked  the  honest  Sedleys  and  Dobbins  of 
the  Civil  Service  and  the  Indian  Army.  "  Such 
language  was  never  heard  west  of  Constantinople," 
grumbled  General  Conway,  after  an  interview  with 
the  elder  Pitt.  A  good  many  veterans  who  trudged 
through  avenues  of  troops  and  officials  to  pay  their 
court  to  the  Viceroy  must  have  felt  that  the  West 
had  little  to  learn  from  the  East  in  the  way  of  Byzan- 
tinism.  There  is  a  story  that  once  at  a  church  in 
Simla  the  collection  bag  was  offered  to  Lord  Curzon 
by  the  ordinary  sidesman.  The  Viceroy  remained 
blandly  unconscious.  Thinking  it  was  a  case  of 
mental  absorption,  the  sidesman  gently  rattled  the 
bag.  Still  no  sign  of  life  on  the  part  of  the  Viceroy. 
Then  an  aide-de-camp  had  a  happy  inspiration.  He 
took  the  bag  and  offered  it  in  due  form  to  His  Excel- 
lency, who  immediately  revived,  and  paid  his  due  to 
Heaven  as  befitted  the  representative  of  no  mean 
earthly  majesty. 

This  dignity  of  Lord  Curzon  is  indeed  a  wonderful 
thing.  He  cannot  bid  for  a  picture  or  a  curio  at 
Christie's  without  seeming  to  patronize  Cellini  or 
Rembrandt  as  well  as  the  auctioneer.  Some  time 
ago  he  was  one  of  a  group  of  Ministers  watching  the 
American  troops  march  through  London.     The  others 


EARL  CURZON  OF  KEDLESTON  195 

were  quite  human.  Mr.  Balfour,  whom  it  is  the 
fashion  to  call  a  cold  philosopher,  was  waving  a 
handkerchief  with  boyish  enthusiasm.  But  Lord 
Curzon  stood  bolt  upright,  stiffly  gracious,  combining, 
like  the  Duke  of  Plaza  Toro,  "  a  pose  majestic  with 
a  d  meanour  nobly  bland,"  much  as  if  he  were 
receiving  a  belated  but  sufficient  apology  for  the 
Declaration  of  Independence. 

Just  as  it  is  not  easy,  in  looking  at  an  Infanta  by 
Velasquez,  to  focus  attention  on  the  face,  so  absorbed 
is  one  in  the  cascade  of  crinolined  drapery,  so  the 
mannerism  of  Lord  Curzon  does  seriously  increase 
the  difficulty  of  a  steady  survey  of  his  real  qualities. 
We  know  that  he  is  enormously  clever.  He  would 
be  clever  if  he  belonged  to  any  class,  and  on  his  social 
stilts  even  moderate  intellectual  stature  looms  up 
gigantesque.  He  has  done  many  things  brillir.ntly. 
It  is  less  easy  to  say  that  he  has  attained  a  solid 
success  in  any  one  thing.  Still  harder  is  it  to  say 
that  he  has  failed  decisively  and  specifically.  In  fact, 
there  is  a  good  deal  of  mystery  bout  the  whole 
matter.  Much  difference  exists  in  instructed  opinion 
as  to  the  wisdom  of  his  policy  in  India.  In  domestic 
politics  it  is  hard  to  place  him;  one  can  only  say 
that  he  has  hardly  fulfilled  the  promise  of  his  youth. 
The  value  of  his  presence  in  the  War  Cabinet  is 
wholly  unknown  to  the  outside  public.  He  is  said 
to  be  a  strong  man;  but  so  was  Sir  Edward  Carson. 
We  have,  indeed,  almost  come  to  the  stage  of  using 
the  adjective  "  strong  "  when  at  loss  to  quality 
more  precisely. 

One  quality  undoubtedly  he  possesses  in  full 
me  sure.  He  is  a  master  of  statety  and  luminous 
speech.  In  this  respect  he  has  shown  continuous  im- 
provement throughout  his  career.  In  other  regards 
one  is  conscious  of  some  disappointment,  like  that 
which    one    feels    in    reading     Vivian    Grey.     The 


196  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

wonderful  boy  of  Disraeli's  sketch  ends  as  a  wonder- 
ful bore.  Lord  Curzon  is  not  that;  he  will  always 
remain  interesting.  But  there  is  in  his  case,  as  there 
was  in  Lord  Rosebery's,a  feeling  that  a  brilliant  first 
and  second  act  are  leading  up  to  a  tame  denouement. 
Something  may  be  owing  to  a  physique  never  quite 
equal  to  the  demands  on  it.  More  may  be  due  to  the 
early  satisfaction  of  ambitions  not  perhaps  of  the 
highest,  even  in  the  most  worldly  sense.  Lord 
Curzon  is  paying  the  penalty  of  a  premature  dignity. 
When  he  was  tempted  as  a  young  man  to  take  the 
Viceroyalty  and  its  attendant  honours  he  astonished 
many  friends  and  delighted  some  enemies ;  they  re- 
membered how  Atalanta  lost  the  race  through  picking 
up  a  golden  apple. 

It  may  be  that  the  explanation  is  altogether  wider. 
It  may  be  that  Lord  Curzon 's  only  handicap  is  that 
he  is  an  anachronism.  Certainly  he  would  have  been 
temperamentally  better  at  home  in  the  old  England 
of  rotten  boroughs  and  "  great  ladies  "  than  in  the 
new  England  of  plutocracy  modified  by  the  trade 
union  vote.  His  temper  rather  than  his  convictions 
keeps  him  apart  from  the  magnates ;  his  convictions 
as  well  as  his  temper  prevent  him  even  successfully 
assuming  any  sympathy  with  the  common  man.  He 
was  probably  born  a  hundred  and  fifty  years  too  late, 
for  his  affinities  are  rather  with  the  Georgians  than 
with  the  Victorians.  He  shares  their  contempt  for 
the  "  swinish  multitude,"  their  intense  national 
egoism,  their  wonderful  confidence,  and  perhaps  a 
little  of  that  quality  which  gave  us  the  reputation 
of  "  perfide  Albion." 

A  rather  lonely  figure,  in  our  singular  collection 
of  war  lords,  he  seems  to  typify  that  "  ruling  class  " 
which  has  lost  one  knack  of  ruling  without  acquiring 
another,  but  retains  all  its  passion  for  the  toys  and 
gauds  of  public  life. 


VISCOUNT  HALDANE 

The  wisdom  of  the  ancients  notwithstanding,  there 
are  few  things  people  quarrel  more  furiously  over 
than  taste,  and  that  no  doubt  is  the  reason  brothers 
are  divided,  and  father  is  estranged  from  son,  con- 
cerning Lord  Haldane.  For  the  bland  and  learned 
Viscount  is  not  simply  a  man  of  affairs,  to  be  judged 
on  his  record.  He  is  a  flavour.  If  you  like  the 
flavour,  it  is  exactly  the  flavour  you  like;  if  you 
dislike  it,  it  may  throw  you  into  fits,  as  the  smell  of 
patchouli  did  Napoleon. 

The  Haldane  cult  is  not  a  popular  one.  Had  Lord 
Haldane  always  dissembled  his  love  for  the  German 
classics  he  would  still  have  been  suspect  to  the  great 
body  of  the  English  people — the  present  writer  is  not 
in  a  position  to  judge  concerning  the  Scottish. 
Englishmen  might  pardon  Lord  Haldane's  defects, 
but  they  could  hardly  forgive  his  virtues.  To  take 
one  point  alone,  his  enormous  volubility,  Lord  Hal- 
dane offends  because  he  talks  so  well,  rather  than 
because  he  talks  so  much.  We  are  quite  tolerant  to 
men  whose  speeches  are  merely  long — one  might  say 
merely  Walter  Long.  We  have  no  complaint  against 
those  who  make  demands  on  our  time;  but  we  do 
dislike  those  who  make  excessive  demands  on  our 
attention.  Lord  Haldane  has  been  classed  as  chief 
of  bores  largely  because  there  is  too  much  matter  in 
his  speeches,  and  because  he  pays  his  hearers  the 
compliment  of  supposing  them  to  be  as  earnest  and 
interested  as  himself.  Say  that  he  is  a  cultivated 
Scotsman,  with  the   Scottish  passion  for  knowledge 

197 


198  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 


for  its  own  sake,  the  Scottish  logic,  and  the  Scottish 
love  of  exhausting  a  subject,  and  you  have  said 
everything  that  need  explain  the  instinctive  irritation 
of  the  Southron. 

The  war  has  only  intensified  an  existing  prejudice. 
Other  men  of  affairs  had  their  spiritual  homes  in 
Germany ;  many  were  intimately  connected  with 
German  families;  nearly  all  looked  eastward,  like 
Lord  Haldane,  with  intense  admiration,  slightly 
tinctured  with  fear.  It  was  not  Lord  Haldane  who 
first  called  the  North  Sea  the  German  Ocean;  one 
can  find  the  name  in  any  eighteenth-century  atlas. 
Even  if  fluent  command  of  German  were  a  crime, 
Lord  Haldane  was  not  the  only  criminal.  If  a 
passion  for  the  German  philosophy  dishonours  a 
patriot,  then  most  of  our  thinkers  for  a  century  past 
must  plead  guilty  of  conduct  unbefitting  a  Briton. 
Coming  to  things  more  concrete,  if  Lord  Haldane  is 
to  be  condemned  for  believing  in  modern  German 
methods,  copying  German  legislative  models,  and 
dreaming  of  an  "  understanding  "  with  our  "  cousins," 
then  nearly  all  the  Cabinet,  most  ex- Ministers,  and 
the  cream  of  English  society  should  stand  in  the 
same  dock  for  sentence.  Yet  it  is  Lord  Haldane,  and 
Lord  Haldane  alone,  who  is  denounced  as  a  stealthy 
pro-German  and  even  a  conscious  traitor. 

So  stupid  and  so  vulgar  has  been  the  outcry  against 
the  German  side  of  Lord  Haldane  that  even  to  refer 
to  it  is  distasteful.  Yet  that  German  side  is  so  im- 
portant an  element  in  the  man,  and  has  had  so  much 
influence  on  his  career,  that  it  cannot  be  ignored. 
It  is,  of  course,  his  weaker  side,  as  it  was  Carlyle's. 
And,  as  in  the  case  of  Carlyle,  it  is  the  side  of  which 
he  is  immoderately  proud.  Harvey  said  of  Bacon, 
"  The  Lord  Chancellor  writes  of  science — like  a  Lord 
Chancellor."     Bacon's  successor  has  won  fame  as  a 


VISCOUNT  HALDANE  199 

metaphysician  chiefly  among  his  political  and  legal 
friends.  His  contributions  to  philosophy  are  rather 
lik  •  the  poems  with  which  Thackeray's  publisher 
loaded  his  magazines,  because  their  names  carried 
weight  in  society.  Nobody  would  ever  dream  of 
taking  note  of  them  but  for  the  eminence  of  the 
author  in  another  world.  They  give  proof  of  a  strong 
memory  and  a  considerable  power  of  comprehension ; 
in  no  way  do  they  suggest  that  an  immortal  thinker 
was  lost  through  Lord  Haldane's  absorption  in  things 
of  the  moment. 

One  might  go  farther,  and  suggest  that  if  Lord 
Haldane  has  ever  a  tendency  to  twaddle,  it  is  when 
he  engages  in  acts  of  hero-worship.  A  great  scientist, 
who  was  also  a  Roman  Catholic,  remarked  that  he 
shut  one  compartment  of  his  mind  when  he  left  the 
laboratory  and  opened,  another  when  he  entered  the 
oratory.  Lord  Haldane  is,  in  the  same  way,  two 
distinct  beings.  With  a  practical  faculty  too  little 
recognized,  he  is  all  shrewdness  and  scepticism  in 
business.  But  when  he  enters  his  Hegelian  joss- 
house  he  seems  to  have  little  more  sense  of  proportion 
than  the  poor  Indian  of  the  untutored  mind.  He 
talks  of  Kant,  Goethe,  and  Schiller  as  "  the  men  who 
taught  mankind  what  was  meant  by  the  wonderful 
power  of  thought,"  as  if  Konigsberg  or  Weimar 
were  the  Bethlehem  of  philosophy.  Lord  Haldane's 
excessive  reverence  for  the  great  Germans  is  no  more 
traitorous  than  the  ignorant  contempt  of  some  of  his 
critics  is  patriotic.  But  it  is  certainly  provincial. 
We  rightly  laugh  at  the  Sinologue  who  eternally 
thrusts  on  us  the  wisdom  of  Confucius  because  he 
happens  to  have  studied  that  philosopher  in  the 
original.  Why  should  we  regard  with  submissive 
solemnity  the  enthusiasms  of  learned  gentlemen  with 
a  fancy  for   Kant  and   Fichte  ?     The  question,  like 


200  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

golf  talk,  is  largely  one  of  manners ;  in  pushing  his 
Germans  down  our  throats  Lord  Haldane  is  guilty  of 
a  social  solecism. 

There  is,  too,  a  somewhat  more  serious  side  to  the 
matter.  Lord  Haldane,  with  his  masterful  disposi- 
tion, has  not  been  content  to  let  the  German  bee  buzz 
unproductively  in  his  own  bonnet.  He  has  always 
been  anxious  that  it  should  make  honey.  In  plain 
English  he  has  exercised  a  great  deal  of  influence 
over  his  associates,  and  the  adoption  of  Prussian 
legislative  models  during  the  last  few  years  has 
probably  been  due  chiefly  to  his  suggestion.  For 
the  Liberal  Cabinet  he  was  an  unofficial  purveyor 
of  ideas,  and  all  his  ideas  were  derived  either  from 
the  dead  or  the  living  "  very  big  men  "  of  Germany. 
Of  his  own  work  at  the  War  Office — as  Lord  Chan- 
cellor he  made  little  impression — it  becomes  us  to 
speak,  if  not  with  gratitude,  at  least  with  respect. 
He  made,  no  doubt,  some  mistakes.  The  whole 
credit  of  his  achievements  is  not  his.  But  when  all 
deductions  are  made,  there  remains  the  great  fact 
that,  while  at  the  beginning  of  the  Boer  War  it  took 
five  weeks  to  despatch  fifty  thousand  men,  nearly 
three  times  that  force  was  landed  in  France,  without 
hitch  or  fuss,  within  a  fortnight  of  the  declaration  of 
the  present  war.  Moreover,  under  him  was  created 
a  Territorial  organization  which  permitted  the  use 
of  battalions  after  two  months'  war  training. 

If  Lord  Haldane  could  be  judged  on  this  record 
alone  he  would  have  little  reason  to  wince  at  present- 
day  criticism  or  to  anticipate  the  adverse  judgment 
of  history.  But  in  his  case  there  is  some  reason  to 
believe  that  the  part  is  greater  than  the  whole. 
Haldane  the  man  was  an  admirable  instrument, 
clear-headed,  industrious,  indomitable.  Haldane  the 
flavour  was,  on  the  whole,  probably  an  unfortunate 


VISCOUNT  HALDANE  201 

influence.  Of  his  patriotism  there  can  at  no  time 
have  been  any  doubt.  But  strong  partialities  must 
necessarily  affect  the  judgment,  and  almost  any 
counsel  was  better  during  the  years  preceding  the 
war  than  that  of  a  man  so  obsessed.  It  is  a  pity  that 
Lord  Haldane  lacked  the  control  of  a  master's  hand. 
There  was  a  strong  side  of  him  which  might  have 
been  developed  to  even  greater  advantage — his  busi- 
ness faculty  and  driving  power  in  administration. 
Unfortunately,  the  weaker  side  which  he  himself 
fancied  fascinated  also  his  chief,  who  took  counsel 
where  he  should  have  exacted  only  service. 

The  same  mistake  has  been  made  with  Lord  Hal- 
dane during  the  war.  It  may  seem  a  heresy  to  sug- 
gest that  if  Mr.  Asquith  had  had  the  courage  to  instal 
him  at  the  War  Office,  leaving  Lord  Kitchener  free 
to  attend  to  his  real  duties,  the  result  might  have 
been  more  satisfactory  than  the  muddled  control  of 
the  first  year  of  the  war.  But  certainly  that  belief 
is  shared  by  many  who  are  by  no  means  favourable 
to  Lord  Haldane  on  general  grounds.  As  things  are, 
we  have  made  the  worst  of  both  possible  Haldanes. 
We  have  deprived  ourselves  of  his  strong  practical 
understanding  and  tireless  energy  as  administrator, 
and  we  have  forced  into  undesirable  activity  the 
pseudo-wisdom  which  makes  him  the  least  reliable 
of  advisers.  The  only  way  to  silence  Lord  Haldane 
is  to  get  a  bit  in  his  mouth  and  set  him  to  hard  work. 
We  have  turned  him  loose  in  a  forty-acre  field,  and 
he  tires  the  very  echo. 

It  is  a  nuisance,  to  put  it  no  higher,  to  have  Lord 
Haldane  advocating  schemes  of  education  that  shall 
be  wholly  German,  and  yet  have  no  Germanizing 
tendency;  to  have  him  holding  out  to  our  working 
men,  who  know  at  least  what  they  don't  want,  ideals 
founded  on  Kartel  and  Kultur  models:  to  have  him 


202  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 


lauding  the  German  talent  for  "  self-organization," 
though  a  little  "  clear  thinking  "  might  show  that 
the  war  itself  is  the  result  of  the  utter  incapacity  of 
the  German  tribes  to  manage  their  own  affairs.  It 
is  merely  irritating  to  hear  from  him,  after  some  new 
exhibition  of  brutality,  that  the  German  nation, 
"  taken  in  the  mass,"  is  "  very  like  our  own."  But  all 
this  is  only  part  of  the  price  we  pay  for  not  providing 
Lord  Haldane  with  a  concrete  job,  hard  enough  to 
make  him  forget  Gottingen. 

The  country  does  not  want  Lord  Haldane 's  ideas. 
It  rightly  suspects  him  as  a  guide.  But  it  might 
have  done  with  him  as  a  workman.  It  has  gone 
farther,  and  fared  much  worse. 


LORD   BURNHAM  AND  THE 
"  DAILY  TELEGRAPH  " 

The  first  Lord  Burnham  belonged  to  the  earliest  crop 
of  newspaper-owning  peers,  and  his  son  wears  the 
fifteen-year-old  coronet  with  the  easy  grace  of  a  man 
of  pedigree.  An  intelligent  foreigner  might  confuse 
him  with  the  quite  new  nobility.  Lord  Burnham 
himself  makes  no  such  mistake.  He  is  affable  with 
new  arrivals  in  the  House  of  Lords ;  he  is  affable  with 
everybody.  But  he  draws  a  sharp  line  of  distinction 
between  Edwardian  and  later  creations.  He  was 
greatly  apprehensive  of  an  "  adulteration  "  of  the 
peerage  in  the  unhappy  Veto  days,  and  he  had 
decided  views  on  the  sale  of  honours.  One  wonders 
what  is  his  real  opinion  of  Lord  Beaverbrook. 

Lord  Burnham 's  father  had  the  honest  pride  of 
the  arrived.  There  was  something  touching  in  his 
affection  for  the  great  newspaper  he  had  created. 
Highly  creditable,  too,  was  the  interest  he  took  in 
the  men  who  had  helped  him  build  his  immense 
fortune.  Fame,  it  is  true,  they  were  denied.  The 
Daily  Telegraph  has  had  no  "  great  editor,"  like  the 
Times  and  the  Standard.  The  Levy  family  jealously 
guarded  their  authority;  they  permitted  no  Mayor 
of  the  Palace.  The  patriarch  of  Peterborough  Court 
showed  every  favour  to  his  Eliezers.  But  Eliezer 
had  to  recognize  his  place ;  he  was  bondservant  to  the 
family,  to  young  Isaac  as  well  as  to  old  Abraham. 

The  Daily  Telegraph  has  thus  been  in  an  excep- 
tional degree  the  reflection  of  a  single  personality. 
The  first  Lord  Burnham  was  exactly  fitted  to  supply 

203 


204  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 


a  "  long-felt  want  "  of  the  later  Victorian  time.  The 
man  in  the  street  was  yet  unquoted.  But  the  lower 
middle-class  man  of  the  suburb  and  the  country 
town  was  there,  and  by  no  means  satisfied  either 
with  the  price  or  the  quality  of  daily  papers.  They 
were  too  dear,  and  too  narrow  in  their  outlook. 
Edward  Levy,  afterwards  Edward  Levy  Lawson, 
shrewdly  saw  his  opportunity.  He  gave  the  public 
a  paper  at  the  popular  price  of  one  penny,  and  in  that 
paper  he  printed  what  the  public  wanted.  He  cut 
down  politics,  devoted  great  attention  to  the  Divorce 
Court,  specialized  on  murders,  systematically  re- 
frained from  attacks  on  any  kind  of  religion,  and 
played  up  to  the  growing  taste  for  piquant  writing 
of  a  kind  which  places  no  strain  on  the  intellect. 

Himself  of  no  very  deep  convictions,  cheerful, 
healthy,  shrewd,  content  to  take  the  commonplace 
view  of  any  subject,  judging  men  and  things  from 
the  standpoint  of  material  success  or  failure,  without 
ideals,  but  with  a  great  deal  of  human  sympathy, 
he  was  precisely  the  man  to  cater  for  the  class  which 
believes  itself  to  be  educated.  The  Daily  Telegraph 
had  its  early  vicissitudes.  It  was  more  than  once 
doubtful  whether  it  would  win  through  the  difficulties 
arising  from  an  inadequate  capitalization,  and  quaint 
stories  are  still  told  of  the  weekly  hunt  for  money  to 
pay  wages.  But  once  the  thing  was  well  started 
nothing  could  stop  it. 

The  Porphyrogenitus  is  seldom  quite  equal  to  the 
man  who  has  battled  for  the  purple.  The  present 
Lord  Burnham  had  not  his  father's  advantages.  On 
the  other  hand  he  has  enjoyed  advantages  of  his  own . 
Eton  and  Balliol  gave  him  of  their  best.  He  entered 
the  House  of  Commons  when  he  was  a  mere  boy,  and 
sat  there  intermittently — sometimes  as  a  little  Liberal 
and  sometimes  as  a  little  Conservative — until  he 
went  to  another  place.     He  succeeded  to  power  in 


LORD  BURNHAM  205 

"  the  office  "  when  the  memory  of  early  struggle  was 
very  dim  indeed ;  the  newspaper  was  no  longer  a 
business  adventure,  but  a  family  estate  solid  as,  and 
vastly  more  profitable  than,  the  four  thousand  acres 
on  which  it  was  the  first  Lord  Burnham's  delight  to 
play,  like  Disraeli,  the  part  of  Buckinghamshire  squire. 

Starting  with  such  a  generous  handicap,  Lord 
Burnham,  it  might  be  imagined,  co'ild  have  won 
pretty  well  anything  he  fancied.  Great  political 
preferment  was  open  to  him.  Or  he  could,  if  he 
pleased,  satisfy  a  purer  and  perhaps  more  useful 
ambition.  Assured  of  a  prodigious  income  from  his 
established  success,  he  could  have  done  something 
not  merely  for  English  journalism  but  for  English 
literature.  He  could  have  helped,  by  a  judicious 
and  possibly  not  unprofitable  expenditure,  to  remove 
a  great  reproach.  The  barrenness  of  English  thought 
during  the  last  thirty  years  is  not  accidental.  It 
arises  partly  from  the  conviction  of  British  publishers 
that  no  book  which  is  hard  to  read  will  yield 
a  profit,  and  possibly  even  more  from  the  com- 
plete indifference  of  British  Governments  to  any 
intellectual  considerations.  Even  in  the  humble 
matter  of  translation  our  record  is  deplorable.  It  is 
a  fact  that  before  the  present  war  the  works  of 
Treitschke  could  only  be  studied  in  the  original,  or 
in  a  foreign  medium.  True,  Treitschke  was  not 
inherently  worth  much  notice,  but  in  the  peculiar 
circumstances  it  might  be  thought  that  it  was  some- 
body's business  to  bring  this  dreamer  of  unpleasantly 
practical  dreams  to  the  attention  of  the  people  he 
threatened.  There  is  scarcely  a  limit  to  the  good  a 
thinking  man  with  Lord  Burnham's  ample  means 
could  have  affected  in  half  a  dozen  directions. 

Lord  Burnham,  however,  has  been  content  to 
carry  on.  He  has  not  cut  the  shop.  He  is  greatly 
interested    in    it — as    a    shop.     The    advertisement 


206  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 


columns  of  the  Daily  Telegraph  seem  to  be  his  special 
care.  Paper  shortage  notwithstanding,  the  Blooms- 
bury  boarding-house  can  still  advertise  its  inexpensive 
inclusive  terms,  the  cultivated  family  in  Tooting  can 
still  disclose  its  yearnings  for  the  society  of  a  refined 
paying  guest,  and  the  owner  of  a  smart  governess 
cart  for  which  the  owner  has  no  further  use  owing  to 
the  war  can  still  reach  the  middle-aged  lady  who 
wants  one  to  suit  her  cob  of  14*1.  But  when  we 
turn  to  the  editorial  columns  we  find  little  light  or 
leading.  I  remember  once  going  through  the  file  of 
Galignani's  Messenger  for  the  Hundred  Days.  It 
had  been  very  severe  on  Napoleon  after  the  abdica- 
tion ;  it  was  very  severe  on  him  after  Waterloo ;  but 
during  the  Hundred  Days  its  leading  articles  were 
on  all  kinds  of  queer  things — the  favourite  perfumes 
of  Ninon  de  Lenclos  and  the  wonders  of  the  Alhambra 
— quite  unconnected  with  affairs  in  France. 

The  Daily  Telegraph  for  some  years,  and  especially 
since  the  war,  has  given  the  same  impression  of 
embarrassed  irrelevance.  It  may  consciously  steer  for 
nowhere.  It  certainly  gets  there.  There  are  a  few 
subjects  on  which  it  still  speaks  with  a  certain  voice. 
It  is  all  for  national  unity,  which  it  would  appear  is 
to  be  attained  by  agreeing,  say,  that  Mr.  Hayes  Fisher 
is  indispensable.  It  is  always  ready  to  enlarge 
dithyrambically  on  the  glory  of  France,  or  the  glory 
of  Serbia,  or  the  glory  of  the  British  Navy,  or  any 
kind  of  glory.  It  makes  at  regular  intervals  the 
discovery  that  "  His  Majesty  was  never  nearer  the 
hearts  of  the  people  than  when,"  etc.  But  all  these 
things  get  us  no  forwarder,  nor,  it  must  be  confessed, 
do  the  Daily  Telegraph's  dissections  of  Lord  Lans- 
downe's  contributions  to  its  post-bag. 

It  is,  in  fact,  becoming  inceasingly  difficult  to 
find  what  class  of  man  derives  stimulus  from  Lord 
Burnham's    editorial    direction.     The    paper   is   still 


LORD  BURNHAM  207 

the  oracle  of  the  boarding-houses,  and,  perhaps 
propter  hoc,  is  invariably  the  one  London  journal 
which  the  visiting  foreigner  reads.  By  old  habit,  if 
for  no  better  reason,  a  number  of  suburban  and 
country  families  continue  to  take  it  in.  Even  in 
these  da}'s  of  paper  famine  it  still  has  a  decided 
advantage  in  bulk ;  its  usefulness  for  wrapping  things 
in,  and  putting  under  the  carpets,  recommends  it  to 
economical  households.  But  what  special  kind  of 
intellectual  hunger  it  satisfies  is  less  easy  to  discover. 
The  theatre-goer  has  got  beyond  the  simple  standards 
of  Clement  Scott,  but  the  Daily  Telegraph  has  not. 
Few  serious-minded  men  care  anything  about  the 
kind  of  politics  it  professes.  Its  literary  tastes  are 
too  ingenuous  for  the  new  generation.  Its  facetious 
reporters  fail  to  cheer  with  their  lumbering  gaiety. 
There  is  only  a  languid  echo  of  the  buoyant  vulgarity 
of  its  early  days.  It  was  said  of  the  Bourbons  that 
they  forgot  nothing  and  learned  nothing.  It  may  be 
said  of  the  Daily  Telegraph  that  it  has  learned  little 
and  forgotten  much. 

Still  it  prospers  amazingly.  There  is  often  more 
profit  in  selling  ready-made  and  partly  worn-out 
things  than  in  supplying  a  more  dignified  need. 
Few  trades  are  more  prosperous  than  that  of  the  old 
clothes  dealer  in  a  really  big  way.  The  continued 
commercial  success  of  the  Daily  Telegraph  would 
seem  to  suggest  that  cast-off  ideas  yield  as  handsome 
a  profit  as  cast-off  garments.  The  paper  may  be 
little  more  to  Lord  Burnham  than  a  property,  but  it 
is  a  very  handsome  property.  And,  after  all,  an  old 
clothes  shop  is  a  very  useful  institution.  Mr.  Isaac 
Moses  is  probably  fulfilling  a  more  vital  social  func- 
tion than  many  professed  philanthropists,  and  Lord 
Burnham  may  have  his  uses  in  supplying  those  who  are 
permanently  hard-up  in  an  intellectual  sense.  At  any 
rate,  he  does  uncommonly  well  out  of  the  business. 


MR.  W.  M.  HUGHES 

Thirty-four  years  ago  two  young  men  stood  on 
London  Bridge,  as  Tom  Pinch  and  his  sister  once  did, 
watching  the  boats.  One  of  them  need  not  concern 
us.     The  other  concerns  us  a  good  deal. 

He  had  been  born  some  twenty  years  before  in 
South  Wales,  but  had  lived  nearly  all  his  life  in 
London.  Educated  at  the  Baroness  Burdett-Coutts 
Foundation  School  in  Westminster,  he  knew  the 
greyer  life  of  a  region  in  which  social  contrasts  are 
perhaps  as  violent  as  in  any  part  of  London.  Mr. 
William  Morris  Hughes  has  told  us  that  as  a  lad  he 
was  often  engaged  in  fighting  the  Wesleyan  boys  in 
the  Horseferry  Road,  and  that  he  once  won  a  prize 
for  French:  a  tongue  not  easily  acquired,  it  might  be 
imagined,  in  such  an  institution  as  that  which  served 
him  as  Alma  Mater.  It  may  be  fairly  inferred,  from 
these  facts,  that  young  Hughes  was  quick  and  of  a 
combative  temperament.  Probably  he  had  also  some 
capacity  for  reflection,  and  it  is  easy  to  picture  him 
musing  on  such  monuments  of  the  past  as  West- 
minster Hall,  the  Abbey,  and  Westminster  School,  as 
well  as  on  evidences  of  the  present,  like  the  rookeries 
off  the  Horseferry  Road  and  the  old  Millbank  Prison. 

How  would  London,  as  he  saw  it,  strike  the  sharp 
Welsh  lad,  with  all  sorts  of  vague  ambitions  stirring 
within  him  ?  For  him  all  the  higher  things  would 
be  represented  by  stone.  The  Abbey  would  stand  for 
a  petrified  religion;  Westminster  Hall  would  typify 
the  sterile  antiquities  of  an  obsolete  constitution; 
Westminster  School  would  remind  him  that  such  as 
he  could  expect  nothing  from  what  was  once  specially 

208 


MR.  W.  M.  HUGHES  209 

designed  for  his  like.  Here  were  clergy  with  their 
antique  prayer  mills,  politicians  with  their  hoary 
platitudes,  schoolmasters  with  their  scraps  of  Latin 
and  Greek  syntax,  and  good  form  and  the  other 
things  that  go  to  make  a  gentleman — all  entirely 
oblivious  of  the  real  needs  of  the  living  London  and 
the  living  England.  And  there  were  the  packed 
slums  in  which  every  vice  grew  rank  and  every  virtue 
took  some  distorted  form.  That  was  what  lay  behind 
the  lad  as  he  looked  over  the  bridge. 

Before  young  Hughes  lay  the  water  path  to 
"the  Colonies,"  what  are  now  called,  in  a  politely 
embarrassed  way,  the  Oversea  States.  In  England, 
apart  from  some  unusual  luck  or  very  adroit 
dishonesty,  he  could  hope  for  nothing  more  than 
a  living;  in  the  Colonies  there  was  slightly  more 
chance  of  going  under,  but  considerably  more  chance 
of  coming  to  the  top.  Hughes  and  his  friend,  looking 
at  the  steamboats,  suddenly  decided  to  take  one. 
They  packed  up  and  went  to  Australia.  There 
followed  the  usual  confused  attempts  to  fashion 
something  tolerable  out  of  the  void.  Hughes  tended 
stock,  took  jobs  on  coasting  craft,  did  a  little  mining, 
did  a  little  of  everything,  until  he  found  his  niche  as 
trade  union  official,  agitator,  Labour  Member,  and 
the  rest  of  it.  His  early  combativeness  developed. 
Instead  of  fighting  Wesleyans,  he  attacked  mono- 
polists. His  talent  for  picking  up  information  grew 
with  enlarged  circumstances.  He  picked  up  law  as 
he  had  picked  up  French,  became  a  barrister,  and 
acquired  a  good  grip  of  Australian  public  questions. 
Ten  years  only  had  elapsed  from  the  Hughes  Hegira 
before  he  had  reached  the  position  of  a  prominent 
member  of  the  New  South  Wales  Parliament.  When 
Australian  unity  became  a  fact,  he  was  among  the 
first  elected  to  the  Commonwealth  Legislature. 


210  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

That  is  how  "  the  Colonies  "  take  hold  of  our  sur- 
plus raw  material,  and  work  it  up  for  their  own  pur- 
poses. Or,  rather,  that  is  how,  in  a  free  atmosphere, 
men  of  talent  grow  in  the  measure  of  their  capacities, 
their  virtues,  and  it  may  be  of  their  vices.  It  would 
be  pleasant  to  leave  Mr.  Hughes  arrived  at  a  deserved 
eminence,  a  man  to  adorn  any  Colonial  tale,  and  to 
point  the  moral  of  the  losses  we  suffer  by  the  emigra- 
tion of  discouraged  young  ambition.  Unfortunately, 
events  have  conspired  to  make  it  impossible  to  con- 
sider the  Prime  Minister  of  Australia  solely  in  the 
Smiles  spirit,  as  a  bright  example  of  self-help.  He 
has  partly  been  forced,  but  has  also  partly  chosen, 
to  come  into  violent  contact  with  things  not  purely 
Australian,  and  it  is  that  part  of  his  activities  which 
is  necessarily  more  vividly  impressed  upon  us  than 
his  wholly  admirable  record  in  the  Antipodes. 

In    1915    Mr.    Hughes    visited    this    country.     He 
knew  very  little  of  English  life,  but  he  had  his  early 
memories,  which  sufficed  to  give  him  a  just  contempt 
for  many  of  our  institutions,  but  also  a  most  unjust 
notion  of  the  real  qualities  of  the  nation.     He  either 
did  not  know,  or  had  forgotten,  that  our  old  and 
polished    society   breeds   in   great   numbers   persons 
who  are  described  by  the  police  as  confidence  men. 
Scotland  Yard  takes  cognisance  only  of  the  coarser 
varieties  of  the  class.     It  affects  to  know  nothing  of 
those  who  infest  political  society,  lying  in  wait  for 
innocents   from   overseas   and    the   provinces.      Mr. 
Hughes's  first  speech  had  much  the  same  effect  on 
these    gentlemen    that    the    appearance    of   a    stout 
Suffolk  farmer  might  on  a  roomful  of  professional 
"  crooks."     He  found  himself  surrounded  with  per- 
sons flashing  great  wads  of  Bank  of  Patriotism  notes, 
which  he,  poor  man  !  could    not  possibly  detect  as 
spurious.     Before  honest  Mr.  Hughes  well  knew  what 


MR.  W.  M.  HUGHES  211 

he  was  doing,  he  was  hocussed,  and  he  has  not  yet 
succeeded  in  throwing  off  the  influence  of  the  drugs. 

It  suited  the  political  purposes  of  a  certain  clique 
to  represent  Mr.  Hughes  as  the  one  earnest  man 
struggling  to  free  the  British  Commonwealth  from 
German  influences,  but  frustrated  in  that  endeavour 
by  a  knot  of  English  party  politicians.  Broadly 
speaking,  this  clique,  of  all  others,  was  most  natu- 
rally hostile  to  every  ideal  Mr.  Hughes  stood  for  in 
Australian  politics.  It  desired  Protection  in  the 
interests  of  British  landlords  and  manufacturers,  and 
not,  as  in  Australia's  case,  in  the  interests  of  the 
workers.  It  stood  for  a  kind  of  Imperialism  which, 
in  the  long  run,  must  have  come  into  collision  with 
the  quite  natural  desire  of  Australia  to  become  more 
and  more  a  distinct  nation.  It  stood  for  minority 
rule  both  in  Great  Britain  and  in  Ireland.  It  had 
been,  as  much  as  any  party — there  is  really  little 
degree  of  guilt — responsible  for  the  stagnation  which 
young  Hughes  of  the  Horseferry  Road  had  found 
intolerable.  But  it  found  in  the  fervour  of  the 
maturer  Hughes  a  weapon  which  it  could  use,  and 
that  weapon  was  used  without  scruple. 

Mr.  Hughes  as  an  Australian  statesman  must  be 
left  to  the  judgment  of  Australia.  Australia  has 
declined  twice  to  pass  a  mandate  for  conscription  at 
his  invitation — some  add  because  of  his  invitation — 
and  it  is  whispered  with  some  assurance  that  the 
Prime  Minister  is  not  precisely  anxious  to  terminate 
his  present  visit  to  London.  It  is  pointed  out  by 
Australian  critics  that  the  great  work  which  he 
claims  credit  for,  "  cutting  the  tentacles  of  the  great 
metal  octopus,"  etc.,  was  merely  a  matter  of  official 
routine ;  contracts  with  German  firms  had  necessarily 
to  be  broken  when  war  came.  There  is,  in  fact,  no 
evidence   from   the    Antipodes   that   Mr.   Hughes   is 


212  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

regarded  as  a  man  of  very  exceptional  calibre,  and 
it  is  pretty  well  known  that  he  retains  office  chiefly 
because  it  is  undesirable  to  complicate  the  political 
position. 

Still,  Mr.  Hughes  is  an  Australian,  and  Australia 
would  no  doubt  be  with  him  in  any  serious  collision 
with  British  opinion.  It  is  that  possibility  which 
makes  so  exceedingly  serious  the  transformation  of  a 
Dominion  Prime  Minister  into  a  British  party  asset. 
The  formal  relations  of  Australia,  or  any  other 
Dominion,  to  the  Mother  Country,  are  of  less  import- 
ance than  many  people  imagine.  It  really  does  not 
matter  very  much  whether  we  continue  to  send 
second-rate  noblemen  to  represent  the  King  in  the 
Commonwealth.  What  does  matter  is  that  there 
shall  be  no  sense  of  grievance  or  incompatibility 
between  the  two  communities,  that  Australia  shall 
have  no  feeling  of  being  used  by  Britain,  and  that 
Britain  shall  be  free  from  any  impression  of  being 
bustled  or  hustled  by  Australia. 

It  would  be  unfair  to  accuse  Mr.  Hughes  of  con- 
sciously imperilling  a  good  understanding.  He  has 
"  butted  in,"  to  adopt  Mr.  Lloyd  George's  Ameri- 
canism, with  the  best  intentions.  He  believes  "  but- 
ting in  "  is  really  appreciated  by  the  mass  of  people 
in  this  country.  He  is,  indeed,  a  man  singularly 
ingenuous.  He  does  not  seem  to  have  suspected  in 
the  least  the  very  suspicious  people  who  have  "  run  " 
him  in  London;  he  does  not  appear  even  to  be  con- 
scious of  being  "  run."  He  has  a  good  many  points 
in  common  with  our  own  Prime  Minister.  He  makes 
it  a  rule  never  to  see  more  than  one  side  of  a  case 
at  a  time,  though  he  may  see  all  sides  in  turn.  He 
is  more  the  slave  than  the  master  of  his  own  rhetoric. 
His  eloquence  has  not  the  same  poetic  quality  as 
Mr.  Lloyd  George's;  he  lacks  the  unerring  instinct 


MR.  W.  M.  HUGHES  218 

for  effect  which  make  even  Mr.  George's  most  com- 
monplace efforts  distinctive.  He  seldom  coins  a 
phrase;  his  figures  come  from  the  till  and  not  from 
the  mint,  and  mainly  belong  to  the  copper  currency. 
But  he  has  something  of  the  same  power  of  reaching 
the  ordinary  man,  and  not  a  little  of  the  same  habit 
of  intoxicating  himself  as  well  as  his  audience. 

Such  a  man  may  be  useful  if  his  energies  "are  pro- 
perly controlled  and  applied  to  a  suitable  objective. 
He  may  easily  become  a  calamitous  nuisance  if  he 
runs  amuck,  and  Mr.  Hughes  has,  in  fact,  rather  run 
amuck  during  both  his  visits  to  Great  Britain.  It 
cannot  be  a  good  thing  to  permit  any  considerable 
party  in  the  United  Kingdom  to  believe  that  they  have 
a  determined  enemy  in  the  Prime  Minister  of  an 
Overseas  Dominion.  Nor  can  it  be  for  the  benefit  of 
the  Alliance  as  a  whole  that  Mr.  Hughes  should 
declaim  at  this  time  a  Monroe  Doctrine  for  the 
Pacific.  Strangely  enough,  the  world  at  large  is  no 
more  interested  in  the  special  Australian  point  of 
view  than  it  is  in  the  special  Montenegrin  point  of 
view.  We  cannot  blame  Mr.  Hughes  for  failing  to 
see  things  in  their  exact  proportion ;  there  were 
British  propagandists  who  once  believed  that  France 
and  Russia,  Italy  and  the  United  States,  were  enor- 
mously interested  in  the  bombing  of  Broadstairs 
and  the  shelling  of  Hartlepool. 

But  it  is  a  fact  that  the  world  thinks  very  little  of 
New  Guinea  and  Samoa,  and  a  great  deal  about  the 
avoidance  of  further  dispute  about  such  trifles  as 
Samoa  and  New  Guinea.  Monroe  Doctrines  of  any 
kind  belong,  like  spheres  of  influence  and  places  in  the 
sun,  to  the  old  world  which  has  perished  in  this  war. 
Mr.  Hughes,  with  all  his  progressive  notions,  seems 
too  old-fashioned  even  to  conceive  what  the  new 
world  must  be  if  it  is  to  be  a  world  worth  living  in. 


214  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

The  idea  behind  the  League  of  Nations  is,  indeed, 
still  generally  misunderstood.  That  League  does  not 
threaten  German  Imperialism  alone,  but  all  Im- 
perialisms. If  it  aimed  simply  at  fixing  for  ever  the 
status  arrived  at  after  the  war  it  would  be  only 
another  Holy  Alliance,  an  instrument  of  oppression 
which  could  as  easily  be  used  for  purposes  of  indus- 
trial slavery  as  for  the  destruction  of  nationalism. 
It  would  seem  that  Mr.  Hughes  envisages  a  world  in 
which  what  is  called  Anglo-Saxondom  will  be  all- 
powerful.  That  may  be  very  pleasing  to  "  Anglo- 
Saxon  "  racial  pride.  Have  we  the  smallest  guarantee 
that  the  rest  of  the  world — a  not  inconsiderable 
fragment — will  be  content  ? 

The  Pacific  Monroe  Doctrine  will  be  useless  if  the 
new  order  comes.  If  that  vision  fails  to  materialize 
the  Pacific  Monroe  Doctrine  will  have,  like  many 
more  important  questions,  to  be  the  subject  of  much 
huxtering  on  the  old  plan.  In  any  case,  insistence 
on  it  at  the  present  moment  can  be  of  no  possible 
benefit  and  may  be  a  real  disadvantage.  It  would, 
of  course,  be  calamitous  to  suggest  to  the  Dominions 
that  their  sacrifices  will  not  entitle  them  to  a  voice, 
and  a  powerful  one,  in  the  settlement.  It  is  equally 
out  of  the  question  that  the  demands  of  France,  Italy, 
and  Belgium  shall  be  passed  over.  But  just  as  there 
is  unwisdom  in  wrangling  over  Continental  claims  in 
the  presence  of  an  enemy  watching  for  any  oppor- 
tunity to  create  divisions  among  the  Allies,  so  there 
is  a  very  practical  inconvenience  in  the  shouted 
discussion  of  those  details  which  Mr.  Hughes  has 
naturally  so  much  at  heart. 

Let  us  win  the  war,  and  all  these  things — or  things 
much  better — will  be  added  to  us.  But  the  main 
aim  will  not  be  advanced  by  a  furious  quarrel  between 
one  of  the  British  political  parties  and  the  Premier 


MR.  W.  M.  HUGHES  215 

of  the  Australian  Commonwealth.  That  is  why  many 
people  who  have  sympathy  and  admiration  for  Mr. 
Hughes  entertain  misgivings  which  they  hardly  dare 
express.  For  the  position  is  not  a  little  awkward. 
It  is  never  pleasant  to  give  a  hint  to  a  guest,  and 
there  is  here  the  added  danger  that  it  might  be 
construed  into  an  affront  to  a  nation. 


SIR  AUCKLAND  GEDDES 

There  are  some  Ministers  who  are  distrusted  chiefly 
because  they  are  known,  and  others  who  are  little 
known  and  much  trusted.  To  the  latter  fortunate 
category  Sir  Auckland  Geddes  belonged  until  quite 
recently. 

The  Geddes  myth  is  a  curious  example  of  the 
growth  of  legend  in  an  age  when  ninety-nine  people 
out  of  a  hundred  must  base  their  impressions  on 
printed  matter.  The  general  public  is  quite  without 
means  of  estimating  the  true  merits  of  the  Geddes 
brothers.  It  knows,  on  the  whole,  about  as  much 
about  them  as  of  Hengist  and  Horsa.  Yet  for  months 
it  went  on  chanting  with  Islamic  simplicity,  "  Brainy 
is  Eric,  and  Auckland  is  his  brother."  No  doubt  the 
legend  has  some  foundation  in  fact.  There  are  some, 
in  the  War  Cabinet  or  elsewhere,  who  do  actually 
know  how  far  Sir  Eric  Geddes  is  an  inspired  First 
Lord,  and  in  what  degree  Sir  Auckland  Geddes  has 
succeeded  as  Minister  of  National  Service.  But  the 
million  to  whom  the  efficiency  of  the  Geddes  brothers 
was  an  article  of  faith  were,  like  the  Athenians  of  old, 
performing  an  act  of  worship  to  an  unknown  god. 

The  case  of  our  present  subject  is  more  remarkable 
than  that  of  Sir  Eric,  who  was  obviously  an  excellent 
railwayman  if  nothing  else.  In  the  earlier  career  of 
Sir  Auckland  Geddes  we  search  in  vain  for  am-' 
illumination.  Those  biographers  who  are  always 
ready  to  discern  evidence  of  precocious  talent  in  men 
who  arrive  have,  of  course,  done  their  best  in  his 
case.     We  are  told  that  young  Geddes 's  speeches  at 

216 


SIR  AUCKLAND  GEDDES  217 

the  Edinburgh  Union  left  an  abiding  impression  on 
all  who  heard  them.  He  enchanted  his  friends  with 
his  acute  comments  on  men  and  things.  There  was 
something  in  his  long,  gaunt  face  men  could  never 
forget.  His  "  keen  eyes,"  we  are  told,  as  if  it  were 
something  to  admire,  "  flashed  from  cavernous  hol- 
lows at  every  passing  stranger."  As  a  strong  Tory, 
he  was  a  terrible  antagonist  for  Mr.  Hogge,  now 
M.P.,  who  led  the  Liberals.  It  seemed  to  his  ad- 
miring intimates  that  he  had  only  to  choose  from 
a  dozen  brilliant  careers.  He  might  even  become  a 
Sherlock  Holmes  of  real  life.  But  all  this  youthful 
prestige  did  not  save  him  from  settling  down  into 
a  mild  assistant  anatomical  demonstrator. 

After  some  years  of  humdrum,  broken  by  service 
in  South  Africa,  Geddes  went  to  Canada  as  a  Pro- 
fessor of  Anatomy  in  the  McGill  University.  This 
not  specially  adventurous  enterprise  is  described  as 
"  obeying  the  call  of  the  wild  " — Montreal  being  a 
notoriously  unsettled  place.  There  was  a  slightly 
higher  salary  and  increased  social  position,  but  the 
post  was  quite  in  keeping  with  the  mediocrity  that 
had  preceded  it.  In  fact,  the  cold,  inexorable  truth 
is  that  if  Geddes  were  an  extraordinary  man,  his 
career  was,  until  the  outbreak  of  war,  about  as  far 
from  extraordinary  as  could  well  be.  There  is  not, 
and  never  was,  a  lack  of  young  men  combining  an 
average  professional  knowledge  with  a  apacity  of 
making  debating  society  speeches  and  impressing 
their  friends  as  deep  thinkers. 

At  the  beginning  of  the  war  Auckland  Geddes,  like 
many  others,  enlisted  as  a  private,  and  quickly  rose 
to  commissioned  rank.  Then  occurred  a  series  of 
accidents  which  brought  him  amazingly  rapid  pro- 
motion. In  191 5  he  was  at  General  Headquarters 
"  doing  casualties."     It  was  a  complicated  business, 


218  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 


as  the  Army  then  did  it,  but  not  inherently  more 
troublesome  than  the  arrangements  by  which  the 
headquarters  of  a  teashop  business  keeps  in  touch 
with  the  requirements  of  its  branches.  Auckland 
Geddes,  bringing  a  new  mind  to  the  problem,  sug- 
gested simplifications  which  commended  themselves 
to  his  superiors.  The  British  military  mind  knows 
no  half-measures.  It  either  breaks  a  man  for  showing 
intelligence,  or  reverences  him  as  a  prodigy.  Geddes 
had  luck.  Instead  of  being  snubbed,  he  was  made  a 
Major  and  put  in  charge  of  the  casualties  department. 

That  brought  him  in  direct  contact  with  Lord 
Derby,  who  was  then  in  the  midst  of  his  recruiting 
campaign,  and  desired  accurate  information  regarding 
the  wastage  of  war.  It  is  easy  to  understand  how 
greatly  the  noble  Earl  was  impressed  by  the  clarity 
of  Major  Geddes 's  intellect.  The  two  men  were 
obviously  made  for  each  other.  On  the  one  hand  was 
Lord  Derby,  with  sixty  thousand  acres  and  a  slightly 
flustered  understanding;  on  the  other,  Major  Geddes, 
with  twopence-halfpenny  and  an  uncanny  knowledge 
of  all  sorts  of  mysterious  things ;  he  probably  even 
understood  logarithms.  Why  was  such  a  man  wasted 
in  France  ?  Lord  Derby,  perhaps  with  no  unselfish 
view,  took  immediate  steps  to  secure  the  paragon, 
and  Auckland  Geddes  started  on  the  higher  plane  as 
Assistant  Recruiter-General,  and,  in  unofficial  lan- 
guage, as  Lord  Derby's  headpiece. 

He  marched  steadily  from  triumph  to  triumph. 
He  "  did  well,"  as  the  phrase  goes,  as  Assistant;  he 
"  did  well  "  as  Director-General;  he  "  did  well  "  when 
set  to  reorganize  the  National  Service  Department, 
where  poor  Mr.  Neville  Chamberlain  had  "  done  "  so 
badly.  It  is  easier  to  ask  than  to  define  in  what 
"  doing  well  "  consists.  It  seems  probable,  however, 
that  Sir  Auckland  Geddes  does  really  possess  what, 


SIR  AUCKLAND  GEDDES  219 

compared  with  the  organ  of  the  average  soldier, 
politician,  and  business  man,  is  an  orderly  mind.  He 
knows  how  to  use  his  own  intelligence  and,  what  is 
more  important,  the  intelligence  of  his  subordinates. 
He  does  not  altogether  lose  himself  in  an  infinity  of 
detail.  He  has  that  saving  touch  of  indolence  which, 
in  association  with  brains  and  a  capacity  for  concen- 
trated effort  on  occasion,  helps  a  man  of  affairs  to 
master  his  job,  instead  of  becoming  its  slave.  His 
set  speeches,  of  course,  prove  nothing.  These  things 
do  not  emerge,  in  a  sort  of  Minerva-birth,  from  the 
brain  of  a  Front  Bench  Jove,  but  are  the  work  of  a 
whole  department  licked  into  shape  by  one  of  the 
brighter  members  of  the  great  Barnacle  family.  But 
there  is  a  certain  quality  in  all  his  utterances  which 
suggests  that  he  has  the  gift  of  getting  to  the  heart 
of  the  matter.  One  feels  instinctively  that  when  he 
confuses  an  issue  the  fault  is  not  with  his  brain. 

It  has  been  mentioned  that  Sir  Auckland's  chief 
business  in  the  Army  was  to  deal  with  casualties;  in 
other  words,  with  dead  or  partly  dead  men.  His 
business  in  professional  life  was  anatomy,  also  con- 
cerned with  things  dead  or  doomed.  The  habit  of 
years  is  not  easily  broken,  and  the  chief  reason  why 
Sir  Auckland,  after  many  months  of  constantly 
ascending  reputation,  began  to  accumulate  unpopu- 
larity appears  to  be  that,  in  his  new  office,  he  dealt 
with  living  men  rather  in  the  spirit  in  which  he  totalled 
up  corpses  in  the  Adjutant-General's  Department,  or 
dissected  "  subjects  "  in  Edinburgh  and  Montreal. 
In  addition  to  the  insensitive  imagination  of  youth 
and  the  callousness  of  the  soldier,  there  is  the 
adamantine  hardness  of  a  certain  professorial  type. 
His  lack  of  sympathy  is  rather  phenomenal,  and,  to 
do  him  justice,  he  does  not  assume  the  pose  of 
humanity.     Under  him  the  National  Service  Depart- 


220  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 


ment  has  worked  with  the  smoothness  of  a  machine, 
but  also  with  its  undiscriminating  ruthlessness.  He 
sees  no  disadvantage  in  using  mahogany  for  packing- 
cases,  employing  razors  to  chop  wood,  or  upsetting 
the  whole  structure  of  society  in  order  to  get  a  few 
extra  thousands  of  invalid  recruits.  He  admits  no 
hardship.  "  Look  at  me,"  he  says,  in  effect,  when 
criticized,  "  I  have  suffered  all  for  my  country;  I 
gave  up  my  comfortable  appointment,  served  as  a 
private,  and  supported  injuries  which  unfit  me  for 
further  military  service.  The  case  of  a  father  of  ten 
is  hard,  no  doubt,  but  then  war  is  a  hard  business." 
Unfortunately  he  has  not  always  helped  to  make  it 
less  hard.  There  is  no  record,  for  example,  of  his 
interfering  to  check  the  unfeeling  levity  with  which 
National  Service  representatives  have  often  jeered  at 
unfortunate  men  before  the  tribunals.  What  does 
it  matter  about  people's  feelings  ?  The  main  thing 
is  to  get  the  men ;  whether  a  man  goes  into  the  Army 
sadly  but  with  resignation,  or  whether  he  goes  in 
embittered  by  a  sense  of  insult  and  injustice,  is  of  less 
moment. 

But  the  main  count  against  Sir  Auckland  Geddes  is 
more  serious  than  that  of  insensibility.  "He  is  a 
beast,  but  he  is  a  just  beast,"  said  the  schoolboy  of 
the  master  who  flogged  him.  In  the  case  of  the 
higher  age  men,  on  which  Sir  Auckland  came  in 
conflict  with  public  opinion,  the  complaint  was  not 
so  much  of  severity  as  of  injustice.  The  Act  was 
passed  on  a  definite  understanding  which  was  after- 
wards ignored.  Sir  Auckland  Geddes,  taxed  with 
the  matter,  faced  his  critics  with  a  hauteur  to  which 
men  of  the  calibre  of  some  of  them  were  not  accus- 
tomed. It  was  unfortunate  for  the  Geddes  myth 
that  he  took  this  course.  No  people  is  so  tolerant 
of  incapacity,  or  even  of  dishonesty,    s  the  English. 


SIR  AUCKLAND  GEDDES  221 

They  bear  with  astonishing  patience  the  revelation  of 
supreme  imbecility  in  their  rulers.  They  make  the 
most  liberal  allowance  for  unredeemed  pledges,  and 
are  always  ready  to  listen  indulgently  to  a  "  personal 
explanation,"  even  though  it  is  merely  a  confession 
of  what  is  now  called  "  indelicate  "  conduct.  But 
they  do  not  like  being  bullied,  and  Sir  Auckland 
Geddes,  in  an  evil  hour  for  his  repute,  decided  to 
bully. 

With  that  the  myth  came  to  an  end.  It  could 
not  survive  the  apology  which  Sir  Auckland  was 
forced  to  make  to  Sir  Donald  Maclean,  or  rather  to 
what  Sir  Donald  Maclean  courageously  and  eloquently 
represented — the  outraged  sense  of  justice  of  the 
English  people.  Sir  Auckland  Geddes  may,  if  he  is 
wise,  still  occupy  a  position  of  influence  and  public 
usefulness ;  but  he  is  evidently  obsolete  in  the  capacity 
of  superman.  He  will  in  future  have  to  justify  his 
policy  and  account  for  his  undertakings  in  the  usual 
way,  instead  of  relying  on  the  brilliance  of  a  career 
in  regard  to  which  it  is  still  difficult  to  apportion 
exactly  the  elements  of  merit  and  good  fortune. 


MR.  H.  A.  L.  FISHER 

When  Mr.  Lloyd  George  formed  his  "  Business 
Government  "  there  was  one  appointment,  and  per- 
haps one  only,  which  offended  nobody  and  pleased  all 
who  thought  they  understood  its  meaning  and  inten- 
tion. It  was  that  of  Mr.  Herbert  Albert  Laurens 
Fisher,  Vice-Chancellor  of  Sheffield  University,  as 
Minister  of  Education. 

Undeniably  this  was  the  happiest  of  the  "  expert  " 
appointments.  Mr.  Fisher  suffered  none  of  the  handi- 
caps of  the  ordinary  "  practical  "  man  suddenly 
called  on  to  save  his  country.  He  had  no  deep- 
seated  anti-social  instinct  to  overcome.  He  had 
never  known  what  it  was  to  grind  an  axe.  He  could 
be  suspected  of  no  mean  personal  ambitions.  He 
knew  his  business  very  much  better  than  the  swollen 
millionaire  generally  knows  the  trade  which  }delds 
his  wealth,  but  not  the  faintest  suspicion  of  selfish 
interest  could  attach  to  him.  Besides,  it  was  quite 
without  precedent  that  an  Education  Minister  should 
know  aught  about  education.  Ever  since  there  had 
been  an  Education  Department  it  had  been  the  refuge 
either  of  the  dullest  or  the  least  influential  of  party 
men.  Sometimes  it  was  the  reward  of  an  excessively 
stupid  person  with  "  claims."  Occasionally  it  was 
given  to  a  rattling  platform  speaker,  not  considered 
worth  the  higher  dignity  of  five  thousand  a  year. 
Now  and  again  it  was  used  to  provide  a  place  for 
some  silent  and  diffident  man  who  happened  to  be  a 
useful  intellectual  asset  to  a  showy  but  very  unsound 
team.     Mr.  Lloyd  George,  with  his  instinct  for  effect, 

222 


MR.  H.  A.  L.  FISHER  223 


saw  the  advantage  of  making  a  break  from  tradition 
in  this  office  of  all  others.  With  all  his  apparent 
defiance  of  convention,  he  was  under  irresistible  com- 
pulsion to  placate  the  Quirites  while  tickling  the  ears 
of  the  Plebs.  In  focussing  attention  on  Mr.  Fisher 
he  made  people  forget  Lord  Derby. 

Mr.  Fisher's  comparative  youth — he  is  still  only 
fifty-three — was  not  his  least  recommendation.      He 
had  escaped  the  worst  effects  of  the  "  Teutonic  "  epi- 
demic of  Victorian  days.     If  he  once  had  spiritual 
lodgings  at  Gottingen,  he  did  not,  like  Lord  Haldane, 
look  back  on  them  as  his  home.     His  German  culture 
struck  no  deeper  than    that   which   he  imbibed   in 
Paris.     He  returned  to  England,  indeed,  with  a  saner 
view  of  European  things  than  that  of  almost  any 
scholar  of  his  time.     There  is  no  trace  of  German 
pedantry  in  his  admirable  studies  of  the  Napoleonic 
period    and     his    Republican    Tradition    in    Europe. 
The  triumph  of  the  pickelhaube  in  1870  was  distant 
enough  not  to  disturb  a  judgment  which,  left  to  itself, 
was  sound.     He  did  not  share  the  belief,  so  common 
among  intelligent  Englishmen  a  little  before  his  day, 
and  almost  universal  among  stupid  Englishmen  till 
quite  lately,  that  the  country  of  Turenne  does  not 
know  how  to  fight  or  the  country  of  Richelieu  how 
to  rule.     In  a  word,  fiw  British  scholars  were  freer 
from  that  intellectual  snobbery  which  allowed  the 
accident   of  a  political  and  dynastic  connection  to 
colour  its  whole  scheme  of  thought.    Mr.  Fisher  had 
shown  himself  a  Liberal  in  the  true  sense,  both  in  his 
general  outlook  on   affairs   and   in   his   own  special 
province.     His  own  mind  enriched  with  the  best  that 
Winchester  and  Oxford  could  give  him,  he  had  a  far 
livelier  sense  of  modern  needs  than  most  representa- 
tives  of  the  older  culture,  and   had  shown  an  en- 
thusiasm for  general  education  in  pleasing  contrast 


224  UNCEN80RED  CELEBRITIES 

with  the  grudging  and  monopolistic  spirit  that  still 
distinguishes  the  Universities  and  public  schools, 
which  the  rich  long  ago  captured  from  the  poor. 

These  positive  recommendations,  and  the  important 
negative  one  of  being  free  from  sectarian  bitterness, 
caused  the  few  disinterested  enthusiasts  for  education 
in  this  country  to  believe  that  the  time  had  come,  and 
also  the  man.  We  might,  under  the  wise  rule  of  Mr. 
Fisher,  actually  become  an  educated  people;  there 
was  hope  even  for  the  upper  classes.  And,  above  all, 
the  education  might  possibly  have  a  real  national 
flavour.  We  might  give  up  the  idea  of  fighting 
Germany  with  her  own  weapons,  and  set  up  an  intel- 
lectual Essen  of  our  own.  People  who  remembered 
with  a  blush  that,  apart  from  Darwin,  a  physicist  or 
two,  a  few  economists,  and  the  mechanicians,  all 
British  thought  during  the  last  hundred  and  fifty 
years  had  been  borrowed  from  Germany  began  to 
hope  for  a  revival  of  the  great  tradition  of  the  seven- 
teenth century,  when  the  Continent  turned  in  rever- 
ence to  a  brilliant  succession  of  British  philosophers. 

One  fear  mingled  with  these  hopes.  It  was  that 
Mr.  Fisher,  with  all  his  knowledge  and  enthusiasm, 
might  fail  through  unfamiliarity  with  the  ways  of  the 
House  of  Commons.  It  is  curious  that,  while  quite 
legitimate  expectations  have  been  somewhat  dis- 
appointed, this  equally  rational  misgiving  has  proved 
even  more  illusory.  Mr.  Fisher  proved  from  the  first 
a  natural  master  of  the  Parliamentary  manner. 
Aided  by  a  handsome  and  winning  presence,  and  a 
style  of  speech  which  impresses  by  its  distinction, 
but  does  not  offend  by  a  too  donnish  quality,  he 
gained  the  ear  of  the  House  of  Commons  in  his 
maiden  effort,  and  has  never  lost  it.  Further,  he 
has  quickly  acquired  the  still  more  difficult  art  of 
"  managing  "  that   curious  assembly.     Mr.  Asquith 


MR.  H.  A.  L.  FISHER  225 


himself  must  have  admired  the  consistent  skill  with 
which  the  former  Oxford  tutor  has  steered  his  craft, 
whether  on  the  swelling  tide  of  a  Second  Reading 
debate  or  through  the  shallows  and  miseries  of 
Committee. 

fThis  might  seem  the  highest  praise  and  the  most 
complete  justification  for  the  Prime  Minister's  choice. 
So  indeed  it  may  be,  from  a  Prime  Minister's  stand- 
point. But  to  the  earnest  outsider  the  matter  pre- 
sents itself  quite  otherwise.  So  far  as  he  has  failed 
in  his  great  task,  Mr.  Fisher's  failure  is  due  to  that 
Parliamentary  tact  on  which  he  has  been  lavishly 
complimented.  He  went  forth  to  fight  with  beasts 
at  Ephesus.  He  ended  by  mastering  the  wild  beasts 
in  something  the  same  sense  that  a  Zoo  attendant  is 
their  lord,  as  a  sort  of  Hagenbeck  who  cannot  quell 
his  man-eaters,  but  only  confines  them  behind  a 
Mappin  terrace.  It  might  be  dexterous;  it  was 
hardly  heroic. 

Mr.  Fisher,  it  will  be  remembered,  started  out  with 
two  main  ideas.  One  was  that  education  should  be 
continuous  to  the  age  of  eighteen,  the  other  that  the 
horrible  system  of  child  labour  should  cease.  Lanca- 
shire, which  has  been  accurately  described  as  the 
Ulster  of  the  education  question,  at  once  mobilized 
against  the  abolition  of  half-time.  But  Lancashire 
expressed  itself  as  reasonable.  It  did  recognize  some 
necessity  for  advance,  and  put  forward  a  counter- 
proposal to  Mr.  Fisher's  original  plan  of  320  hours 
education  a  year  for  boys  and  girls  between  the  ages 
of  fourteen  and  eighteen.  Instead  it  suggested  half- 
time  between  the  ages  of  fourteen  and  sixteen. 

Mr.  Fisher  had  probably  an  opportunity  of  com- 
promising on  somewhat  better  terms  than  these.  At 
any  rate,  he  could  have  closed  with  a  bargain  which 
many  will  think  possessed  certain  advantages  over  his 

15 


226  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

original  idea.  Instead  he  proposed  an  arrangement 
which  not  only  reduced  the  age  limit,  but  reduced  the 
hours  of  instruction  as  well.  It  was  not  a  matter  of 
accepting  half  a  loaf  as  better  than  no  bread,  but  of 
preferring  half  a  loaf  to  three-quarters.  "  We  will 
give  you  half  the  week  up  to  sixteen,"  said  Lan- 
cashire. "  Certainly  not,"  replied  the  Minister  of 
Education,  with  much  severity.  "  For  seven  years 
you  may  have  your  way  as  to  the  age  limit,  and  I  will 
have  my  way  as  to  the  number  of  hours  given  to 
education.  They  shall  not  be  twenty  odd  hours  a 
week,  as  you  propose,  but  only  seven." 

This  singular  proceeding  has  been  represented  as 
dictated  by  anxiety  not  to  give  statutory  sanction  to 
the  principle  of  half-time,  the  said  principle  being 
apparently  more  objectionable  than  the  plain  fact  of 
three-quarters  or  seven-eighths  time.  Tempting  as 
it  is,  one  need  not  stop  to  consider  this  remarkable 
argument.  For  most  education  enthusiasts  the  main 
and  very  unpleasing  fact  was  that  there  had  been  a 
surrender,  and  a  grave  one,  to  vested  interest.  The 
real  interest  of  the  nation  and  its  youth  had  been 
sacrificed  to  the  fancied  interest  of  a  number  of  rich 
men.  One  can  pardon  in  comparison  the  short- 
sighted greed  of  many  poor  parents  who  are  not 
sufficiently  enlightened  to  grasp  the  lesson  which  the 
abounding  prosperity  of  the  United  States  should 
have  taught  them — that  the  broadest  and  surest 
foundations  of  a  nation's  material  well-being  are  the 
mental  and  physical  vigour  of  its  masses. 

The  Bill  made  its  progress  to  the  Statute  Book  over 
the  wreckage  of  most  of  the  hopes  which  Mr.  Fisher's 
appointment  had  created.  He  had  not  mastered 
Parliament.  Parliament  had  subdued  him.  On  the 
whole  it  would  have  been  better  to  have  gone  down 
on  the  field  than  to  have  signed  such  a  capitulation. 


MR.  H.  A.  L.  FISHER  227 

The  moral  would  seem  to  be  that  no  true  reform 
can  be  expected  in  any  direction,  however  honest  and 
able  the  reformer,  until  a  wholly  different  atmosphere 
reigns  at  Westminster.  The  lump  is  not  to  be 
affected  by  a  little  leaven  of  sincere  purpose ;  leaven 
is  for  the  good  bread,  and  this  lump  is  mostly  of  mere 
sawdust,  the  debris  of  all  sorts  of  dead  matter.  Until 
the  elector  insists  on  representatives  who  do  represent, 
all  our  St.  Georges  will  suffer  one  of  two  fates — the 
Dragon  of  sectional  selfishness  will  breakfast  on  them 
if  they  quit  themselves  in  wholly  knightly  and  saintly 
fashion,  or  they  will  end  by  breakfasting  with  the 
Dragon,  who  has  generally  friends  in  the  quarters 
where  breakfasts  are  given.  The  sadder  of  the  two 
fates  seems  to  have  befallen  that  once  very  perfect 
knight,  Mr.  H.  A.  L.  Fisher. 


SIR  MARK  SYKES 

Praed's  observation  that  "  the  Whigs  are  wicked 
knaves,  and  very  like  the  Tories,"  can  only  be  ac- 
cepted with  qualification.  Certainly  there  is  no  very 
vivid  contrast  between  the  rank  and  file  of  both 
great  parties.  Between  the  well-born  cadet,  the  push- 
ing lawyer,  the  astute  company  promoter,  the  honour- 
hungry  tradesman,  and  the  adventurer  of  doubtful 
blood,  who  sit  on  the  Unionist  benches,  and  their 
counterparts  on  whom  the  Liberal  Whip  may  always 
depend,  there  is  no  difference  discernible  by  the 
unaided  senses.  But  there  are  still  men  of  whom  one 
can  say  "  This  is  and  always  will  be  a  Liberal,"  and 
"  No  power  on  earth  can  make  this  man  other  than 
a  Tory." 

Sir  Mark  Sykes  is  a  Tory.  His,  however,  is  not 
just  the  Toryism  that  goes  naturally  with  a  fairly 
old  baronetcy,  a  much  older  gentility,  and  £80,000 
or  so  a  year.  He  would  be  a  Tory  equally  if  he 
were  struggling  at  the  Bar  or  writing  for  his  bread. 
Nor  is  it  that  narrow  and  ungenerous  obstructiveness 
which  has  passed  for  Toryism  since  about  the  time  the 
party  dropped  its  fine  old  name  and  began  to  call  itself 
Conservative.  Still  less  has  it  affinity  with  the 
specific  negation  implied  in  the  modern  "  Unionist  " 
label.  Sir  Mark's  Toryism  is  of  an  older  and  healthier 
school.  Quite  modern  in  appurtenances,  he  belongs 
to  a  very  ancient  company.  He  would  have  been  at 
home  in  the  "  country  party  "  of  Stuart  days,  among 
men  ready  to  die  for  the  King,  but  quite  ready  also 
to  speak  plainly  to  his  Majesty  on  occasion,  equally 

228 


SIR  MARK  SYKES  229 

impatient  of  Dutch  intriguers  and  French  mistresses, 
and  hating  impartially  courtiers  and  professional 
patriots.  Macaulay  has  taught  the  ordinary  English- 
man to  look  on  old  Toryism  as  a  slavish  and  irrational 
creed.  Yet  the  Tory  more  nearly  represented  the 
average  mind  of  Stuart  England  than  did  Somers  or 
Montagu,  and  it  is  not  without  significance  that  even 
to-day  the  working  man,  while  placing  the  mere 
Conservative  and  the  Liberal  on  much  the  same  level, 
often  betrays  a  real  kindness  for  the  honest  "  back- 
woodsman." Lord  Willoughby  de  Broke  will  get  an 
amused  and  even  sympathetic  hearing  from  audiences 
which  would  howl  down  a  more  "  serious  "  politician. 

Sir  Mark  Sykes  is,  of  course,  a  very  different  person 
from  Lord  Willoughby.  Indeed,  he  is  one  of  the  few 
men  on  the  back  benches  of  whom  it  can  be  said  that 
he  arrests  notice  whenever  he  breaks  silence.  He 
combines  a  very  active  and  acute  intelligence  with 
a  considerable  gift  of  expression.  He  has  not  yet 
attained  in  the  spoken  word  that  admirable  style 
which  makes  his  books  of  travel  so  eminently  readable. 
Perhaps  he  has  not  yet  taken  political  speaking  seri- 
ously enough.  But  he  never  degenerates  into  slovenly 
expression  or  loose  periphrasis,  and  when  a  subject 
moves  him  he  rises  to  a  sober  and  impressive  elo- 
quence. He  has,  too,  real  knowledge  of  a  variety  of 
subjects.  His  life  has  been  largely  spent  in  travel, 
and  he  has  far  more  than  the  adventurous  globe- 
trotter's familiarity  with  the  Near  East. 

Nor  is  he,  like  so  many  travelled  Englishmen, 
merely  interested  in  old  savageries  and  brand-new 
civilizations.  It  was  a  common  fault  of  our  young 
plutocrats  that,  while  they  had  hunted  big  game  in 
every  wilderness,  they  knew  no  more  of  Europe  than 
its  big  hotels  and  gambling  houses.  Sir  Mark  Sykes 
has  an  advantage  which  the  English  Roman  Catholic 


230  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

often  possesses  over  the  ordinary  pagan  man  of 
family.  He  has  not  been  allowed  to  forget  that  he  is 
a  European  as  well  as  an  Englishman.  He  had 
imbibed  some  of  the  culture  of  Latin  Europe  before 
he  went  to  Cambridge.  What  precisely  they  taught 
at  Monaco  and  Brussels  we  need  not  enquire,  but  it 
was  obviously  something  that  is  not  learned  at 
Portadown — or  even  at  Trinity  College,  Dublin. 

The  mention  of  Portadown  brings  one  to  the  quarrel 
of  an  English  Tory  with  the  Ulster-ridden  Unionist 
party.  Sir  Mark  Sykes  is  no  Home  Ruler  in  the 
ordinary  sense;  he  is  of  the  new  Federationist  school; 
But  he  recognizes  two  sufficiently  obvious  facts  which 
the  great  majority  of  his  party  have  never  had  the 
candour  to  face.  The  first  is  that  there  is  an  Irish 
question:  that  Ireland  is  not  a  collection  of  English 
counties,  but  a  nation,  and  not  altogether  a  small 
one.  The  second  is  that  Sir  Edward  Carson's  position 
is  neither  logically  nor  morally  to  be  distinguished 
from  that  of  the  leaders  of  the  Sinn  Fein  party.  He 
has  had  the  courage,  not  once,  but  many  times,  to  call 
a  spade  a  spade,  and  Sir  Edward  Carson  an  incen- 
diary. This  may  not  argue  any  great  audacity  on 
the  part  of  a  man  far  beyond  the  reach  of  arguments 
ordinarily  powerful  enough  to  stifle  independence. 
But  there  are  some  scores  of  men  equally  fortunate 
in  their  worldly  affairs  who  must  have  thought  the 
same  thing,  and  have  failed  to  say  it. 

Possibly  this  refusal  to  bow  the  knee  to  the  Ulster 
chieftain  may  partially  explain  the  fact  that  the  most 
talented  private  member  on  the  Unionist  benches 
though,  I  believe,  offered  some  minor  Ministerial 
post,  has  never  been  regarded  as  eligible  for  high  office. 
But  insubordination  is  not  the  only  weakness  of  Sir 
Mark  Sykes.  He  is  afflicted  with  a  sense  of  humour, 
and  has  even  been  known  to  lampoon  his  leaders.     He 


SIR  MARK  SYKES  231 

is  understood  not  to  regard  Mr.  Bonar  Law  with  any 
great  reverence,  and  has  never  schooled  himself  to 
speak  with  due  solemnity  of  Sir  F.  E.  Smith.  Nothing 
is  more  fatal  to  a  young  member  of  the  House  of 
Commons  than  a  reputation  for  undisciplined  bril- 
liance, and  the  habit  of  caricaturing  his  seniors  may 
have  seriously  affected  Sir  Mark  Sykes's  prospects. 
But  it  is  also  quite  possible  that  he  himself  prefers  for 
the  present  the  liberty  of  a  private  member.  Those 
who  know  him  best  credit  him  with  large  ambitions, 
which,  however,  he  can  wait  to  satisfy. 

However  that  may  be,  this  healthy,  wealthy,  and 
still  comparatively  young  Yorkshireman  cannot  be 
left  out  of  account  in  any  estimate  of  the  political 
future.  Nobody  can  foresee  what  is  to  emerge  from 
the  present  welter.  Official  Liberal  and  official  Con- 
servative are  about  equally  discredited.  "  Business  " 
members  have,  on  the  whole,  disappointed  expecta- 
tions. They  were  to  be  strong,  silent  men,  who 
would  do  miracles  by  stealth  and  blush  to  find  them 
fame.  Instead  they  have  mostly  proved  excellent 
talkers  and  wretched  performers,  skilled  in  making 
messes  and  dexterous  in  explaining  them  away. 
Labour  has  thrown  up  one  or  two  moderately  efficient 
administrators,  but  several  lamentable  failures. 
Generally  speaking,  its  record  is  not  brilliant ;  its 
"  machine  "  is,  moreover,  in  the  hands  of  men  by  no 
means  generally  trusted .  It  may  be  fairly  anticipated 
that  there  will  be  a  more  democratic  tendency  in  the 
politics  of  the  immediate  future.  But  "  democracy  " 
does  not  necessarily  mean  the  rule  of  Mr.  Henderson 
and  Mr.  Ramsay  MacDonald.  It  is  just  possible  that 
"  the  people,"  which  is  not  quite  the  same  thing  as 
organized  labour,  may  take  a  line  of  its  own. 

If  it  does,  there  is  no  real  reason  why  the  Toryism 
represented  by  Sir  Mark  Sykes  should  not  regain  a 


232  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 


good  deal  of  the  support  which  Unionism  of  recent 
years  has  lost.  After  the  war  England  will  in  all 
probability  exert  far  greater  influence  in  politics  than 
she  has  done  of  late  years ;  one  seems  already  to  smell 
revolt  against  Scottish,  Irish,  and  Welsh  domination. 
But  England  is  temperamentally  Tory,  and  never 
more  Tory  than  when  in  a  Radical  mood.  Cobbett, 
always  looking  backward  with  satisfaction,  round 
him  with  anger,  and  forward  with  gloom,  was  the 
concrete  expression  of  that  paradox.  Conservatism 
of  the  kind  the  present  generation  has  been  accus- 
tomed to  is  either  doomed  to  impotence  or  is  destined 
to  tease  and  worry  the  country  into  revolution.  But 
an  English  Tory  who  recognizes,  as  Sir  Mark  Sykes 
does,  that  many  a  man  desires  Mr.  Outhwaite's  land 
policy  who  detests  Mr.  Outhwaite's  views  on  all  else, 
might  do  much  to  guide  the  torrent  of  innovation 
into  safe  channels.  Is  the  member  for  Central  Hull 
heavy  metal  enough  for  such  a  role  ? 


LORD  BUCKMASTER  OF  CHEDDINGTON 

Lord  Buckmaster,  still  in  what  is  now  counted  early 
middle  age,  nourishes  a  competent  physique  and  a 
sufficient  understanding  on  the  pension  of  an  ex-Lord 
Chancellor  of  England.  How  it  happened  is  worth 
recalling,  and  perhaps  the  best  way  is  to  begin, 
Smiles  fashion,  at  the  beginning. 

There  was  nothing  in  the  early  circumstances  of 
Stanley  Owen  Buckmaster  to  suggest  that  he  would 
arrive  at  the  highest  legal  dignity  at  an  age  when 
many  able  advocates  are  wondering  whether  they  can 
afford  the  luxury  of  silk.     His  origin  was  comfort- 
able, but  not  distinguished.     The  son  of  a  member  of 
the  staff  of  the  Science  and  Art  Department  at  South 
Kensington,  he  was  given  a  good  education,  took  his 
degree  at  Christ  Church,  and  entered  on  his  studies  of 
the  law  at  the  Inner  Temple,  where  he  received  his 
call  in  1884.     The  Bar  is  described  as  a  great  lottery, 
and  certainly  its  chief  prizes  are  rather  capriciously 
distributed.     But,  after  all,  it  is  very  much  like  other 
professions  in  being,  on  the  whole,  kind  to  the  per- 
tinacious man  of  moderate  abilities.     A  genius  may 
quite  likely  be  starved  into  despair,  driven  to  drink, 
or  diverted  into  journalism  by  the  weariness  of  wait- 
ing and  the  drudgery  of  small  beginnings.     A  diffi- 
dent man,  a  lazy  man,  or  a  man  of  inconveniently 
large  sympathies  is  likely  to  be  still  complaining  after 
ten  years  that  it  is  impossible  to  pay  for  chambers  and 
laundress  out  of  professional   income.      But   steady 
work,  helped  by  a  prosaic  temperament  and  some 
faculty  of  discreet  self-advertisement,  generally  tells. 

233 


234  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

It  told  in  the  case  of  Mr.  Stanley  Buckmaster. 
Seventeen  years  of  assiduous  application  placed  him 
in  a  position  to  take  silk  and  look  round  for  a  seat  in 
Parliament. 

He  had  long  been  marked  by  the  Liberal  caucus 
as  a  promising  candidate,  and  he  came  in  for  Cam- 
bridge on  the  great  tidal  wave  of  1906.  He  failed  to 
hold  the  constituency  four  years  later,  but  had  mean- 
while established  "  claims,"  and  was  allotted  at  the 
first  opportunity  the  safe  seat  of  Keighley.  His 
reputation  at  the  Bar  was  rather  high,  but  purely 
professional ;  it  has  never  been  pretended  that  he  was 
either  a  great  advocate  or  a  profound  lawyer,  but  he 
was  keen,  dependable,  and  neat  in  his  presentation  of 
an  argument.  In  politics  the  same  character  attached 
to  him.  He  never  coined  a  phrase  of  note  or  forsook 
the  safe  path  of  official  Liberalism.  But  he  had 
learned  faultlessly  the  party  brief,  never  g  ve  him- 
self away,  and  made  himself  agreeable  in  the  right 
quarters.  When,  therefore,  he  was  appointed 
Solicitor-General  in  191 5  nobody  was  very  much  sur- 
prised, and  certainly  nobody  was  shocked.  He  was 
adequate  to  the  duties,  and  not  more  than  adequate: 
the  sort  of  man  who,  in  quiet  times,  climbs  step  by 
step  to  the  highest  positions  without  anybody  being 
able  to  say  why  he  should  be  there  or  why  not. 

The  war,  however,  brought  Sir  Stanley  Buckmaster 
duties  which  demanded  a  certain  human  quality 
which  he  lacks.  The  volatile  Sir  F.  E.  Smith,  after 
a  brief  experience  of  the  post  of  Chief  Censor,  decided 
to  go  to  France,  and  a  thankless  job  was  handed 
over  to  the  Solicitor-General.  It  is  quite  possible 
that  the  historian  will  attach  a  good  deal  of  import- 
ance to  this  appointment ;  it  certainly  had  much 
influence  on  the  course  of  events.  It  may  be  doubted 
whether  Sir  Stanley  Buckmaster  went  to  the  Press 


LORD  BUCKMASTER  OF  CHEDDINGTON  235 

Bureau  with  any  policy  of  his  own ;  more  probably 
he  stolidly  pursued  the  policy  he  found  there.  That 
policy  was  one  of  quite  stupid  suppression.  The 
public  was  kept  for  six  months  in  almost  complete 
ignorance  of  facts,  and  became  a  prey,  first,  to  a 
senseless  optimism,  and,  next,  to  something  closely 
resembling  panic.  One  important  result  is  directly 
traceable  to  Sir  Stanley  Buckmaster's  exaggeration 
of  "  reticence."  A  certain  kind  of  newspaper,  foiled 
in  all  attempts  to  get  itself  talked  about  and  sold 
through  its  news  columns,  made  the  experiment  of 
importing  sensation  into  its  hitherto  neglected  leading 
article.  Since  it  could  not  retail  news  from  the 
front,  it  would  make  news  at  home.  The  experiment 
was,  from  its  special  point  of  view,  a  brilliant  success. 
The  country  was  convulsed ;  nothing  else  w  s  talked 
about ;  even  Lord  Kitchener's  prestige  was  shaken ; 
whole  groups  of  officials  and  Ministers  were  displaced  mT 
and  the  lesson  was  learned  in  Fleet  Street  that  it 
is  sometimes  better  business  to  make  history  than 
to  chronicle  it.  What  has  since  been  attacked  as 
"  newspaper  government  "  springs  from  that  simple 
discovery. 

The  explosion  of  public  feeling  in  the  spring  of 
191 5  did  no  immediate  injury  to  the  Minister  whose 
concealment  of  facts  largely  provoked  it.  Indeed , 
it  actually  led  to  brilliant  promotion.  Victims  must 
be  found,  and  who  more  appropriate  than  Lord  Hal- 
dane,  who  had  said  Germany  was  his  spiritual  home  ? 
Lord  Haldane,  overwhelmed  by  the  storm,  left  the 
Woolsack;  Baron  Buckmaster  of  Cheddington  was 
called  into  existence  as  his  successor.  He  continued 
to  be  Lord  Chancellor  until  the  next  change  of 
Administration,  when  the  proprieties  demanded  that 
a  "  Unionist  "  should  replace  him.  Hence  it  arrives 
that  the  country  is  paying  thirty  thousand  a  year  for 


236  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

one  giant  of  the  law  who  is  not  overworked  and  for 
four  who  are  burdened  with  no  duties  at  all.  And 
yet  a  Lord  Chancellor  has  no  necessary  connection 
with  war  or  party  politics  ! 

Lord  Buckmaster's  active  career  quite  possibly 
ended  with  his  resignation  at  the  end  of  1916.  For 
men  of  his  particular  stamp  the  future  will  probably 
hold  fewer  opportunities  than  the  past.  But  he  is 
not  on  that  account  negligible.  In  his  detachment 
he  has  developed  the  malady  which  seems  to  attack 
distinguished  lawyers  in  retreat,  and  with  Lord  Lore- 
burn  he  is  treading  the  rather  slippery  path  that 
leads  to  Lansdowne  House.  At  any  rate,  he  is 
approaching  very  closely  to  that  school  which  accepts 
President  Wilson  as  idealist  and  rejects  him  as  realist. 
Lord  Buckmaster  is  quite  sure  that  there  must  be  a 
League  of  Nations ;  he  is  far  from  sure  that  the  defeat 
of  Imperialist  Germany  is  an  essential  condition  of  the 
success  of  such  a  League. 

There  was  once  an  "  exhorter  "  on  the  Western 
plains  who  prayed  that  a  notorious  sinner  might  be 
bitten  by  a  rattlesnake,  on  the  ground  that  "  nothing 
but  rattlesnakes  would  bring  Jake  to  repentance." 
Germany's  case  is  much  the  same.  The  nation  has 
been  so  systematically  infected  with  the  virus  of 
Prussianism  that  nothing  short  of  the  imminent  threat 
of  national  death  will  effect  a  cure.  The  German 
Socialists  admitted  that  Lenin  and  Trotsky,  by  their 
non-resistance,  had  made  the  position  of  the  German 
peace  party  not  less  but  more  difficult.  "  We  can- 
not," they  said  in  so  many  words,  "  place  ourselves 
in  the  position  of  critics  of  so  great  a  German  suc- 
cess." It  can  be  inferred  what  would  be  the  effect 
of  weak  compromise  on  the  part  of  the  other  Powers. 
Anything  short  of  the  complete  bankruptcy  of  the 
Prussian   system   will  leave   it   all-powerful   in   Ger- 


LORD  BUCKMASTER  OF  CHEDDINGTON  237 

many,  and  therefore  capable  of  resuming  in  due 
course  the  policy  which  Prussia  has  followed  con- 
sistently since  the  days  of  the  Great  Elector.  To  a 
still  Prussianized  German  Empire  the  League  of 
Nations  would  simply  be  a  greater  opportunity  for 
intrigue  than  its  Bismarcks  have  ever  enjoyed;  it 
would  be  merely  an  extended  Concert  of  Europe. 

Surrender  is  an  ugly  word.  But  when  we  have 
volatilized  all  the  noble  sentiment  and  seeming  reason- 
ableness of  Lansdowneism,  surrender  is  the  only  solid 
thing  left  in  the  test-tube.  It  may  be  an  injustice 
to  suggest  that  Lord  Buckmaster  and  Lord  Loreburn 
are  taking  the  Lansdownward  course.  But  these 
are  days  in  which  men  must  be  very  careful  of  the 
company  they  keep. 


MR.  SAMUEL  GOMPERS 

*'  I  am  an  internationalist,  but  my  doctrine  is  an 
addition  and  not  a  subtraction.  I  must  be  a  citizen 
of  America  before  I  can  be  a  citizen  of  the  world." 

These  are  the  words  of  Mr.  Samuel  Gompers, 
President  and  to  a  great  extent  creator  of  that  power- 
ful organization,  the  American  Federation  of  Labour. 
They  are  the  more  remarkable  when  we  bear  in  mind 
the  sort  of  man  Mr.  Gompers  is.  Superficially  he 
should  have  all  the  makings  of  a  "  citizen  of  the  world , ' ' 
and  it  is  not  so  obvious  why  he  should  be  first  and 
foremost  an  American  patriot.  He  is  of  Jewish 
race.  He  is  of  Dutch  and  French  ancestry.  He  was 
not  even  American  born.  Like  Mr.  Hughes,  of 
Australia,  he  first  saw  the  light  as  it  is  dulled  down  by 
the  eternal  murk  of  poorer  London.  It  was  in  the 
East  End  that  he  lived  till  he  was  thirteen — a  typical 
child  of  the  London  ghetto,  undersized,  over-nerved, 
sharp  and  avid  as  the  sparrow  of  the  gutters.  His 
father  worked  in  the  cigar  trade ;  there  was  no  better 
opening  for  the  boy,  and  when  the  paternal  Gompers 
went  to  New  York  young  Samuel  followed  the  family 
occupation.  He  was  soon  expert  as  a  cigar-roller, 
and  even  now,  after  the  lapse  of  more  than  half  a 
century,  his  fingers  have  not  forgotten  their  cunning. 

There  is  one  advantage — if  it  can  be  reckoned 
suoh — in  manual  work  of  this  type.  It  makes  little 
demand  on  the  brain.  One  can  think  as  one  works. 
One's  mind  is  free  if  one's  hand  is  a  slave.  In  the 
cigar  shop — it  was  hardly  a  factory — where  young 
Gompers  was  employed,  the  workers  whiled   away 

238 


MR.  SAMUEL  GOMPERS  239 

the  tedious  hours  by  reading  to  one  another.  Gom- 
pers,  who  had  even  in  those  days  an  emphatic  and 
distinct  delivery,  was  generally  employed  as  reader. 
It  was  much  such  an  atmosphere  as  that  which 
determined  the  future  of  Charles  Dickens.  The 
boy's  literary  taste  rapidly  developed;  and  the 
desultory  acquirements  of  the  shop  were  amplified 
by  a  more  systematic  attack  on  the  classics  during 
scanty  hours  of  leisure.  Gompers  devoured  the 
English  novelists.  Then,  tiring  of  fiction,  he  turned 
his  attention  to  John  Stuart  Mill  and  the  professors 
of  the  dismal  science  generally.  It  was  perhaps 
lucky  that  he  started  with  the  individualists;  the 
German  Socialists  and  Henry  George  had  less  effect 
on  his  mind  when  he  reached  them.  It  may  be 
questioned,  however,  whether  he  would  in  any  cir- 
cumstances have  rendered  an  unquestioning  homage 
to  that  school.  For  he  was  from  the  first  of  a  wholly 
practical  turn,  and  far  more  interested  in  the  world, 
and  especially  that  part  of  the  world  in  which  he 
found  himself,  than  in  any  Utopia. 

It  is  unnecessary  for  the  present  purpose  to  follow 
the  career  of  Mr.  Gompers  in  detail,  or  to  trace  step 
by  step  the  process  by  which  he  built  up,  from  quite 
small  beginnings,  the  organization  which  now  wields 
gigantic  power  in  every  part  of  the  United  States 
and  bargains  with  capital  in  the  name  of  three 
million  men.  But  it  is  important  to  understand  what 
is  roughly  the  basis  of  his  authority.  Mr.  Gompers 
has  done  many  things  which  would  be  considered 
"  advanced  "  even  by  our  own  Syndicalists.  But 
the  Federation  is  in  no  sense  a  revolutionary  organi- 
zation. It  does  not  exist  for  promoting  class 
war  or  social  unrest;  it  is  a  machine  contrived 
to  attain  most  definite  and  concrete  ends.  Mr. 
Gompers    himself   regards    a   strike    as    evidence    of 


240  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

failure.  He  believes  in  negotiation,  and  in  having 
a  case  so  strong  as  to  compel  agreement  on  the  part 
of  the  opposing  party.  He  is  about  as  far  removed 
from  the  usual  conception  of  an  agitator  as  can  well 
be  imagined — a  man  of  singularly  orderly  mind, 
almost  painfully  correct  in  his  diction,  as  cool  as 
Rockefeller  or  any  of  the  Big  Five,  pliable  as  to 
indifferent  matters,  inflexible  on  essentials.  In  its 
methods  the  American  Federation  of  Labour,  in  fact, 
strikingly  resembles  the  great  financial  corporations 
it  has  to  deal  with.  It  is  a  thoroughly  businesslike 
institution,  and  its  President  is  as  keen,  as  cautious, 
if  need  be  as  ruthless,  as  the  president  of  any  trust, 
but  withal  as  ready  to  see  the  opposing  point  of  view 
and  to  do  a  "  deal  "  without  reference  to  any  social 
or  political  prejudice. 

Such  is  the  man — shrewd,  hard-headed,  practical. 
His  work  has  presented  special  difficulties  of  a  kind 
not  easy  to«be  grasped  on  this  side  of  the  Atlantic. 
There  is  a  wide  difference  between  British  and 
American  labour  conditions.  Here,  after  all,  labour 
is  mainly  British ;  foreign  infiltration  affects  only  a 
few  large  towns,  and  even  in  the  capital  does  not 
materially  modify  the  character  of  the  population. 
In  America,  on  the  other  hand,  the  "  Anglo-Saxon  " 
workman — even  if  we  include  the  Irishman — is  some- 
thing of  a  rarity.  An  enormous  amount  of  the  hard 
work  of  the  great  Republic  is  done  by  miscellaneous 
foreigners ;  even  Germans  are  a  minority  among  the 
great  crowd  recruited  from  every  backward  mon- 
archy in  Europe.  Among  these  men  general  educa- 
tion is  defective,  and  they  speak  very  poor  English. 
The  more  intelligent  of  them  bear  a  grudge  against 
civilization,  and  have  no  special  reason  to  be  attached 
to  the  institutions  of  the  United  States.  The  control 
of  a  body  which  includes  great  masses  of  men  of  this 


MR.  SAMUEL  GOMPERS  241 

class  should,  one  would  imagine,  be  far  more  difficult 
than  the  task  of  British  Labour  leaders,  and  when 
war  came  to  inflame  racial  and  national  differences 
it  seemed  a  bold  thing  on  Mr.  Gompers's  part  to 
answer  for  the  solidarity  of  American  organized 
labour. 

That  the  claim  was  no  idle  one,  however,  has  been 
proved  by  events.  There  have  been  troubles  between 
employer  and  employed,  but,  on  the  whole,  aston- 
ishingly few,  and  those  which  have  occurred  have 
been  settled  with  extraordinary  facility  through 
machinery  of  Mr.  Gompers's  own  devising.  He  has 
worked  with  the  President  as  Marshal  Haig  with 
Marshal  Foch.  The  debt  the  United  States,  and 
the  Allies  in  general,  owe  to  this  remarkable  man 
is  beyond  doubt  enormous.  In  acknowledging  it 
we  may  usefully  enquire  why  Mr.  Gompers  occupies 
a  position  so  far  removed  from  that  of  those  of  our 
own  Labour  leaders  who  specially  retain  control  of 
the  "  machine."  Why  is  he  "  out  "  to  beat  Germany, 
and  not,  like  Mr.  Henderson,  "  out  "  only  to  get 
victory  for  the  "  international  proletariat  "?  Mr. 
Gompers  is  a  lifelong  pacifist,  just  as  Mr.  Henderson 
is.  He  has  been  much  nearer  the  proletariat  than 
Mr.  Henderson  ever  was.  He  has  fought  such  fights 
for  Labour  as  Mr.  Henderson's  meeker  nature  would 
have  shunned.  He  is  only  an  American  by  adoption. 
Mr.  Henderson's  ancestor  probably  drew  a  good  bow 
at  Hastings.  Why,  then,  does  Mr.  Gompers,  instead 
of  courting  the  German  Socialists  like  Mr.  Henderson, 
repeat  in  every  speech,  a  veritable  American  Cato, 
"  Germany  must  be  beaten;  the  war  must  be  fought 
to  victory  "? 

The  question  is  answered  by  Mr.  Gompers  himself 
in  the  words  quoted  above:  "  I  must  be  a  citizen 
of  America  before  I  can  be  a  citizen  of  the  world." 

16 


242  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 

Perhaps  the  coarsest  of  all  the  mistakes  made  by- 
Germany  was  with  regard  to  the  reality  of  American 
citizenship.  Germany  laid  stress  on  the  ethnic 
factor,  and  it  is  no  doubt  a  considerable  element  in 
American  life.  It  gives  all  kinds  of  Americans,  for 
example,  a  curiously  tired  feeling  when  they  read 
our  well-meant  eulogies  on  themselves  and  their 
institutions.  A  nation  which  derives  from  every 
race  in  Europe  is  not  likely  to  be  flattered  when  we 
assume  that  its  main  duty  is  to  "  take  its  stand  by 
the  Mother  Country  for  the  preservation  of  the  common 
interest  of  Anglo-Saxondom  " — which,  it  seems,  in- 
cludes India,  West  Africa,  and  the  Hokojoko  Islands. 
America  does  not  happen  to  be  "  Anglo-Saxon,"  even 
if  we  are.  But  though  America  is  not  English  (except 
as  regards  the  bases  of  law  and  language),  America 
is  American.  With  America  neutral,  personal  and 
racial  preferences  assumed  extraordinary  warmth, 
and  took  the  most  lawless  form.  But  with  America 
belligerent,  the  ranks  have  closed  marvellously. 

To  what  are  we  to  attribute  a  general  loyalty 
hardty  equalled  in  any  European  country  ?  Some- 
thing is  due,  no  doubt,  to  the  peculiar  directness  of 
the  American  intellect,  which  is  as  sharply  distin- 
guishable from  our  own  habit  of  cloudy  compromise 
as  the  thoroughgoing  heat  and  cold  of  the  American 
continent  are  from  our  trimming  climate.  Still  more, 
no  doubt,  is  traceable  to  the  school  system  of  the 
United  States,  which  brings  vivid  and  even  crude 
Americanism  into  the  homes  of  Italian,  Hungarian, 
Galician,  Scandinavian,  and  German  parents.  But 
in  the  long  run  the  most  powerful  influence  is  the 
democratic  and  Republican  temper  which,  if  it  does 
not  kill  the  spirit  of  sectionalism,  at  least  scotches 
it.  The  immense  bulk  of  the  United  States  does 
not   prevent  an  intense  localism.     Every  American 


MR.  SAMUEL  GOMPERS  243 


has  his  "  home  town,"  as  well  as  his  home  State, 
and  it  thus  results  that  the  most  cosmopolitan  com- 
munity on  earth  is  also  the  least  international.  Mr. 
Gompers's  citizen  formula  might  be  extended  thus: 
"lam  first  of  all  a  citizen  of  Big  Lick;  I  am  next  a 
citizen  of  the  State  of  Missouri ;  I  am  next  a  citizen 
of  the  United  States;  and  after  that  (when  I  have 
time)  I  am  a  citizen  of  the  world."  "  What  do  they 
know  of  England,"  asks  Mr.  Kipling,  "  who  England 
only  know?"  A  much  more  reasonable  question 
is  what  can  they  feel  for  the  British  Empire  who 
decry  either  their  native  Buluwayo  or  their  native 
Chipping  Sodbury  ?  British  Imperialism  has  made 
one  mistake  in  seeking  to  turn  Englishmen  and 
Scotchmen  into  Britishers.  British  Labour  has  made 
another  in  trying  to  regard  itself  as  part  of  the  "  in- 
ternational proletariat."  Both  have  begun  at  the 
wrong  end.  One  can  be  a  good  Englishman  first, 
and  all  sorts  of  things  afterwards — enthusiastic  for 
the  British  Commonwealth,  and  friendly  to  the  League 
of  Nations.  One  cannot  safely  reverse  the  process, 
and  that  we  exist  at  all  to-day  is  due  to  the  splendid 
fact  that  the  average  Englishman,  Scotsman,  and 
Welshman,  despite  all  exhortations  to  think  imperially 
and  proletarianly,  insisted  at  the  critical  moment  on 
thinking  nationally. 

In  this  context  it  is  highly  significant  that,  while 
there  is  a  colossal  Labour  organization  in  America, 
there  is  no  Labour  Party  in  Congress.  Mr.  Gompers 
has  set  his  face  like  flint  against  all  pressure  to  form 
one,  and  has  declined  all  invitations  to  be  nominated 
himself.  He  thinks  "  the  welfare  of  Labour  should 
not  be  confused  with  other  national  interests,  but 
should  be  the  concern  of  all  parties."  This  pure 
wisdom  does  not,  of  course,  prevent  the  American 
Labour  organization  from  bringing  strong  and  success- 


244  UNCENSORED  CELEBRITIES 


ful  pressure  to  bear  on  all  kinds  of  matters  in  which 
the  working  man  is  specially  interested.  In  fact, 
Mr.  Gompers  has  taken  an  enormous  part  in  State 
and  Federal  politics.  But,  like  the  millionaires 
themselves,  he  recognizes  the  indecency  of  open 
sectionalism  under  a  democratic  constitution.  It  is 
something  altogether  repellent  to  the  national  temper. 
Class  interests  exist  in  America  as  elsewhere,  and  are 
pursued  with  equal  selfishness.  But  the  point  is  that 
the  sectionalist  is  forced  by  public  sentiment  to  clothe 
his  sordidness  with  at  least  the  show  of  public  spirit. 

The  British  Labour  Party  cannot  be  blamed  be- 
cause, coming  late  in  the  day,  and  finding  nakedly 
selfish  parties  in  possession,  it  has  fought  for  its  own 
hand.  It  could  scarcely  do  otherwise.  But  when  it 
is  beginning  to  aspire  to  control  national  destiny  it 
should  seek  larger  models,  and,  since  there  is  little 
indeed  to  copy  at  home,  it  would  do  better  to  turn  to 
Mr.  Gompers  and  American  Labour  than  to  Trotsky 
and  Russian  Bolshevism,  or  to  "  our  German  friends," 
whether  they  follow  Scheidemann  or  Haase. 


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